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Re: Husband Pushing Me

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You have a common problem. Many people like the “Spoon

Theory” to explain this problem, and there are also various versions of

letters to those without chronic pain. Perhaps one or both of the links

below will help your husband to understand. God bless.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/the_spoon_theory.php

http://www.thedailyheadache.com/2008/02/helping-others-understand-a-letter-to-people-without-chronic-pain.html

From:

Rheumatoid Arthritis

[mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of har8han4

Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2009 10:21 AM

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Subject: Husband Pushing Me

I have a mixed connective tissue disease. That

means I have Rheumatoid,

Sjogrens and Lupus. I act on the outside like I am not sick so my

husband pushes me and forgets that I am ill. Actually I have asthma,

pancreatitis, lesions on my lungs, chronic pain, lumps on my toes,

neuropathy, and a lump on my finger and I am very anemic. He acts like

I am totally normal and his expectations are that I am not really sick

even though the doctors told him I am very ill. Can anyone relate to

this? and how do I get him to stop pushing me and see that I am ill?

Hugs, Elaine

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08:12:00

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Sit him down and let him know. He loves you and want you to be around forever. Thanks for sharing.

From: har8han4 <elainesnd@...>Subject: Husband Pushing MeRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Thursday, February 12, 2009, 1:20 PM

I have a mixed connective tissue disease. That means I have Rheumatoid,Sjogrens and Lupus. I act on the outside like I am not sick so my husband pushes me and forgets that I am ill. Actually I have asthma, pancreatitis, lesions on my lungs, chronic pain, lumps on my toes, neuropathy, and a lump on my finger and I am very anemic. He acts like I am totally normal and his expectations are that I am not really sick even though the doctors told him I am very ill. Can anyone relate to this? and how do I get him to stop pushing me and see that I am ill?Hugs, Elaine

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Dear Elaine

You don`t know how i feel with you, i am sitting here crying.

When i came down with RA, my dear husband was there with me every step,

He was so sensitive, so caring, so loving,

having to cope with Arthritis is bad enough, but having a husband that does not

really care,and is not sensitive to your problem it makes it so much harder to

cope.

my dear husband passed away of cancer in 2000, and my world is gone,

i miss him day and nights.

I have a little dog, that is keeping me going,

I need an operation on my toes, but i have nobody to drive me to the hospital,

and bring me home. What i need the most, would be moral support ( that is also

what i always got from my sweet husband )

I wish i would have died bevore him, because he was always so strong

always giving me hope. ( what i also never get from my RA, DR,)

Please be strong sweetheart, hang in there.

Love Marika

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