Guest guest Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Thanks Don and yes you make sense. My husband is not a talker so it some times is a guessing game or a pulling teeth thing to try and figure out where he is at. I will keep trying, just cannot wait to get through Friday, I think once I know at least where we will end up going it will be better. I am so bad with uncertainty. Sorry your lady walked that is not cool. Don I also had my gallbladder removed and have had awful problems with food. I had a very unusual experience the other day and some very good advice at a health store. I had gotten to the point of not being able to eat anything and was a bit scared as I was getting weak, I think because of the issues with my husband my nerves were absolutely taking it out on my stomach. I will send you an email tomorrow. Don, you always help and your input is always valued and appreciated. Diane > > > > > Hi Diane > I feel your pain and uncertainty. > And yes, your making alot of sence. > I am going to give you don's thoughts, if that is ok. > > I havent managed to treat yet, so I cannot share with you my own personal experiance on treatment. > I havent been a caregiver much either. > But I have listened to 100's of people in this, and other medical groups tell their step-by-step storys. > > You may have also heard me state that I think that a caregiver's job may be almost as rough as the patient that they care for. > Each faces a health crisis from different angles, and that is the only difference. > > Diane, you are in a very unique position in many ways. > - You love your man, and he needs that one security right now more than anything else. > I know because my lady threw me out the door soon after I was diagnosed, and that, on top of the HCV, just about did me in. > I really really really needed her support. > > - Your man is scared shitless Diane, [please excuse my french]. > I bet his mind is a blur of thoughts and fears. [dying, sickness, losing you, money, his manhood, etc] > He very much needs you to mediate for him, both at the doctors office, and at home. > He needs your strength and understanding very badly. > You have done wonderful so far, in his behalf. > You have shown true love. > > - Diane, you are the one who is comming to the group, and researching for him. > All this knowledge will be a major player when it comes time for him to treat. > You know about the possible treatment sides, the drinking of water, meds he can take to help him, foods that he needs to eat, and so much more. > All this knowledge will help you - help him. > > - He might be really sick Diane, during treatment. > He might not, because theres no way to know ahead of time. > His head might change, and he might take out his suffering and frustration on you. > If this does happen, please keep in mind that its not him speaking - its the situation. > Keep in mind that he loves you as much as ever, and always will. > > - You know, I feel that bottling thoughts and feelings up, is not real helpful between 2 people. > The other person may just need those answers, and thoughts. > I would suggest that you both try to talk about whatever your thinking. > Share as much as you can, often, so that you both are on the same page. > It will help to relieve the fears, and questions, and build hope and support in both of you. > It will let him AND you, know that this disease is a 2-way street between you two. > > Diane, I dont know if what I have said makes any sence to you or not. > I pray to God that I have helped some. > I am always here in the group, and you are more than welcome to email me privately also. > I will be more than happy to just listen, and/or share don's thoughts. > > Try to relax, and not cross any bridges before you get to them. > Take it one day at a time. > You ARE on the right track. > > love > don in ks > > > > > > From: dianedellicarpini <dellcar9@...> > Subject: [ ] nervous > > Date: Monday, March 28, 2011, 9:11 AM > > > Hi, First I want to say that it was good to read that Donna was doing ok with treatment and still working. I have been very scared of treatment for my husband. I think that the people who post the most are those that have a hard time with treatment so it all becomes a bit lopsided. I would love to hear from others that have not had major problems too. > We are going to the Hep doctor on Friday and I am incredibly anxious. I have to hide my feelings from my husband, I don't want him to know how scared I am of him having to do the treatment. I have a hard time with anxiety and have, as my daughter says , self isolated, just going to these appointments with him has been hard. I feel like such a jerk to have these issues when it is he that has to deal with the virus. I wish that he would ask questions and advocate for himself but it doesn't seem to be in him so I do it. I guess it bothers me because I don't want to make the decisions for him, he has to make them but if I hadn't questioned the first doc we saw he would have gone blindly along with the guy. I don't know if I am making sense here just don't know how to walk the line in this. > Don I am so jealous that you have had warm days, it has been running ten degrees below normal here and I still have a bunch of snow in the yard. > > > > ------------------------------------ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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