one leg shorter

[Guest guest]

Robbin, yes the ® word does tend to ruffle feathers, but I rather prefere the phrase,

Differently Abled! as Mr, Montel would say!!

I interned in the deaf/blind department at the Mich Sch f/t the Blind while studing child care development and looking toward a possible career in the child care field. Also attended Sch f/t Blind.

And yes it places such a barier between the kids and others by the use of Mentally Retarted.

Fact is that most individuals with a Mental Impairment are not, without skills and able to train and learn to do and carry out the tasks of daily living, even hold down a job.

And ette your use of the phrase, I know is not use to demean your children in any way. Because your know the value of love form even a person whom might be, 'Differently Abled' is unmessurable, by any standards!

God love you's all and many Hugs and prayers too!

Rusty Limbs

On Tue, 21 May 2002 09:08:28 EDT Robbin40@... writes:

ette your kids are mentally challenged and you dont look at it any other way its just hard for me to look at the R word for mentally challenged i have a sister who is 19 and she has a speech problem and is mentally challenged but she still cares and loves maybe in a different way i dont see any difference other than they need special care and god chose you for this job cause he knew you could do it no MEN not saying ALL men have a problem my hubby included they think everyone should be normal but whats normal no one knows right now my hubby whom i have been married to 26 years still hasnt got it in his head that just because has a good day shes ok shes physically challenged and this JRA wipes her out one day good the next shes so tired she cant do what she did the day before he still cant except the fact this is his baby girl that has a disease that robs her of a so called normal life at this time he doesnt see that working with and doing everything wipes me out so i started telling him ok its like this is still your daughter she gets tired more than WE do and theres things she cant do one day but can the next its something HE has to get use to well that came back with fussing if and when he wants to learn about JRA then he can ask or learn to read up on this disease and understand she isnt going to give something to him deep inside he thinks its his fault is like he is so a man tries to close a door in his brain to not see this anymore and at some point they run so far my hubby has stuck with us but theres times when i wish he would just go off for a week and let me deal with alone i have seen him crying when went into a tremor or when screams so bad in pain and theres nothing he can do he looks at me and says you dont care about whats happening i told him yes i do care i just cant do anything except give her medication and take her to the ER and hold her and tell her everything will be ok he said but you dont know that i looked at him and said right i dont know everything but i do know she needs this hug and she needs words that make her feel better and someone who will be there for her maybe in years to come he will come around if not well i tried and will know and i am pushing to do what she wants to do and her goals are to go to college and suceed in life no matter what i am behind her 100% if her dad cant deal with it then its him hold your head high ette and dont worry about what others think its their problem they say never judge a person til you walk a mile in their shoes well thats so true and dont you let anyone make you feel not worthy when your doing everything you can to do the right thing and your X hubby should see that theres a difference between being a dad and BEING A DAD i had a dad but he never was a dad my grand dad and step dad were DADS if you want to talk email me my hubby and me only have 1 son and 1 daughter he wants more kids lololol but since mom passed away in 1999 we have extra kids around most of the siblings are in their late teens or early 20s so i am the extra mom for them lolol and the baby sister will have to have someone looking over her at all times but i am so called happy just being ME s mom :-) Robbin

[Guest guest]

Hi Robin, Yes I agree with you and they are challanged but that doesn't mean that I can't tell them they can do most everything. i love them and learn so much from them. I learn how they don't hold a gruge on their dad as i do, and I learn to be patient too. They are my reason for living and I thank God everyday for sending them to me. I did find out from the special ed class my daughter is in that most parents don't take their child anywhere in public and boy I take them everywhere with me.

I do have a question for you. I saw my doctor today and she said that my blood was hight in the arthirits part and she gave me samples of Bextra 10mg to try for my pain. I have been trying to look it up before I take one but as usual I am bad at this. Do you know anything about it? Or how I can look it up?

I sure can understand how your daughter feels with getting so tired. I went to the mall yesterday and boy I am still feeling it today! I just can't get up sometimes. Oh also my pressure is high but the doc says it's from the pain! I never heard this before, is this true? I asked her all kinds of questions but well I guess with all the other patients she has she didn't want to take time to explain everything. I have a feeling I am going to have to try a different doctor.

Thank you so much for being such a wonderful mother to your daughter and a great friend to me.

Hugs,

ette

<))><

-- Re: one leg shorter

ette your kids are mentally challenged and you dont look at it any other way its just hard for me to look at the R word for mentally challenged i have a sister who is 19 and she has a speech problem and is mentally challenged but she still cares and loves maybe in a different way i dont see any difference other than they need special care and god chose you for this job cause he knew you could do it no MEN not saying ALL men have a problem my hubby included they think everyone should be normal but whats normal no one knows right now my hubby whom i have been married to 26 years still hasnt got it in his head that just because has a good day shes ok shes physically challenged and this JRA wipes her out one day good the next shes so tired she cant do what she did the day before he still cant except the fact this is his baby girl that has a disease that robs her of a so called normal life at this time he doesnt see that working with and doing everything wipes me out so i started telling him ok its like this is still your daughter she gets tired more than WE do and theres things she cant do one day but can the next its something HE has to get use to well that came back with fussing if and when he wants to learn about JRA then he can ask or learn to read up on this disease and understand she isnt going to give something to him deep inside he thinks its his fault is like he is so a man tries to close a door in his brain to not see this anymore and at some point they run so far my hubby has stuck with us but theres times when i wish he would just go off for a week and let me deal with alone i have seen him crying when went into a tremor or when screams so bad in pain and theres nothing he can do he looks at me and says you dont care about whats happening i told him yes i do care i just cant do anything except give her medication and take her to the ER and hold her and tell her everything will be ok he said but you dont know that i looked at him and said right i dont know everything but i do know she needs this hug and she needs words that make her feel better and someone who will be there for her maybe in years to come he will come around if not well i tried and will know and i am pushing to do what she wants to do and her goals are to go to college and suceed in life no matter what i am behind her 100% if her dad cant deal with it then its him hold your head high ette and dont worry about what others think its their problem they say never judge a person til you walk a mile in their shoes well thats so true and dont you let anyone make you feel not worthy when your doing everything you can to do the right thing and your X hubby should see that theres a difference between being a dad and BEING A DAD i had a dad but he never was a dad my grand dad and step dad were DADS if you want to talk email me my hubby and me only have 1 son and 1 daughter he wants more kids lololol but since mom passed away in 1999 we have extra kids around most of the siblings are in their late teens or early 20s so i am the extra mom for them lolol and the baby sister will have to have someone looking over her at all times but i am so called happy just being ME s mom :-) Robbin

[Guest guest]

Jona you are so wonderful that it's a wonderful daily thing to get on here and have such wonderful friends.

Yes I guess I am my worst critic but when the ex says things like no one will like you you are ugly and stuff I get real sad.

I saw the doc and she gave me Bextra. Don't know anything about them but I am trying to look them up which is a big laugh.

Thanks

ette

<))><

-- Re: one leg shorter

Carolyn, 42 with JRA, Interesting to right apendages???? your right leg shorter than your right leg*****!!!!

friendly tease!!!

Rusty(full of the devil ) Limbs

[Guest guest]

Dear ette,

You sound beautiful to us. Big hugs to you and your amazing children.

Eli and Riley 4 poly

[Guest guest]

Hi ette,

You are not the only one that has men telling you that your ugly and stuff. My oldest daughters father use to tell me I was ugly and everything you can think of; he was such a mental abuser and that's why I didn't stay with him; I didn't give him time to walk out on me but I also didn't have arthritis so I can understand why you didn't leave him. Although now just this year I found out that I have a narrowing in my spine and I am going to a stupid and mean dr. but I had been having all different kinds of pain from my neck to my back to my head to my jaws. And I was diagnosed a few years ago with TMJ by a different Dr. and I have pretty bad pain. But anyway the reason that I have to go to such a stupid Dr. is because we don't have many to chose from down here. And he wouldn't even explain to me anything about what this narrowing of the spine is or if it has a name or anything so all I know about it is what I have found on the internet. i am going to take my MRI results to my family Dr. and show him because he is so much more caring and probably a lot smarter and I know he will at least tell me more than this dumb doc at the pain clinic(hope he don't see this)All that this doc does is gives you pain pills and the epidural shots(I think thats what they are called) but he dosen't explain nothin to ya and he's just mean. At first before I had the MRI he accused me of lying about having pain! And when my MRI came back He acted mad cause he was wrong! I will look Bextra up for you if you want but all you really have to do is type Bextra in the search thing and click search and you should get some results. And I hope you get some releif from the med. God Bless and Thanks for being so nice! Jona mom of na

Ginger Sunshine <sweetpea777@...> wrote:

Jona you are so wonderful that it's a wonderful daily thing to get on here and have such wonderful friends.

Yes I guess I am my worst critic but when the ex says things like no one will like you you are ugly and stuff I get real sad.

I saw the doc and she gave me Bextra. Don't know anything about them but I am trying to look them up which is a big laugh.

Thanks

ette

<))><

-- Re: one leg shorter

Carolyn, 42 with JRA, Interesting to right apendages???? your right leg shorter than your right leg*****!!!!

friendly tease!!!

Rusty(full of the devil ) Limbs

[Guest guest]

Rusty

your right Mentally challenged can learn and do what they need to do

my sister whom i referred was never learned the basics so i am going to have to teach her she use to get on the computer and Instant message me and talk but she could not spell good and so we learned over the computer to spell many used words she needed to use

helps her in reading took by surprise when asked my sister to read her a book well my sister couldnt read her the book talked to me about it and i told her to read to her and that would help

her learn to read so we went to get easy to read books and little by little my sister can read little books she wants to get a job so far she wants and she will get there

Robbin

[Guest guest]

ette

blood pressure rises when your having discomfort pain or a infection the medication you mentioned i have not heard of but will look it up for you and send you the link my sister talks with a accent really its her speech impairment people look at her differently but i know her and who cares what others say shes my sister and she knows i will speak up glad your in the group

Robbin

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much.

ette

<))><

-- Re: one leg shorter

Dear ette, You sound beautiful to us. Big hugs to you and your amazing children. Eli and Riley 4 poly

[Guest guest]

Robbin, for job placement look at places like Kentucky Fried Chicken, Mc 's and other major fast food places, also Wal Mart and Target Stores. They have very good track records for hirering those workers with special neeeds. As well as your state Rehabilataion Serveces.

Hope that helps!

Rusty Limbs

On Tue, 21 May 2002 22:12:19 EDT Robbin40@... writes:

Rusty your right Mentally challenged can learn and do what they need to do my sister whom i referred was never learned the basics so i am going to have to teach her she use to get on the computer and Instant message me and talk but she could not spell good and so we learned over the computer to spell many used words she needed to use helps her in reading took by surprise when asked my sister to read her a book well my sister couldnt read her the book talked to me about it and i told her to read to her and that would help her learn to read so we went to get easy to read books and little by little my sister can read little books she wants to get a job so far she wants and she will get there Robbin

[Guest guest]

Robbin, yes i agree. My mentally challanged children have some speach problems but to me I will tell them they are doing very good. I mean if they know their address and phone number and how to use a phone that is wonderful. i am teaching both of them how to order at Mcs and anywhere els we go just to show them that people can understand them.

You are also right with what you said about the high blood preasure. my doctor said the same thing. It's because of the pain and the low grade fevers.

I am so thankful I came here and thank you all.

ette

<))><

-- Re: one leg shorter

ette blood pressure rises when your having discomfort pain or a infection the medication you mentioned i have not heard of but will look it up for you and send you the link my sister talks with a accent really its her speech impairment people look at her differently but i know her and who cares what others say shes my sister and she knows i will speak up glad your in the group Robbin

[Guest guest]

Hi , I am hanging, for real!! lol I have had so much to deal with this past week it's not funny and it seems to be going on into the new week. My daughter's braces broke yesterday and had to drive to her dentist this morning which I dread! It's like an hour drive there and back. But anyway that's fixed. Now I have to go see the ENT tomorrow because there is something in my right ear that's making it so I can't hear at all. Then i found out that my Doctor tells me after a very long talk, that I have stills JRA and told me how different it is and all the medicines that are new out are not for me.

Have to go rest, feeling rather tired today.

ette

<))><

-- Re: one leg shorter

Hi ette,

Hang in there gal! We are all here for you and as for the Ex ...well it's his loss now. JRA vets are ..well.. like those timex watches, we take the lickin's and keep on tickin" lol ! Your heads in the right place if you stay positive and think of yourself and your kids needs. I'm sorry that your Ex still doesn't understand your need to pace yourself and I wouldn't hold my breath that he ever would beings its been 25 yrs and he hasn't learned that lesson yet!! At least he is still involved with the children. I think you'll soon find out that not only will bed and TV time become your TLC but this group will be great for TLC as well.

Most people understand very little or nothing about JRA. That's why the FACES group goes to businesses and schools and delivers a program to teach about arthri! tis, the differing types and about the forms that they can prevent, we also teach about being different and how we are all alike in many ways. We actually tape the childrens hands and put splints and things on them to help them understand about limitations, then we ask them to perform everyday tasks that they do all the time and don't think twice about like dressing for school in time to run to a bus, opening pill bottles and water bottles , to dealing with bullies and people who laugh or make fun of them. I guarantee we've changed a few lives and in the process are stamping out a little of the ignorance about JRA and the fact that kids get arthritis, too!

As for the rest of your life well you have a long road ahead of you and a couple more children to help leave the nest. Also I truely believe their are alot of people out there that understand and don't judge on appearance or limitations. I worked for almost a dozen years as an! artist and designer for a local stoneware firm. The owner had a son that was mentally ill and so was very understanding about having a chronic illness. I had to give up that job finally because I was doing too much damage to my fingers wrist elbows and shoulders, and had to have both hips replaced was the last straw that made my surgeon say nomore 60 hr weeks for me lol ..It was the hardest thing I'd ever done. My job was my place where I fit in finally and now I had to give it up and I couldn't do it for many reasons, I even used a scooter at work for almost 2 1/2 yrs before admiting that I for sure had to have the hip replacements. Talk about stubborn lol. I thnak God for that stubborness though , it gets me through when I feel so bad but have to still be there for my hubby and son. My husband helps alot around the house but I'm here to tell you that there is alot that he doesn't understand, can't handle and will never come to terms with ....I've now accepted this about h! im and well I ask him to do what he can like clean the toilet , lol the floors, help with laundry, who cares if all my bras and undies are pink or blue or a queer shade of gray lol! Other things like depression, fatigue, and how things can change from one minute to the next is much harder for him. So I don't expect too much from him in that way because he doesn't handle change well and that's what alot of my life is about lol

I think my son is going to do well though , he's grown up understanding what it's like to have to do things but in a little different way. He is so far clear of JRA but we have had a few scares with growing pains. He does however have severe allergies, specific Learning Disability and attention Deficit Disorder. I'm not sure which is worse , having the "invisible disability " or the "visible kind" ...they both have huge pitfalls. He just graduated from eigth grade this evening, and what trial the las! t 9 years have been for us. I'm sure you know these frustrations as well! Ok well i've written a short novel now and it's almost 11:30 and that's several hours past my bed time lol Dang computer steals my rest time more than I care to admit lol I think i'm addicted lol SO think positive and you will handle life's twist and turns lol I meant the road of life not our bodies lol although the older I get its really funny how the things that are suppose to be straight are crooked and the things that are suppose to bend are permanently straight lol Oh well such is my life lol

Ok I'm really quiting this time lol what state are you in ette???? :):)Tree:):)

Re: one leg shorter

Carolyn, 42 with JRA, Interesting to right apendages???? your right leg shorter than your right leg*****!!!!

friendly tease!!!

Rusty(full of the devil ) Limbs!