Guest guest Posted December 22, 2002 Report Share Posted December 22, 2002 In a message dated 12/22/02 5:08:11 PM Eastern Standard Time, ingridottis@... writes: I took 3mg this am ..and took a great bike ride but feel like shit right now,, it's not just the holidays. Should I take another dose this PM? No no no! Never up your dosage without permission from your doc. Suz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2002 Report Share Posted December 22, 2002 > Dear Group, > I had been doing well at 2.5-3 mg of Lex for 12 weeks...during the > last couple of days, I noticed I am feeling depressed again. I > probably need to increase but I am wondering will I keep building > tolerance and need to take an ever increasing amount? What are other > people's experience? I took 3mg this am ..and took a great bike ride > but feel like shit right now,, it's not just the holidays. Should I > take another dose this PM? > A lot of you know I am slowly withdrawing from Ativan which is not an > option for me anymore as I had hit tolerance w/ that and I know it > exacerbated my anxiety and depression. I also developed MS type > symptoms on it- in the use of my limbs. > It's really werid and unacceptable to feel this blanket over me > again. > I will be able to talk to my doctor tomorrow but should I take > another dose tonite??? > I liked having a life again and don't want to loose it. > Please advise, > Ingrid Ingrid, Hi. Like you today I am not my normal self. Haven't been for the past 11 days or so. Was stupid enough to go off the Lex and back to the Celexa for 10 days then refilled my Lex and second day back on it. I am going through the headaches again and the depression is back too. I can't tell you what to or not to do but I have done exactly what you are thinking of doing. I have taken another or added dose at night just to try to hurry up the reaction to the meds. Dumb......maybe.... but I have done it. If you are going to talk to your Doc early in the morning though maybe just go to bed and wait it out. You are really on a low dose too. How do you cut those pills to get that exact amount of 3 mg?? I am on 5 mg again and waiting for it to kick in. I hate feeling like this too. It's like a troll inside my head pushing outwards......nasty feeling. Big time headache today and no reasonable thoughts whatsoever. Just feel really low. Just what I wanted for Christmas. Yeah....well only me to blame. My big idea to go to CElexa again since i didn't want to up the dose on Lex. Some days I just can't stand the thought that I have to rely on some drug company to make me normal. This is one of them. I just had to bitch for a while I guess. Hope to be back to normal soon. Shauna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2002 Report Share Posted December 22, 2002 Good luck in the morning talking to your doctor. I also have an appointment in the morning, but I am afraid we are in for a snow storm and I may have to cancel. Jolene Fighting depression Dear Group,I had been doing well at 2.5-3 mg of Lex for 12 weeks...during the last couple of days, I noticed I am feeling depressed again. I probably need to increase but I am wondering will I keep building tolerance and need to take an ever increasing amount? What are other people's experience? I took 3mg this am ..and took a great bike ride but feel like shit right now,, it's not just the holidays. Should I take another dose this PM? A lot of you know I am slowly withdrawing from Ativan which is not an option for me anymore as I had hit tolerance w/ that and I know it exacerbated my anxiety and depression. I also developed MS type symptoms on it- in the use of my limbs.It's really werid and unacceptable to feel this blanket over me again. I will be able to talk to my doctor tomorrow but should I take another dose tonite???I liked having a life again and don't want to loose it.Please advise,Ingrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 Hi Dave I think all of us understand. I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? We only have each other. Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 Dave, Not to sound condescending but I was in therapy for 19 years as an outpatient for bi polar and had some very real 20 year long depressions. I am blessed to say that after working very hard on all my issues I am in recovery from that. It takes making a commitment and facing up to the " cop outs " , not being a victim, dealing with your pasts and letting it go, getting on with life even if you cant walk, giving to someone less fortunate than you-- there are so many out there that would need a helping hand. Pain is a master of protocol but does it have to have that much power over us? Things to think on. Perhaps start a support group? If you like the format and you Do have something to offer,  you could be the moderator? Personally, I learned that subscribing to a victim mentality does not get me anywhere and that is what I was doing back in the 80's. After I faced all my stuff I broke out of my behaviors and am now making good solid decisions that are healthy for me. Does any of this make sense? I am Not being judgmental. Just trying to open up the discussion. I will be one memeber of your on line gruoup! I have a lot to offer and to share! Take care, Annie A poet is, after all, to see From: Dave Cruikshank <d.cruikshank@...> Subject: Fighting Depression neck pain Date: Thursday, July 17, 2008, 4:15 AM I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave ------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008  > > Hi Dave > I think all of us understand. > > I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. > Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. > > Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. > > Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. > It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. > > The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... > > Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. > That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. > > Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. > > I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. > > I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. > > Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? > We only have each other. > > > > > Fighting Depression > > > I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I > wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's > not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I > am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using > my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with > pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to > do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative > weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay > home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually > can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure > insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive > when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care > Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during > the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no > more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out > the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the > public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a > migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice > pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and > am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me > sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind > stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked > for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group > like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of > therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find > individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my > days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm > sure some of you can relate. > Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where > we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who > feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss > using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison > I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and > limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & > loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I > accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how > I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape > from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real > escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and > struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my > dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to > get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so > close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and > said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no > longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very > much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too > long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is > fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for > listening. Dave > >Dave ;-I am in tears, the thoughts & words, thankyou, you have said what I can't get out of my head to outhers aroud me. you understand. Thakyou, Bill > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 Morning Ann thank you for your feedback, see thats why a group is important because everyone has something to offer and what you have said this morning is like a kick in the pants to me. Your right, there are people wayyyyy worse off, those with out a home, living on the streets, veterans missing limbs and trying to get their lives back together. thank you for reminding us of how much it takes to keep on fighting, when we are alone it is often easy to sink down, so thank you again for sharing. Fighting Depression neck pain Date: Thursday, July 17, 2008, 4:15 AM I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave ------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Boy..this sounds familiar..I feel that same desperation sometimes. I was just let go from a company that when they hired me allowed me to work from home as needed. Then my manager retires and a new manager comes in and says sorry. the schedule you have worked the last two plus years won't work for me... You need to be here 8 to 5.. 50 mile commute one way.. I told the guy by 5:00 I cannot even turn my neck and that I have a doctor's note stating that I was not to work more than 20 hours in the office... It did not matter.. I was canned.? Of course this guy was not only a pig he was a stupid pig. I was the DB2 Database Administrator.. But this guy?knows nothing about mainfame work and has know idea what he has just done.. That does not help much though.. I am 56 and up until?about 5 years ago played tennis, skied, lifted weights.? Then the disks in my neck started heniating. I had surgery and that fixed two disks but now my spinal column is bruised and I have 3 more so... Now I can not be out past two or three because my neck stiffens from the pain to the point that it is dangerous to drive.. I too take pain meds but they only help so much and I am simply not going to over medicate myself so that I can stay out longer.. But, it is boring at the house.. Luckily I like to read.. My advice.. Try to smile everytime you see someone.. when they smile back it is very rewarding.. ?In fact here is one from me :? ) Tom???? RE: Fighting Depression Hi Dave I think all of us understand. I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? We only have each other. Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008         Hi Tom My Dr want  to do surgery on my neck after reading your post kinda scare me.  I have 2 herniating disc but they want to go in though the front of my neck to do the surgery I also have a bad back . I am in pain almost everyday ugh!!! Good luck Carm Boy..this sounds familiar..I feel that same desperation sometimes. I was just let go from a company that when they hired me allowed me to work from home as needed. Then my manager retires and a new manager comes in and says sorry. the schedule you have worked the last two plus years won't work for me... You need to be here 8 to 5.. 50 mile commute one way.. I told the guy by 5:00 I cannot even turn my neck and that I have a doctor's note stating that I was not to work more than 20 hours in the office... It did not matter.. I was canned.? Of course this guy was not only a pig he was a stupid pig. I was the DB2 Database Administrator. . But this guy?knows nothing about mainfame work and has know idea what he has just done.. That does not help much though.. I am 56 and up until?about 5 years ago played tennis, skied, lifted weights.? Then the disks in my neck started heniating. I had surgery and that fixed two disks but now my spinal column is bruised and I have 3 more so... Now I can not be out past two or three because my neck stiffens from the pain to the point that it is dangerous to drive.. I too take pain meds but they only help so much and I am simply not going to over medicate myself so that I can stay out longer.. But, it is boring at the house.. Luckily I like to read.. My advice.. Try to smile everytime you see someone.. when they smile back it is very rewarding.. ?In fact here is one from me :? ) Tom???? RE: [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression Hi Dave I think all of us understand. I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? We only have each other. [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008         Hi Tom My Dr want  to do surgery on my neck after reading your post kinda scare me.  I have 2 herniating disc but they want to go in though the front of my neck to do the surgery I also have a bad back . I am in pain almost everyday ugh!!! Good luck Carm Boy..this sounds familiar..I feel that same desperation sometimes. I was just let go from a company that when they hired me allowed me to work from home as needed. Then my manager retires and a new manager comes in and says sorry. the schedule you have worked the last two plus years won't work for me... You need to be here 8 to 5.. 50 mile commute one way.. I told the guy by 5:00 I cannot even turn my neck and that I have a doctor's note stating that I was not to work more than 20 hours in the office... It did not matter.. I was canned.? Of course this guy was not only a pig he was a stupid pig. I was the DB2 Database Administrator. . But this guy?knows nothing about mainfame work and has know idea what he has just done.. That does not help much though.. I am 56 and up until?about 5 years ago played tennis, skied, lifted weights.? Then the disks in my neck started heniating. I had surgery and that fixed two disks but now my spinal column is bruised and I have 3 more so... Now I can not be out past two or three because my neck stiffens from the pain to the point that it is dangerous to drive.. I too take pain meds but they only help so much and I am simply not going to over medicate myself so that I can stay out longer.. But, it is boring at the house.. Luckily I like to read.. My advice.. Try to smile everytime you see someone.. when they smile back it is very rewarding.. ?In fact here is one from me :? ) Tom???? RE: [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression Hi Dave I think all of us understand. I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? We only have each other. [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 They always go in through the front..??If I was in your position I would take the chance as long as I knew it was a good doctor...By the way the scare goes away :? ) I think you have to look at it like well.. I may get complete again..If I don't what did I lose... Tom RE: [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression Hi Dave I think all of us understand. I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? We only have each other. [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 They always go in through the front..??If I was in your position I would take the chance as long as I knew it was a good doctor...By the way the scare goes away :? ) I think you have to look at it like well.. I may get complete again..If I don't what did I lose... Tom RE: [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression Hi Dave I think all of us understand. I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? We only have each other. [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 ooops I meant to say the scar(it is raised for a while) goes away.. :? ) you will probably be fine.. stay optimistic... Tom RE: [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression Hi Dave I think all of us understand. I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? We only have each other. [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 ooops I meant to say the scar(it is raised for a while) goes away.. :? ) you will probably be fine.. stay optimistic... Tom RE: [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression Hi Dave I think all of us understand. I work from home mostly cause it hurts so much just to get out of the door and walk into work and sit there all day. Im very glad they let me, yet I dont have any personal contact except for the one or two days where I force myself to go in. Except for the dog, the mailwoman, the occasional delivery driver that is about it for the personal contact during the day while my husband is at work. Oh and the ongoing Physical Therapy and Doctors appts. Yeah but they dont really count. It is very hard to fight the pain and to feel trapped in it. The meds are a drag, they give you some relief but than have all of those side effects.... Im only 44 and some days I just wish the end would hurry up and come. That is pretty sad I know, but the idea of living with this pain until 70 is very discouraging. Sorry I know this isnt very uplifting at all. I guess I just want to say I acknowledge how you feel and dont feel you are alone with these feelings at all. I asked my Physical Medicine Doctor about a support group about a year ago and he blew me off saying that they were only people who got together to complain about their pain. Well, who else do we have to complain too? Our spouses god bless them have to get sick of it, and our friends dont want to hear it, Im mean, would anyone who doesnt have chronic back, neck, whatever pain? We only have each other. [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008   Thanks Tom How long was recovery? Didn't you say it didn't help you the surgery? [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008   Thanks Tom How long was recovery? Didn't you say it didn't help you the surgery? [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2008 Report Share Posted July 30, 2008 My surgery did help, it is just that I have more damage now that can not be fixed. I was good from about 6 months.. Neck surgery will take maybe a month to recover.. I guess though that it can differ. I had 2 disked replaced a rod put in there, so it may not be a good comparison.. : ) Tom In a message dated 7/29/2008 6:23:15 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, green_eyes195@... writes: Thanks Tom How long was recovery? Didn't you say it didn't help you the surgery? [PainInTheNeck- Back] Fighting Depression I give in, I'm officially fighting depression. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another summer, but here I am doing it again. It's not where I want to be, and I'm not always there, but mostly I am. When I go out with my Train club, I'm productive, social, using my brain and feel useful. I then pay for the next day or two with pain, lack of sleep, etc. But it is something I look forward to do. On alternative weeks I do this 2X a week, the other alternative weeks I do it Wednesday night, and then per my wife's request I stay home with her on her weekend off. The rest of the week I usually can't sleep at night due to pain, and mental anguish or just pure insomnia, then I doze on and off during the day. I come back alive when my Wife comes home. I do have a visit with my primary care Doctor on Monday and will discuss this with him. Other times during the week I do my required chores. I put them off until I can't no more, then push through them. The hardest part is getting myself out the door. Once I do, I do pretty well, and assimilate with the public. But after I do I'm exhausted, in pain, and usually have a migraine and nausea/dizzyness and need to sit down with an ice pack. I hate what my life has become. I do see a psychiatrist and am due to see him soon. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep. I need to interact with people in a productive and mind stimulating way. Up until disability i owned my own company, worked for little startups etc. I miss the using my mind. I need a group like this, but local and face to face. I've been in and out of therapy since the late 80's. I do well in group therapy and find individual generally a waste of time. I don't want to waste away my days until I end up in a nursing home ( a big fear of mine ) I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe we should think about regularly scheduled on-line chats where we can all vent and help each other, I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't you all miss contributing to society. I miss using my mind more than my back. I need to break out of this prison I created for myself, but also be realistic to the pain and limitations, it's not like I just decided to quit working. Pain & loss of stamina made me quit working. The pain is very real, I accept that, but I don't want to curl up and die at 47, and thats how I feel sometimes. It's so easy to curl up on the la-z-boy and escape from the pain and stress for a few hours. Even then it's not a real escape, in my vivid real dreams, I'm always working and failing, and struggling, it's never an escape to fantasy island in my dreams. And they are very real. Most of them I'm also almost able to get back together with my first Wife Suzy who is dead. We come so close, and then it doesn't happen, the other morning I woke up and said to myself, of course it doesn't happen, it can't, she's no longer here. Luckily my Wife understands that I can love her very much, and still miss my first wife very much. Well I spouted too long. Maybe I touched a nerve in someone else. Someone else who is fighting pain & depression. They are a dynamic duo. Thanks for listening. Dave [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] **************Get fantasy football with free live scoring. Sign up for FanHouse Fantasy Football today. (http://www.fanhouse.com/fantasyaffair?ncid=aolspr00050000000020) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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