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<< Although Bob and I have had our ups and downs, I

can't imagine going through all of this without him >>

Hi, Everyone........Maureen.........Ter and I had this same discussion last

night!!! Neither one of us would change our lives, even with the ups, downs,

and Gareth. We had a very nice, quiet dinner and came home to the tornado

alarms blaring in Kankakee and Bourbonnais. We didn't see anything.

.........there are so many of us that can relate to your

brother-in-law story. Mine happens to be my MIL. She will lay into me about

Gareth and get me upset........never when Ter is around, though. The last

time we were home she threw a tizzy because I fed Gareth lunch at 11:30

instead of waiting till 12:30 like the rest of the kids. I told her he ate

his breakfast at 7:00 and he was hungry. " Why don't you treat him like a

normal child and make him wait. You never make him wait for his meals. " She

got so angry about it !!!! Fortunately, my family is the opposite. They

couldn't care less about his problems. They treat him like the other kids

and ignore the bad behavior. Not that MY child ever has any bad behavior

!!!!!!!!!! Only in my dreams does he have a halo!!!!!!!!!! Gotta

go...........take care everyone.

Margaret

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jeez margaret!!!!!!!! your mil sounds as sweet and caring as

mine........not......... i cant believe she got mad over feeding your

child......... 7to1230 is 5 and a half hours......is she nuts..........

ashton barely goes three hours without eating!!!!!!!!! shes always

hungry......my parents for the most part sound like yours, but lately i am

hearing things...........but i am blowing off.........leah

ps laura, dont know she has green ooze again, and is sleeping lots......but

who know...........

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Margaret & Leah,

My MIL is just as wonderful and I decided not to take the criticism and

predjudice of this grandchild compared to her others and told her how I felt.

She hasn't talked to me in 5 years. You would think it would bother her not

seeing her grandchild.....not.......

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I might have you all beat, when it comes to MILs. I have never met

mine....she disapproved of me before we met (she has a very nasty name for

me). Talked one son into killing another (he was dating someone she

disapproved of)....a neighbor intervened and stopped him and his gun at his

truck. When was born, she had a comment (that we heard of

secondhand). It was kinda like 'I hope you know, the whole town knows about

you and your retarded kid'. She also refers to a hydrocephalic child in

their town as a 'mongoloid idiot'. She has never met or or

and she does not deserve to (in my own biased opinion).

Ann with , and

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Ann, i think you might have us beat..........she sounds like she needs

nancy's bil's shock treatments.......... good Lord, i wouldn't want her

around my kids either...........ikes..............do you live in the same

town........... i hope not......... count your blessings they dont have to

interact with her.......better off.......leah

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In a message dated 6/26/00 12:01:17 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

KenAnngerb@... writes:

<<

I might have you all beat, when it comes to MILs. I have never met

mine....she disapproved of me before we met (she has a very nasty name for

me). Talked one son into killing another (he was dating someone she

disapproved of)....a neighbor intervened and stopped him and his gun at his

truck. When was born, she had a comment (that we heard of

secondhand). It was kinda like 'I hope you know, the whole town knows about

you and your retarded kid'. She also refers to a hydrocephalic child in

their town as a 'mongoloid idiot'. She has never met or

or

and she does not deserve to (in my own biased opinion).

Ann with , and >>

WHOA Ann!!!! This is an evil person!! She makes " Throw Mama from the Train "

look like Snow White!!!!! Jeez!!!!!!

Donna

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Ann,

You win! Unfortunately!

My MIL is not nearly that bad, but bad enough. Maybe we should all say a

prayer for each of our inlaws, even those that don't " deserve " it. I

think, they, more than others, really need it!

Hang in there.

S

On Mon, 26 Jun 2000 11:59:10 EDT KenAnngerb@... writes:

> I might have you all beat, when it comes to MILs. I have never met

> mine....she disapproved of me before we met (she has a very nasty

> name for

> me). Talked one son into killing another (he was dating someone she

>

> disapproved of)....a neighbor intervened and stopped him and his gun

> at his

> truck. When was born, she had a comment (that we heard of

> secondhand). It was kinda like 'I hope you know, the whole town

> knows about

> you and your retarded kid'. She also refers to a hydrocephalic

> child in

> their town as a 'mongoloid idiot'. She has never met or

> or

> and she does not deserve to (in my own biased opinion).

> Ann with , and

>

>

>

>

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> Get Your FREE Online Credit Report!

> 1/5783/13/_/691668/_/962035175/

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>

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my MIL isnt like that but she is difficult, lets nathan eat too much, and

soesnt beleive in any of his meds, always thinks he needs to go to the doc,

and my SIL, always has her oppinion, thinks she know, when she still lives

with mommy and daddy, no real job, and no BF or dating, and ofcourse no

kids, they get on my nerves, and always visiting etc. shawna

>From: mfroof@...

>Reply-egroups

>egroups

>Subject: Re: in-laws

>Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2000 21:28:12 EDT

>

>

>

><< Although Bob and I have had our ups and downs, I

> can't imagine going through all of this without him >>

>

>Hi, Everyone........Maureen.........Ter and I had this same discussion last

>night!!! Neither one of us would change our lives, even with the ups,

>downs,

>and Gareth. We had a very nice, quiet dinner and came home to the tornado

>alarms blaring in Kankakee and Bourbonnais. We didn't see anything.

> .........there are so many of us that can relate to your

>brother-in-law story. Mine happens to be my MIL. She will lay into me

>about

>Gareth and get me upset........never when Ter is around, though. The last

>time we were home she threw a tizzy because I fed Gareth lunch at 11:30

>instead of waiting till 12:30 like the rest of the kids. I told her he ate

>his breakfast at 7:00 and he was hungry. " Why don't you treat him like a

>normal child and make him wait. You never make him wait for his meals. "

>She

>got so angry about it !!!! Fortunately, my family is the opposite. They

>couldn't care less about his problems. They treat him like the other kids

>and ignore the bad behavior. Not that MY child ever has any bad behavior

>!!!!!!!!!! Only in my dreams does he have a halo!!!!!!!!!! Gotta

>go...........take care everyone.

>Margaret

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

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>1/5197/13/_/691668/_/961982898/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

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My MIL is the reason Peck wrote the book " People of the Lie " ...It's

really scarey. We do feel sorry for her. She is missing so very much.

These little children of ours are all dolls and we love them very much. I

wish she was a 'proper' grandmother.

Ann with , and

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lmao ann!!!!!!!!! we all have fruity mil's it seems like......i know i have

issues with my parents but for the most part they are wonderful and they

would not even ever think about not loving ashton and accepting her and doing

best for her........... they treat her and my son wonderfully........i will

say that my mom tends to do more for ashton.....but thats okay....it s all

balanced out........take care, leah=======about to embark on my trip to

lauras............ikes pray or me.................

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  • 6 years later...
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In a message dated 7/27/06 8:23:29 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

marjiemurray@... writes:

My husband (average height) and I have been married for 16 years. For

all those 16 years my mother-in-law always has to comment on ie. how

do you get clothes to fit you, ohh you have to use a stool , ohh look

at that person staring at you, and many other things. She is amazed

that our son who has a skeletal dysplasia is of average intelligence.

I realize they aren't the worst things a person could say to me but

putting up with hearing it for 16 years is what is tough. My husband

has tried to talk to her about it but all she says is " I can't say

anything " . My son and I basically try to avoid her as much as

possible.

My own mother has been saying those things to

me for fifty years now, because she has always been

very ashamed of me. And both she and my late father

always were, besides being alcoholics as well. The

worse part for me, was how MUCH they focused upon

the stares of others and the ridicule. Though I left their

home at a very young age, I have had to spend nearly

thirty years of courageously tearing down the sheer

shame and insecurities so instilled within me all

throughout my formative years. Had it not been for

many dear friends and a wonderful therapist, I would

be one very unhappy, unfulfilled person.

However, there ARE still those moments when my

mother, who is very good about STILL saying stuff,

CAN bring it all back in a heartbeat-----IF I LET HER.

One thing my therapist has drilled into my head, is

for me to remember, her words are ONLY words. And

her words, as painful as they are, only have the power

to hurt, IF I ALLOW THEM TO HAVE THAT POWER.

Your mother in-law is NOT going to change, and believe me, I know it is

deeply frustrating. Try to accept that she

is NOT going to change, and refuse to allow her pathetic

words to get within you and hurt you. You must rise above the pain of her

hurtful words which are so easy to give the power to hurt, know what I mean?

This will not be easy, but you CAN do it. For your sake

and your son's sake too.

You also need to turn her negative comments into positives when you

can, for instance----like the next time she points out someone staring, say in

a

very nice tone of voice, " Well, Mom, it must be because I am so special,

that they are! "

Hopefully, these things may help you too!

Good luck!

Adelaide

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Also I would like to add.....Like she has NEVER stood on a stool?? Now come

on....At one point in EVERYBODYS life they have had to stand on something I'm

sure...lol.....And this about the clothes thing..I would have to comment when

she made those remarks Oh! yeah and they don't cost as much either since their

smaller then yours.....And as far as the stares..she must be staring at them to

see their reactions so she is doing it to and I would point that out as

well.....Or you can just say nothing..It's the ones like that with we-little

thoughts to match their we-little brains....and just be glad and proud ya we may

be small and they may be tall but we don't have the little minds..They do :-)

That's it...just me being me

~JoAnn~

In a message dated 7/27/06 8:23:29 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

marjiemurray@... writes:

My husband (average height) and I have been married for 16 years. For

all those 16 years my mother-in-law always has to comment on ie. how

do you get clothes to fit you, ohh you have to use a stool , ohh look

at that person staring at you, and many other things. She is amazed

that our son who has a skeletal dysplasia is of average intelligence.

I realize they aren't the worst things a person could say to me but

putting up with hearing it for 16 years is what is tough. My husband

has tried to talk to her about it but all she says is " I can't say

anything " . My son and I basically try to avoid her as much as

possible.

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Right after reading this post, I checked on one of my favorite

bloggers and saw this

http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/07_27_2006.html

>

> Also I would like to add.....Like she has NEVER stood on a stool??

Now come on....At one point in EVERYBODYS life they have had to stand

on something I'm sure...lol.....And this about the clothes thing..I

would have to comment when she made those remarks Oh! yeah and they

don't cost as much either since their smaller then yours.....And as

far as the stares..she must be staring at them to see their reactions

so she is doing it to and I would point that out as well.....Or you

can just say nothing..It's the ones like that with we-little thoughts

to match their we-little brains....and just be glad and proud ya we

may be small and they may be tall but we don't have the little

minds..They do :-)

>

> That's it...just me being me

> ~JoAnn~

>

>

> In a message dated 7/27/06 8:23:29 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> marjiemurray@... writes:

>

> My husband (average height) and I have been married for 16 years. For

> all those 16 years my mother-in-law always has to comment on ie. how

> do you get clothes to fit you, ohh you have to use a stool , ohh look

> at that person staring at you, and many other things. She is amazed

> that our son who has a skeletal dysplasia is of average intelligence.

> I realize they aren't the worst things a person could say to me but

> putting up with hearing it for 16 years is what is tough. My husband

> has tried to talk to her about it but all she says is " I can't say

> anything " . My son and I basically try to avoid her as much as

> possible.

>

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