Re: Okay, it finally happened

[Guest guest]

Willow --

You state this was your first negative experience in public with

Jarrod. I'm willing to bet it wasn't his.

I'm sorry that you and your daughter experienced the " OMG -- LOOK! "

factor of dwarfism. (Aside -- if you, your daughter and the woman

across the restaurant heard the comments what are the real chances

that Jarrod missed it?) Sometimes I think Dwarf World can be harder

on our average loved ones because you don't live it all the time so

when you get blasted with it, it stings that much more.

Rose

>

> In all the years on this list, now counting 14 for me, I have never

had a negative experience with my son in public that seemed to me to

be intentional until we went to California to see my middle

daughter's new baby. We went to Visalia Ca..My 22 year old daughter

just had a baby and we went to see them and have Christmas. One

night we went to Chinese food there. At a table when we walked into

the restaurant and were seated next to a table of six African

American women with a pair of identical twin girls; the girls began

yelling, not talking quietly, saying " It's a DWARF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OH MY GOD!...IT'S A DWARF!'

> I just was aghast. My first response was to stand up and say, " OMG

they are BLACK AND IDENTICAL TWINS! OMG LOOK! " But I

ignored...within about two seconds they got up and left...still

giggling and left. Thank my God, Jarrod never even noticed them, but

his sister and I heard it and so did one woman across the

restaurant. The lady on the other side, just looked at me, threw her

arms up and with a sympathetic eye, winked and smiled, then shrugged

and smiled with a wide accepting grin, kinda rolled her eyes and went

back to eating. I took the comfort and tried not to show the family

what I felt. My daughter asked if I would go to the restroom with

her and I started tearing up and went. We got to the lady's room and

my daughter went " Oh F***! Can you believe that? " All of a sudden I

felt like I had to defend all of human nature. She stops me and

said, " That is so wrong on so many levels! They are for one Black

and for another a genetic anomoly

> themselves by being identical twins! omg! "

>

> It is so much what I thought myself and am so glad that Jarrod

didn't notice.

>

> But my question remains, were the obviously teen girls trying to be

Politically Correct and still surprised, or were they being rude? I

wanted to tell my daughter, " well at least they didn't say 'It's a

midget!' but then there is the whole part that got me was the

word " IT " to begin with in both probable statements of

acknowledgment. Plus the part that working in special education

teaches me about what is and isn't appropriate to begin with, this

failed on all levels...

>

> In the same words Mike Meyers would use.....Discuss.

> Willow

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yep, Rose is right. Face it, Willow: you're a mom and moms get all

protective over their babies. My mother STILL reacts far more

violently to rude behavior than I do. ;-)

Having watched Jarrod grow into a fine young man (if sometimes

sporting strange clothes and hair style), he is rock solid. He

probably heard them. And he was stoic about it. But I bet he is

proud to have a mom and sister who will fight for him.

Cheers,

Bill

On Jan 4, 2008 3:49 AM, Rose <RMBJustice@...> wrote:

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Willow --

>

> You state this was your first negative experience in public with

> Jarrod. I'm willing to bet it wasn't his.

>

> I'm sorry that you and your daughter experienced the " OMG -- LOOK! "

> factor of dwarfism. (Aside -- if you, your daughter and the woman

> across the restaurant heard the comments what are the real chances

> that Jarrod missed it?) Sometimes I think Dwarf World can be harder

> on our average loved ones because you don't live it all the time so

> when you get blasted with it, it stings that much more.

>

> Rose

[Guest guest]

While I cannot attest to having any negative experiences (as of yet)

I am expecting them.

I can speak to the stares and comments of being bi-racial and public

experiences being in public with my white mother and black father. In

the early 80's when we would walk into somewhere, people would stare

and make comments about my mother and father having children. My mom

would purposely walk us by, several times, holding our hands,

proclaiming loudly how much she loves us, kissing us, telling us we

were the most beautiful children God ever created, etc. If it people

were real rude, my mother would simple exclaim, " Take a picture they

last longer " and usually they got the point.

I, on the other hand am more out-spoken than she and will handle any

comments accordingly. I will follow her lead and add a few of my own,

such as, if a child (young adult) were to exclaim while we are with

Knoah " Oh, look it's a dwarf... " I will immediately stop and

exclaim " OMG, REALLY! I knew there was something different about him.

God, all these years, I thought the stilts were helping? " Then follow

it with some type of comment to the fact that, they are rude and must

not have learned any manners from their parents (regardless if their

parents are there or not. People are ignorant and difference is still

shocked to see someone unlike themselves.

I am sorry you have had to go through this, but Jarrod has a great

role model to follow and will no doubt grow up to stand strongly on

his ground. Rose, my husband thought it was funny about your daughter

stating the genetic anomoly fact about them being twins.

Tonya

> >

> > In all the years on this list, now counting 14 for me, I have

never

> had a negative experience with my son in public that seemed to me

to

> be intentional until we went to California to see my middle

> daughter's new baby. We went to Visalia Ca..My 22 year old

daughter

> just had a baby and we went to see them and have Christmas. One

> night we went to Chinese food there. At a table when we walked

into

> the restaurant and were seated next to a table of six African

> American women with a pair of identical twin girls; the girls began

> yelling, not talking quietly, saying " It's a DWARF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

> OH MY GOD!...IT'S A DWARF!'

> > I just was aghast. My first response was to stand up and

say, " OMG

> they are BLACK AND IDENTICAL TWINS! OMG LOOK! " But I

> ignored...within about two seconds they got up and left...still

> giggling and left. Thank my God, Jarrod never even noticed them,

but

> his sister and I heard it and so did one woman across the

> restaurant. The lady on the other side, just looked at me, threw

her

> arms up and with a sympathetic eye, winked and smiled, then

shrugged

> and smiled with a wide accepting grin, kinda rolled her eyes and

went

> back to eating. I took the comfort and tried not to show the

family

> what I felt. My daughter asked if I would go to the restroom with

> her and I started tearing up and went. We got to the lady's room

and

> my daughter went " Oh F***! Can you believe that? " All of a sudden I

> felt like I had to defend all of human nature. She stops me and

> said, " That is so wrong on so many levels! They are for one Black

> and for another a genetic anomoly

> > themselves by being identical twins! omg! "

> >

> > It is so much what I thought myself and am so glad that Jarrod

> didn't notice.

> >

> > But my question remains, were the obviously teen girls trying to

be

> Politically Correct and still surprised, or were they being rude?

I

> wanted to tell my daughter, " well at least they didn't say 'It's a

> midget!' but then there is the whole part that got me was the

> word " IT " to begin with in both probable statements of

> acknowledgment. Plus the part that working in special education

> teaches me about what is and isn't appropriate to begin with, this

> failed on all levels...

> >

> > In the same words Mike Meyers would use.....Discuss.

> > Willow

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Willow,

Happy New Year!

It's a shame that some individuals haven't been taught that if they

have to be rude, to be subtle, I understand the curiosity, but not the

lack of manners and parental intervention.

Last week I was at my favorite hang out, & Nobles, and usually

it's a rare day when I don't at least get a second look. That day 2

women and their 3 children sat across from me and one of the little

girls was making enough of a fuss that I couldn't help but notice. She

wasn't loud, but when someone is within a few feet of you and quietly

pointing, it's just as noisy. I looked up a few times in the hopes

that either she'd stop or her mother would notice. This went on for a

while, as she had to explain the situation to her little brother

(although I'm assuming it was a brother) who was clueless and honestly

much more interested in his snacks than in the object of her

fascination. When he didn't play into her curiosity she went on to

whisper it to her mother. While the child did continue to tell her

tale while staring at me, the mother had more common sense. Without

directly looking I could tell the mother was trying to calm her down

and explain the situation. I was thrilled that she did intervene as I

was in a funky mood and didn't want to put on my 'dwarfism educator'

hat at that moment. Eventually the girl sat down and I was able to

focus on what I was reading. Sometimes the encounters don't end as

smoothly as this one, as too many adults don't seem to be able to take

control of the situation (and their children no matter what age they

may be). I am appalled to hear that your encounter was with teenagers

and that none of the adults intervened. While I agree that it is

preferable that they have learned a better term to use when referring

to those of us with dwarfism, I'd rather they didn't have to be so

obvious with their fascination. Being a novelty can be tiresome.

I have had moments like yours when I DO want to respond just as loudly

and point back at them, rudely proclaiming their existence. Encounters

like these makes one want to go and hide in a cave some days.

I always find it interesting to hear from AH parents on the list, I'm

glad you shared your experience and frustration. Because my family

never spoke about my dwarfism I honestly don't have a lot of memories

(or any clue) of their frustrations. I only have one incident that I

can remember and that was with my younger (and only) brother. (Funny

how I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday, but can remember

this one occasion that happened about 35 years ago.) A group of family

members went to some entertainment venue called Wild West City, and as

we're walking around it seems that some other kids noticed me with the

usual comments as well as pointing. My brother came to the rescue with

the only tool he had, his body. He decided to step in front of me and

stand between the offenders and their victim. Unfortunately he was so

close that I ended up smacking right into his butt and then yelling

about that. I had been trying to ignore the offenders and wasn't

anticipating a wall magically appearing. One of these days I have to

remember to thank him for his well intentioned, but clumsy efforts.

Strangely enough as adults we haven't had many rude encounters in

public and I haven't suffered anymore body damage

Give your young man a 'high five' for me and keep on fighting the good

fight.

>

> In all the years on this list, now counting 14 for me, I have never

had a negative experience with my son in public that seemed to me to

be intentional until we went to California to see my middle daughter's

new baby. We went to Visalia Ca..My 22 year old daughter just had a

baby and we went to see them and have Christmas. One night we went to

Chinese food there. At a table when we walked into the restaurant and

were seated next to a table of six African American women with a pair

of identical twin girls; the girls began yelling, not talking quietly,

saying " It's a DWARF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD!...IT'S A DWARF!'

> I just was aghast. My first response was to stand up and say, " OMG

they are BLACK AND IDENTICAL TWINS! OMG LOOK! " But I

ignored...within about two seconds they got up and left...still

giggling and left.

[Guest guest]

One thing that always cracks me up is a parent who thinks they can ignore

the child's questions and he/she will give it up. They never do! Just

answer them, get it over with! Seriously, we encourage kids to ask

questions, but then ignore them if they ask something embarassing - so I

don't mind the younger ones asking questions. It's the older ones and the

adults whose butts I'd like to kick.

Willow reminded me of something. A few years ago I visited my brother in a

small town in Virginia. As we walked around the Wal-Mart, he seemed to

becoming uncomfortable. Finally, he said, " I'm sorry people are staring at

you so rudely, Alyce, people here are usually nice. " I hadn't even noticed.

Alyce

On 1/4/08, M <petite_isla@...> wrote:

>

> Hi Willow,

>

> Happy New Year!

>

> It's a shame that some individuals haven't been taught that if they

> have to be rude, to be subtle, I understand the curiosity, but not the

> lack of manners and parental intervention.

>

> Last week I was at my favorite hang out, & Nobles, and usually

> it's a rare day when I don't at least get a second look. That day 2

> women and their 3 children sat across from me and one of the little

> girls was making enough of a fuss that I couldn't help but notice. She

> wasn't loud, but when someone is within a few feet of you and quietly

> pointing, it's just as noisy. I looked up a few times in the hopes

> that either she'd stop or her mother would notice. This went on for a

> while, as she had to explain the situation to her little brother

> (although I'm assuming it was a brother) who was clueless and honestly

> much more interested in his snacks than in the object of her

> fascination. When he didn't play into her curiosity she went on to

> whisper it to her mother. While the child did continue to tell her

> tale while staring at me, the mother had more common sense. Without

> directly looking I could tell the mother was trying to calm her down

> and explain the situation. I was thrilled that she did intervene as I

> was in a funky mood and didn't want to put on my 'dwarfism educator'

> hat at that moment. Eventually the girl sat down and I was able to

> focus on what I was reading. Sometimes the encounters don't end as

> smoothly as this one, as too many adults don't seem to be able to take

> control of the situation (and their children no matter what age they

> may be). I am appalled to hear that your encounter was with teenagers

> and that none of the adults intervened. While I agree that it is

> preferable that they have learned a better term to use when referring

> to those of us with dwarfism, I'd rather they didn't have to be so

> obvious with their fascination. Being a novelty can be tiresome.

>

> I have had moments like yours when I DO want to respond just as loudly

> and point back at them, rudely proclaiming their existence. Encounters

> like these makes one want to go and hide in a cave some days.

>

> I always find it interesting to hear from AH parents on the list, I'm

> glad you shared your experience and frustration. Because my family

> never spoke about my dwarfism I honestly don't have a lot of memories

> (or any clue) of their frustrations. I only have one incident that I

> can remember and that was with my younger (and only) brother. (Funny

> how I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday, but can remember

> this one occasion that happened about 35 years ago.) A group of family

> members went to some entertainment venue called Wild West City, and as

> we're walking around it seems that some other kids noticed me with the

> usual comments as well as pointing. My brother came to the rescue with

> the only tool he had, his body. He decided to step in front of me and

> stand between the offenders and their victim. Unfortunately he was so

> close that I ended up smacking right into his butt and then yelling

> about that. I had been trying to ignore the offenders and wasn't

> anticipating a wall magically appearing. One of these days I have to

> remember to thank him for his well intentioned, but clumsy efforts.

> Strangely enough as adults we haven't had many rude encounters in

> public and I haven't suffered anymore body damage

>

> Give your young man a 'high five' for me and keep on fighting the good

> fight.

>

>

>

>

> >

> > In all the years on this list, now counting 14 for me, I have never

> had a negative experience with my son in public that seemed to me to

> be intentional until we went to California to see my middle daughter's

> new baby. We went to Visalia Ca..My 22 year old daughter just had a

> baby and we went to see them and have Christmas. One night we went to

> Chinese food there. At a table when we walked into the restaurant and

> were seated next to a table of six African American women with a pair

> of identical twin girls; the girls began yelling, not talking quietly,

> saying " It's a DWARF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD!...IT'S A DWARF!'

> > I just was aghast. My first response was to stand up and say, " OMG

> they are BLACK AND IDENTICAL TWINS! OMG LOOK! " But I

> ignored...within about two seconds they got up and left...still

> giggling and left.

>

>

>