RE: ever regret giving in

[Guest guest]

This is one of my soapbox issues but I promise not to stand on it too long,

okay. As a 36 year vet to JRA I have always said let the children be children

just as my own mother did with me. As a child my JRA was much worse than it

has been as an adult, physically, mentally and emotionally but thank God I

had/have the best mom a JRA kid could have (or so I think but I am

biased...LOL). Mom always allowed me to be a kid. I rode a two wheeler when my

friends

did, I went skating, running, rode my bike, played in the park and this was in

the era of prescribing bed rest as a primary form of treatment. As a teen I

got into the health craze and went jogging and joined the gym. By my early

20's I was pushing weight that my healthy counterparts could not do (432 lbs

with my legs).

Why did I do these things? Because I could! And because I wanted to! I

always felt a need and sometimes still do (believe that) to push myself. I think

this is a common trait for someone growing up with a hardship.

Did I hurt or ever wish I had not done some of things I pushed myself to do?

I would be lying if I said never BUT at the same time I am so glad I have

had this amazing stubborn streak because I really feel it has pulled me through

so much. I recall as an 8 year old hearing my doc tell my mom I would be

confined to a wheelchair by age 12 and the only times I have been in a chair is

when I had surgery or gave birth and they made me ride in the chair down to

the door for my ride home! I remember hearing the doc explain to my parents

that dating, marrying and having children would not likely happen for a person

" like me " . I dated, got married and have 2 great kids and yes, I had them! I

did not adopt as so many people inquire. I am where I am today because I

pushed myself and I know if you asked my mom today does she ever regret giving

in

she would quickly and with a smile say, never. This is the one thing I thank

mom for all the time...... I would suggest let your child be a child, let

your teen be a teen and your young adult be a young adult. It is tough to see

them hurt but remember they are doing what they want and if they are hurting

they will learn boundaries. They will learn to listen to their bodies and the

outcome will much more outweigh the outcome of stopping them all the

time.....just my two cents and even though I am not suppose to jump I will

quickly

jump off my soapbox and wish all a great day!

Hang tight and Hang tough!

Donna

[Guest guest]

Donna,

That was well said :-). I have let be a child. I never limited

her ecept for the boys part lolol. But she has been out on Double dates lolol.

That would have been my choice even if JRA wasn't involved. lolol. I feel

100% with letting be a child and having a childhood with the best

protection I could have gave her.

Carey,

In this day and time. You have to protect your child from everything.

Never hold a child back as to what they want to do. I have looked at it like

this. What if didn't have JRA what would I have done different. Really

nothing. I wanted her to have a child hood. Go out and play and have fun,

experience God's creations. Climbing a tree this one was hard cause of

going at this at 3 and 4 years old. lolol. I even got a mattress and put in

under the tree just in case she fell out. It was something she liked doing. She

couldn't go to high in a tree until my father in law left the leaning on the

house and she climbed right up it. I paniced on this one lolol. got

out there with the rest of the kids and had fun. Even though nights would be

complaining of legs hurting and back hurting. She got out there playing

football, baseball, basketball, skating, bike riding, you name it she has had a

good childhood besides the JRA. Let a child be a child and experience life. It

will help them later in life. I am glad Donna's Mom let her experience a

childhood besides dealing with the JRA. Donna has overcome a lot and she is a

ICON

as well as Rusty and all who are Adults now with JRA.

Is it hard being a Parent? Yes either way it goes. Healthy child or one

with a disease. I do believe those of us who deal with a child with a Disease

see life in a totally different way. We see the little things that mean alot.

If you want let the child go for it and be there when they need you. They

will learn as they get older. Mom was there when I needed her and she allowed

me to do what I wanted and caught me when I fell. Skinned knee clean it up

kiss it make it better and let them go try it again. :-) With stitches hold

their hand watch each stitch go in and hold them. When something hurts cuddle

them hold them and always say I Love You so much and a kiss. No matter what

they are kids. Be honest with them is the key.

Robbin

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much Donna. That's very encouraging. I need to stop babying my

" baby " boy and let him be the young man he's growing up be. Most of all I need

to trust him to know when it's time to stop.

*HUGS* and have a great day.

Carey, mom to Ben

---------------------------------

goes everywhere you do. Get it on your phone.

[Guest guest]

Quick update- after all the debate, pros and cons about what to let

the kids do, and when to rein em in- last Friday afternoon, at

Bayly's regular twice-weekly Hydrotherapy session, we were roused on

by one of the Physiotherapists for Bayly laughing too loudly!

Can you imagine that?

I try so hard to make sure that the exercises, splints, swimming

sessions, etc etc, are fun enough for a little 4 year old to do it

willingly. And then we get told off for laughing too much!

*SIGH*

Jo

Bayly, 4, Extended Oligo

> This is one of my soapbox issues but I promise not to stand on it

too long, > okay. As a 36 year vet to JRA I have always said let the

children be children > just as my own mother did with me. As a child

my JRA was much worse than it > has been as an adult, physically,

mentally and emotionally but thank God I > had/have the best mom a

JRA kid could have (or so I think but I am > biased...LOL). Mom

always allowed me to be a kid. I rode a two wheeler when my friends

> did, I went skating, running, rode my bike, played in the park and

this was in > the era of prescribing bed rest as a primary form of

treatment. As a teen > got into the health craze and went jogging and

joined the gym. By my early > 20's I was pushing weight that my

healthy counterparts could not do (432 lbs > with my legs).

> Why did I do these things? Because I could! And because I wanted

to! I > always felt a need and sometimes still do (believe that) to

push myself. I think this is a common trait for someone growing up

with a hardship. > Did I hurt or ever wish I had not done some of

things I pushed myself to do?> I would be lying if I said never BUT

at the same time I am so glad I have > had this amazing stubborn

streak because I really feel it has pulled me through > so much. I

recall as an 8 year old hearing my doc tell my mom I would be >

confined to a wheelchair by age 12 and the only times I have been in

a chair is when I had surgery or gave birth and they made me ride in

the chair down to > the door for my ride home! I remember hearing

the doc explain to my parents > that dating, marrying and having

children would not likely happen for a person > " like me " . I dated,

got married and have 2 great kids and yes, I had them! I> did not

adopt as so many people inquire. I am where I am today because I

> pushed myself and I know if you asked my mom today does she ever

regret giving in > she would quickly and with a smile say, never.

This is the one thing I thank > mom for all the time...... I would

suggest let your child be a child, let> your teen be a teen and your

young adult be a young adult. It is tough to see > them hurt but

remember they are doing what they want and if they are hurting

> they will learn boundaries. They will learn to listen to their

bodies and the > outcome will much more outweigh the outcome of

stopping them all the > time.....just my twocents and even though I

am not suppose to jump I will quickly > jump off my soapbox and wish

all a great day!> Hang tight and Hang tough!> Donna