Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 DonActually, just a few days ago, I realized that I do not have cancer!! Therefore, there is no reason for me not to work. For far too long, I've ignored my work and it's coming back to haunt me now.Yes, I am post cancer 1 year next month. However, there is a high risk that it will return. However, I've also realized that there is absolutely nothing I can do about the future and I simply need to focus on TODAY.You know, especially yesterday, I was feeling very depressed. I had not taken my usual anti-d in the morning. So, I learned that even if I want to just lay about in bed, I still need that anti-d.Therefore, as of this morning, I was back in full bloom. In fact, had to get up an hour earlier than usual, in order to get something to a client. I don't even want to say this; but, I had bad thoughts about living yesterday!! So, I'm glad that the anti-d kicked in when it did. Not that I've ever or would actually do the deed. Gawd, I'd feel so guilty even if I tried. That alone would stop me. It's a horrible thing to do to my son or my parents, period.I will never give up HOPE. The future is not in my hands and I'd rather take each day as it comes. Waking up breathing in the morning should be enough to have a happy day. So, I hate it when I slide that bad!! Won't do it again if I can help it.Luv Gloria Hi Gloria I dont know how long ago that article was written. I have been posting articles about cancers for a long time. According to these articles 75%+ of all cancers are treatable right now, and they are finding out new stuff everyday. Arent you POST cancer? There was just a spot the last time you imaged, right? That might be anything maybe. I know you have a lot of fear about your cancer comming back. I would be worried too, because cancer is not a pretty word. I pray to God daily, that you never have to go thru it again. In my humble opinion, you have gone thru enough. God can show you a bit of kindness now. Hang on Gloria, maybe all is well? Please dont give up HOPE. love don in ks DonThis is an excellent amount of information! At least to folks that can read the whole thing. Of course, here is the statement I hate Patients with liver cancer have a limited life span regardless of treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Hi Gloria Yayyyyy - I finally got some facts right. LOL :-) I sure appreciate all your strength and honesty. Your strength because it helps me be strong. Your honesty because my thoughts are alot like yours. I live with a constant depression, but I dont want to go back on my meds because I am trying to preserve my liver. If my head gets real bad, I will tho, without hesitation. I have been suicidal before, and thats not a pretty picture. I think my fear is worse tho, and I dont know of any drugs I can get for fear except heroin, and I dont want that. [been there, done that.] I am afraid I may never get to treat, and that my liver will fail or turn to cancer. Im 60 now, and I am afraid I wont make it to 70 - healthy. Im not sure I could make it thru a transplant or surgury due to my heart. Maybe my fears are bigger than my realitys. I too, live each day for the best, and try not to worry too much about tomarrow. All I have is you folks in this group, and a whole lotta HOPE. love don in ks DonThis is an excellent amount of information! At least to folks that can read the whole thing. Of course, here is the statement I hate Patients with liver cancer have a limited life span regardless of treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 DonWhat you have said here is exactly what I can't allow myself to do! I cannot worry about the tomorrows. What will happen, will happen and there is absolutely no sense worrying about it. There is absolutely nothing you can do about tomorrow!!Look at something that just happened in my life. Beginning Feb 2/10, I had to be concerned about the cancer I did have. It was not a dream or a worry down the road. Nope - right there, right now. The real news about liver cancer is not really nice. So, do I continue to worry or live each day that I can!Anyway, because I was so sick for those years, I knew for a certainty that I would likely die before my husband. Geez, didn't happen that way did it?? Then my baby brother should have been the healthiest in the family. Instead, we had 18 days between learning about his cancer and the end of his life. He sure didn't have time to get depressed or worry about it, hey??Now, I'm saying this to you, but I need to see what comes from my heart to the keyboard, too. Old timer used to say "worry is like sitting on rocking horse, lots of action; but, you aren't going anywhere".Then, another little thing just came to mine. You mention your wish to keep your liver healthy so often, that I know you worry. But, you are worried about some little pill that keeps the edges smooth and instead, your likely causing as much damage, worrying about all this. Really, truly, when the word comes down (cancer) it's nothing like I might have thought it would be. I knew what had to be done each day.By the way, what was that making it to 70 in a healthy state?? You are not very heathy right now!!! Luv GloriaHi Gloria Yayyyyy - I finally got some facts right. LOL :-) I sure appreciate all your strength and honesty. Your strength because it helps me be strong. Your honesty because my thoughts are alot like yours. I live with a constant depression, but I dont want to go back on my meds because I am trying to preserve my liver. If my head gets real bad, I will tho, without hesitation. I have been suicidal before, and thats not a pretty picture. I think my fear is worse tho, and I dont know of any drugs I can get for fear except heroin, and I dont want that. [been there, done that.] I am afraid I may never get to treat, and that my liver will fail or turn to cancer. Im 60 now, and I am afraid I wont make it to 70 - healthy. Im not sure I could make it thru a transplant or surgury due to my heart. Maybe my fears are bigger than my realitys. I too, live each day for the best, and try not to worry too much about tomarrow. All I have is you folks in this group, and a whole lotta HOPE. love don in ks --- DonThis is an excellent amount of information! At least to folks that can read the whole thing. Of course, here is the statement I hate Patients with liver cancer have a limited life span regardless of treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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