Jealousy

[Guest guest]

Hi Tina,

Tell him " thats what happend when you marry a beautiful

lady! "

You are still the same person that he married and your

feelings I am sure are still the same towards him. You are

happy and that is great!

He will be fine he is just dealing with it normally tell

him to put the green eyed monster to bed !

--- Cassie <tandl2000@...> wrote:

> Has anyone had to deal with a loved one's growing

> jealousy as they started to look and feel better? My

> husband has been complimenting me quite a lot, as well as

> groping <G>, saying that he definitely sees changes in my

> body happening. He's also really noticed a change in the

> way I feel about myself, too. I hold my head higher, I

> step livelier and am more outgoing than before. However,

> he also seems to be getting a bit more jealous as time

> goes by, jokingly making comments about me flirting with

> others, but it seems there's something behind the joking

> tone. I have to go on several trips out of town by

> myself during the next several months, and although he

> never cared before, even if I shared a hotel room with

> other guys, it seems he's starting to become more

> bothered by me going. He always trusted me before, so

> I'm wondering if he just trusted me because he thought

> that no one else would want me when I was a fat cow. Any

> advice?

>

> Tina

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Talk with him openly about it. You've already shared how much he loves you.

Change is always threatening or at least strange (until you get used to the

new relationship) and getting feelings expressed and on top of the table

usually is better than letting them get worse. (No offense intended, but

I'm not sure I'd ever get comfortable with my wife sharing a hotel room with

a man but then that's my prudish upbringing showing. And a company would be

crazy from a legal standpoint, to permit it much less require it.) Enjoy

all the attention with those great results! All the best! Kit

[Guest guest]

>(No offense intended, but

>I'm not sure I'd ever get comfortable with my wife sharing a hotel room with

>a man but then that's my prudish upbringing showing. And a company would be

>crazy from a legal standpoint, to permit it much less require it.) Enjoy

>all the attention with those great results! All the best! Kit

Heheh, its my company. I'm self-employed. Its not that he didn't care or

anything like that. He was proud that he could trust me, that he allowed

himself to trust me, to know that nothing was going to happen. And since being a

self-employed freelance journalist isn't all that lucrative, it helped with the

bills. He's just made some joking comments recently about not letting me

out of his site anymore that has me worried. I'm sure its probably nothing, I

just would rather nip it in the bud before it grows into something.

Tina

[Guest guest]

< No offense intended, but I'm not sure I'd ever get comfortable with

my wife sharing a hotel room with a man but then that's my prudish

upbringing showing. >

Kit, I don't think that's prudish at all. It's simply recognizing

that people are people and thus susceptible to temptation, no matter

how sterling their character has been up to that point. My

girlfriend's an actress but she knows I wouldn't want her doing any

nude love scenes, and she agrees.

Cheers,

Andy

[Guest guest]

Hi... I have no advice just an " I feel your pain " as my Theresa, who is

almost 5 is very jealous of Hannah (DS 8) and every single day starts with a

shout between the two of them. Now when they are playing together well, the

world is a sunny place, but you can't believe how much meanness can pass

between

2 people so small.

Connie

In a message dated 7/30/2007 5:25:45 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

tylereric1999@... writes:

I'm having a very hard time right now. I have 2 boys. Tyler is 12

and is 8(DS). Tyler is so jealous of right now. He just

keeps saying that gets everything and he gets nothing. gets

lots of attention from family and friends because of the DS. He loves

everyone and everyone loves him. I try to make sure that Tyler isn't

left out. If gets a compliment, I try to give Tyler one too.

But Tyler never wants to spend time with and when he does, it's

usually just a fight. He never wants to share any of his video games

with him, even if he isn't playing them. He purposely does things to

annoy him. Then when does the same back to him, that's when the

conflict of he gets everything and I get nothing begins. I can't even

go anywhere with them for them arguing and fighting, litterally

fighting! Can anyone give me any advice on what to do?

Thanks,

, Tyler 12, 8(DS)

************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at

http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour

[Guest guest]

,

I have the same problem with Maverick's older brother. He is only 17 months

older than Mav.

It was fine when they were younger, but about the age that your boys are now..

the jealousy started and it hasn't stopped. Levi could be great with him if he

wanted to, and he sure never let anyone pick on him,, but at home, he did.

He always was upset that Mav didn't have to do as much as him, or got away with

stuff that he didn't. And the fact is.. there ARE different standards. Each

child has expectations that we know they can be successful at.. Mav's were much

different than Levi's.

I wish I could tell you it would be better, but Levi is 18 and not living at

home and when he comes home Maverick is SO excited to see him and he just blows

him off.

I asked my older daughter if she felt that way but she didn't. It's just my

son's personality. We have 8 children and Levi is the only one who is jealous.

[Guest guest]

In this month's issue of MOSAIC WORLD, we will be featuring this specific

problem! When doing research for this subject, we came across information from

Disability Solutions. This is a fantastic organization with wonderful

newsletters! In Volume 2 Issue 3 the newsletter focus' on Brothers and Sisters.

The link is http://www.disabilitysolutions.org/newsletters/volume2.html

I hope this helps. I know it can be difficult raising children and when one

has a special need it makes it more difficult! One thing that I always do with

my 5 boys is make sure they know how very special they are to me. Children just

need to know that you are not playing favorites and that what they do and who

they are is very important to you. Each day I tell my kids, " You are my favorite

(name) " This lets them know that I do value who they are and what they do.

I used to find myself making everyone else wait while my son with MDS was

telling me something or doing something. Finally, I saw that I wasn't ever

making him wait when his brothers were telling me something or doing something.

It is important to treat them equally. If you expect one to do something then

you have to expect the other to do the same.

Hope this helps

Kristy

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I can't give you much more than sympathy and understanding.... my almost

12 year old daughter is horribly jealous of her almost 8 year old sister

(neither with DS). I don't understand why is so jealous of Sammy,

and we have tried to understand to no avail. is the sweetest

girl, and is the one everyone raves about.... so nice, kind, good with

little kids, volunteers at girl scout camp, teaches vacation bible

school at church, pretty, smart, in the advanced band at school, dances,

has lots of friends, is invited to friends' houses and to many

activities with friends... if you've ever seen a kid with everything

going for them, it's her :-) Yet, for some reason, she thinks Sammy

gets all the attention (she does not) because she plays competetive

soccer. Sammy is a " spirited " child who can be very fun or very

difficult (with not too much in between). She is a tomboy, and lots of

soccer is a way for her to connect and relate to other girls with

similar dispositions and needs. It's pretty much her only activity

(although it's frequent), but we spend no more time driving her to

soccer than we do to dance (tap and jazz), volleyball, church

groups, etc. Sammy is a great kid too, and acts her age ( 4 years

younger than her sister), which drives nuts too.... we have said

more than once " Sammy is no more stupid/irritating/whatever than you

were at this age, but YOU didn't have anyone older to tell you how

stupid/irritating/whatever YOU were! " No response. No one would

believe it if they knew that she can hardly be in the same room

with Sammy without starting a fight, saying something nasty to her, or

just plain bickering to the point we are all miserable. DH took them on

a bike ride the other evening, and was livid by the time they got

home... they managed to bicker (they had to yell over the traffic)

pretty much the entire ride.... like he told them " what is there to talk

about on a bike ride... just ride! " Interestingly, we don't see this

with her sister with DS, though we have always tried to treat

as much like " anyone else in the family " as we could.

I think the tween age is difficult for both girls and boys, so I will

hope that both my and your Tyler (and all the rest at this stage)

mature and see the good in their siblings, or at least learn to control

what they say and do more. All you can do is keep trying,

, mom to (11), (9 DS), and Sammy (7)

tylereric1999 wrote:

> I'm having a very hard time right now. I have 2 boys. Tyler is 12

> and is 8(DS). Tyler is so jealous of right now. He just

> keeps saying that gets everything and he gets nothing. gets

> lots of attention from family and friends because of the DS. He loves

> everyone and everyone loves him. I try to make sure that Tyler isn't

> left out. If gets a compliment, I try to give Tyler one too.

> But Tyler never wants to spend time with and when he does, it's

> usually just a fight. He never wants to share any of his video games

> with him, even if he isn't playing them. He purposely does things to

> annoy him. Then when does the same back to him, that's when the

> conflict of he gets everything and I get nothing begins. I can't even

> go anywhere with them for them arguing and fighting, litterally

> fighting! Can anyone give me any advice on what to do?

>

> Thanks,

> , Tyler 12, 8(DS)

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have always looked at jealousy as something in me trying to get my attention because I was not getting my needs met. Once I looked at what needs I wanted to be met, a discussion could occur that strengthened rather than weakened the relationship. As long as I did not beat myself up for having the feeling, I could treat it as my higher self trying to talk to me.Kris In Meditation, I wait; In Affirmation, I stand; In Gratitude I walk, in Joy I fly.Please join me in making a difference. Think before you print.