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Blue on my B-Day

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Hi all. I haven't posted in a while, other than to reply to some

posts. I am kind of in limbo now, just waiting for my appointment

with Dr. Feng on the 18th. I have been having a lot of ups and

downs... good days and then bad days... but I was hoping today (my

birthday) would be a good day. It's not. I'm not feeling well at all

and have plans to go out with friends tonight but don't know how I'll

manage. I'm so bummed because I justwwanted to go out and have a good

time. The most frustrating thing is there doesn't seem to be anything

that I do that determines whether I'll have a good or bad day. I

stick with pretty much the same (very hypo-alergenic diet), same

meds, usually get about the same amount of sleep every night. I hate

the unpredictablily, and I wish I could just do something to make

today and tonight one of those infrequent times that I feel good. Oh

well. Guess I'll pull myself through somehow and try to put on a good

gameface (acting " normal " ... like I feel fine... is also exhausting).

Well, hope everyone else is good.

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