need to vent on a few things (thanks for reading)

[Guest guest]

I live in an apartment and I bellieve the tenant prior was a smoker.

I cannot get the smell out. It's in the carpet, the blinds,

appliances, etc. The apartment was closed up the two months I went

home. The smell festered here and is now worse. Hard to keep windows

open in this heat and humidity, so I don't. All this suffering, I

still say Fl is hot as hell it should be pled guilty, time served and

I should not have to go to hell when I die. Ha!

Cleaning does not come easy, even with a mask. I cannot burn candles

nor have the plug ins

I use baking soda on the carpet (unscented) before I vacuum. Nothing

This is triggering the asthma. Dr said without the Xolair I'd be alot

worse.

I never did post how the summer ended up. I did spend much time with

my nephews. Many arguments with folks about how this is in my head

rather than my lungs. Mom cleaned the oven. Another ER visit. Dad

mowed the lawn, another ER visit. Dr spoke to them. No good. I told

them about this site and to read it. You can surmise the answer.

I can't dwell on that. I did have a good summer with the nephews.

Some heavy stuff is going on in the family so it was important I

spent time with the boys.

My classroom where I teach, I believe there is mold in there or

something. My allergies/sinuses/asthma flare up. I am in agony. 2

weeks ago I had to have 3 teachers teach my classes. The ashtma,

allergies and asthma landed me in the ER.

My meds are continual, no new changes. I feel they are not taking

affect.

My job, I asked them to look into the room and if necessary perhaps

and air purifier may help. They said it was not in the budget. A

union rep is going to talk to the principal becuase she said this

falls under the American Diabilities Act. The job must accomodate.

My job is diificult too. Teacher's look at me like I have 10 heads.

Explained what we discuss here. If I had a broken arm/leg, they'd

understand a lot easier. One teacher went off on me that I am young,

I have another 30 years before stuff like this should happen. I know

I am young. I am not dumb, I am 32. I see what is happening, I feel

what is happening. This is not what I have intended in life but these

were the cards I have been dealt and now I have to work with it.

This Thurs, I took a class at one of the school's high school's. It

was a science lab. That killed me for the day. I was in the ER again,

then, not to my liking, admitted.

I have been having anxiety attacks. The dizzy spells still occur but

that Saturday. Holy Canoli!! I do not like Florida. I still insist

it's God's waiting room just take a number. Either you are cnsidered

newly wed or nearly dead. I am not newly wed so I must be the other.

That day, I was on a rural road driving home. I pulled over because

of the dizzy spells but this spell was new. My hands, as well as my

arms and legs went numb. I could not call 911 because there was no

signal on the cell phone. A car stopped and the person asked me if I

needed help. I asked where the nearest hospital was. He said 20 miles

west. He offered to drive me there but I rather go by ambulance even

if it is a $500 cab ride than get in a car with a stranger. My gut

told me to decline the offer. Unfortunately, the KKK is in those

parts and I do not fit their demographocs. I had to take that road bc

I had no money to take the toll road.

Anyway, the dizzy feeling passed and I was able to get there in a

fair amount of time. Of course this was the time I wished my cell

phone had a signal and a cop would be around but neither were in my

favor.

I miss NY. Game plan is to return there by next summer. Don't ask why

I moved here when I ask myself that very same question every day.

But, in a nut shell, life's a chance. " Either you do or do not, there

is no try " (Yoda, Empire Strikes back).

As some of you know from previous posts I come from a long family of

asthnostics. The ER wanted to notify someone in my family. They are

not here nor did they answer the phone or call back (til much later).

They called friends I knew but they were in the same class I took and

were not avail for the phone. It is scary, lonely and depressing to

be alone. Especially trying to drive to a hospital where I did not

know the area. Saw real cows, goats and over animals along the way. (

I am a city girl, new things intrigue me, sorry). It was 24 hours

til friend called to find out my status.

My family still thinks this is in my head. This is why I don't want

them involved because of the stress they add to it. It makes it

difficult. I limit the communication but then feel guilty because I

feel I am cutting off my nep hews. I can't go into what is happening

at home but it is not good. I feel like I am between a rock and a

hard place.

The emotional support is scarce and with all the meds (back on evil

candy) I am hungry. Meds =$$$. Food = $$$. I sure wish money grew on

trees. At least it would explain why the leaves are green. I am

taking on two part time jobs to help ease the finanaces. It's not fun

coming up short each month and I am sure there are people out there

who can relate. Dr's advise against it. I have no oneto help ease

with finances, food, meds. I have to depend on me. I know I will be

tired and run down but I have to help myself and end the pity party.

The hospital could not get a hold of the asthma dr in Fl but was able

to reach the dr in NY. The dr does feel the xolair is helping. I am

hopeful but sometimes I wonder. I thank God it does work even though

I may not see it too well. I have been on it since 2004. Each shot, I

get the bruise the size of texas and other issues which I read on

here as well.

The xolair will be changed from once a month to twice a month. I hope

for better.

I am sorry for the long post. if you read it, thanks.