Hello

[Guest guest]

Wow this group has been so busy since I was away. I am happy to see

so many new girls posting too, awesome! I got home from my trip on

Sunday but then had to work and stuff so I have been super biz and

not enough time to write much. We had a fantastic time in California

though I am a bit tired. We were so busy everyday, squeezing allot of

things into the trip and with 5 kids it was active I tell ya! Ha,

anyhow I just wanted to comment on the brain fog, wow when I read all

of your descriptions it brough it all back to me how miserable I was

when I was so sick. Sometimes I think i actually forget how bad it

was now that it is gone.Anyhow, it was def not depression to anyone

thinking that is the answer. I had it bad and trust me I wanted so

desperately to keep the implants that when the 1st Dr I saw said I

was depressed I was more than willing to take the anti depressants

and give them time to kick in, I tried all the newest best ones with

supposed less side effects and not one helped me at all, in fact I

would say they just made me feel worse, they made me even more spacey

and more sick than I was already. I even stayed on some of them a

good 3 months to see if it would help, but it never did. I tried

Celexa, Wellbutrin, lexapro, and serzone, and none of them worked!

EVER. So no I don't believe I had clinical depression at all, it

seemed like messing with the chemicals in my brain just made the

brain fog or whatever it was worse. I had an MRI and it was normal,

in fact other than my ana all my tests were always normal. I was

depressed in many ways yes, for sure, but not 1st, the sickness came

and that was followed by the depression over the illness, not the

other way around. It should have been an exciting happy time in my

life, things were all really starting to look up for me, I had

finally got the boobs I was wanting, I was newly single and starting

to date, I was in the prime of my life, but one day I started getting

achy, the next day I was dizzy, and then it all just never went away.

I kept thinking too that if I could just sleep it would feel better,

or having that extra cup of coffee to wake up, it just never worked.

I never felt better, it never eased till much after explant for

me.The sunglass thing that Patty mentioned really caught my attention

too because I also had that, you felt like the light was too bright

but when you would put on sunglasses it made it too dark, so I too

was constantly putting them on, taking them off, I could not get it

right! It was crazy. I remember looking down the long halls of the

hospital where I worked and everything was blurry and crazy looking,

like i was high on some crazy drugs, it was the weirdest feeling in

the world!I also realized that florescent lights made it worse, and

would have to literally run through the grocery store to buy

groceries because it made me feel like i was trippin on LSD or

something. NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD ME WHAT THIS IS THAT CAUSES THIS. I

have no idea of the actual physical cause that makes the brain get

like this, and I have never had a good answer. I have theories, but

none of them are for sure. I think that the toxins released into the

body do something to the chemistry of the brain. I also know that

yeast can release ethanol into the body, and that can make you feel

intoxicated, so maybe it is both those things. When I spoke with Dr

Fengs office they made it clear that neurological issues were pretty

common in implant illness. Anyhow, whatever it was I can say that it

is gone now. I think since explant and since about 6-12 months of

healing I have only experienced very mild brain fog a few times. Once

after flying on a plain, and maybe a few other times of over doing or

not enough sleep. Also some sleep meds like trazadone make me spacey.

So the depression thing I do not believe is what we are talking

about. I too had my eyes checked when I was at the peak of my illness

and they were normal I was told. I have good eyes and now they seem

totaly fine. The thing was I could tell it was not really my eyes

anyhow, it was something deeper if that makes any sense.

Anyhow, I not too happy to say that I am experiencing heel pain again

in my left foot, so tomorrow I am going to see about adjusting my

orthotic. I just don't know why I cannot seem to permanently kick

this darn heel thing. I do know that I overdid the walking on my trip

so that may be a part of it too.

Other than that I am good, just tired is all.

hugs to every one and esp the newbies