How to throw it all away

December 18, 2008

http://www.southbergenite.com/NC/0/2076.html

(by Lamendola - December 17, 2008)

‘You never replicate your first high. That’s the hitch.’

For years, Dan knew what it meant to be down and out, literally to the

extreme. He stole, betrayed the trust of friends and loved ones and even

jeopardized his own human health. He missed out on a chance to make it big

playing professional football. The benefit at the time was his ability to score

drugs and then use them to get as high as possible. He liked to drink, so much

that he’s injured numerous people drunk driving. At the time he was using or

drinking his life away, it was the only thing that mattered to him.

That was over 20 years ago however. Now , a formidable, muscular man

sporting a thick goatee and long golden ponytail, looks back and laments his

past, but in the process, he finds his recollections to be beneficial to the

youth of today. Last week, used his life experiences to urge students at

Lyndhurst High School to not repeat his mistakes of the past. It was a talk that

brought a stark reality to most of the students, some drawn to clenching their

friends’ hands, some to tears.

Dan , a former aspiring pro football player ruined his potential career by

heavily abusing alcohol and drugs. He now speaks to communities nationwide on

the effects a potent addiction can have. Below, he spoke last week to parents

and students in Lyndhurst.

" It was really powerful, I think everyone had some type of reaction to it, " said

junior a Mendoza who in just weeks will be eligible for her license when

she turns 17, the same critical stage in life when began to see his

greatest demise.

started drinking when he was only 14. By high school, the upstate New York

all-state football offensive back had a dream, to play professional football. By

the time he was given a scholarship to play at the University of Missouri

however, he had already clipped a man while driving drunk at the age of 16. Soon

after the scholarship, he cruised through a red light drunk, hitting a family of

four, sending to twin babies to the hospital, one with a fractured leg, the

other with a broken arm. The problem is, never learned from his mistakes.

In each incident, his father arrived at the police station and convinced the

police to not tarnish the name of a rising star, a proven hometown hero. He was

set free with no charges.

" You inherit the gene of addiction. In my family, you deal with success the same

way you mourn something, you drink. " said , of the cycle of addicts in his

family and father’s enabling of his alcohol inducement. " What was strange about

me, I could out-drink everybody and I was so proud of that. "

One night after partying at a bar celebrating a tryout and letter of intent with

the Kansas City Chiefs he jumped on the hood of his car while his friend was

driving it. The friend, a former pro-catcher for the Montreal Expos, hit the

brakes. split his head open and was in a coma for seven days. His football

career was over.

Then came the drugs. After landing a teaching and coaching job, his downfall got

even greater. It started with coke, progressed to acid, mushrooms, steroids and

more cocaine. He’d wake up to four lines every morning, losing jobs here, lying

to get them there. However, no matter how high he was, he always wanted to see

his son who lived with his ex-wife. Every time he had him, he screwed up,

got high, got drunk and further distanced himself from .

" You can never, never replicate your first high, " said . " You do more and

more and more. That’s the hitch. "

After hitting near rock bottom after his home was raided by the State Police and

his $10,000 worth of cocaine was never found, he did a stint in rehab, but as

soon as he got out, the enabling of his addictive lifestyle persisted.

" Who’s out front? Mom and dad with a brand new sports car, how sick is that?, "

said .

Then came Oct. 6, 1986...the last day he would pick up a drink, eat a mushroom

or snort a line. His parents finally turned their backs on him by this point

after he robbed nearly everything of value from their home. But it was that

October, when he brought to a bowling alley where all the other little

boys and fathers were having fun. But was " wasted " on mushrooms and Jack

s. He never brought home that night because he fell on the alley,

splitting his head open once again. Reality of who he had become finally set in.

’ most shocking reality to drug use however is where he and his family

stand today, even after all the success of sobriety. He’s slowly dying from the

effects of Hepatitis C, a disease contracted from his use of shared, dirty

needles and drug paraphernalia from his days gone awry. The doctors originally

told him they thought he had AIDS after battling a deep spell of convulsive

sweats following one of his 17 knee surgeries. He later found out it was

Hepatitis C. He now has 50-percent liver capacity, the doctors are ready to take

out his dysfunctional spleen and his Hepatitis C count numbers over two million.

He was remarried after he got his life back on track, even had a little daughter

named Serenity. He has made amends with . has pledged to break the

cycle of addiction. He graduated as an engineer from the University of Buffalo.

Serenity and his wife however still live with ’ past addiction. They both

have tested positive for Hepatitis C.

" I had stolen her choice, " said said of his daughter. " If you choose to

use, it will come back to get you. "

As students left ’ talk, his message sent shock waves through the halls.

Junior Katelyn Cunniff said she could see the emotion on most people’s faces as

they made their way to their last class of the day, many walking silently, and

if any were talking, they were talking about the message sent to them.

" I think it will have some people re-thinking what they might do or maybe what

they have already done, " said Cunniff, who sees peer pressure, as was

heavily influenced by, as a main attribute to drug or alcohol use in Lyndhurst.

" He wasn’t preaching to us, he wasn’t telling us to not do this or not do that,

he was just being honest about what happens. "

December 18, 2008