Karma

[Guest guest]

Does anyone out there believe in Karma? I just do not know in which

lifetime I went very wrong. I must have been Jack the Ripper in

another life and I hope that each since has gotten just a little bit

better so maybe one day I can come back as something beautiful and

carefree...like a butterfly.

I thought that I had been living a good life...a right life. I have

always been good to people and animals. I went to college and then

law school. I thought my life was just beginning. That is

where...somewhere...somehow...it took a major left turn.

In 1997 I started to get very, very sick and I went everywhere...and

I mean everywhere and no one could tell me what was wrong. Four

years later, still undiagnosed and by this time in a wheelchair, I

just wanted to know what was wrong. I didn't even care if it would

be something that would result in my death...I just wanted to know.

Finally...I was diagnosed with a rare neurological disorder called

Startle Disease. Little did I know that was the beginning of the end

for me.

No...Startle Disease does not kill you but I have been though

hospitalization after hospitalization since then.

Than April of last year I got a PE (Pulmonary Embolism) and was

hospitalized for that. In june I had to have my gall bladder removed

and I finally thought I was done. How much can one person take?

Not to mention that in March and April my mom...my best friend...went

into a coma because she just stopped breathing. They did not think

for the longest time that she would ever come off. Thankfully she

did.

Then this past November I went to the ER for a migraine. The IV left

me with a systemic staph infection that was MRSA. I had to have

surgery on my hand to save it.

Since November I have known that something has just not been right

with my health. Now I know what it is...RA. I am told that it has

been caused my the MRSA. So I went from a migraine to MRSA and now

RA on top of my Startle Disease.

How much can one person take? What on God's Green Earth did I EVER

do to deserve all the suffering I have gone through? I just cannot

figure it out and am tired of trying.

I give. UNCLE for Christ's sake! I am sorry but my shoulders are

just not this big! Do you think all of those butterflies were once

where I am now?

Please just let this end and let me be a butterfly!