Guest guest Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 I know just how you feel, sometimes I just want to scream. My son is 36 years old and he is always calling with his problems and my daughter always got something going on and the grandkids is always under feet when I move they move. My husband as yours is so wonderful, but some times I don't want him around because I just need some me time which I can not get. I know that he loves me. I need some time so I can clear my head. Some times I hurt so until I don't want any one around me. I think that it some kind of depression I don't really know. From: reneehearttoheart <reneehearttoheart@...>Subject: things . . .Rheumatoid Arthritis Date: Friday, May 1, 2009, 5:15 PM I have this ra thing and just need to vent somewhere where no one knows me or us and can let this out. Since this all started in Feb. I was on Cymbalta for two weeks, when they thought it was my fibro. The pain got so bad and I turned into a zombie, found this was not fm so took me off that but the pain continued, until all this has come to a conclusion.The thing I am fighting now is always crying. At least once a day and I just want to be left alone to do my thing. I have lots of hobbies and all and four kids and 12 grdkids who are callin and all but my husband is driving me crazy. He travels alot and is very supportive and helpful I just want to be by myself and putz without having to make dinner or eat when he makes dinner. I don't want him cluttering up the br or sitting in a chair. I sound so mean and he is really nice and helpful and messy but this is really getting me down. He isn't traveling next week and I am afraid I am going to go out of my mind, and I am so short with him. Course, like a kid you have to point to everything is just doesn't see it.Anyway, just wondering if anyone has these symptoms, maybe it is depression of a sort, thanks for any input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 It does sound like depression and maybe just trying to accept that you have this disease. Maybe you should talk to your dr about what you are going thru. He/She may be able to refer you to someone who can help. Hugs, Vicki From: reneehearttoheart <reneehearttoheart@...>Rheumatoid Arthritis Sent: Friday, May 1, 2009 5:15:43 PMSubject: things . . . I have this ra thing and just need to vent somewhere where no one knows me or us and can let this out. Since this all started in Feb. I was on Cymbalta for two weeks, when they thought it was my fibro. The pain got so bad and I turned into a zombie, found this was not fm so took me off that but the pain continued, until all this has come to a conclusion.The thing I am fighting now is always crying. At least once a day and I just want to be left alone to do my thing. I have lots of hobbies and all and four kids and 12 grdkids who are callin and all but my husband is driving me crazy. He travels alot and is very supportive and helpful I just want to be by myself and putz without having to make dinner or eat when he makes dinner. I don't want him cluttering up the br or sitting in a chair. I sound so mean and he is really nice and helpful and messy but this is really getting me down. He isn't traveling next week and I am afraid I am going to go out of my mind, and I am so short with him. Course, like a kid you have to point to everything is just doesn't see it.Anyway, just wondering if anyone has these symptoms, maybe it is depression of a sort, thanks for any input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 http://www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-THE-3.html Grief is often thought of as the loss of a loved one, and in a sense getting a chronic disease is the loss of your former self. I think you are in the process of working through this grief and each of us does this in our own way. I hope it will help you to recognize this as normal, with light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you arrive at acceptance soon. God bless. From: Rheumatoid Arthritis [mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of reneehearttoheart Sent: Friday, May 01, 2009 3:16 PM Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: things . . . I have this ra thing and just need to vent somewhere where no one knows me or us and can let this out. Since this all started in Feb. I was on Cymbalta for two weeks, when they thought it was my fibro. The pain got so bad and I turned into a zombie, found this was not fm so took me off that but the pain continued, until all this has come to a conclusion. The thing I am fighting now is always crying. At least once a day and I just want to be left alone to do my thing. I have lots of hobbies and all and four kids and 12 grdkids who are callin and all but my husband is driving me crazy. He travels alot and is very supportive and helpful I just want to be by myself and putz without having to make dinner or eat when he makes dinner. I don't want him cluttering up the br or sitting in a chair. I sound so mean and he is really nice and helpful and messy but this is really getting me down. He isn't traveling next week and I am afraid I am going to go out of my mind, and I am so short with him. Course, like a kid you have to point to everything is just doesn't see it. Anyway, just wondering if anyone has these symptoms, maybe it is depression of a sort, thanks for any input. No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.320 / Virus Database: 270.12.11/2089 - Release Date: 05/01/09 06:17:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 My husband is messy also, makes things even more difficult for me. He also seems to understand about my pain at times but then says things like. " I thought you were feeling better".....ummmm..that was yesterday. He really doesnt understand at ALL. I just dont know how to explain it to him any clearer. Sometimes I feel that he is jealous because I have an excuse NOT to do things sometimes....I will gladly share this disease with him. Even though I dont wish it on ANYONE! From: reneehearttoheart <reneehearttoheart>Subject: [rheumatoid_ arthritis] things . . .rheumatoid_arthriti sgroups (DOT) comDate: Friday, May 1, 2009, 5:15 PM I have this ra thing and just need to vent somewhere where no one knows me or us and can let this out. Since this all started in Feb. I was on Cymbalta for two weeks, when they thought it was my fibro. The pain got so bad and I turned into a zombie, found this was not fm so took me off that but the pain continued, until all this has come to a conclusion.The thing I am fighting now is always crying. At least once a day and I just want to be left alone to do my thing. I have lots of hobbies and all and four kids and 12 grdkids who are callin and all but my husband is driving me crazy. He travels alot and is very supportive and helpful I just want to be by myself and putz without having to make dinner or eat when he makes dinner. I don't want him cluttering up the br or sitting in a chair. I sound so mean and he is really nice and helpful and messy but this is really getting me down. He isn't traveling next week and I am afraid I am going to go out of my mind, and I am so short with him. Course, like a kid you have to point to everything is just doesn't see it.Anyway, just wondering if anyone has these symptoms, maybe it is depression of a sort, thanks for any input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 You really cant make a healthy person " get it " You cant expect them to put themselves in your body. Men do not have the patience women do, or the understanding or the empathy. Men are visual creatures and if you LOOK okay then you must feel OKAY. Right? Just explain the disease in simple terms that he can understand. Since its a visual picture it should be effective. Ask him to imagine that he has a cold, a virus. One of us at some point had a painful event that we dont forget. Imagine that virus evolved into an infection (like in your sinuses) and instead of being cured by the usual anti- biotic it turned your immune system into the infection. Your immune system is attacking you. The white blood cells that are suppose to work to cure the infection are instead making you sicker. Your white blood cells do not protect you anymore, they are the reason you are sick. The virus said to them (go forth and multiply and then attack the joints) and they became a parasite reproducing themselves so fast that it causes what you are feeling now. Your white cells are parasites and you are the host. The cells are feeding on you, with your joints being the Blue Plate Special. White blood cells are never asleep. They are always on overload, like an overactive mind needs ritalin to calm it. You have good days and bad days. Why not always bad days? Why some good days and not every day?? Hormones. Metabolism. Medication. All or one particularly can affect for good or ill how the white cells act. If you take MTX you slow them down. If you take a biologic, you stop the inflammation process but its not foolproof. You cant see the parasite. If you put your blood on a petri dish and put a microscope to it you would see your disease in action. White blood cells gone rogue. Kinda like Sara Palin. LOL. Anyway, the point is you have no choice about how you feel. You cant take a magic pill and be the woman he married. He however does have a choice. He can choose to make things harder by not picking up after himself or he can choose to make things easier. Tell him where you want his clothes and other things to go. I want the dirty towel in the hamper, I want the wet towel hung (here). Etc. He cant follow boundaries if they are invisible and he cant SEE them. Good luck. Deborah On Sun, May 3, 2009 at 1:55 AM, <angelac71@...> wrote: My husband is messy also, makes things even more difficult for me. He also seems to understand about my pain at times but then says things like. " I thought you were feeling better " .....ummmm..that was yesterday. He really doesnt understand at ALL. I just dont know how to explain it to him any clearer. Sometimes I feel that he is jealous because I have an excuse NOT to do things sometimes....I will gladly share this disease with him. Even though I dont wish it on ANYONE! From: reneehearttoheart <reneehearttoheart>Subject: [rheumatoid_ arthritis] things . . . rheumatoid_arthriti sgroups (DOT) comDate: Friday, May 1, 2009, 5:15 PM I have this ra thing and just need to vent somewhere where no one knows me or us and can let this out. Since this all started in Feb. I was on Cymbalta for two weeks, when they thought it was my fibro. The pain got so bad and I turned into a zombie, found this was not fm so took me off that but the pain continued, until all this has come to a conclusion. The thing I am fighting now is always crying. At least once a day and I just want to be left alone to do my thing. I have lots of hobbies and all and four kids and 12 grdkids who are callin and all but my husband is driving me crazy. He travels alot and is very supportive and helpful I just want to be by myself and putz without having to make dinner or eat when he makes dinner. I don't want him cluttering up the br or sitting in a chair. I sound so mean and he is really nice and helpful and messy but this is really getting me down. He isn't traveling next week and I am afraid I am going to go out of my mind, and I am so short with him. Course, like a kid you have to point to everything is just doesn't see it.Anyway, just wondering if anyone has these symptoms, maybe it is depression of a sort, thanks for any input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 I am feeling better now. I haven't started the medicine yet as they did not have coated pills and pharmacist said he would recommend and call the dr. office and naturally they were gone till Mon. morn. Hubby and I had a long talk and I really told him alot and he understands but I know he can't help being messy. I told him for now I just want simplicity so there is no guilt when I can't clean it up and he has to, etc. We will see how often I have to remind him lol.Yesterday was a painful one but today I can tell I feel better, wish my hands were not so swollen though. Going to take a nice warm shower and get my butt moving today. We are going to try and take the dog for a walk. We are going to the park and I will walk till I get tired and then sit on the bench till he comes back and then we will all walk back to the car.Our park has benches every so often along the trail so I will pick one and take a little bk to read till they come back. Need to get out and pick up my spirits. And my dog needs to walk! I have been trying to do some stretches as well to keep limbered up. Nothing drastic starting really slow.Well of to start a ? day. Only time will tell.Have a good Sunday everyone. From: reneehearttoheart <reneehearttoheart>Subject: [rheumatoid_ arthritis] things . . .rheumatoid_arthriti sgroups (DOT) comDate: Friday, May 1, 2009, 5:15 PM I have this ra thing and just need to vent somewhere where no one knows me or us and can let this out. Since this all started in Feb. I was on Cymbalta for two weeks, when they thought it was my fibro. The pain got so bad and I turned into a zombie, found this was not fm so took me off that but the pain continued, until all this has come to a conclusion.The thing I am fighting now is always crying. At least once a day and I just want to be left alone to do my thing. I have lots of hobbies and all and four kids and 12 grdkids who are callin and all but my husband is driving me crazy. He travels alot and is very supportive and helpful I just want to be by myself and putz without having to make dinner or eat when he makes dinner. I don't want him cluttering up the br or sitting in a chair. I sound so mean and he is really nice and helpful and messy but this is really getting me down. He isn't traveling next week and I am afraid I am going to go out of my mind, and I am so short with him. Course, like a kid you have to point to everything is just doesn't see it.Anyway, just wondering if anyone has these symptoms, maybe it is depression of a sort, thanks for any input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 It is good that you got your husband to understand and that you feel better. From: reneehearttoheart <reneehearttoheart>Subject: [rheumatoid_ arthritis] things . . .rheumatoid_arthriti sgroups (DOT) comDate: Friday, May 1, 2009, 5:15 PM I have this ra thing and just need to vent somewhere where no one knows me or us and can let this out. Since this all started in Feb. I was on Cymbalta for two weeks, when they thought it was my fibro. The pain got so bad and I turned into a zombie, found this was not fm so took me off that but the pain continued, until all this has come to a conclusion.The thing I am fighting now is always crying. At least once a day and I just want to be left alone to do my thing. I have lots of hobbies and all and four kids and 12 grdkids who are callin and all but my husband is driving me crazy. He travels alot and is very supportive and helpful I just want to be by myself and putz without having to make dinner or eat when he makes dinner. I don't want him cluttering up the br or sitting in a chair. I sound so mean and he is really nice and helpful and messy but this is really getting me down. He isn't traveling next week and I am afraid I am going to go out of my mind, and I am so short with him. Course, like a kid you have to point to everything is just doesn't see it.Anyway, just wondering if anyone has these symptoms, maybe it is depression of a sort, thanks for any input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 Spoon Theory – explaining RA to others http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/the_spoon_theory.php Many people find the Spoon Theory to be helpful in explaining the variability of a chronic illness. Another one often used is a letter to people without chronic pain. I hope one or both of these will help. God bless. http://www.thedailyheadache.com/2008/02/helping-others-understand-a-letter-to-people-without-chronic-pain.html From: Rheumatoid Arthritis [mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of Sent: Saturday, May 02, 2009 9:55 PM Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: Re: things . . . My husband is messy also, makes things even more difficult for me. He also seems to understand about my pain at times but then says things like. " I thought you were feeling better " .....ummmm..that was yesterday. He really doesnt understand at ALL. I just dont know how to explain it to him any clearer. Sometimes I feel that he is jealous because I have an excuse NOT to do things sometimes....I will gladly share this disease with him. Even though I dont wish it on ANYONE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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