Mother in law

[Guest guest]

,

I can understand your feelings, except it's my DAD that is like that. My

mother-in-law does not like my boys (and freely admits it). My boys cousins

hide from my children at family functions. They refuse to come out until

" they " (my kids) leave. Their parents say it's just " kids being kids " and I

am " too sensitive " . I have refused to go to family functions, and that makes

it hard on my husband. Meanwhile, even though my dad sometimes drives me

crazy, he is all we have " family-wise " , He is our only babysitter. A night

out alone? Hey, what is that? The last " date " my husband and I had was our

youngest son's IEP two years ago. Sometimes I feel like I'm married to the

Head of Special Education - we spend more time together. And we are usually

arguing.

I have just come to the conclusion that families are never easy. Too much

attention or too little, we just have to deal with it the best we can.

Sue - mom to Zack, 8, DS; Matt, 6, PDD, 's Anomoly, Cataracts,

Glaucoma; , 4, DS, Asthma, G-tube

[Guest guest]

Dear : I vote for leaving the phone off the

hook all weekend!! Better yet, unplug it from the

wall so the " beep,beep,beep " noise doesn't drive you

crazy!

(((Hugs)))

Judi

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi

I can completely and utterly relate to your dilemma regarding your dear,

sweet MIL! I have one of those too but luckily for me she lives in England

8 months of the year.

She is very nice and caring but she can drive me more crazy in 5 minutes

than anyone I have ever met. She often makes silly comments about Ds and

has been known to arrive and say " Gosh Nicki doesn't look like she has Ds

today " . SIGH! Why she can't just move on and not bother to comment is

beyond me. When they are here for 4 months, we see them EVERYDAY! UGH -

they just barge in the back door without knocking. I get the " YOOHOO!! " as

they come in! My heart sinks when I hear it. LOL. My FIL knows everything

there is to know about everything (except how to be tactful) and if you

don't agree with what he is saying, he gets irrate! They also do a lot of

complaining and it's generally things we have no control over, like the

weather, the designs of our buildings downtown or the bad road signs in NZ -

apparently we don't have enough of them!

Tony and I have a regular " date " on Mondays when we enjoy each others

company and have a friend babysit. Every Monday they ask " So where are we

eating tonight? " . Tony hasn't got the heart to not invite them. I decided

that honesty was the best policy and had a chat with her explaining that

Tony and I need time alone to discuss things. She said she understood and

sulked for 2 days afterwards. Oh boy - I could tell you a million stories

but I'll spare you!

Have you explained about your need to have time to yourself after a busy

day? I'd be tempted to let your DH and his parents have dinner together

while I did my own thing at home with the boys!

Good luck

Carolyn

Mum to on, , Emma (Ds) 4 and Nicki (Ds) 3

mother in law

> Hi,

>

> I was just wondering if I could vent a little about the MIL. She's a

> wonderful person and she means well, but she drives me up a wall

> since we had the boys. Apparently we didn't buy a house far enough

> away. She just gets so pushy and hyper around them...and she just

> can't wait to pick them up. When they are sleeping, she talks real

> loud and always " accidentally " wakes them up which makes them cranky

> and throws them way off schedule, which is hard enough to try to keep

> them on so I'm not up all night. My DH is an only child, so either

> she

> doesn't know or doesn't remember what it's like to have to clean them

> up, pack em up, and lug them around everywhere. We have a million

> appointments we're constantly juggling and to have a night off is so

> great. I'm a little upset tonight because I'm REALLY tired and

> already

> had two appointments today. I would just like to relax, but she's

> been

> bugging and bugging us (in her minimum two times per day phone calls)

> to take us out to dinner tonight. Of course my dh wants to go (he

> doesn't have to do a d--n thing). I suggested that maybe we could BBQ

> here instead (that way I don't have to pack em up, lug em around,

> worry about where to nurse one, warm the others bottle up, change,

> etc.). That didn't go over too well with him but he called her to

> suggest it anyway. Well, she thought we really needed to get out of

> the house and insisted (I'm sure not too hard to my dh). I'm so

> pi--ed. When all the daycare kids go home, I just want to put my feet

> up for a few minutes. The only time I can get to myself is in the

> bathroom. I just went in there to have a good cry, then thought I'd

> write a short note to my special friends here who I'm sure have " been

> there " and would understand. Feel better already. Guess I'll just

> have

> to suck it up for a few more hours, then maybe we won't have to deal

> with her until next weekend. Lots of luck. Maybe I could

> " accidentally " leave a phone off a receiver this weekend? Whoops! I

> feel so badly selfish cause she really is a wonderful person and

> we're

> all lucky to have her, but I just don't feel like dealing with her

> tonight (or this whole weekend). We're also going to see her tomorrow

> at my dh's goddaughters birthday party. Oh well.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent a little.

>

> http://sites.netscape.net/cabevizzo/homepage

> (6 month (DS/clefts) and )

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Hot off the press- summer's here!

> School's out and it's sizzling hot. Whether you're planning a

> graduation party, a summer brunch, or simple birthday party,

> shop GreatEntertaining.com before your next celebration.

> 1/4477/2/_/598201/_/959370888/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> http://DSyndrome.com/Multiples

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh , I feel for you! I also have one of those MIL. I get to go

to mine this weekend. We only have to drive 150 miles to get there and

then have a wonderful time in a non child proof house. So while everyone

is having a nice visit I will be manning the doors, cabinets,glassware,

lamps, plugs,bathroom. I should be pretty well rested when it's all

over.My husband thinks because is almost 5 that he's pretty easy.

And he is, at HOME. Where there is a lock on everything, no hanging

cords or plugs, gates, ect..you name it, it's childproof (or

proof for this age). I hope your weekend doesnt go to bad, and I'm so

sorry it's been rough day. Please take care!

Kelli....Mom to: , age 22, Greg, age 18, Twins: Set one- April &

Ash age 15, Set two- (ds) & Tyler, age 4.

Copy and paste the code below in your sig box

<html>

<body background=

" http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Portal/8051/images/beauty_bubbles.gif " text= " lin\

en " ><center>

<img src=

" http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Portal/8051/images/peachrose.gif " width= " 200 " hei\

ght= " 200 " border= " 0 " >

</center>

</body>

</html>

[Guest guest]

,

I'm glad you made it through the night!

I think we all understand and can relate! My MIL is our ONLY baby-sitter. And

when she comes over it's " no bolds bar " ( what exactly that means I don't

know) but anyway the kids get away with any and everything! and they eat

anything and everything! When I get home they are like wild monkeys! It takes

hours for them to wind down.

Now don't get me wrong my MIL is a wonderful person and does ALOT for us,but

she can pluck my nerves! I bite my tongue most of the time, but when

something really bothers me I let hubby know about it and make him the bearer

of bad news to the MIL. Boy, I feel better too and I haven't seen her in a

few days.So,I'm sure we will see her sometime this weekend.

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend!

~,moma to (DS) & Sloan {2 years}

[Guest guest]

,

MIL's can be a real pain. Mine used to be, but last fall she crossed the line and made up stories of abuse to her therapist and we found ourselves dealing with allegations of child abuse. Because my husband is in the Air Force and has a Top Secret clearance they ran a full blown investigation even though the first interviews cleared us of all charges. It was a nightmare beyond description.. We were supposed to move here to Montana last Oct., but we were held up by all of this nonsense. As awful as the expereince was (because you know that in cases like this you are guilty until proven innocent) it has freed me from my MIL. We no longer have anything to do with her. The most entertaining part of her accusation is that we lived some 150 miles from her and she never made attempts to come to visit and rarely saw us when we were in her town(my mom lives a few miles from her). She never spent enough time with my children or saw them enough to be able to tell you anything specific about them. When my daughter was born, my MIL came to the hospital to see the baby and my oldest, then 3 said to my husband...."Daddy, who's you're friend?" refering to my MIL. Even when we lived a mile from her she wanted us to beg her to spend time with us and our kids. I have too many friends and family memebers who can't wait to see my kids, why would I beg her. I always felt uneasy about her holding them when they were little, but I sucked it up and I watched her pit her own children against each other and never said anything except to my husband, but she crossed the line when she did this hurtful thing, not my husband and me, but to my children. I feel that I would not let friends treat me this way, so why would I let a family member just because we are related. I have disconnected from family that is a constant negative to me and my childrens lives. I know this sounds cruel, but we are so much happier and the kids are so less stressed. I hesitated in sharing this because it infuriates me to think that false accusations like these are made all the time and sometimes with much worse consequences. I am tired of feeling like I have something to be ashamed of. I have never and will never abuse my children. What my MIL did was vindictive and cruel and I hope if any of you have been through or know someone who has been through what we have that you will remember not to pre-judge them. I knew that we would be vindicated, it was just a matter of time and them seeing what a nut job she is. I was never so glad we had spent so much time at the pediatricians office in my life. There were pages and pages of medical records that clearly showed that abuse was never even a consideration. But I felt ashamed that anyone might think that of my family. I am taking a risk in sharing this, because you all only know me from the things I have written. I know deep in my heart what kind of mother I am and what kind of father my husband is and I have met few Daddys that measure up to my husband. I think that God allowed us to go through this so we would someday be able to help and understand someone else in the same predicament. You would be surprised how many people you probably know that have been wrongly accused and never told about it.

Debbie Drap-mom to , , , & (ds) 10 months

mother in law

Hi,I was just wondering if I could vent a little about the MIL. She's a wonderful person and she means well, but she drives me up a wall since we had the boys. Apparently we didn't buy a house far enough away. She just gets so pushy and hyper around them...and she just can't wait to pick them up. When they are sleeping, she talks real loud and always "accidentally" wakes them up which makes them cranky and throws them way off schedule, which is hard enough to try to keep them on so I'm not up all night. My DH is an only child, so eithershe doesn't know or doesn't remember what it's like to have to clean them up, pack em up, and lug them around everywhere. We have a million appointments we're constantly juggling and to have a night off is so great. I'm a little upset tonight because I'm REALLY tired andalready had two appointments today. I would just like to relax, but she'sbeen bugging and bugging us (in her minimum two times per day phone calls) to take us out to dinner tonight. Of course my dh wants to go (he doesn't have to do a d--n thing). I suggested that maybe we could BBQ here instead (that way I don't have to pack em up, lug em around, worry about where to nurse one, warm the others bottle up, change, etc.). That didn't go over too well with him but he called her to suggest it anyway. Well, she thought we really needed to get out of the house and insisted (I'm sure not too hard to my dh). I'm so pi--ed. When all the daycare kids go home, I just want to put my feet up for a few minutes. The only time I can get to myself is in the bathroom. I just went in there to have a good cry, then thought I'd write a short note to my special friends here who I'm sure have "been there" and would understand. Feel better already. Guess I'll justhave to suck it up for a few more hours, then maybe we won't have to deal with her until next weekend. Lots of luck. Maybe I could "accidentally" leave a phone off a receiver this weekend? Whoops! I feel so badly selfish cause she really is a wonderful person andwe're all lucky to have her, but I just don't feel like dealing with her tonight (or this whole weekend). We're also going to see her tomorrow at my dh's goddaughters birthday party. Oh well.Thanks for letting me vent a little.http://sites.netscape.net/cabevizzo/homepage(6 month (DS/clefts) and )

http://DSyndrome.com/Multiples

[Guest guest]

us to go through this so we would someday be able to help and understand someone else in the same predicament. You would be surprised how many people you probably know that have been wrongly accused and never told about it.

Debbie;

WOW I would have done everything that you did. I am one of those people that this has happened to but have said nothing about it....so I KNOW exactly where you are coming from BUT the person that accused my family of abuse hadn't even met us (it was via the internet). It wasn't to the degree that you went through either. Lucky for me I never lost a family member or a friend because of it (I didn't consider this person a good friend of mine). We had a children's aid worker out but he more or less warned us about what we say on the internet then interrogate us....he said he wasn't even going to keep record of the event. The other thing that I have found too since I have "twins" is that people accuse me of favoring one over the other.....pisses me off to NO end. I was approached in the NICU because 's head nurse claimed I favored Nicala over him. Then, after both were home the Doctor at the developmental clinic wrote up a report all about how I am such a "perfect" mother to but not to Nicala. WAS I MAD. I contacted the complaints department of the hospital and wrote a letter in response to her report, sending it to all the people who got her report and I MADE her write a letter of apology and send it to all the people who got her report.....and SHE DID. HA HA HA...don't mess with the bitch (that's me).

who since children has been alot more outspoken!!!

Nicala,aa & ,ds (3) and (1.5)

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

Thank you for sharing your story. What an incredible nightmare--What is it

with these Mother-In-Laws? We all have the possibility of having that

" title " someday--I cannot imagine choosing to be so vindictive...and

attempting to ruin the lives of a family--was she incredibly jealous of the

happiness of your family? I am glad things turned out the way they did and

I think it is perfectly o.k. to choose not to spend time with people who are

not life giving. Good for you!

Marcia

Mom to Sara (DS) and Gabreil 5 and Lucas 9

[Guest guest]

Marcia,

You hit the nail right on the head. My MIL is one of those people that always looks to everyone and everything else to make her happy. She is the most miserable person I know. I think she is jealous that we are happy and always make the best of whatever life throws our way. A perfect example is when my husband first told her that has DS. In trying to look into the future and be positive he said to her, "Maybe will be out on his own or maybe he will need or want to remain living with us. If he likes baseball and Deb does not want to go to a game with me, maybe will want to be go. Maybe he will be my baseball buddy." Her response to that was, "He's not a PET!!!" We have always tried to be positive about ' future the way we are with all of our children. The only time I was sad was when I realized that he may never get married and have children. I came to the realization though that God has a plan for and may not want the same things in life as I did. I was projecting what I had wanted in my life on him. So far in my experience, kids with Ds do not see things the same way as most of us do. They have a innocent simple appreciation for things we complicated folks take for granted. I have no doubt that was given to us as a constant reminder of what is really important in life and I thank God everyday for him and what he has brought to my life.

The thing I find most interesting about my MIL is that she works with mentaly challenged adults, some who have DS in a group home situation. I honestly feel she does this kind of work because their different abledness if you will, makes her feel more "normal". She can feel superior. She had no idea they had early intervention for kids like . She said when he turned three I could check into programs for him. I promptly informed her that he was already being signed up at 3 weeks of age. I visited the home she works in once when my husband and I were dating and it was a very uncomfortable place to be. Not because of the "clients" (they used to call them patients, it changes all the time) but because it reminded me of one of those homes where parents dump their children because they don't want to deal with them.

Here is something that struck me recently.....If I shipped one of my "typical" kids off to an institution because I did not want to deal with them, people would think I was a horrible, irresposible parent. If I shipped off for the same reason, people would not think much about it and would probably feel bad for me and not him. Heck, the governement might even help pay for it. Why is one ok and not the other? Perception I guess. I would never do either, but I can only speak for myself and I am not criticizing anyone else. Look at me ramble. Don't even get me started on the whole plastic surgery thing. That would take a few e-mails. Did anyone see "Skin Deep" on The Discovery Channel about the plastic surgery for kids with DS. I cried. It was horrible what they did to that little boy and they made him look "strange". I thought he was adorable before. I taped it if anyone wants a copy.

Debbie-mom to , , , & (ds) 10 3/4 months

Re: mother in law

Debbie,Thank you for sharing your story. What an incredible nightmare--What is it with these Mother-In-Laws? We all have the possibility of having that "title" someday--I cannot imagine choosing to be so vindictive...and attempting to ruin the lives of a family--was she incredibly jealous of the happiness of your family? I am glad things turned out the way they did and I think it is perfectly o.k. to choose not to spend time with people who are not life giving. Good for you!MarciaMom to Sara (DS) and Gabreil 5 and Lucas 9

http://DSyndrome.com/Multiples

[Guest guest]

Jen, I'm not Sheri B but these were sent a week or so ago when someone else

asked for them, hope they help you.

http://www.vaclib.org/basic/polio.htm

http://www.vaccines.plus.com/Polio%201%20LR.pdf

http://www.vaccines.plus.com/Polio%202%20LR.pdf

http://portland.indymedia.org/en/2005/02/311094.shtml

) ~ http://www.thelucastribe.com

~ KUSTOMIZED KIDS ~ http://www.cafepress.com/kustomizedkids

Featuring Personalized Baby & Children's Clothing + Natural

Parenting/Breastfeeding Advocacy Products

JULY 4TH designs are up!

~ Visit Us on LiveJournal (ask to be my friend!)

http://rachellucas6.livejournal.com

mother in law

Thank you Sheri B!!

I sent them to my mother in law. Do you happen to know if there are any on

Polio?? This is the one vaccine my mother in law is worried about. She won

t take the time to read long medical emails. She would rather read small

emails with statistics and graphs.

jen c

[Guest guest]

My 85 year old mother in law lives with us and her asthma has really become bad

lately. She is now nebbing 4 times a day and on oxygen at night. My wife is

taking her to the a pulmo today.

Don't know if they will recommend xolair for her or not. If they do, she has

medicare D, Federal Blue Cross. They are GREAT with specialty drugs.

This poor woman really needs some relief.

Doug

Group founder