Depression

[Guest guest]

Old Man Pain

I feel trapped, trapped by the old man within my bones. The young man within feels he’s been imprisoned. Imprisoned behind a wall of pain, that pain, oh that pain, old man pain. He shows no mercy, even when I cry “enough” he has no compassion; no sympathy, he just continues to build those walls that threaten to crush the young man within.

He can be deceiving and cynical in his actions, sometimes hiding away, leaving the prison door ajar. Then just as a glimmer of hope appears on the young mans face, old man jumps out to slam the door closed again.

There were days the young man would sit in the corner of his prison cell, rarely trying to look beyond the door. Old man had been torturing him for nearly 16 years, the young man’s heart and soul nearly given over.

The internal battle a losing one for both his bones and mind. The old man has ensured the young man can no longer run and jump; thoughts of a bright future, a career given over to thoughts of depression and how to get up out of the chair.

Recently I looked within for the young man, he turned his head and there looking back at me was a middle aged man. His body ravaged by the old man and years past, then with a look of determination he said “never give up, always keep trying”.

It was then that I realized that even though I couldn’t get the old man out of my bones, I didn’t need to give over my heart, soul and mind to the old man. That I needed to look beyond the old man, to clear my mind of doubts, never give up; and realized I’ve had the key to the prison door all along.

Pitcher

I wrote this in a very depressed state a few years ago. Yes depression does go hand in hand with arthritis and no I don't take antidepressantes and yes I do like a drink. But in the end I've tried to keep an attitude that I'm not going to give in to it. That I'm going to laugh and be positive, sure there are still going to be days that i'm down really down but I still smile. I always make tasks for myself to achieve each day so that at the end of it I can feel I've accomplished something and moved forward. Just small things, getting my socks on without my daughters help LOL. Next project a 5 metre shed! not sure how but am sure I will. Found that the meds have turned me into a emotional person. Never cried at sad movies now I can cry at sad commercials. Where will it end! smiling at yaDownload the new Windows Live Looking for a place to manage all your online stuff?