Is it smote or smite thine enemies?

[Guest guest]

I need an editor that's for sure. I also called " The Maker's Plan " the Maker's

" Diet " this morning and mispelled Leviticus. Fortunately the Mercury

Retrograde that has been messing with us is ending today.

For those also confused (and in case it isn't in the book and because it is

TGIF), here are a few more Levitican Rules and Regs for your edification:

On her radio show, Dr Schlesinger said that, as

an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to

Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The

following response is an open letter to Dr. , penned by a US resident,

which was posted on the Internet.

Dear Dr. :

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have

learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as

many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual

lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states

it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of

God's Law and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing

odor for the Lord - Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the

odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus

21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her

period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I

tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female,

provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine

claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2.

The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated

to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination -

Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees'

of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect

in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have

to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around

their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How

should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me

unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different

crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two

different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse

and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of

getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn't we

just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people

who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable

expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again

for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,