Re: Re: Tea, Change and How

March 19, 2005

In a message dated 3/19/2005 1:52:19 PM Eastern Standard Time,

nieema0@... writes:

> Yes, the gentle transition is the best for sure!!!

>

I have a good capacity to accept change, generally. My husband does not. I

have learned through years of on-the-job training in change-ownership that go

slow and make little corrections that will last.

I heard a speaker once who changed my mindset forever. She said... " just do

something better. "

She went on to say..start with where you are, then slowly change each habit

to something better. If you are eating hamburgers at Mac's 5 days a week,

go two days to 's salad bar instead. When that change is in place, then

substitute bottled water for the Coke, etc. and then keep going forward to

something better.

That idea seems attainable to everyone I have ever spoken to.

When someone is sick and ends up here, they are scared, hurting and often in

bad shape. Anything, even brushing their teeth is a big deal. At least it has

been for me when I have been in that shape.

I think the first and most healing thing we can offer each other is

compassion. That is not to say tough love should not be administered after a

little

while. But in the beginning compassion and help just getting the boat stable and

the fear under control.

Mark is a perfect example. He is very motivated to change everything in his

life, but he doesnt feel good and has been through an scary emotional ordeal.

Change will be beneficial to him if he can SUSTAIN it. That is a tall order.

Especially where he is now -- not too much energy, not sure what resources are

available at the grocery, etc and he is overloaded with information at a time

when its hard to process all that info.

We are veterans and used to making little course corrections when we feel a

grump in our innards. That takes time and experience that he lacks right now.

He will get there but his to-do list is long and his energy short.

I try to remember that for myself and others when any of us are embarking on

new behavior.

" JUST DO SOMETHING (anything) BETTER "

No lecture, just an explanation since I think it is an incredibly helpful

idea I was given and I want to pass it forward.

(Atlanta)

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