Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

[Guest guest]

I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live life

without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to love

myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

Carol

Addictive Behavior-Long

Many of us did lots of drugs in our youth...the motto of my friends and me was

" anything for a high says I. " Many of us also got strung out...not because of

addictive behavior but because we liked the high and we didn't like

reality...and of course a little self destructiveness is in the formula.

Doctors, shrinks, therapists are quick to throw the addictive behavior term

around. Often it is their fault that people return to that life style...you hear

that shit long enough and it becomes one's reality. As I constantly tell my 21

yr old nephew who was badly abused by my sister until he was 10 and she

abandoned him, you have to put the past and all it's pain and hurts behind you

and learn to live as an adult without blaming your behavior choices on your

past...one has to accept the responibility for their behavior. It's not because

one was abused, or has addictive behavior, or feels unloved and on and on...it's

because one makes a choice.

Becoming someone...that's a strange expression. We are all someone whether we

do drugs or not. We are spirit...the essence of life. I think the key is to

recognize ourselves and the beauty that is our spirit and come to acceptance of

who we are. When one can accept, one can change anything. It changes your

perspective of life.

We all have our downsides and we all have times when we just can't cope any

more. And we all " don't cope " in different ways. It doesn't matter how we don't

cope...what is important is that a) we reach out for help and/or we pull

ourselves up by the bootstraps. Sometimes we have to hit bottom before we can do

either...but when we reach a point where we really don't like ourselves, spirit

is still there to help us find our way.

Again, we have to come to acceptance...whether it's something good or not so

good or even horrible about ourselves. If we can accept that we are humyn and we

make mistakes, we *can* find ourselves (our spirit) again. And if we accept

versus expect, we aren't setting ourselves up for disappointments that generally

send us into self destructive behavior.

Instead of saying " I couldn't hold myself together and cope the right way, " we

need to turn that around into a positive statement. " Look how well I did, but

oops, I slipped into old behavior patterns...but I modified my behavior before

and will modify it again. This is nothing but a speed bump in my life. "

Getting " clean " is one of the hardest things to do in life. If one can get

clean, they have incredible strength of character and can do anything they

decide to do...even if they slip at times. If life gets overwhelming and we

slip back to our old cop outs, that's okay...we are humyn. Each of us needs to

learn to stop beating ourselves up for the mistakes we make in the course of our

lives. We are our own worse enemy.

When we think that life is overwhelming and just can't deal with it any more,

we easily revert to what we know and are comfortable with...whether that is

drugs, drinking, hiding from the world, etc. Is that addictive behavior? I don't

think so. I truly believe that we revert to what we know because it " is safe "

for us. So we need to find something else that we feel safe in/with.

Rarely can we do a 360 turn in behavior modification...that is unrealistic and

sets us up to fail when we stumble along the way. Then we are caught up in that

negative cycle again. We need to learn to take baby steps...pick one little

piece out of the big picture and work toward modifying that. That is more

realistic and less conducive to failure.

We need to learn to take the labels off our behavior so we can look at it from

a different perspective. And we need to learn to accept ourselves instead of

expecting unrealistic goals for ourselves. We need to stop setting ourselves up

to fail.

Sorry I rambled on like that. These are lessons that I have learned in the

course of my life that have helped me so I thought I'd share them. Not that I am

perfect at following them...we all have speed bumps in our lives...and we all

have times when we just can't cope any more.

Let's make a goal for tomorrow. Tomorrow none of us are going to beat ourselve

up over any real or percieved " failures " in our lives. Surely we can do that for

one day. Tomorrow, for just the one day, we are going to be positive and live

life without the shadow of our perceived failures...for one day we are going to

love ourselves with all our positive and negative aspects.

Blessings

Tatezi

-Long

[Guest guest]

Well said, Tatezi. Your nephew is lucky to have you around to explain some

of this.

[Guest guest]

Well said, Tatezi. Your nephew is lucky to have you around to explain some

of this.

[Guest guest]

Well said, Tatezi. Your nephew is lucky to have you around to explain some

of this.

[Guest guest]

Well said, Tatezi. Your nephew is lucky to have you around to explain some

of this.

[Guest guest]

There ya go...you got the idea. Today will be a good day and we are wonderful

people deserving of our own love.

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live life

without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to love

myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

Carol

[Guest guest]

There ya go...you got the idea. Today will be a good day and we are wonderful

people deserving of our own love.

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live life

without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to love

myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

Carol

[Guest guest]

There ya go...you got the idea. Today will be a good day and we are wonderful

people deserving of our own love.

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live life

without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to love

myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

Carol

[Guest guest]

There ya go...you got the idea. Today will be a good day and we are wonderful

people deserving of our own love.

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live life

without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to love

myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

Carol

[Guest guest]

I really liked it too. I signed on late, late last night and didn't have

the energy to respond, but what I read --- it was all very true and inspiring,

and it reminded me that " you are what you think " . Yes... today I will not

beat myself up for my past failures and mistakes. Someone once told me " why do

you think pencils have erasers " - lol.

In a message dated 5/10/2004 8:42:52 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tatezi@... writes:

> There ya go...you got the idea. Today will be a good day and we are

> wonderful people deserving of our own love.

>

> Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

>

>

> I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live

> life without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to

> love myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

>

> Carol

>

>

[Guest guest]

I really liked it too. I signed on late, late last night and didn't have

the energy to respond, but what I read --- it was all very true and inspiring,

and it reminded me that " you are what you think " . Yes... today I will not

beat myself up for my past failures and mistakes. Someone once told me " why do

you think pencils have erasers " - lol.

In a message dated 5/10/2004 8:42:52 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tatezi@... writes:

> There ya go...you got the idea. Today will be a good day and we are

> wonderful people deserving of our own love.

>

> Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

>

>

> I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live

> life without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to

> love myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

>

> Carol

>

>

[Guest guest]

I really liked it too. I signed on late, late last night and didn't have

the energy to respond, but what I read --- it was all very true and inspiring,

and it reminded me that " you are what you think " . Yes... today I will not

beat myself up for my past failures and mistakes. Someone once told me " why do

you think pencils have erasers " - lol.

In a message dated 5/10/2004 8:42:52 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tatezi@... writes:

> There ya go...you got the idea. Today will be a good day and we are

> wonderful people deserving of our own love.

>

> Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

>

>

> I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live

> life without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to

> love myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

>

> Carol

>

>

[Guest guest]

I really liked it too. I signed on late, late last night and didn't have

the energy to respond, but what I read --- it was all very true and inspiring,

and it reminded me that " you are what you think " . Yes... today I will not

beat myself up for my past failures and mistakes. Someone once told me " why do

you think pencils have erasers " - lol.

In a message dated 5/10/2004 8:42:52 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tatezi@... writes:

> There ya go...you got the idea. Today will be a good day and we are

> wonderful people deserving of our own love.

>

> Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

>

>

> I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live

> life without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going to

> love myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

>

> Carol

>

>

[Guest guest]

I like that...and am going to remember it. <g>

" why do you think pencils have erasers " - lol.

[Guest guest]

I like that...and am going to remember it. <g>

" why do you think pencils have erasers " - lol.

[Guest guest]

I like that...and am going to remember it. <g>

" why do you think pencils have erasers " - lol.

[Guest guest]

I like that...and am going to remember it. <g>

" why do you think pencils have erasers " - lol.

[Guest guest]

Well Tatezi, it worked....I had an amazing day....gonna do this again tomorrow

;-) I just wished it could inspire me to make a dentist appointment

*sigh*.....maybe tomorrow I will make the appointment....for next week LOL.

Huggggggs

Carol

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

>

>

> I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live

> life without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going

to

> love myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

>

> Carol

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well Tatezi, it worked....I had an amazing day....gonna do this again tomorrow

;-) I just wished it could inspire me to make a dentist appointment

*sigh*.....maybe tomorrow I will make the appointment....for next week LOL.

Huggggggs

Carol

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

>

>

> I like that Tatezi.....tomorrow, for one day, I will be positive and live

> life without the shadow of my perceived failures....for one day I am going

to

> love myself with all my positive and negative aspects.

>

> Carol

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad it helped your day...and don't worry about the dentist...my cats get

better dental care than I do.

Did anyone else take a day to love and forgive yourself? Amazing what a little

love can do, eh?

Maybe this should be our week's goal...it can't hurt and it sure can help!

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

Well Tatezi, it worked....I had an amazing day....gonna do this again tomorrow

;-) I just wished it could inspire me to make a dentist appointment

*sigh*.....maybe tomorrow I will make the appointment....for next week LOL.

Huggggggs

Carol

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad it helped your day...and don't worry about the dentist...my cats get

better dental care than I do.

Did anyone else take a day to love and forgive yourself? Amazing what a little

love can do, eh?

Maybe this should be our week's goal...it can't hurt and it sure can help!

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

Well Tatezi, it worked....I had an amazing day....gonna do this again tomorrow

;-) I just wished it could inspire me to make a dentist appointment

*sigh*.....maybe tomorrow I will make the appointment....for next week LOL.

Huggggggs

Carol

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad it helped your day...and don't worry about the dentist...my cats get

better dental care than I do.

Did anyone else take a day to love and forgive yourself? Amazing what a little

love can do, eh?

Maybe this should be our week's goal...it can't hurt and it sure can help!

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

Well Tatezi, it worked....I had an amazing day....gonna do this again tomorrow

;-) I just wished it could inspire me to make a dentist appointment

*sigh*.....maybe tomorrow I will make the appointment....for next week LOL.

Huggggggs

Carol

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad it helped your day...and don't worry about the dentist...my cats get

better dental care than I do.

Did anyone else take a day to love and forgive yourself? Amazing what a little

love can do, eh?

Maybe this should be our week's goal...it can't hurt and it sure can help!

Re: Addictive Behavior-Long

Well Tatezi, it worked....I had an amazing day....gonna do this again tomorrow

;-) I just wished it could inspire me to make a dentist appointment

*sigh*.....maybe tomorrow I will make the appointment....for next week LOL.

Huggggggs

Carol

[Guest guest]

Tatezi...

I didnt do drugs and whatever in my youth .. but i do so love what you had to

say in this message... our past .. many use for an excuse for the way we/they

are ... I read " a child called IT " and mr pelzers other books.. and the main

thing that came across was .. that you can go on after bad treatment or

failures.. you make the final decision.. you dont let things that happened to

you

in the past.. at least the bad things .. dictate your future... anyone can

rise above it.. but things like support from msg boards such as this are things

to draw close to .. people can help each other.. we are made to be social

people .. i have problems .. or had problems in the past going to others.. and

do

realize that was a mistake.. we all need each other!!

feeling like hugging you all,

Dawn

[Guest guest]

Tatezi...

I didnt do drugs and whatever in my youth .. but i do so love what you had to

say in this message... our past .. many use for an excuse for the way we/they

are ... I read " a child called IT " and mr pelzers other books.. and the main

thing that came across was .. that you can go on after bad treatment or

failures.. you make the final decision.. you dont let things that happened to

you

in the past.. at least the bad things .. dictate your future... anyone can

rise above it.. but things like support from msg boards such as this are things

to draw close to .. people can help each other.. we are made to be social

people .. i have problems .. or had problems in the past going to others.. and

do

realize that was a mistake.. we all need each other!!

feeling like hugging you all,

Dawn