RE: Denial

[Guest guest]

I would plan to do things with the mother only without the kid. But I would not

keep trying to get my kid to play with that kid. The parents won't see what

they don't want to see. And I guess if enough friends leave, they might learn

there is a problem. ??

Roxanna

( ) denial

Hello group,

I've been very busy and couldn't post for awhile, and just started

reading some of your post again.

Has anyone experienced someone in complete denial with their childs

concerns and keepted making many excuses for their childs

inappropriate behaviours or put the blame on you or others to take

the focuse off of their own childs issues? I have a child with a

DX of Aspergers. This persons child has issues that relate or more

inappropriate then my childs, more extreeme. very controlling,

during free time becomes verbally mean, immature, if doesn't get own

way, will have a " complete meltdown " . lies - even when caught,

perservates (repeats over & over till child gets what child wants),

and wont play with other children unless they will play what " that "

child wants to play, then will change rules to win. but, each and

every issue, the parents come up with a very good excuse for each

behaviour that child has to " justify " the childs inapproiate

behaviour. which enables the child to continue that behaviour.

When the child lies to the extreme. the parents will say, all

children lie. but not to the profession this one has established.

Controlling issues -(excuse)child is trying to be a teacher???

meltdowns,(excuse) everyone has a bad day??? yeah, each time the

child doesn't get what they want. Parents have excuse after excuse.

Parents have learned to make excuses for their child to the

perfection too. if you experienced this. What have you done or said

to keep a relationship with that family? and why would a parent make

up so many excuses for their child and not teach them or get them

professional help????

.

[Guest guest]

Hi!

It's good to hear that you want to keep a relationship

with them, instead of " blowing them off " !

Telling someone something that'll be hard to hear

isn't fun. But if they really know that you're saying

it with love for them and not in judgement of them,

it's a lot easier to hear. Also, if you're gentle,

I've found that to help (you want to " blast " them, and

tell them EVERYTHING, but they might only be able to

handle a little at a time). As you go on, you can tell

them more, but a little at a time.

Hope this helps!

- Adrienne

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

If a person with RA lives in denial, the pain will eventually get so

bad that he might be moved to seek treatment. But with diabetes, there

is no pain at first to signal that treatment is needed. So I think

that far too many diabetics live with denial. I often think that it

would be good, in a way, if pain were involved, so that people would

get treatment before diabetic complications set in.

Sue

On Jan 25, 2009, at 2:20 PM, Kate Fair wrote:

> Stan, I miss living in your neck of the rainforest. We lived in

> Bremerton when I was in the USN. I think you are on to something re:

> denial. I work in a family practice clinic and the docs say it's not

> unusual for patients to refuse to see a rheumatologist. They will

> offer to have them meet me - the enbrel posterchild- and they'll

> refuse, asking for more prednisone. I don't get it. Sure , no one

> wants to have ra, but denial sure is an ouchy place to stay.

[Guest guest]

That's a good point. I had almost exactly that experience when I was diagnosed.

I started working on my home after not being employed for a couple of months. I

thought the pain was simply a matter of me over doing it. After a few weeks it

got to the point where I knew something was really wrong. Also, I had a friend

who really was pre-diabetic and he did sort of did what you describe, even after

being diagnosed (he put it off seems like forever) he was convinced he could

somehow overcome the condition. I don't know what happened with him because we

kind of got out of touch. Pain can be a good thing, but now that I know I have

RA I wish it would stop too!

Stan,

Seattle, snow flurries.

-------------- Original message --------------

From: marysue <marysue@...>

If a person with RA lives in denial, the pain will eventually get so

bad that he might be moved to seek treatment. But with diabetes, there

is no pain at first to signal that treatment is needed. So I think

that far too many diabetics live with denial. I often think that it

would be good, in a way, if pain were involved, so that people would

get treatment before diabetic complications set in.

Sue

On Jan 25, 2009, at 2:20 PM, Kate Fair wrote:

> Stan, I miss living in your neck of the rainforest. We lived in

> Bremerton when I was in the USN. I think you are on to something re:

> denial. I work in a family practice clinic and the docs say it's not

> unusual for patients to refuse to see a rheumatologist. They will

> offer to have them meet me - the enbrel posterchild- and they'll

> refuse, asking for more prednisone. I don't get it. Sure , no one

> wants to have ra, but denial sure is an ouchy place to stay.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/20/09 3:46:23 PM, lucydes29@... writes:

I've had my Primary Dr, 2 residents & 2 attendings tell me it is RA.

_____________________________

Traci,

You should see a Rheumatologist. A primary care physician can only help you up to a certain point. Since you already have some erosion, you need to see a specialist.

I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis while in my 30s. I continued to work and did not go onto Social Security Disability until I was 49. You can life a full life with the disease, but you need to properly treat and control it in the early stages of diagnosis.

Good luck to you!

Clear skies,

BeingIrish

**************Dell Inspiron 15 Laptop: Now in 6 vibrant colors! Shop Dell’s full line of laptops. (http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222399266x1201456865/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubleclick.net%2Fclk%3B215073777%3B37034343%3Bf)

[Guest guest]

They will denial you because you have an education. You need to be stupid in order to get help from the government.

From: BeingIrish@... <BeingIrish@...>Subject: Re: DenialRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Wednesday, May 20, 2009, 5:57 PM

In a message dated 5/20/09 3:46:23 PM, lucydes29 (DOT) com writes:

I've had my Primary Dr, 2 residents & 2 attendings tell me it is RA.____________ _________ ________Traci,You should see a Rheumatologist. A primary care physician can only help you up to a certain point. Since you already have some erosion, you need to see a specialist.I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis while in my 30s. I continued to work and did not go onto Social Security Disability until I was 49. You can life a full life with the disease, but you need to properly treat and control it in the early stages of diagnosis.Good luck to you!Clear skies,BeingIrish************ **Dell Inspiron 15 Laptop: Now in 6 vibrant

colors! Shop Dell’s full line of laptops. (http://pr.atwola. com/promoclk/ 100126575x122239 9266x1201456865/ aol?redir= http:%2F% 2Fad.doubleclick .net%2Fclk% 3B215073777% 3B37034343% 3Bf)

[Guest guest]

Hi Traci,

My name is . I am 31 years old and have arthritis as well. I was diagnosed with it when I was 24. I now have moderate to severe RA. I am on injectable Methotrexate. I also just started Enbrel last week. I am also starting to get some damage. My knees are prtty much shot. My left wrist has fused together, but it hasn't affected me too much. My fingers are starting to give me trouble though. And it scares me a bit. I can understand how you are having trouble with being diagnosed. I felt that same way when I was diagnosed. When I was first diagnosed people were shocked as they thought it was a disease that only their grandparents got. I still have difficulty sometimes when I see other people sitting on the floor, which I now struggle with, or watching other people lead full active lives when I am having a flare up and am struggling with the stiffness and pain. The thing that keeps me going is the image of my grandpa and great

uncle who had severe cases of RA. My grandpa was a bit cheap and didn't take his meds like he was supposed to. He would cut his pills in half in order to make them last longer. My great uncle needed a specialized chair to help him get back into a standing position. I try not to let my RA get the best of me. But when I'm feeling down, I think o f them and it gets my butt going. I belong to the local Curves, which I have found helps alot. The machines are hydrolic and don't put alot of stress on the joints. The lady who owns this particular curves also has RA, so we'll often talk about the disease,how we're each doing, and the ups and down's we've had the last week. I have not met a lot of people our age who has been diaganosed with RA, which can be a bit frustrating at times. But feel free to email me if you ever want to chat. Welcome to the group.

jamie

From: lucydes29 <lucydes29@...>Subject: DenialRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Wednesday, April 29, 2009, 1:08 AM

Hi everyone, I am 30 years old & was diagnosed with RA in 2007. I am having so much trouble accepting the fact that I have it. I am always questioning whether or not I am taking the right meds for the right diease. I've had my Primary Dr, 2 residents & 2 attendings tell me it is RA. I have erosions & a little bit of deformities already. It is like I need something else to confirm the diagnosis. If anyone can share some support that would be great.Sincerely,Traci

[Guest guest]

Hello lucydes 29 and thanks for sharing I,ve been living with my disease since I was a teenager I,m 46 know It started in my right foot and thumb know its in my right elbow I put analgesic ointment on it it eases the pain a little but when I go to bed and I try to move it in my sleep it is very painful. I don,t have health insurance and trying to get disability they say I need to go work parttime and maybe they would consider assisting me.Keep the emails coming.

From: lucydes29 <lucydes29@...>Subject: DenialRheumatoid Arthritis Date: Wednesday, April 29, 2009, 2:08 AM

Hi everyone, I am 30 years old & was diagnosed with RA in 2007. I am having so much trouble accepting the fact that I have it. I am always questioning whether or not I am taking the right meds for the right diease. I've had my Primary Dr, 2 residents & 2 attendings tell me it is RA. I have erosions & a little bit of deformities already. It is like I need something else to confirm the diagnosis. If anyone can share some support that would be great.Sincerely,Traci

[Guest guest]

I don’t know the qualifications of the doctors you have

seen but few doctors other than board-certified rheumatologists are able to

either diagnose or treat RA effectively. The American College of

Rheumatology has seven criteria for diagnosing RA but it is so variable that meeting

any four of the criteria is sufficient for a positive diagnosis. In

addition, RA is an inflammatory disease so a sufficient dose of a strong

anti-inflammatory like Prednisone is quite likely to give temporary relief but

there are other treatments more effective at slowing or stopping permanent

joint damage. If you do indeed have RA it is important to get early

and aggressive treatment to reduce the risk of permanent joint damage. If

you refuse treatment, a wheel chair might the additional confirmation you ask

about. I hope you get effective treatment instead of permanent

damage. God bless.

RA Criteria adapted from American College of Rheumatology

(Any 4 qualify for positive diagnosis)

1. Morning stiffness, lasting for at least an hour, present

daily for at least 6 weeks

2. Arthritis of 3 or more joints, lasting for at least 6 weeks

3. Arthritis of the hand joints, lasting for at least 6 weeks

4. Symmetric arthritis, lasting for at least 6 weeks

5. Rheumatoid nodules

6. Positive rheumatoid factor (blood test)

7. Joint changes on x-ray

From:

Rheumatoid Arthritis

[mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of lucydes29

Sent: Tuesday, April 28, 2009 11:09 PM

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Subject: Denial

Hi everyone, I am 30 years old & was

diagnosed with RA in 2007. I am having so much trouble accepting the fact that

I have it. I am always questioning whether or not I am taking the right meds

for the right diease. I've had my Primary Dr, 2 residents & 2 attendings

tell me it is RA. I have erosions & a little bit of deformities already. It

is like I need something else to confirm the diagnosis. If anyone can share

some support that would be great.

Sincerely,

Traci

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06:22:00

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/22/09 12:51:49 AM, dbargad@... writes:

To make sure you do have RA you must see a Licensed Rheumatologist.

Your Internist must give you a referral to one. An internist alone is

not qualified to confirm it.

_________________________________

At HMOs, primary care physicians routinely diagnose and treat mild rheumatoid arthritis, without consulting a rheumatologist. It's only when a person's condition worsens that the individual is sent to a specialist.

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[Guest guest]

To make sure you do have RA you must see a Licensed Rheumatologist.

Your Internist must give you a referral to one. An internist alone is

not qualified to confirm it. After a firm and definite diagnosis,

your Rheumatologist will CONSULT with your Internist if needed to

begin your regime. You must treat your disease ASAP to avoid further

damage. Yours, Deborah

On Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 2:08 AM, lucydes29 <lucydes29@...> wrote:

>

>

> Hi everyone, I am 30 years old & was diagnosed with RA in 2007. I am having

> so much trouble accepting the fact that I have it. I am always questioning

> whether or not I am taking the right meds for the right diease. I've had my

> Primary Dr, 2 residents & 2 attendings tell me it is RA. I have erosions & a

> little bit of deformities already. It is like I need something else to

> confirm the diagnosis. If anyone can share some support that would be great.

>

> Sincerely,

> Traci

>

>

[Guest guest]

That’s why  I don’t like HMOs.  They manage costs, not health. 

God bless.

From:

Rheumatoid Arthritis

[mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of BeingIrish@...

Sent: Friday, May 22, 2009 1:37 AM

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Subject: Re: Denial

In a message dated 5/22/09 12:51:49 AM, dbargad@... writes:

To make sure you do have RA you must see a Licensed

Rheumatologist.

Your Internist must give you a referral to one. An internist alone is

not qualified to confirm it.

_________________________________

At HMOs, primary care physicians routinely diagnose and treat mild rheumatoid

arthritis, without consulting a rheumatologist. It's only when a person's

condition worsens that the individual is sent to a specialist.

**************

Kick start your favorite grad’s career with mobile email for under $50.

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100122638x1221971194x1201441917/aol?redir==http://www.getpeek.com/aol)

No virus

found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 8.5.339 / Virus Database: 270.12.36/2126 - Release Date: 05/21/09 06:22:00