Re: touching

[Guest guest]

thanks - sounds like we are dealing with the same things and in similar ways

let's hope it goes away soon! :-)

=====================

From: Jill <thrill@...>

Date: 2008/01/15 Tue PM 06:56:09 CST

Down Syndrome Treatment

Subject: Re: touching

This has been a problem for us too.  Mac's teachers are the ones that

brought it to my attention--I knew he would " do it " when bored at home, but

didn't realize he was doing it in school.  I also thought the problem at

school could be quickly solved by making sure he wore jeans vs. sweats, but they

said it didn't really matter as he " touched " in almost anything he wore.  I

wrote a social story and read it to him a couple of times a week and we talk

about not touching our privates at school or the store,  only at home in the

bathroom or bedroom, etc...   The OT also sent home a type of premade

social story that is called " Touching Tim " --we've also read that a few

times.  At school they are working on feet on floor, legs under desk,

hand/arms on desk as much as possible in the classroom.  It isn't 100% but

it's better than it was.  Good luck!! JillMom to Mac (9 yrs., 4th grade,

Ds) and Kit (6 yrs., K, Ds)  touching

Hello all -

My 10 year old son w/ Ds is doing some personal " touching " if you know what I

mean. My concern is he doesn't seem to hide to do it and will do in front of

others. He hasn't taken it to " completion " that I know if (again if you know

what I mean). I had an email from his Special Needs teacher that she is

concerned about the bathrooms at school.

I am only letting him wear jeans at school - seems to make the touchy feely

harder to do than with sweats or athletic pants. We are using verbal prompts

of " no touching. "

Any advice or other ideas? Things that worked for others?

[Guest guest]



PRIVACY is the key word here....teach PRIVACY

It's ok to touch yourself IN YOUR ROOM WITH THE DOOR CLOSED!!

For everybody here that needs to start the minute your kids even think it feels the slightest bit good...then they know that they CAN do it, and WHERE it is ok to do it...

Also, buy Terri Couwenhoven's book Teaching Children with Down syndrome about their Bodies BOUNDARIES and Sexuality

The teachers need to tell your kids 'that is ok at home, but not here at school---you need privacy'.

Next part...do you give your kids privacy? In the bathroom, while showering, or do they still need assistance? KNOCK before you enter a room (after they learn it's ok in their bedroom with the door closed you'd better knock..I walked in a few things I didn't want to see!) TELL THEM I'm giving you privacy, call me when you need me to help you (wipe, or shampoo hair, or whatever) then leave and close the door.

Tell them 'I'm going to the bathroom, and I need PRIVACY and will have the door closed." Teach privacy by modeling it.

I went to Terri's workshop a few years ago and she said she's called out to group homes that have problems with their residents having sex in the park! Well, they aren't allowed to have it in the group home, no doors on the bedrooms or bathrooms in one she was in (because once somebody flushed too much tp and clogged the toilet, so nobody gets privacy anymore) So, they have no concept of privacy, so why not 'do it' in the park next to the swing set!

Good luck!!

, Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

touching

Hello all - My 10 year old son w/ Ds is doing some personal "touching" if you know what I mean. My concern is he doesn't seem to hide to do it and will do in front of others. He hasn't taken it to "completion" that I know if (again if you know what I mean). I had an email from his Special Needs teacher that she is concerned about the bathrooms at school.I am only letting him wear jeans at school - seems to make the touchy feely harder to do than with sweats or athletic pants. We are using verbal prompts of "no touching."Any advice or other ideas? Things that worked for others?

[Guest guest]

we do work on the privacy thing at home and he uses the restroom independantly

at school but these are great tips and thanks for the book title - off to find

that one!

=====================

From: McElwee <sandra.mcelwee@...>

Date: 2008/01/15 Tue PM 07:18:55 CST

Down Syndrome Treatment

Subject: Re: touching

PRIVACY is the key word here....teach PRIVACY It's ok to touch yourself

IN YOUR ROOM WITH THE DOOR CLOSED!! For everybody here that needs to start

the minute your kids even think it feels the slightest bit good...then they know

that they CAN do it, and WHERE it is ok to do it... Also, buy Terri

Couwenhoven's book Teaching Children with Down syndrome about their Bodies

BOUNDARIES and Sexuality The teachers need to tell your kids 'that is ok at

home, but not here at school---you need privacy'. Next part...do you give

your kids privacy? In the bathroom, while showering, or do they still need

assistance?  KNOCK before you enter a room (after they learn it's ok in their

bedroom with the door closed you'd better knock..I walked in a few things I

didn't want to see!)  TELL THEM I'm giving you privacy, call me when you need

me to help you (wipe, or shampoo hair, or whatever) then leave and close the

door. Tell them 'I'm going to the bathroom, and I need PRIVACY and will have

the door closed. "   Teach privacy by modeling it. I went to Terri's

workshop a few years ago and she said she's called out to group homes that have

problems with their residents having sex in the park!  Well, they aren't

allowed to have it in the group home, no doors on the bedrooms or bathrooms in

one she was in (because once somebody flushed too much tp and clogged the

toilet, so nobody gets privacy anymore)  So, they have no concept of privacy,

so why not 'do it' in the park next to the swing set! Good luck!! ,

Mom to 14, DS, Southern California

To succeed in life,

you need three things:

a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

~ Reba McIntyre  

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a

Prenatal Diagnosis

http://www.leeworks.net/DDS/

What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosis

http://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html touching

Hello all -

My 10 year old son w/ Ds is doing some personal " touching " if you know what

I mean. My concern is he doesn't seem to hide to do it and will do in front

of others. He hasn't taken it to " completion " that I know if (again if you

know what I mean). I had an email from his Special Needs teacher that she is

concerned about the bathrooms at school.

I am only letting him wear jeans at school - seems to make the touchy feely

harder to do than with sweats or athletic pants. We are using verbal prompts

of " no touching. "

Any advice or other ideas? Things that worked for others?

[Guest guest]



When Eleanor was in 4th grade they had the lecture on touching and reporting it.

Immediately thereafter I took her to Chicago for a TASH Conference. It was December and dark

when we boarded the van for transport into the city. The van had a two big steps up to a seat

and we had the last space right on the edge. Everyone in the van was jet lagged, impatient, etc.

Oh, and silent.

Eleanor squirmed into the space right on the edge above the stairs and I put my arm around her shoulder to hold

her in and keep her from falling off the seat. When I did she said in her shrillest and most victimized

voice. "Don't touch me there, that's a private place."

The all female passengers didn't know whether to mace me or beat me with their shoes.

A tense moment.

touching

Hello all - My 10 year old son w/ Ds is doing some personal "touching" if you know what I mean. My concern is he doesn't seem to hide to do it and will do in front of others. He hasn't taken it to "completion" that I know if (again if you know what I mean). I had an email from his Special Needs teacher that she is concerned about the bathrooms at school.I am only letting him wear jeans at school - seems to make the touchy feely harder to do than with sweats or athletic pants. We are using verbal prompts of "no touching."Any advice or other ideas? Things that worked for others?

[Guest guest]

Might want to be careful where you leave that book when you get

it home;-) I bought it for our parent group library, and when I looked through

it, was surprised to see ‘how to do it’ drawings of naked men and women….so

just an fyi.

KathyR

From:

Down Syndrome Treatment

[mailto:Down Syndrome Treatment ] On Behalf Of

Tutwiler

Sent: Tuesday, January 15, 2008 8:24 PM

Down Syndrome Treatment

Subject: Re: Re: touching

we do work on the privacy thing at home and he

uses the restroom independantly at school but these are great tips and thanks

for the book title - off to find that one!

=====================

From: McElwee <sandra.mcelwee@...>

Date: 2008/01/15 Tue PM 07:18:55 CST

Down Syndrome Treatment

Subject: Re: touching

PRIVACY is the key word here....teach PRIVACY It's ok to touch

yourself IN YOUR ROOM WITH THE DOOR CLOSED!! For everybody here that

needs to start the minute your kids even think it feels the slightest bit

good...then they know that they CAN do it, and WHERE it is ok to do

it... Also, buy Terri Couwenhoven's book Teaching Children with Down

syndrome about their Bodies BOUNDARIES and Sexuality The teachers need to

tell your kids 'that is ok at home, but not here at school---you need

privacy'. Next part...do you give your kids privacy? In the bathroom,

while showering, or do they still need assistance? KNOCK before you

enter a room (after they learn it's ok in their bedroom with the door closed

you'd better knock..I walked in a few things I didn't want to see!)Â TELL

THEM I'm giving you privacy, call me when you need me to help you (wipe, or

shampoo hair, or whatever) then leave and close the door. Tell them 'I'm

going to the bathroom, and I need PRIVACY and will have the door closed. " Â

Teach privacy by modeling it. I went to Terri's workshop a few years ago

and she said she's called out to group homes that have problems with their

residents having sex in the park! Well, they aren't allowed to have it

in the group home, no doors on the bedrooms or bathrooms in one she was in

(because once somebody flushed too much tp and clogged the toilet, so nobody

gets privacy anymore)Â So, they have no concept of privacy, so why not

'do it' in the park next to the swing set! Good luck!! , Mom

to 14, DS, Southern California

To succeed in life,

you need three things:

a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

~ Reba McIntyre Â

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a

Prenatal Diagnosis

http://www.leeworks.net/DDS/

What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosis

http://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

touching

Hello all -

My 10 year old son w/ Ds is doing some personal " touching " if you

know what I mean. My concern is he doesn't seem to hide to do it and will do in

front of others. He hasn't taken it to " completion " that I know if

(again if you know what I mean). I had an email from his Special Needs teacher

that she is concerned about the bathrooms at school.

I am only letting him wear jeans at school - seems to make the touchy feely

harder to do than with sweats or athletic pants. We are using verbal prompts of

" no touching. "

Any advice or other ideas? Things that worked for others?

[Guest guest]



HAHAHAHA~

Great story, I love that missing discrimination gene in our kids....Sometimes....

, Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

touching

Hello all - My 10 year old son w/ Ds is doing some personal "touching" if you know what I mean. My concern is he doesn't seem to hide to do it and will do in front of others. He hasn't taken it to "completion" that I know if (again if you know what I mean). I had an email from his Special Needs teacher that she is concerned about the bathrooms at school.I am only letting him wear jeans at school - seems to make the touchy feely harder to do than with sweats or athletic pants. We are using verbal prompts of "no touching."Any advice or other ideas? Things that worked for others?

[Guest guest]

wow - thanks for the tip! Not only do I have the 10 yr old w/ Ds but a VERY nosy

8 year old daughter!!

=====================

From: Kathy Ratkiewicz <Kathy_R@...>

Date: 2008/01/15 Tue PM 08:42:48 CST

Down Syndrome Treatment

Subject: RE: Re: touching

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<p class= " MsoNormal " ><span style= " font-size:14.0pt;color:#1F497D; " >Might want to

be careful where you leave that book when you get

it home;-) I bought it for our parent group library, and when I looked through

it, was surprised to see ‘how to do it’ drawings of naked men and

women….so

just an fyi. <o></o></span></p>

<p class= " MsoNormal " ><span

style= " font-size:14.0pt;color:#1F497D; " >KathyR<o></o></span></p>

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<p class= " MsoNormal " ><b><span style= " font-size:10.0pt; " >From:</span></b><span

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DownSyndromeInfoExc<wbr>hange@group<wbr>s.com

[mailto:DownSyndrom<wbr>eInfoExchange@<wbr>groups.<wbr>com] <b>On Behalf Of

</b>

Tutwiler<br>

<b>Sent:</b> Tuesday, January 15, 2008 8:24 PM<br>

<b>To:</b> DownSyndromeInfoExc<wbr>hange@group<wbr>s.com<br>

<b>Subject:</b> Re: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoEx<wbr>change]

touching<o></o></span></p>

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<p class= " MsoNormal " ><o> </o></p>

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<p>we do work on the privacy thing at home and he

uses the restroom independantly at school but these are great tips and thanks

for the book title - off to find that one! <br>

<br>

============<wbr>=========<br>

From: McElwee <<a

href= " mailto:sandra.mcelwee%40cox.net " >sandra.mcelwee@<wbr>cox.net</a>><br>

Date: 2008/01/15 Tue PM 07:18:55 CST<br>

<a

href= " mailto:Down Syndrome Treatment%40 " >DownSyndromeInfoExc<wbr\

>hange@group<wbr>s.com</a><br>

Subject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoEx<wbr>change] touching<br>

<br>

PRIVACY is the key word here....teach PRIVACY It's ok to

touch

yourself IN YOUR ROOM WITH THE DOOR CLOSED!! For everybody here that

needs to start the minute your kids even think it feels the slightest bit

good...then they know that they CAN do it, and WHERE it is ok to do

it... Also, buy Terri Couwenhoven'<wbr>s book Teaching Children with Down

syndrome about their Bodies BOUNDARIES and Sexuality The teachers need to

tell your kids 'that is ok at home, but not here at school---you need

privacy'. Next part...do you give your kids privacy? In the bathroom,

while showering, or do they still need assistance?  KNOCK before you

enter a room (after they learn it's ok in their bedroom with the door closed

you'd better knock..I walked in a few things I didn't want to see!)  TELL

THEM I'm giving you privacy, call me when you need me to help you (wipe, or

shampoo hair, or whatever) then leave and close the door. Tell them 'I'm

going to the bathroom, and I need PRIVACY and will have the door

closed. "  

Teach privacy by modeling it. I went to Terri's workshop a few years ago

and she said she's called out to group homes that have problems with their

residents having sex in the park!  Well, they aren't allowed to have it

in the group home, no doors on the bedrooms or bathrooms in one she was in

(because once somebody flushed too much tp and clogged the toilet, so nobody

gets privacy anymore)  So, they have no concept of privacy, so why not

'do it' in the park next to the swing set! Good luck!! , Mom

to 14, DS, Southern California<br>

To succeed in life,<br>

you need three things:<br>

a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.<br>

~ Reba McIntyre  <br>

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a

Prenatal Diagnosis<br>

<a href= " http://www.leeworks.net/DDS/ " >http://www.leeworks<wbr>.net/DDS/</a><br>

What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosis<br>

<a

href= " http://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html " >http://www.leeworks<wbr>.net/DDS/\

<wbr>speech.html</a>

[DownSyndromeInfoEx<wbr>change]

touching <br>

<br>

Hello all - <br>

<br>

My 10 year old son w/ Ds is doing some personal " touching " if you

know what I mean. My concern is he doesn't seem to hide to do it and will do in

front of others. He hasn't taken it to " completion " that I know if

(again if you know what I mean). I had an email from his Special Needs teacher

that she is concerned about the bathrooms at school.<br>

<br>

I am only letting him wear jeans at school - seems to make the touchy feely

harder to do than with sweats or athletic pants. We are using verbal prompts of

" no touching. " <br>

<br>

Any advice or other ideas? Things that worked for others?<br>

<br>

<br>

<br>

<br>

<o></o></p>

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[Guest guest]

yeah - reminded me of a time when was about 5 and we had been working on

" no pushing " - I put my hand on his back to guide him out of the door and he

stopped, put his hands on his hips and looked at me and very seriously and

sternly said " Mommy, no pushing, stop pushing! " :-)

=====================

From: McElwee <sandra.mcelwee@...>

Date: 2008/01/15 Tue PM 09:01:27 CST

Down Syndrome Treatment

Subject: Re: touching

HAHAHAHA~Great story, I love that missing discrimination gene in our

kids....Sometimes...., Mom to 14, DS, Southern California

To succeed in life,

you need three things:

a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

~ Reba McIntyre  

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a

Prenatal Diagnosis

http://www.leeworks.net/DDS/

What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosis

http://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

touching

Hello all -

My 10 year old son w/ Ds is doing some personal " touching " if you know

what I mean. My concern is he doesn't seem to hide to do it and will do in

front of others. He hasn't taken it to " completion " that I know if (again

if you know what I mean). I had an email from his Special Needs teacher

that she is concerned about the bathrooms at school.

I am only letting him wear jeans at school - seems to make the touchy

feely harder to do than with sweats or athletic pants. We are using verbal

prompts of " no touching. "

Any advice or other ideas? Things that worked for others?