Re: How do you deal with skeptics?

February 8, 2004

This is tough. I found over time that if I pointed out right then how bad I was feeling the family did begin to get it. My biggest problem is with toiletries. My husband doesn't understand that using cologne and hair spray in HIS bathroom still bothers me. I haven't been able to change that yet.

a

I would appreciate any feedback on how to deal with one's family members who fail to understand that you can be reacting so extremely to mold spores when they are unaffected? Because the presence of spores often cannot be smelled and seen, how do you deal with convincing your family members of how sick such spores can make you so they will take steps so as to not make you sicker?

February 8, 2004

Its is hard for others to see the changes and not see the cause. The normal is

always suspecting the mental image of illness instead of physical...must be the

way we are raised to be influnenced by Medical Doctors and pills instead of

other cures.If you had a rash, hives or something tangible...they would have better

understanding. But mold infection is not visible untill it becomes acute...and that does

happen.

Living with the spores and being sensitive or not....depends on how effective your

immune system battles with it. Long term exposure can create sensitivity even in strong

immune systems...so those who scoff at your symtoms may in time have them!!!

I don't think we need to resort to extreme measures to convince loved ones of this

illness......It should be obvious something is happening to your health. The sensitivity

when you visit places is a biggee....asking hubby to take you home from a party,

home from a restaurant etc.....its not like you are throwing up or collapsing on the

floor etc. Not a 911 call.....but a condition where it feels life threatening to you!

My wife says she reaches a point where she cannot breathe......yet all her tests come

back negative for Asthma.....! We visited a friends house...at the door she said I can't

go inside.....it was a bit difficult to explain ....other peoples homes are not safe.

Insidious things like the dirt in the flower pots in the foyer of a public building....can be

triggers....!!

In all this the best way to deal with it is tell the truth !!! Let them learn about it and ask

if they will. Otherwise you need to protect your self regardless of other's thinking.

In regards to a family member who is uncaring.....who wears after shave...smokes etc...

Maybe you need to puke on them .....and give back a bit of the ill effects.....harsh but

effective....! Maybe a fainting spell???

The physical appearance of illness is more effective at convincing others. You may

need to become adept at acting it out in some physical way. Slumping; staggering, or

otherwise showing severe distress. The need to assist you is convincing of an illness

being present.

I am sure many other good ways to convince family members exist....but all depend on

their loving and caring responses. Remember that they feel deprived of your previous

ability and company in all that you did together.

Bryce

On Sun, 08 Feb 2004 03:44:24 -0000 "shainaraisa" <shanaraisa@...> writes:

I would appreciate any feedback on how to deal with one's family members who fail to understand that you can be reacting so extremely to mold spores when they are unaffected? Because the presence of spores often cannot be smelled and seen, how do you deal with convincing your family members of how sick such spores can make you so they will take steps so as to not make you sicker?FAIR USE NOTICE:This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

February 8, 2004

My father has a hard time understanding. Their house has mold and I smell it on their clothes. But he insists on visiting for a length of time and he can see me getting sicker but its like he ignores it. I have only one friend left. His trailer is very moldy. He leaves clothes here and takes a shower when he comes over. I run like your friend if I smell hairspray or perfume. Especially diesel fumes and wood smoke. I also have had CFS for years but didn't connect it until I got sick where I worked.

Janet

February 8, 2004

Bryce, thanks for this excellent and encouraging summary. I must say that I have a friend who worked in the same building with me when we both got sick. She got MCS while I got cfs. I really thought she was nuts when she would just get out of the car because she could smell someone's new nail polish. Once we stayed at a motel while visiting friends. I sprayed hairspray in the bathroom, and she went running out into the parking lot. I DID NOT GET IT and thought she was nuts. We are still friends. But it took me realizing I was sensitive to certain places before I understood how awful this is. Perhaps sharing these comments of ours with family members or friends would help. I have one friend with whom I am no longer friends. She refused to adjust in any way - just could not understand my problem. This reminds me of the old Beverly Hillbilly Show. When the doorbell rang, somehow, they had company every time. But they couldn't figure out the connection.