Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 hi katie, im one of those old single guys. and ive been dating a bit since they stuck this thing in me last march. i generally give a lady a chance to like me before i tell her the heavy stuff. some walk away, some dont. havent found one yet that wants to stay. ce'st levie bob in pa when they give you lemons , make lemonade Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 i kinda think that you should tell the guy your seeing. I mean if he has a problem with it then hes not worth your time. wouldnt you rather find that out now then later after you are totally inlove with him Love Always Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 hi all, i still have mixed feelings after reading all the replys to the dating thing. when i came home from the hospital last march. some people that heard of what had happened to me caused them to treat me like a leper. everybody seemed to be so afraid that i was going to drop dead in front of them. so, their natural instinct was to shy away from me. after a while people started feeling more comfortable in my presence, and it was so obvious seeing those that werent. the couple zaps ive had didnt knock me unconscious, just scared the heck out of me. and on the first or second date, im not sure its anyones business unless, as one just posted, your zaps are frequent. i certainly dont tell everyone i meet about the icd. whether it be a date or a new aquaintance it doesnt matter. i do agree that it is something that shouldnt be kept secret if the relationship looks like it may develop into something serious. bob in pa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 hi jes, i think maybe you have made a good point. with my ejection fraction having climbed from 10 to 35 and me feeling so much better there is a good possiblility im becoming a bit apathetic. sure dont need a zap to remind me. thats why i like this site and the people. bob in pa........ im to fat so i use splenda instead of sugar to make my lemonade......... At 10:38 PM 10/23/01 +0000, you wrote: >some good points being made... but for me, I've always made certain >that at least one person that I'm w/knows of my condition... and if I >were to be w/only one person... then date or no date ... he would be >the one person that would be in the know... but seeings how I'm an >old married lady not much chance of this becoming an issue.. hubby's >so strict about me dating lol! >JES > > > > hi all, > > > > i still have mixed feelings after reading all the replys to the >dating > > thing. when i came home from the hospital last march. some >people that > > heard of what had happened to me caused them to treat me like a >leper. > > > > everybody seemed to be so afraid that i was going to drop dead in >front of > > them. so, their natural instinct was to shy away from me. after >a while > > people started feeling more comfortable in my presence, and it was >so > > obvious seeing those that werent. > > > > > > the couple zaps ive had didnt knock me unconscious, just scared >the heck > > out of me. > > > > and on the first or second date, im not sure its anyones business > > unless, as one just posted, your zaps are frequent. i certainly >dont > > tell everyone i meet about the icd. whether it be a date or a new > > aquaintance it doesnt matter. > > > > i do agree that it is something that shouldnt be kept secret if the > > relationship looks like it may develop into something serious. > > > > bob in pa > > > >Please visit the Zapper homepage at >http://www.ZapLife.org > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 Kate, Be honest and upfront. Whether you have an ICd or not, dating is dating. Don't hide. If the guy likes you, he'll like everything. No liking al-cart here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 Hi Kate, I am an old married lady, but I think your question does raise some issues. First of all, why do we date? To find a mate or to enjoy ones company. Certainly if we are only enjoying ones company, then why would that level of personal information have anything to do with anything? If a relationship gets serious, then that is a different story. I would hope that if one loves you for who you are, they would love you whether or not you had an ICD. But again, I guess if a long term relationship were being considered, then it would need to be addressed. For now - I say go out there and have fun! M in PA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 From my perspective it is best to tell people up front about the ICD. You do not want them to be in a position of being with you when you get zapped and not knowing that it is actually a treatment for you. That can be scary. If they walk at the news then they have little or no understanding and are not worth perusing for a relationship. If they understand and stick around then there is a good possibility the relationship has a chance. Al in Wiarton Willie Country Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 Hi Kate, After reading Al's reply, I may edit my note - he makes a good point. If you are really stable, then an ICD firing may not be an issue, but then again, why do we have these things if we never thought we would need them? If you are throwing PVC's right and left, then I surely would want one to be with me to know of my possible danger. A lot of good food for thought! M in PA At 04:52 PM 10/23/01 -0400, you wrote: From my perspective it is best to tell people up front about the ICD. You do not want them to be in a position of being with you when you get zapped and not knowing that it is actually a treatment for you. That can be scary. If they walk at the news then they have little or no understanding and are not worth perusing for a relationship. If they understand and stick around then there is a good possibility the relationship has a chance. Al in Wiarton Willie Country Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2001 Report Share Posted October 23, 2001 hey sue, thankyou for that. my head is all swollen now and i cant get my baseball cap off. geeeeeez bob in pa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 are we voting on replys to dating question? 'cause if we are, so far I vote for this one JES in NJ... > > From my perspective it is best to tell people up front about the ICD. You do not want them to be in a position of being with you when you get zapped and not knowing that it is actually a treatment for you. That can be scary. > If they walk at the news then they have little or no understanding and are not worth perusing for a relationship. If they understand and stick around then there is a good possibility the relationship has a chance. > > Al > in Wiarton Willie Country Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 some good points being made... but for me, I've always made certain that at least one person that I'm w/knows of my condition... and if I were to be w/only one person... then date or no date ... he would be the one person that would be in the know... but seeings how I'm an old married lady not much chance of this becoming an issue.. hubby's so strict about me dating lol! JES > hi all, > > i still have mixed feelings after reading all the replys to the dating > thing. when i came home from the hospital last march. some people that > heard of what had happened to me caused them to treat me like a leper. > > everybody seemed to be so afraid that i was going to drop dead in front of > them. so, their natural instinct was to shy away from me. after a while > people started feeling more comfortable in my presence, and it was so > obvious seeing those that werent. > > > the couple zaps ive had didnt knock me unconscious, just scared the heck > out of me. > > and on the first or second date, im not sure its anyones business > unless, as one just posted, your zaps are frequent. i certainly dont > tell everyone i meet about the icd. whether it be a date or a new > aquaintance it doesnt matter. > > i do agree that it is something that shouldnt be kept secret if the > relationship looks like it may develop into something serious. > > bob in pa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Bob..... > i generally give a lady a chance to like me before i tell her the > heavy > stuff. some walk away, some dont. havent found one yet that wants > to stay. Oh, you poor thang! I actually asked the EP dr. before Rich got his implant: 'What if we're, uh, you know, and that thing goes off?' She said 'Don't worry, YOU won't feel anything.' I said 'Darn! I thot that might make it even more interesting'. Evil Sue (who also asked her to program it so that he'll get zapped if he even LOOKS at a beer, cig., or another woman) PS-- If i was in the market, *I'D* go out with ya..... what is sexier than a man with a great sense of humor, after all? -- " She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. " -- Mark Twain Rich and Sue Owens http://www.geocities.com/Yosemite/Meadows/7457/index3.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Kate... > I have only just started dating somone new and now I am very nervous > about > telling him about the implant.. should I tell him upfront, or do you > think that largely he will see it as not so much of a big deal?? I'm a twice-divorced mother of five. In the dating arena, sometimes having kids at home are even worse than having a serious health problem, as far as 'scaring off' potential friends/mates. I was very upfront with a new prospect, about my children. I figured they're not going away, they are part of me and my life.... so you, New Boyfriend, need to be aware of that right off the bat. However, a health problem is something else. Esp. one that is not 'contagious' like herpes or something. In that case, i would just let the dating situation develop, and talk about other things, and see how things went. At some point, i would share my health history, and about the ICD. But i would never start out announcing it. To do so might make me sound 'sick', and/or looking for a 'nurse' or something. Know what i mean? When i was single, i had friends fix me up with this guy and that. The only one i rejected after the first date was one who talked incessantly about his psych problems, his various medications, his 'bad heart' and meds. for THAT.... he was only 32 or so. He sounded like he wanted a nurse/ shrink more than a partner! Hope this helps some. Sue (puzzled about how responses to your msg. came here before your msg. ever did) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Ooooh..... Bob..... > > thankyou for that. my head is all swollen now and i cant get my > baseball > cap off. geeeeeez Which head? Sue (thinking femur here.... for ya dirty minded sorts out there.....) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 OK so I will jump in here and play Ann Lander or Dear Abbey. I have never had to deal with this situation but it something I thought about as I have lost several friends who cannot deal with the fact that I have a box and I am different. I just come with back up cables. I for one don;t think you need to tell someone yo are just casual dating until you relationship moves into a more serious mode. If you were planning on spending along night of passionate love making you might want to let them know. Of course at my old age of almost 56 that is not a reality for me. Once around the block would probably be all I could handle if that. I don't think having a icd is something to embarrassed about or something that people should judge you on. Come on if someone really cares for you they can learn to deal with the box. After all it is not catching! Sorry its just one of those days for me. Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Hey Bob, Listen I would date you, I bet you would be a great date. We could sip electric lemonade and just set back and float down the river Telling each other funny stories and taken our medication. Listen it is getting a little cold for lemonade. How about some nice spiced cider or some mulled wine. I could add some pumpkin pie and whipped cream. Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Yes, I agree go have fun fun fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Dear All, I just got in from the stables and my morning ride. I have barely had time to lay down my riding crop when I caught these messages. Sue, we must compare notes on are stables. What type of saddle do you use. I have a sneaking suspsion that Bill is h olding out on both of us. I have heard some rumors from his area that he does more than sore his wild oats. You know how those Air Force guys are. And what about Bob and Al, and a few of the others that have replied. Maybe we could start a special website. Men that are shocked for life, or shocked beyond belief. Please excuse me I am just having one of those cray days with life/ Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 hi sharon, thankyour for the nice thoughts. what a wonderful idea. but alas, the little boat is now in the driveway impatiently wishing next may would arrive. sometimes i think i wish half my life away. it does sound that way but i also enjoy the winters. warm egg not it is. lemonade in the freezer til next year. bob in pa At 10:20 AM 10/24/01 -0400, you wrote: >Hey Bob, Listen I would date you, I bet you would be a great date. We could >sip electric lemonade and just set back and float down the river Telling >each other funny stories and taken our medication. > >Listen it is getting a little cold for lemonade. How about some nice spiced >cider or some mulled wine. > >I could add some pumpkin pie and whipped cream. > >Sharon > > >Please visit the Zapper homepage at >http://www.ZapLife.org > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Ok Bob so the boat is in the driveway, we can still dream. Winter is a refreshing time of the year we can plan our next spring and summer and be already to set afloat as soon as the ice clears. Maybe we should all plan a special river cruise we could start from your place and work our way around and down. I think that my med increase has taken over my brain control. I feel like I am running on high and that I am gathering speed as my life is roling out of control down a big hill. I feel feel like I am speed or something. Mush better than the way I have been feeling. daughter is at OB this morning getting the latest on the baby. If all goes well I will be a Grannie before the end of November. YEAH YEAH Is anyone in here a dog lover. I need a shoulder as by 8 month old wire fox terrier pup may have to be put to sleep. Crazy Speed Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 In a message dated 10/24/01 7:42:00 AM Pacific Daylight Time, IIPistacio@... writes: hey guys i'm sorry but a group called shocked for life,is already running stacie,18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 ----- Original Message ----- From: <IIPistacio@...> > We could . . . float down the river Sharon: " Float down the river? " I didn't realize that flotsam and jetsam were sexual terms. Aaaah the joy of soaks. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 hello people IM 16 i dunno if i should be reading sum of this! Love Always Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 ----- Original Message ----- From: <IIPistacio@...> > I have a sneaking suspicion that > Bill is holding out on both of us. *** The story of my life. I hold it out, and nobody notices. All I get in the way of a female response is a suspicion. And a sneaky one at that. > I have heard some rumors from > his area that he does more than > sow his wild oats. *** Sow my wild oats? No more. I'm happy just going to seed. (Martha says I certainly have enough fetilizer.) > You know how those Air > Force guys are. One day you're soaring with the eagles; the next day you're down on the ground with the ducks and can't handle the quacks. I am just having one of those cray days with life. A cray day with life? Wow! Boy, do you ever have a great computer! Are you still running in DOS 2.0? Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2001 Report Share Posted October 24, 2001 Hi katie, 16??? U'z old d'nuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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