Guest guest Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 My heart goes out to you. It does seem like a spinning wheel doesn't it? Can I give you a cyber hug? I have gained weight too and have diabetes and osteo mostly due to meds. So I can relate. Just hang in there. Jan From: meencantador@... Date: Mon, 8 Feb 2010 01:14:41 +0000 Subject: [ ] spinning my wheels I go from med to med to med I gain weight I get depressed I want to end it all, then think that's not the answer I am tired of being a yo yo now, after all the prednisone and the mood changes, Dr has me down as bi-polar Will it ever end? The anxiety sure doesn't. The corticosteroids I have been on for years, my hips and spine are thinning out the depression is getting worse. I am losing sight of my goals for self and career I can't take the pain much more and would love nothing more than vanish into oblivion Those who have read my posts know I don't have support from my family. Friends I have but I don't want to lean on them too much As it is, I will need them in April for more surgery to the hysterectomy. Later in April, I will find out more news on the nodules on the walls of my lungs The only way to end the nightmare is for me to end and that's not the answer My job is giving me a bad time about taking off the last half hour 2x a month to get the shot of Xolair. They want to see all medical records. The union stepped in stating it's an invasion of privacy. There's no one on the school board who's a Dr, they have no business viewing my records. That's a night mare, life's a nightmare. Whether my eyes are open or closed it's a night mare The antidepressants add weight, xanax and valium make me sleep I see a psychologist and psychiatrist. I don't see any hope. Anxiety attacks are still happening and yet, this is not a way to live. I feel stuck, spinning my wheels and no hope at the end of the tunnel. Had to vent, if you read this to its entirety, thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 I feel so bad for you going through all this. My illnesses and my Prednisone dependency has wrought all kinds of " stuff " on me too. I try to take it one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. I tell myself, " This too shall pass " . This too shall pass relates to the good and the bad and I do not choose a permanent solution to a temporary situation. A lot of times I was felling sorry for myself and somebody would post problems that are far worse then mine and I would realize that I could be a lot worse then I am. Hang in there, tomorrow is a new day. Ron On Feb 8, 2010, at 4:04 PM, Janice A wrote: > > > My heart goes out to you. It does seem like a spinning wheel doesn't it? Can I give you a cyber hug? I have gained weight too and have diabetes and osteo mostly due to meds. So I can relate. Just hang in there. > > Jan > > > From: meencantador@... > Date: Mon, 8 Feb 2010 01:14:41 +0000 > Subject: [ ] spinning my wheels > > I go from med to med to med > > I gain weight > > I get depressed > > I want to end it all, then think that's not the answer > > I am tired of being a yo yo > > now, after all the prednisone and the mood changes, Dr has me down as bi-polar > > Will it ever end? > > The anxiety sure doesn't. > > The corticosteroids I have been on for years, my hips and spine are thinning out > > the depression is getting worse. I am losing sight of my goals for self and career > > I can't take the pain much more and would love nothing more than vanish into oblivion > > Those who have read my posts know I don't have support from my family. > > Friends I have but I don't want to lean on them too much > > As it is, I will need them in April for more surgery to the hysterectomy. Later in April, I will find out more news on the nodules on the walls of my lungs > > The only way to end the nightmare is for me to end and that's not the answer > > My job is giving me a bad time about taking off the last half hour 2x a month to get the shot of Xolair. They want to see all medical records. The union stepped in stating it's an invasion of privacy. There's no one on the school board who's a Dr, they have no business viewing my records. > > That's a night mare, life's a nightmare. Whether my eyes are open or closed it's a night mare > > The antidepressants add weight, xanax and valium make me sleep > I see a psychologist and psychiatrist. I don't see any hope. > > Anxiety attacks are still happening and yet, this is not a way to live. > > I feel stuck, spinning my wheels and no hope at the end of the tunnel. > > Had to vent, if you read this to its entirety, thanks > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 thank you for your kind words I have good days, bad days and OMG days  I do realize every has them as well  going through it at the time though doesn't make it easy to realize others may be worse off than me.  Thank you again, for you kind words.  B From: Janice A <janicem611@...> Subject: RE: [ ] spinning my wheels " xolair " < > Date: Monday, February 8, 2010, 5:04 PM  My heart goes out to you. It does seem like a spinning wheel doesn't it? Can I give you a cyber hug? I have gained weight too and have diabetes and osteo mostly due to meds. So I can relate. Just hang in there. Jan From: meencantador Date: Mon, 8 Feb 2010 01:14:41 +0000 Subject: [ ] spinning my wheels I go from med to med to med I gain weight I get depressed I want to end it all, then think that's not the answer I am tired of being a yo yo now, after all the prednisone and the mood changes, Dr has me down as bi-polar Will it ever end? The anxiety sure doesn't. The corticosteroids I have been on for years, my hips and spine are thinning out the depression is getting worse. I am losing sight of my goals for self and career I can't take the pain much more and would love nothing more than vanish into oblivion Those who have read my posts know I don't have support from my family. Friends I have but I don't want to lean on them too much As it is, I will need them in April for more surgery to the hysterectomy. Later in April, I will find out more news on the nodules on the walls of my lungs The only way to end the nightmare is for me to end and that's not the answer My job is giving me a bad time about taking off the last half hour 2x a month to get the shot of Xolair. They want to see all medical records. The union stepped in stating it's an invasion of privacy. There's no one on the school board who's a Dr, they have no business viewing my records. That's a night mare, life's a nightmare. Whether my eyes are open or closed it's a night mare The antidepressants add weight, xanax and valium make me sleep I see a psychologist and psychiatrist. I don't see any hope. Anxiety attacks are still happening and yet, this is not a way to live. I feel stuck, spinning my wheels and no hope at the end of the tunnel. Had to vent, if you read this to its entirety, thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 B- I feel so bad for you! I have days where I just want to drive all the way down to FL and kidnap you! I wish so much that you could go see my doc. here in " upstate " NY!!! When your doc said you were bi-polar did you say, well what do you expect, I'm on a constant high dose of pred? I keep looking to see when you are online..next time I see you there I'll make sure that I " IM " you!! HUGS!! K ________________________________ From: B G <meencantador@...> Sent: Mon, February 8, 2010 11:32:32 PM Subject: RE: [ ] spinning my wheels thank you for your kind words I have good days, bad days and OMG days I do realize every has them as well going through it at the time though doesn't make it easy to realize others may be worse off than me. Thank you again, for you kind words. B From: Janice A <janicem611hotmail (DOT) com> Subject: RE: [ ] spinning my wheels " xolair " < > Date: Monday, February 8, 2010, 5:04 PM My heart goes out to you. It does seem like a spinning wheel doesn't it? Can I give you a cyber hug? I have gained weight too and have diabetes and osteo mostly due to meds. So I can relate. Just hang in there. Jan From: meencantador Date: Mon, 8 Feb 2010 01:14:41 +0000 Subject: [ ] spinning my wheels I go from med to med to med I gain weight I get depressed I want to end it all, then think that's not the answer I am tired of being a yo yo now, after all the prednisone and the mood changes, Dr has me down as bi-polar Will it ever end? The anxiety sure doesn't. The corticosteroids I have been on for years, my hips and spine are thinning out the depression is getting worse. I am losing sight of my goals for self and career I can't take the pain much more and would love nothing more than vanish into oblivion Those who have read my posts know I don't have support from my family. Friends I have but I don't want to lean on them too much As it is, I will need them in April for more surgery to the hysterectomy. Later in April, I will find out more news on the nodules on the walls of my lungs The only way to end the nightmare is for me to end and that's not the answer My job is giving me a bad time about taking off the last half hour 2x a month to get the shot of Xolair. They want to see all medical records. The union stepped in stating it's an invasion of privacy. There's no one on the school board who's a Dr, they have no business viewing my records. That's a night mare, life's a nightmare. Whether my eyes are open or closed it's a night mare The antidepressants add weight, xanax and valium make me sleep I see a psychologist and psychiatrist. I don't see any hope. Anxiety attacks are still happening and yet, this is not a way to live. I feel stuck, spinning my wheels and no hope at the end of the tunnel. Had to vent, if you read this to its entirety, thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 You are welcome. I hope your spirits are lifted some. It is hard to be up when you feel like sh_t! Are you involved in all this snow? Please take care, and know we care. Jan May today be twice as good as yesterday and half as good as tomorrow. Jan From: meencantador@... Date: Mon, 8 Feb 2010 20:32:32 -0800 Subject: RE: [ ] spinning my wheels thank you for your kind words I have good days, bad days and OMG days I do realize every has them as well going through it at the time though doesn't make it easy to realize others may be worse off than me. Thank you again, for you kind words. B From: Janice A <janicem611@...> Subject: RE: [ ] spinning my wheels " xolair " < > Date: Monday, February 8, 2010, 5:04 PM My heart goes out to you. It does seem like a spinning wheel doesn't it? Can I give you a cyber hug? I have gained weight too and have diabetes and osteo mostly due to meds. So I can relate. Just hang in there. Jan From: meencantador Date: Mon, 8 Feb 2010 01:14:41 +0000 Subject: [ ] spinning my wheels I go from med to med to med I gain weight I get depressed I want to end it all, then think that's not the answer I am tired of being a yo yo now, after all the prednisone and the mood changes, Dr has me down as bi-polar Will it ever end? The anxiety sure doesn't. The corticosteroids I have been on for years, my hips and spine are thinning out the depression is getting worse. I am losing sight of my goals for self and career I can't take the pain much more and would love nothing more than vanish into oblivion Those who have read my posts know I don't have support from my family. Friends I have but I don't want to lean on them too much As it is, I will need them in April for more surgery to the hysterectomy. Later in April, I will find out more news on the nodules on the walls of my lungs The only way to end the nightmare is for me to end and that's not the answer My job is giving me a bad time about taking off the last half hour 2x a month to get the shot of Xolair. They want to see all medical records. The union stepped in stating it's an invasion of privacy. There's no one on the school board who's a Dr, they have no business viewing my records. That's a night mare, life's a nightmare. Whether my eyes are open or closed it's a night mare The antidepressants add weight, xanax and valium make me sleep I see a psychologist and psychiatrist. I don't see any hope. Anxiety attacks are still happening and yet, this is not a way to live. I feel stuck, spinning my wheels and no hope at the end of the tunnel. Had to vent, if you read this to its entirety, thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2010 Report Share Posted February 15, 2010 Famous saying from a friend of mine ... " some days the bear gets you and some days you get the bear " . So simple, but so true. We probably all live in a bipolar world to one degree or another. Sorry to hear the bear is getting you today. Tomorrow may be your day. > > I go from med to med to med > > I gain weight > > I get depressed > > I want to end it all, then think that's not the answer > > I am tired of being a yo yo > > > now, after all the prednisone and the mood changes, Dr has me down as bi-polar > > Will it ever end? > > The anxiety sure doesn't. > > The corticosteroids I have been on for years, my hips and spine are thinning out > > the depression is getting worse. I am losing sight of my goals for self and career > > I can't take the pain much more and would love nothing more than vanish into oblivion > > Those who have read my posts know I don't have support from my family. > > Friends I have but I don't want to lean on them too much > > As it is, I will need them in April for more surgery to the hysterectomy. Later in April, I will find out more news on the nodules on the walls of my lungs > > The only way to end the nightmare is for me to end and that's not the answer > > My job is giving me a bad time about taking off the last half hour 2x a month to get the shot of Xolair. They want to see all medical records. The union stepped in stating it's an invasion of privacy. There's no one on the school board who's a Dr, they have no business viewing my records. > > That's a night mare, life's a nightmare. Whether my eyes are open or closed it's a night mare > > The antidepressants add weight, xanax and valium make me sleep > I see a psychologist and psychiatrist. I don't see any hope. > > Anxiety attacks are still happening and yet, this is not a way to live. > > I feel stuck, spinning my wheels and no hope at the end of the tunnel. > > Had to vent, if you read this to its entirety, thanks > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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