Admitting when help is needed !!!

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Is it a common trait with us CMTers to try not to admit to ourselves when we

need more help or do situations just sneak up on us ? I have been a doer all

of my life and have a mother-in-law who lives with us in a flat attached to our

house, slowly but surely over the past six months she has been come less

able although more abled than some at the age of seventy five. Without

realising it she has put a lot more pressure on me and it was only a the

week-end I realised that I was not copeing with the pressure. It was decided

between my husband and myself she was needing more help. She was not

happy with this but I have now learned to put myself first and live with her

discontentment. I think at lot of my problems have stemmed from this sort of

situation in the past and not being able to stand up for myself. I am sure if

we look at ourselves we probrably have all been guilty of this. My message

don't think you are being selfish by putting yourself first in family

situations.

I just wanted to share this expeience with you all.

P.

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: " plobette2000 " <benpalombo@...>

< >

Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2002 1:06 PM

Subject: [] Admitting when help is needed !!!

> Hi,

>

> Is it a common trait with us CMTers to try not to admit to ourselves when

we

> need more help or do situations just sneak up on us ?

******************************************

,

At least you recognized you needed help.....I would say you have half the

battle won. There is absolutely NO disgrace in needing help, be it for

yourself or with others. You need to look out after so you to may

have a long, manageable life.

>

> Remember! We are here to share our personal experience on

> living positive, quality lives with CMT.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I don't think it's just a CMT trait, but a trait in a lot of

people, men and women, who are declining in their abilities. Many

people do not like to ask for help,, but you are right that for us if

we are to preserve what we have we must know when to set boundaries.

My father, who is 88 with no CMT, wants to stay in his home with the

big yard, fruit trees, garden, etc. He is very uncomfortable asking

for help from his kids even though he needs it, and when he gets it

he has trouble showing much appreciation. His acceptance of needing

help would make everyone feel better, but it just isn't going to

happen.

So your acceptance of her discontentment is a good thing, because

sometimes the solutions must be less than " perfect " . Maybe in time

she'll adjust - hope so for your sake, dear.

Melody

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Well done to you! It is not at all selfish to ask for help when

needed. What use are we to anybody when we push ourselves to the

limit (as I believe is " normal " for us CMT'ers).

I was one of those that NEVER asked for help and what hard work that

was! I have just resently learned to understand my limitations and

what a relief that is!

Firstly I swallowed my " pride " and " gave in " to CMT (at least that's

what I thought) - and asked for crutches. What a freedom that has

given me! Instead of falling all the time and not wanting to go

anywhere on my own - I can now relax while walking. When I'm

travelling I ask for assistance now, instead of being ashame as I

used to be. So, no more worries about travelling alone! I get a

wheel chair and somebody will follow me all the way onto the plane,

no more steps and long corridors! Next week I'm going to visit a

centre that has all kind of special devises to help with my hands -

there is so much help there, I just never asked for it....

I also have a lonely (and selfish) mother-in-law who would love to

move in with us. My husband thankfully understand that I could never

manage that, but sadly my mother-in-law is very resentful about it.

That is HER problem not mine! (Hard, but true...)

As also says; you need to look after yourself, (we all do),

I feel that people with CMT have more than enough to cope with, just

getting thru each day physically - nobody should expect us to do much

more than that.

Lots of Love, Nina