story -- wanted: one good patient

[Guest guest]

I know this post does not have to do with Xolair but I just got done

writing a story and would like to share it with this group. I haven't

posted much since being taken off Xolair in February; and a few weeks

later it was discovered my asthma was autoimmune related -- although

once my prednisone is reduced from the mega 80mg I have been on for

the past two months; I might have to return to Xolair if my coughing

returns (cough variant asthma.. we don't wheeze we cough instead)

I though maybe this could bring a laugh or a smile or some levity to

our situation as 'patients'

karen W.

May 14, 2007

WANTED

Sometimes I wonder why do I keep doing this? What is the `This' you

may be asking yourself? The `This' is the going to Dr's appointments,

following their requests, and stressing myself out. Aren't we

supposed to be avoiding stress? Doesn't stress make our illness flare?

Today I once again made the mistake of scheduling three doctors'

appointments in one day. My theory of getting them all over in one

day is a good one… in theory; but not so good if it turns me into a

human waste product for next two days. I have come to think of going

to doctor's appointments as my job; it's what I do right now. I am

fairly good at it. It makes me wonder what that help wanted ad would

look like….

Wanted: One Good Patient.

Employer: A Doctor

Skills Needed:

Patient must have an illness that is not easily cured but not

terminal. Preferably something interesting. Anything with an

acronym. Should have medical journal write-up potential.

Presentation should be a puzzle so I get to flex my medical knowledge

and prove to colleagues what a great diagnostician I am.

Patient needs to follow my orders but be willing to ask thoughtful

questions. Patient should respond to any and all medications in the

appropriate fashions (although small setbacks are allowed). Patient

should go willingly for extensive medical testing and not complain

about the taste or number of medications I will prescribe. (Also

patient not allowed to comment on the fact that the pens and office

paper I use mysteriously have the name of the drug I am prescribing to

you) Patient is allowed to ask `why' about a given test/medication but

then should accept my medical degree as my knowing what is best for

the patient.

Patient should not complain to my office staff or me when we make you

wait for hours for your appointment. (There is a reason that you are

called, `the patient'). Patient should act thrilled with whatever

magazines we have on hand; who doesn't want to read Wildlife Monthly

or Women's Day from 3 years ago? Patient should be comfortable

sitting in awkward waiting room furniture; the couches will smell

funny and you will be unable to get up after sitting in them or you

may pick a chair that will leave your spine in such a painful state

after your wait that you will need a referral to my brother, the

chiropractor's office.

Experience:

Prefer a NEW patient. Would not like one tainted by other doctors;

2nd opinion seekers need not apply.

Hours:

9am – 12pm (remember we close for lunch…) and 2-4pm –

Monday-Thursdays. Patient must remember that these are the only times

that illness is allowed. Patient must take vacations from illness at

same time that employer (aka the doctor) is away on some wonderful

tropical island. Patient must remember that any illness after 4pm

needs to be held in check until the next business day.

Salary:

None, Nada, Zilch… Patient must have medical insurance. Patient will

pay all co-pays and above medical insurance payments. Patient is also

not allowed to complain when I prescribe medication that is not

covered under your pharmaceutical plan or you have a $40 co-pay.

So, any takers?

[Guest guest]

,

This is so real!!!

My hubby, who has MS and is about to go on a monoclonal antibody that has

killed 3 people and I, with my multiple severe allergies, asthma, and arthritis

have commented to each other that our lives seem to totally revolve around

doctor visits, imaging studies, lab work, searching exhaustively to find the

truth behind the Rx hype and details of the diseases " left out " by doctors.

I too have done the thing of 3 med visits in 1 day - 2 doctors, a lab, a

social worker, etc. The reasoning is that these people are going to help me,

right? It was a mistake for us, too! Well, they could at least be cheery warm

and friendly but mostly (and there are wonderful exceptions) it is just plain

grueling. I'm trying to balance out with antiquing or going to a play or movie

w/dinner. Can't get the life I consider reasonable but am trying not to be a

prisoner to disinterested " providers. "

Keep writing, my dear! You've got it right!

SD

Sheryl

____________________________________________________________________

13927 Briarworth Drive Houston, Texas 77077

Home: 281-293-7732 Cell: 281-536-2848 Fax: 866-825-4219

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