Not a punishment, but a blessing

[Guest guest]

A curse this may seem, I don't believe that any more.

In the beginning I thought God must hate me for punishing me so. I

would look at my life and wonder why. I own and operate a bird

sanctuary and own a store to fund this. I barely make enough to

survive yet dedicate all of my time to helping abused birds and

their owners in order to stop the abuse. Why would God punish me My

life has always been self sacrifice.

On top of that I had no medical insurance like most of you and

having an anaphalactic reaction 28 days out of a month. No money to

get medical attention, and when I would save enough to go to a

doctor they would refuse to listen unless I would give up my

business or do their expensive tests that were unneccessary.

Due to my limited income I had to learn about my illnesss and treat

myself. My advantage was I didn't know for over two years that it

was my buildings making me sick, (I am a workaholic and spend most

of my time in the business, my home was also sick). So I studied the

illness it caused.

I learned how to control my symptoms this way. At first when I

realized it was the building I panicked. How could I afford to fix

these buildings when the insurance co. refuse my claims. I was

afraid literally for my life and everyone elses. But, realizing what

was making me sick taught me how to use the treatment I came up with

more affectively, so mold doesn't control me any more completely.

After I got my self under control I realized when I smelled mold on

other people I wandered if they too were victims. I began watching

them and how they were responding in my store and realized I wasn't

alone, I began working with these victims and have been able to help

them the way I helped myself.

I don't see any of this as a punishment anymore. I knew nothing

about mold before and certainly didn't ask for or earn punishment as

my life has always been selfless to the point of hurting myself to

benefit others. I know a great deal about it now, I can recognize

victims even when they say nothing, I know how to treat them,

support and help them, when all of the people we were raised to

trust have turned their back on them.

KNOWING WHAT IS MAKING YOU SICK IS NOT A CURSE OR PUNISHMENT. IT IS

A BLESSING AS MOST VICTIMS OUT THERE DON'T HAVE A CLUE AS TO WHY

THEY ARE SICK. I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY ILLNESS AND HAVE CHOSEN TO

WORK WITH IT INSTEAD OF FIGHTING IT (its been here a long time but

ignored, and it is here to stay) All of us who know what has

happened to our bodies have an opportunity to change things, non-

victims don't care. WE DO!

What you choose to do with what you have learned is up to you, for

me I will help as many people as I can. I don't have much money,

power, and have very little time but, I believe God gave me this as

a gift to help others, not to punish or hurt me. I should be dead

not many people get as sick as I was and survive.

Tina