Re: The Human Side

[Guest guest]

I know I dont share letters to the shipyard anymore on here but I want to share this. This wonderful woman I dont even know and she gets it. She is my daughters colorguard instructor and Karis IM was left on by mistake so she wrote thinking my daughter was home sick.

I sent this to ALL politicians involved and bosses and commander at the shipyard so maybe they could see a human side. Its a little long but this person was so wonderful I wanted to share. Its me under Kariberry.

Janet

Honorable Congressman,Senators,Advisors and others respectively:

I wanted you to see a human side to this.Its about a mother and daughter whom are very close and this MOLD ILLNESS has taken away so much from my life with no help from anyone to get better. I cannot go far from my air cleaners in my apartment and as left foot is losing feeling I cant drive.I know some of you may delete but I hope a couple of you take the time.

Thank you,

Janet s

Subj: (no subject)

Date: 3/3/03 9:54:16 AM Eastern Standard Time

From: Gingersnap1964

Kari must have left her IM up on computer. This is a conversation I have shared with her colorguard instructor. Janet

Jennean79: I think very highly of your daughter as well. She has told me you arent well right now. It takes no extra effort on my part to give her some support. It comes very naturally to me and I remember my own teenager-hood. None of us have it easy at that time... some have harder rows to hoe - your daughter is strong

Jennean79: and full of grace. You are doing a whole lot of "right" as her mother. Even if her teenager-side make you wonder sometimes... when she's out in the world - it's there. She has it. I believe as women we can only get it from our mothers and then it's reinforced in the world by other women.

KariBerry7985: yes she is thank you. It has been her and I against the world since she was four. No dad around much and she is very self sufficient. There is alot I cant do right now or leave home much and when I saw you write I wanted to tell you that she thinks lot of you and I am glad rthere are some peole left who dont mind helping with a little support. Kari is a tough kid and has handled most of her senior year and college admins on her own with guidance counselor. I am very proud of her and miss horribly the shows this year. I just wanted to say thankyou.

Jennean79: Janet, you are so welcome. I'm trying to get my hands on a tape of Sat's show. I too had a single mother growing up and did most of the work to get myself into college. Kari reminds me much of myself at her age - though I didn;t have the same level of grace she has - we also share the same birthday - about 15 years apart! I;m glad to have a chance to meet you online

Jennean79: at least and perhaps our paths will cross at some point. I will keep you posted about the video.

KariBerry7985: Really, about the birthday? Thats neat and thanks for understanding. I cried or an hour after she left Sat bcause I couldnt go. Thanks for your kind words. I am at Gingersnap1964@... if ever needed and thank you again so Kari isnt alone away from me.

Jennean79: Yes, Athena Hanson on the guard is also the 9th... wierd! I will make sure you get that video... Know from a relative stranger - Kari will make sure she's never alone when she's away from you. You've done well, Mom.

KariBerry7985: Thank you :-)

Jennean79: I wish you peace in your day.

KariBerry7985: I will miss her horribly next year. She has been my world for 17 years. I was hoping it wasnt thought that I wasnt interested in what she does. Its this sick stuff. I never missed a thing. Even the soccer games in the rain. I wish you peace in yours too. Thank you again. Janet

Jennean79: Janet - one last thing - it took me into my early twenties to realize that my mother was a human being without all the perfections I imagined. I had to experience some of my own personal hardship before I had any idea about being a real woman and what my mother went through raising 5 kids on her own. I thank her every Sunday when we talk and I truly think of her as my hero. Kari already has some of what I realized in my twenties. You will never lose her because of the distance. I moved 500 miles away

Jennean79: to go to college and now only go back to visit. But I visit and I do go back. My mother and I are at the level of closeness and understanding I'd always hoped for - but it was in getting my space and experiencing all I have that has truly given me the understanding and profound love and resppect for my mother. It also allowed me to finally understand her love for me. She set me free to do it, and because I do belong to her, she can never lose me.

KariBerry7985: She has a hard time dealing with this and she shows it by an attitude at times so I have to remember where it is coming from and leave it alone. he doesnt realize totally yet what she is made of and capable of, but she will. Thank you again for your interest in my daughter. There are a few people left in my life AFTER mold and I call them my angelss. I think you are one for my daughter and I thank you.You sound like a wonderfull person. Kari is very direct and and if she speaks highly of you, she means it.

KariBerry7985: There...two great minds think alike. :-)

Jennean79: Thank you!

KariBerry7985: No..thank you. When you are real sick and basically not able to get out anywhere, your perspective on life changes. I will miss Kari but will not clip her wings no matter how hard it is for me...:-)

Jennean79: I hear you. If Kari didn't tell you, I ama social worker by trade and spent little over two years working in hospice care... I've seen alot. Without intention of stepping on toes, I hope you are able to put focus of support on yourself as your raising your beautiful daughter... you are not alone and I hope you have people in your life to show you.

KariBerry7985: I have a set of friends, Dan and Joyce Maglaras. They are the ones who pick up Kari and get her to practice. I told them God put them in my life at the right time as Dan has become my best friend and wont let me stop fighting the government. They are wonderfull people and treat Kari and I like family. Without them I do not know what I would do. I am glad you realize I have not ben to anything bevause I am not interested. Until now, I am the parent who never misses a half time football game, concerts, honor society inductions, soccer games. So this is tough for me. Kari likes to ignore I am sick and I think it is because she is afraid. I am only stable person in her life. She will do well on her own.But I will hate to let her go. hes a strong young woman who just doesnt realize her potential yet. Thank you for recognizing that. I worry as she keeps things inside so I am glad she talks to you.

Jennean79: Janet, I would imagine that it's been all the change in the way you live your daily life with your family that is far more difficult than actually being sick. If things still went the way we're used to and like when we get sick, being sick would just be an inconvevience. It must be so hard to adjsut to all the changes - especially the physical changes of not having the energy you used to to go, be and do the things you still want to. I hope you stop fighting whom ever you must fight, ONLY when you're

Jennean79: truly done and not because you feel defeated. i wish you continued love and support from your "adopted" family and information at your fingertips when you need it. You are the only person wearing your shoes. no one knows what they feel like, but there are many others who can use the same words to describe how their shoes feel. You are not alone.

I don't know details. Kari shares with me in small spurts and very much like me values some definitive level of personal provacy. That is paramount for me in

Jennean79: my respect for her and any other human being I come in contact with.

KariBerry7985: Well, she does speak highly of you and when she gets home,I am waiting here with my coffee to hear what I couldnt see. Thank you again. Yes she is a very private person and I respect that,and have to be carefull and understand that when her anger at my illness comes out as anger at me,that I know what it really is. I still say you are another "angel". That is what I call my friends.

KariBerry7985: Thank you again for keping an eye on my daughter when she is away from here on these trips. Again, thanks for keting me know you realize I am NOT an UNinterested Mom. :-)

Jennean79: Thank you. Try not to forget mothers are fitted with wings when they give birth... I so truly know you are not uninterested. the best you can do today IS enough, Janet. Blessings to you.

KariBerry7985: And God Bless you........

Jennean79: thank you.