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Don't know what to say, , except I'm sorry!

Love,

In a message dated 09/07/2001 9:33:18 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

LINDA.VELLUCCI@... writes:

<<

girls, I cannot even begin to talk about my mother and the horror stories

from as far back as I can remember. In my group therapy for women with

eating disorders ALL women are very, very successful business women and all

of them are crushed in seconds by a disapproving gesture from their mothers,

hence the food issues.

At 42 years old, after 20 years of therapy, six months ago, I threw in the

towel with trying to be good enough for her to " like " me. I grieve for the

lost mother that I'll never have but part of me is very relieved, the

struggle is over, I lost the battle but I won the war, my autonomy.

>>

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,

Substitute " father " for, " mother, " and you have me down to a T. I

know how that is, and can fully identify!

The best gift I got from therapy was to make peace with the fact that

I cannot, no matter how hard I try, control of influence another

person's actions/feelings/reactions towards me. I can, however,

decide how I'll allow it to affect me... and the power it has over my

life. My father is a controller, and the best thing I ever did was

to give back to him everything in my life he used to control my

feelings... including my '56 Ford pickup... *sigh* It was worth it!!

*Hugs* to you... Congrats in claiming your autonomy! Isn't it

great?!?!

Jenn

Vellucci <LINDA.VELLUCCI@M...> wrote:

> girls, I cannot even begin to talk about my mother and the horror

stories

> from as far back as I can remember. In my group therapy for women

with

> eating disorders ALL women are very, very successful business women

and all

> of them are crushed in seconds by a disapproving gesture from their

mothers,

> hence the food issues.

> At 42 years old, after 20 years of therapy, six months ago, I threw

in the

> towel with trying to be good enough for her to " like " me. I grieve

for the

> lost mother that I'll never have but part of me is very relieved,

the

> struggle is over, I lost the battle but I won the war, my autonomy.

>

>

> Re: Hello

>

> Lara,

> That relationship sounds like my mom and I!!! She also came to my

> surgery, but later admitted it was only because my brother told her

to

> (she is crazy about my brother). My mother has been going off the

> deep

> end with me for many, many years and she just told me she hates and

> despises me, I told her I love her and she told me to " shut up " and

she

> " did not want to hear it " ... I pray for her and our relationship

daily

> as

> well. She is a sick woman who seems to get worse as I try to

improve

> myself. God will take care of everything, and I cannot deal with

this

> any longer, I have turned it over to Him to handle. Strangely

enough,

> after she told me how she felt I was able to let go and stop trying

so

> hard to get her approval. Poor thing, she is totally unable to

meet any

> of my emotional needs as far as nurturing or being maternal. I now

> understand the pressure I placed on her repeated trying to make her

feel

> what she could not and say what she did not feel. Whew what a load

off,

> I can get on with my life and stop spitting into the wind!!!

> Take care and God Bless!!

>

> On Thu, 06 Sep 2001 19:08:34 -0000 BlueEyedDaisy2000@e... writes:

> > Hey fellow MGB'ers,

> > I hope all is well with everyone. I know I have not posted much

or

> >

> > responded a whole lot,but I want to thank those of you who

responded

> >

> > to my weight loss of 145 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I apologies

for

> >

> > not e-mailing as much. Life has been pretty tuff for us for the

last

> >

> > 5 months. I feel bad because each and every one of you are my

> > FAMILY

> > and I have neglected you for too long. There is not much to

report

> >

> > on this end. My brother is out of the hospital and doing

better. I

> >

> > have a severe sinus infection and am out of school for the rest

of

> > the week. My mother has gone off the deep end yet again and she

is

> >

> > on a rampage and it has my name written all over it. For those

of

> > you who do not know, my mother and I do not get along. I have

done

> >

> > everything and I do mean EVERYTHING in my power to bridge the gap

> > between us. I am the only one out of the two of us who is wiling

> > therefore I am making no progress. My mother was there for my

> > surgery and I was very grateful for that, but the day after

surgery

> >

> > she made my life a living HELL until I came home after my staples

> > were removed. I pray daily for our relationship, and because my

> > mother is an athiest it is very hard. I am not making that up,

she

> >

> > told me herself to my face that she was ( I almost had a

heartattack

> >

> > my own mother does not believe in God and yet she goes to Church

and

> >

> > to church functions) anyway, sorry for rambling. I am getting

ready

> >

> > to send you your money Gloria for Danny to eat. I cannot afford

an

> >

> > $11.00 meal for me that I will barely eat, and does not

like

> > barbecue. I also am getting ready to send money to you and

my

> >

> > order. I love you all and we will see ya at the picnic or the

> > Friday

> > dinner if we make it in time. Has the place for dinner or the

get

> > together been made yet? Also, PLEASE I need directions to the

> > Hawthorne Suites and the picninc shelter.

> > Love,

> > Lara Akin

> > November 8, 2000

> > 145 pounds gone FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!

> > 178 pounds gone since the beggining!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

> >

> >

> >

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  • 1 year later...

I think that getting the CI is very stressful. When significant people in

our lives are pushing hard before we are ready, or on the other side, non

supportive, it puts more pressure on us to succeed to the point of being

painful. I can remember those first days of my CI and it was very hard to

hear with it. I would not have wanted the added burden of other peoples

expectations in regard to my success or failure making it harder. I was

fortunate that when I had mine the CI was relatively unknown, and my family

far away so there were no expectations from others to deal with. Now it is

different and lots of people are involved with each individual getting the

CI in the name of support and encouragement. I have to remind myself

constantly that each person needs to make that decision on their own when

they are ready. I am so enthusiastic about my own CI and wish I had a magic

wand to tap each deafened person with the same success that I have

had....which is very unrealistic, but a great dream. Cheers, Ruth

Re: mothers OT

david

ohhh i know my kids do care about me but getting a CI to me anyway

was

a very personal decision not something help up for a vote my kids

since

then have been awesome ... for awhile they forgot i could hear ... and

would

talk like they always did which is to say sometimes it was not all sweet

and

rosy language

boy were they ever surprised to get " caught " sometime i would

frustrate my kids by calling them so i could practice hearing on a phone

.... for a

while it was a lot of " what??? " HUH???? " say it again " although

they did try to bring it to my attention .... that when i call it is

sooooooo

frustrating to them .... LOL but me being the ever so kind and

understanding mom

replied " i don't care if you're frustrated ... Deal with it!!!! cuz i'm

not

stopping " LOL i said for 28 yrs i too was frustrated when i needed to

call

someone and couldn't hear .. now i am working hard to be able to do just

that

one day if you being my kids are frustrated toooo bad lol not

my

problem LOL yep my kids saw the humor in it and did laugh too and i

did

continue to call and yep i did learn to understand speech by phone so that

now i

can and do use the phone without help so david i agree my kids

care

and worry ... just not all the time in the order and/or about the right

thing

but humor is an amazing tool and i use it often

susan

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  • 1 year later...

In a message dated 10/20/04 8:12:23 AM Mountain Daylight Time,

SSRI medications writes:

> for example if ones Mother had left when

> they were a teenager is it possible for the patient to take on the

> identity of the mother and walk away from everything just as the

> mother had done?

>

These behavioral patterns are often repeated in successive generations. It's

sort of like imprinting. Without a raised consciousness people often repeat

the mistakes of their parents, in a host of ways. I'm not sure what Paxil has

to do with this tho. Could you explain?

" Blind Reason "

a novel of pharmaceutical intrigue

Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. It's

Unsafe At Any Dose

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In a message dated 10/20/04 8:12:23 AM Mountain Daylight Time,

SSRI medications writes:

> for example if ones Mother had left when

> they were a teenager is it possible for the patient to take on the

> identity of the mother and walk away from everything just as the

> mother had done?

>

These behavioral patterns are often repeated in successive generations. It's

sort of like imprinting. Without a raised consciousness people often repeat

the mistakes of their parents, in a host of ways. I'm not sure what Paxil has

to do with this tho. Could you explain?

" Blind Reason "

a novel of pharmaceutical intrigue

Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. It's

Unsafe At Any Dose

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think she's saying that the more 'doped up' you are on SSRIs then

the less conscious and the less self aware you are and hence the more

likely to repeat old, unconscious and unresolved trauma patterns from

the past.

> In a message dated 10/20/04 8:12:23 AM Mountain Daylight Time,

> SSRI medications writes:

>

>

> > for example if ones Mother had left when

> > they were a teenager is it possible for the patient to take on

the

> > identity of the mother and walk away from everything just as the

> > mother had done?

> >

> These behavioral patterns are often repeated in successive

generations. It's

> sort of like imprinting. Without a raised consciousness people

often repeat

> the mistakes of their parents, in a host of ways. I'm not sure

what Paxil has

> to do with this tho. Could you explain?

>

>

> " Blind Reason "

> a novel of pharmaceutical intrigue

> Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. It's

> Unsafe At Any Dose

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think she's saying that the more 'doped up' you are on SSRIs then

the less conscious and the less self aware you are and hence the more

likely to repeat old, unconscious and unresolved trauma patterns from

the past.

> In a message dated 10/20/04 8:12:23 AM Mountain Daylight Time,

> SSRI medications writes:

>

>

> > for example if ones Mother had left when

> > they were a teenager is it possible for the patient to take on

the

> > identity of the mother and walk away from everything just as the

> > mother had done?

> >

> These behavioral patterns are often repeated in successive

generations. It's

> sort of like imprinting. Without a raised consciousness people

often repeat

> the mistakes of their parents, in a host of ways. I'm not sure

what Paxil has

> to do with this tho. Could you explain?

>

>

> " Blind Reason "

> a novel of pharmaceutical intrigue

> Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. It's

> Unsafe At Any Dose

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think she's saying that the more 'doped up' you are on SSRIs then

the less conscious and the less self aware you are and hence the more

likely to repeat old, unconscious and unresolved trauma patterns from

the past.

> In a message dated 10/20/04 8:12:23 AM Mountain Daylight Time,

> SSRI medications writes:

>

>

> > for example if ones Mother had left when

> > they were a teenager is it possible for the patient to take on

the

> > identity of the mother and walk away from everything just as the

> > mother had done?

> >

> These behavioral patterns are often repeated in successive

generations. It's

> sort of like imprinting. Without a raised consciousness people

often repeat

> the mistakes of their parents, in a host of ways. I'm not sure

what Paxil has

> to do with this tho. Could you explain?

>

>

> " Blind Reason "

> a novel of pharmaceutical intrigue

> Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. It's

> Unsafe At Any Dose

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think she's saying that the more 'doped up' you are on SSRIs then

the less conscious and the less self aware you are and hence the more

likely to repeat old, unconscious and unresolved trauma patterns from

the past.

> In a message dated 10/20/04 8:12:23 AM Mountain Daylight Time,

> SSRI medications writes:

>

>

> > for example if ones Mother had left when

> > they were a teenager is it possible for the patient to take on

the

> > identity of the mother and walk away from everything just as the

> > mother had done?

> >

> These behavioral patterns are often repeated in successive

generations. It's

> sort of like imprinting. Without a raised consciousness people

often repeat

> the mistakes of their parents, in a host of ways. I'm not sure

what Paxil has

> to do with this tho. Could you explain?

>

>

> " Blind Reason "

> a novel of pharmaceutical intrigue

> Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. It's

> Unsafe At Any Dose

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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  • 1 year later...
Guest guest

Subject: Being a mother

Date: Thu, 16 Feb 2006 22:06:04 +0000

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've

had a baby

S omebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, " Normal, " is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ...

Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ......

Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a " good " mother, your child will " turn out good. "

Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said " good " mothers never raise their voices .

Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a

golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.

Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.

Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing

questions in the books ........

Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery

.......

Somebody never watched her " baby " get on the bus for the first day of

kindergarten.

or on a plane headed for military " boot camp. "

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied

behind her back .......

somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married

Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a

mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ....

Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her

Somebody isn't a mother.

Pass this along to all the " mothers " in your life.

Have a Blessed Day!

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  • 3 years later...
Guest guest

MOTHERS

(From Mommy to Mom to Mother)

Real Mothers don't eat quiche;

They don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils

are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,

filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough

doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what

the vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'

And get their answer when a little

voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth

is not measured by height or years or grade...

It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother ...

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she

carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,

Because that is the doorway to her heart,

The place where love resides..

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,

But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she

shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Please send this to 5 Moms today.

If you don't, nothing bad will happen,

But if you do, something good

Will:

You'll boost a Mother's spirits.

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  • 3 months later...

 

Prayer has the power to change mountains into highways.

Pray as if everything Depended on God;act as if everything depended on you.

From: Ernestine Flakes <ehoneypie@...>

Subject: Fw: FW: Mothers

" demetria bryant " <demetriatx@...>, cynthflakes2@...,

bettiehodge@..., mabc72@..., maximagrayblack@...,

" melody " <msflakes2000@...>, robefla7@..., loansbymikki@...,

" A H " <awh2000_00@...>, fettasanders@..., " sharon buckner "

<ssbuckner@...>

Date: Thursday, August 20, 2009, 10:24 AM

----- Forwarded Message ----

From: Sherlly Brigance <slbrig60@...>

aprelle.ross@...; " , Barbara (wbrb) [Contractor] "

<wbrb@...>; beebop4114@...; Birdola Mayes

<bmay4christ@...>; Betty Attaway <zbla02@...>; brigette hood

<blhood77026@...>; lyne115@...; Charlene

<Charlene@...>; CharleneAuzene <auz6915@...>; Dalena Brigance

<kdbrigance@...>; darline.francis@...; Denna Fantop

<dfanTop@...>; elnora@...; Emisha

<Prettychic0715@...>; Ernestine Flakes <ehoneypie@...>; Derwin

<dquency@...>; Ernestine Flakes <ehoneypie@...>; EuteriaHubbard

<bunny112e@...>; " Chaney, Felecia (Flood Control) "

<Felecia.Chaney@...>; gdimples@...; Sherman

<sandra.sherman@...>; kathy.Gibson@...; Lane

<krim_dela_krim@...>; LENORA YOUNG <younglenora@...>; Martha

Sampson <mjewell@...>; s <missydee67@...>;

MsDel513@...; " Moorman, Peaches " <Peaches.Moorman@...>;

Sheriva <rivahughes@...>; Rose Newhouse <ronew@...>;

" Gaines, " <sgaines@...>; Gaines

<gaines4603@...>; Shamerion Jone <Shamettie@...>; " Chatman,

Sherald Y " <SCHATMA1@...>; timtinettej@...;

TrinetteLarks@...; M [Pitney Bowes]

<lewisym@...>; " , Marie " <Marie.@...>

Sent: Thursday, August 20, 2009 9:13:44 AM

Subject: FW: FW: Mothers

 

 

MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche;

They don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,

filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough

doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what

the vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'

and get their answer when a little

voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth

is not measured by height or years or grade...

It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother...

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she

carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,

because that is the doorway to her heart,

the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,

but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she

shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Please send this to 5 Mom's today.

If you don't, nothing bad will happen,

but if you do, something good

will:

You will boost a Mother spirits.

 

 

 

Stay in the loop and chat with friends, right from your inbox! Learn how!

 

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Prayer has the power to change mountains into highways.

Pray as if everything Depended on God;act as if everything depended on you.

From: Ernestine Flakes <ehoneypie@...>

Subject: Fw: FW: Mothers

" demetria bryant " <demetriatx@...>, cynthflakes2@...,

bettiehodge@..., mabc72@..., maximagrayblack@...,

" melody " <msflakes2000@...>, robefla7@..., loansbymikki@...,

" A H " <awh2000_00@...>, fettasanders@..., " sharon buckner "

<ssbuckner@...>

Date: Thursday, August 20, 2009, 10:24 AM

----- Forwarded Message ----

From: Sherlly Brigance <slbrig60@...>

aprelle.ross@...; " , Barbara (wbrb) [Contractor] "

<wbrb@...>; beebop4114@...; Birdola Mayes

<bmay4christ@...>; Betty Attaway <zbla02@...>; brigette hood

<blhood77026@...>; lyne115@...; Charlene

<Charlene@...>; CharleneAuzene <auz6915@...>; Dalena Brigance

<kdbrigance@...>; darline.francis@...; Denna Fantop

<dfanTop@...>; elnora@...; Emisha

<Prettychic0715@...>; Ernestine Flakes <ehoneypie@...>; Derwin

<dquency@...>; Ernestine Flakes <ehoneypie@...>; EuteriaHubbard

<bunny112e@...>; " Chaney, Felecia (Flood Control) "

<Felecia.Chaney@...>; gdimples@...; Sherman

<sandra.sherman@...>; kathy.Gibson@...; Lane

<krim_dela_krim@...>; LENORA YOUNG <younglenora@...>; Martha

Sampson <mjewell@...>; s <missydee67@...>;

MsDel513@...; " Moorman, Peaches " <Peaches.Moorman@...>;

Sheriva <rivahughes@...>; Rose Newhouse <ronew@...>;

" Gaines, " <sgaines@...>; Gaines

<gaines4603@...>; Shamerion Jone <Shamettie@...>; " Chatman,

Sherald Y " <SCHATMA1@...>; timtinettej@...;

TrinetteLarks@...; M [Pitney Bowes]

<lewisym@...>; " , Marie " <Marie.@...>

Sent: Thursday, August 20, 2009 9:13:44 AM

Subject: FW: FW: Mothers

 

 

MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche;

They don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,

filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough

doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what

the vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'

and get their answer when a little

voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth

is not measured by height or years or grade...

It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother...

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she

carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,

because that is the doorway to her heart,

the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,

but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she

shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Please send this to 5 Mom's today.

If you don't, nothing bad will happen,

but if you do, something good

will:

You will boost a Mother spirits.

 

 

 

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