Re: spouse involvement?

[Guest guest]

Hi :

I think it's just that we as moms know about this stuff. And yes for a lot is

probably does fall on the mom. My husband does not have a clue about the meds

Hannah takes (I know this from our last ER visit for her asthma). So while

sometimes it is inconvenient for me to take her I would not have it any other

way. Mike does not always remember all the details either (he comes when he

can, but not to every appt). He prefers I go too because I just have more

medical knowledge than he does. Its good your husband wants to learn. Maybe

next time send a list of meds along with them, because Hannah takes so many meds

for all her health problems, I never go to appts without her med list.

Hope this helps. I'm so glad your husband is involved I know some on the list

do not have the support that every family needs.

Beth & Hannah, 11, unspecified arthritis w/hypermobility; asthma; Gerd;

migraines

Sending prayers & happy thoughts,

Beth :-)

spouse involvement?

I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts are

a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye appts.

and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about the

medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this is

just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group is

composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with this

and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not alone

in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

& Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

[Guest guest]

Both of you need to carry in your wallet a list of Grant's meds and keep it

updated. That way you always know and there is no excuse for not knowing.

My husband is much the same way. He is supportive, but largely clueless when it

comes to knowing all what is going on. One thing you need to start working on is

getting Grant, even at his young age, to learn to answer more questions and know

more about his illness. The sooner you start, the better. Just my 2 cents.

and Rob 18 JAS

spouse involvement?

> I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I

> had my

> husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our

> appts are

> a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least

> a

> half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty

> taking

> all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye

> appts.

> and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things

> to

> me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize

> how

> uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about

> the

> medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He

> didn't even

> know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming

> that this is

> just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group

> is

> composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal

> with this

> and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send

> your

> husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm

> not alone

> in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to

> learn

> more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages

> upon

> pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

>

> & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I honestly think the Mom's are more involved and know how to ask questions

to understand. Men are the ones who just do what the Wife says and that's

it.

It has taken me several years to make my hubby more aware of 's

issues. The gulit set in with him and he said I do not know what to do for her

if she flares. He can sit and watch the gross movies but when it comes to

he backs off and can not even handle her getting a shot or blood drawn.

Today I have to say he knows alittle more about 's meds but if I

am here he will say she needs something for the muscles or her joints are

hurting. has gotten older and she would rather her Dad not go with her.

So he has lost that chance to understand what the Drs tell.

What I did though to make him see what it is like with . I had to

go off and was not feeling well. I had him watch her. OHHHHHHHHHHH he

tried so hard to get out of this. lololol. I said no I have errands to run

and you can just sit and watch her. Really I did not have anything to do but

to prove a point I left and went out for several hours. lololol. He had to

learn on his own.

I had prior sat him down and told him this is for that and this one is

for this. It was mumbo jumbo to him.

I know a couple of Dad's on this list who know more than the wife about JA

and asks questions. I applauf them too. :-).

But today in this house If I go off and is at home. My Son will

help her but that is it. He bee lines to the phone and calls me. lolololol. If

hubby is there he will also say ok lets get you to a bed and I will call

your Mom. I can tell him what to do and he will help that way. He says there's

no way he could remember which pill to give and when as I can do this on the

phone. I have 's meds in a special place each I can tell you it is the

2nd bottle and on it the name and color of pill. Or if it is another med I do

the same thing.

They got me one night as I was asleep and could not wake up enough to get

her meds for her. I told hubby where to look and which bottle to get for her.

I told him what color the pill was and backed me up on it lololol.

Dad's are scared as they need to do more reading than talking. They also

need to spend time with another Dad with a child with JA. This is great to

get the Dad's involved.

Today My hubby is not scared to keep a eye on and if he had no

choice to take her to the Dr he would not understand what the Dr said. He would

tell the Dr to write it down for him. Which would be a goof Idea to do if

hubby took the child to the Dr. Have him to get the Dr or nurse to write stuff

down so you can read it. Or email the Dr and ask about the visit.

Robbin

**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.

http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489

[Guest guest]

,

is right. could answer more questions than her Dad. She even

could tell the Paramedica what her Dad's meds were and he was totally

clueless. lololol. Learn them young and it sure helps. Since was on Meds

and some were switched many times. I made a list of her Allergies and meds she

had taken. Inside of her purse or back pack was a list of meds and allergies

just in case of a emergency. I did this to hubby's wallet as he may be out of

it and someone needs to know so in his wallet is his meds list. Another good

idea is to go to Walmart and get the blank Medic bracelets and then go have

engraved on the back Please look in Wallet or look in dash board or look in

back pack for Emergency information. This has helped ALOT with the family. My

sister carried hers on her key ring and it says Diabetic please look in my

purse. I made everyone put something in their wallet or purse. Emergency

numbers

are the best as well as the Dr's phone number.

Paramedics look in the wallet for information on the person if they are

not awake. So it would be a good idea to do this. Put your child's information

in hubby's wallet and Hubby's information to. You also do this.

Robbin

**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.

http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489

[Guest guest]

I understand completly...My husband Greg is also clueless. When we first took

our daughter to Dupont he just stood there and could not answer any of the

questions, he has gotten better but I pretty sure its a guy thing

snooksmama@... wrote:

Both of you need to carry in your wallet a list of Grant's meds and keep it

updated. That way you always know and there is no excuse for not knowing.

My husband is much the same way. He is supportive, but largely clueless when it

comes to knowing all what is going on. One thing you need to start working on is

getting Grant, even at his young age, to learn to answer more questions and know

more about his illness. The sooner you start, the better. Just my 2 cents.

and Rob 18 JAS

spouse involvement?

> I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I

> had my

> husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our

> appts are

> a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least

> a

> half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty

> taking

> all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye

> appts.

> and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things

> to

> me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize

> how

> uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about

> the

> medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He

> didn't even

> know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming

> that this is

> just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group

> is

> composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal

> with this

> and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send

> your

> husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm

> not alone

> in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to

> learn

> more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages

> upon

> pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

>

> & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am very fortunate my husband is very involved he is at every appt

and every procedure, but he has always been this way ever since we

have been together. He went to all of my OB appts and when the kids

are sick he is here with them and takes them to the MD if I can not

or goes along with us.

> Both of you need to carry in your wallet a list of Grant's meds

and keep it updated. That way you always know and there is no excuse

for not knowing.

> My husband is much the same way. He is supportive, but largely

clueless when it comes to knowing all what is going on. One thing

you need to start working on is getting Grant, even at his young

age, to learn to answer more questions and know more about his

illness. The sooner you start, the better. Just my 2 cents.

> and Rob 18 JAS

>

> spouse involvement?

>

>

> > I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I

> > had my

> > husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our

> > appts are

> > a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least

> > a

> > half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty

> > taking

> > all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> > some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye

> > appts.

> > and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things

> > to

> > me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize

> > how

> > uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about

> > the

> > medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He

> > didn't even

> > know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming

> > that this is

> > just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group

> > is

> > composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal

> > with this

> > and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send

> > your

> > husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm

> > not alone

> > in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to

> > learn

> > more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages

> > upon

> > pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

> >

> > & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think it is good that your husband is willing to take your son to the

doctor.  I do not think that my ex husband has ever taken any of the kids to

the doctor. And with five kids let me tell you I have made alot of trips to see

the doctor. Be patient with your husband and give him a list of the med's he

does need to be familiar with them even if he is not headed to the doctors

office. I do not think no matter how often I told my ex that he would remember

or even think that it was important to bother with.  I am so often amazed by

reading the posts of the dads that really are involved with their kids and their

medical issues. The one thing about this is that all the medical stuff has so

much " detail " stuff and men are not detailed people. 

Veri & Jaye 13 poly

spouse involvement?

I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts are

a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye appts.

and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about the

medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this is

just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group is

composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with this

and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not alone

in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

& Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

________________________________________________________________________

More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -

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[Guest guest]

Hi -

I can totally relate to this. My husband is the greatest guy... but when it

comes to keeping tabs on all of the doctor's appointments and records, he

doesn't have a clue. In the six and a half years since Caitlin's diagnosis, he

has been to only a few appointments. Mainly because over the years, I have

scaled back on my working hours in order to have the time for all the appts,

physical therapy, occ. therapy and general kids stuff while he has worked more

hours and become the bread winner svereal times over me now.

Last summer, Caitlin had an appointment with a new GI and it conflicted with

an important meeting I had. We had waited weeks to get in to see this doc, so I

asked Dave to take Caitlin. I was worried he would be offended when I typed up

a three page list of notes and medical history for him to take (though I stopped

short of pinning it to his shirt ). But he just appreciated it....And just like

you, when he got home, I had more questions than he could answer.

You've had some great responses though... great idea for him to carry a typed

list of meds in the wallet. And if it helps at all, my husband's attitude

changed quite a bit after we attended the JA conference in 2004. Even if I'm

still the one going to all of the appts. and taking care of the meds... he has a

much greater appreciation for it all. And he's a great supporter of time I

spend researching, volunteering for the AF etc.... because of what he learned

there and the people he met.

Hope things are looking good for Grant!

Best hopes-

Colleen (mom to Caitlin, 9, systemic)

toivonen4 <toivonen4@...> wrote:

I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts are

a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye appts.

and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about the

medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this is

just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group is

composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with this

and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not alone

in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

& Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

I think this going to hurt to say but he know what I have told him and he has

done the walk. But he spends more time on research of finances than what is

going on with Jra. I don't feel alone, very supportive. But if we had a trivia

on Ra questions he would be lost in the dust. Hurts to say. Terri and Aubrey

spouse involvement?

I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts are

a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye appts.

and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about the

medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this is

just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group is

composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with this

and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not alone

in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

& Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

[Guest guest]

This doesn't help the involvement issue. My husband is very involved

with the kids' care and is always at the appointments, as I don't

drive! lol However, as far as listing meds goes, I do have a tip I

find helps a great deal. I have a card in 's wallett on which I

have listed: his name, his birthdate, his diagnosis, his meds with

current doses, his ped and rheumy with their contact info. This makes

giving each dr info much easier, as it is spelled out. If I can get him

to carry his wallett, it is there in case of emergency, but he

frequently wears pants without pockets, so it is more often in my

husband's belt pack. does wear a medic alert bracelet with his

diagnosis and that he is taking prednisome.

Misty & (9, systemic)

[Guest guest]

I felt that way as well, until we went to our first AJAO meeting. My

husband is very intelligent, and he really enjoyed listening at the

conference. I feel like we can have an intelligent conversation

regarding our daughters health care because he is educating himself.

Give him Arthritis Today magazine, and educate himself that way. There

are some other books out there, like raising a kids with Arthritis put

out by the Arthritis foundation. Maybe that could be his way of

participating in your Childs health care. I think every mom on this

list has felt that way one time in this journey.

and Allie (11poly)

________________________________

From: [mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Terri Berube

Sent: Wednesday, January 09, 2008 9:11 PM

Subject: Re: spouse involvement?

I think this going to hurt to say but he know what I have told him and

he has done the walk. But he spends more time on research of finances

than what is going on with Jra. I don't feel alone, very supportive. But

if we had a trivia on Ra questions he would be lost in the dust. Hurts

to say. Terri and Aubrey

spouse involvement?

I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts are

a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye appts.

and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about the

medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this is

just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group is

composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with this

and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not alone

in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

& Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

[Guest guest]

Thanks soooooo much for all the responses! I'm not alone in this.

I am in the process of typing up a card listing Grant's medications

and contact info. That is something I hadn't thought of but is very

important.

Thanks! & Grant/10 PsA/Uveitis

>

> I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

> husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts

are

> a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

> half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

> all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye

appts.

> and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

> me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

> uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about

the

> medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

> know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this

is

> just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group

is

> composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with

this

> and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

> husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not

alone

> in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

> more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

> pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

>

> & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Since some of you appear to be on a slightly sexist trip I thought I'd give

you my penny's worth. After over 12 years of dealing with a son who has

systemic JIA I still manage all the main issues around his care even though

I now live over 150 miles away for work reasons. Not all men are the same!

Also, as we males generally still have the main family breadwinner role and

therefore have to focus rather more on work (so much for sexual equality), I

feel it's a little unfair to judge all male partners like this.

On a more positive note, I also found that a simple printed spreadsheet with

medicine, treatment and contact details (local docs, physio, school,

hospitals etc) extremely useful when my son's disease was most active. It

also helps for those times when your partner deputises for you. Thank

goodness for the new medicines available now and that those days are largely

gone now, the spreadsheet (like the wheelchair, still gathering dust) hasn't

been used in years!

I hope all and of course your kids are well.

Oliver

@Georgina, Just in case you're reading, ALOHA! Long time... Love to you and

Josh and as always, thanks for all the research.

Re: spouse involvement?

Thanks soooooo much for all the responses! I'm not alone in this.

I am in the process of typing up a card listing Grant's medications

and contact info. That is something I hadn't thought of but is very

important.

Thanks! & Grant/10 PsA/Uveitis

>

> I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

> husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts

are

> a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

> half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

> all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye

appts.

> and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

> me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

> uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about

the

> medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

> know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this

is

> just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group

is

> composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with

this

> and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

> husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not

alone

> in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

> more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

> pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

>

> & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Oliver. I do agree with you. My husband could not take off work to

get our son to the dr as easily as I could. So he would listen when I

explained things, but because he did not have to deal with the drs

directly, he did not always remember the exact meds and all the details.

He would come to the dr as often as he could, but as his job keeps a

roof over our heads and he does not get paid for days off (I do get paid

vacation days) it was always more important to me that he go to work. As

long as one of us is completely up to date and my dh is willing to

listen to me when I discuss things, this always worked well for our

family.

I am glad to read the wheelchair is gathering dust! Sounds like your son

is doing well. Michele ( 20, spondy)

Re: spouse involvement?

Thanks soooooo much for all the responses! I'm not alone in this.

I am in the process of typing up a card listing Grant's medications

and contact info. That is something I hadn't thought of but is very

important.

Thanks! & Grant/10 PsA/Uveitis

>

> I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

> husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts

are

> a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

> half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

> all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye

appts.

> and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

> me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

> uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about

the

> medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

> know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this

is

> just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group

is

> composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with

this

> and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

> husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not

alone

> in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

> more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

> pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

>

> & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Michele,

Thanks for the support, I was worried I might get flamed! I too, do not get

any paid holiday at all, so to take a day off from work costs, especially as

my other half doesn't work.

Regarding the wheelchair gathering dust, thankfully infliximab did the trick

for us. Hope you and find some improvement soon too.

Love!

Re: spouse involvement?

Thanks soooooo much for all the responses! I'm not alone in this.

I am in the process of typing up a card listing Grant's medications

and contact info. That is something I hadn't thought of but is very

important.

Thanks! & Grant/10 PsA/Uveitis

>

> I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

> husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts

are

> a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

> half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

> all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye

appts.

> and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

> me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

> uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about

the

> medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

> know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this

is

> just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group

is

> composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with

this

> and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

> husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not

alone

> in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

> more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

> pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

>

> & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

>

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I know there have been a lot of replies on this one, so I apologize if

I am restating other posts.

It can be frustrating when one spouse (husband or wife) isn't up to

date and on the same page with regards to information. But I think we

have to remember that some of us are good at some things and others

are good at other things. I have the teachers and doctors down, while

my husband has the finances and car. If I had to have work done on our

car, I couldn't begin to tell you the last time it had an oil change.

My husband, on the other hand, couldn't begin to name 1/2 of the

medications Andy is on. Sure, it can be frustrating to me, but I'm

sure he rolls his eyes just as much when it comes to other stuff that

I do wrong.

I created a sheet that has all of Andy's medication, dosage, doctors

and phone numbers, pharmacy, SSN, insurance info, etc. all on one

page. My mother, my father, the school, my husband and I all have this

same info on file and we carry it with us. No one can be expected to

remember everything, so better to be prepared than at a loss.

I can relate to having more questions after the visit when my husband

takes Andy to the doctor. I've just decided that is one thing that I'm

better at, so I do it. I know it isn't always possible, so I make a

list of questions and have him ask the doctor if I can't be there.

None of this is a perfect situation, but we're human, and we can only

do what we can do.

Maybe these ideas will help.

Wishing everyone health and happiness.

(Andy, age 9, psoriatic)

>

> I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

> husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts are

> a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

> half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

> all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye appts.

> and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

> me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

> uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about the

> medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

> know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this is

> just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group is

> composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with this

> and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

> husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not alone

> in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

> more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

> pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

>

> & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

>

[Guest guest]

:

Thank you for saying that so well. I was sort of tyring to say something

similar, I just did not do a very good job. Our house is similar, Mike knows

all the finnaical stuff; and car stuff. I'm the medical person. I do take the

kids to all their appts. Mike works full-time, I work part time so I schedule

appts accordingly and he comes when his schedule allows.

To all the men reading: I in no way meant to offend anyone with my first reply.

Mike & I simply grew up in households where taking kids to appointments was the

wife's job. Men worked fulltime and took care of the finances and car stuff and

home repairs and that's pretty much how we run our household too, it just works

for us.

Sending prayers & happy thoughts,

Beth :-)

Re: spouse involvement?

Hi everyone,

I know there have been a lot of replies on this one, so I apologize if

I am restating other posts.

It can be frustrating when one spouse (husband or wife) isn't up to

date and on the same page with regards to information. But I think we

have to remember that some of us are good at some things and others

are good at other things. I have the teachers and doctors down, while

my husband has the finances and car. If I had to have work done on our

car, I couldn't begin to tell you the last time it had an oil change.

My husband, on the other hand, couldn't begin to name 1/2 of the

medications Andy is on. Sure, it can be frustrating to me, but I'm

sure he rolls his eyes just as much when it comes to other stuff that

I do wrong.

I created a sheet that has all of Andy's medication, dosage, doctors

and phone numbers, pharmacy, SSN, insurance info, etc. all on one

page. My mother, my father, the school, my husband and I all have this

same info on file and we carry it with us. No one can be expected to

remember everything, so better to be prepared than at a loss.

I can relate to having more questions after the visit when my husband

takes Andy to the doctor. I've just decided that is one thing that I'm

better at, so I do it. I know it isn't always possible, so I make a

list of questions and have him ask the doctor if I can't be there.

None of this is a perfect situation, but we're human, and we can only

do what we can do.

Maybe these ideas will help.

Wishing everyone health and happiness.

(Andy, age 9, psoriatic)

>

> I have a a different question for everyone. Yesterday I had my

> husband, Greg, take Grant to his eye doctor appt. All our appts are

> a 2 hour drive for us into Mpls. so we have to take off at least a

> half a day work.(sometimes a whole day) I just feel guilty taking

> all that time off of work, when my husband could be helping out

> some. So anyways thats why I have sent him on a couple eye appts.

> and both times I have more questions after Greg explains things to

> me than I did before the appt! What really made me realize how

> uninvolved Greg is was yesterday he told me the Dr. asked about the

> medications Grant was taking and Greg didn't know. He didn't even

> know what medications he was taking!!!! I'm assuming that this is

> just a " man " thing especially since I've noticed that this group is

> composed primarily of women. Has anyone else had to deal with this

> and how do you get them to be more involved? Do you send your

> husbands to appts. w/out you? I guess I'm hoping that I'm not alone

> in this. I think Greg realized yesterday that he needs to learn

> more about this. Hopefully he will start reading the pages upon

> pages of articles I've printed about JA and Uveitis.

>

> & Grant 10/PsA/Uveitis

>