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[Guest guest]

It's been a long while since I visited the board and I decided to go

on to post my thoughts on a subject that has been on my mind lately

concerning the feelings of anger and loneliness that us dwarfs

sometimes might feel sometimes, as well as to reacquaint myself with

my fellow LP's since LPA will be having their big extravaganza

practically right in my very own back-yard.

But it's when I went on the board tonight that I found out about

Gilden's passing. I never met or Meredith but I was

really looking forward to meeting LPA's celebrity couple this coming

June. Needless to say I am very shocked and disconcerted, as I felt

we have lost one of my own. I didn't know him personally, but as

some of you might relate, there is a `six-degrees-of-separation'

dynamic that exists among LP's, and as a such a small group we are

to begin with, it's hard not to feel a deep bond with other LP's

even those we haven't even met face-to-face.

Many of us will never know what precedented 's death, or what

to make of it, but I feel a profound awareness and compassion

towards my fellow LP's as I never have before.

For a very long time I remained critical and reluctant of LPA, but

in the past year my views have changed. This past year I not only

encountered a couple of severely alcoholic LP's in passing who

raised a personal concern and awareness of our psychological well-

being, and met an exuberant young LP woman at my school who was

ecstatic to finally meet `one of her own', as well as having

received the most terrifying and derogatory assaults as a dwarf I've

ever experienced in my life:

the message had then become clear.

As a term I will quote from a particular 12-step group, I had `hit

rock bottom' in my dwarfism.

's passing has not only helped me in becoming more aware of

my dwarfism but also compelled me to rescind my negative beliefs

concerning it.

I'm extremely saddened for his beloved wife and family and LPA, as

it has lost of one of it's most outstanding and influential members.

As a result, I hope that this, that it did for me, will provoke a

more positive outlook and higher awareness for all.

Peace and much happiness for the New Year, all of you.