HELP

[Guest guest]

Toni, Please do not put anything on the incision, including Neosporin. Just let it drain, the melted fat needs to get out, let it drain and it will heal on it's own from the inside out. You just need to keep it clean, put a gauze over it to hlep protect yoru clothing. If you can have antibiotic as a precaution it is better but not absolutely necessary. Just do not put anytihng inside or over it, jsut wash over it when you shower with antibacterail sopa an suse a clean towel to dry lightly over it. It is normal for some persons and it is a reaction to the port. They are called seromas and some persons are prone to them after any type of surgery. NinaBipley <Bipley@...> wrote: Cyrena... The equipment isn't hot at all, matter of fact two docs are holding all four trocars with rubber gloved hands the whole time. The 5th trocar is held with a stand only to keep it still, it's the one that maintains constant gas in the abdomen. The melting fat is the port reacting to the fat and the fat responds by melting. Don't you wish we could have something in there to melt it alllllllllll?????? LOL!! On 6/9/07, Cyrena Weeks <cyrenaweeks > wrote: Toni, This is totally normal. The "machine" that they use to place the port is VERY hot. It melts the fat around the area and yours is coming out now. I can't imagine this happening but Yolanda explained the day after surgery that it is totally normal and to use gauze. Remember to be cleaning those incisions with antibacterial soap and no more neosporen, you could keep it from coming out - we don't want that Take care and keep us updated on how you are doing. Try to focus on healing right now, not weight loss. "Easier said than done huh?"

Cyrena www.mylapbandjourney.com (240) 230/181/150 DOB: 1/19/07 Help I hope this has happened to someone and you can

tell me its normalI was banded on May 28, 2007. Last night my port site looked infected under the tape that was put on at surgery. So I took off the tape and and the damn broke. I wasn't blood but it was a blood tinged liquid. It ran and ran for probley 10 minutes. I really was getting light headed. It finally stopped so I put neosporin and a bandaid on it and went to bed. During the night I got up and it had bled again all over my closes and the bed. I am not sure what to call the liquid. It is not full blood. It isn't pus either. Not sure what to do. My doctor is out of town and my insurance won't cover the an emergency room. Has this happened to anyone else. Oh by the way this morning it appears really good. No infection or anything. I havn't lost any weight either since Monday, a little discourged. Thanks Toni

Nina Eguia Patient Coordinator, Dr Aceves888 344 3916 , 619-962-8142nina_eguia@...

[Guest guest]

Thank Nina,

I will call my doctor on Monday for an antibiotic. I am just a little worried because I do get infections easy. Most diabetics do. Thanks alot.

Toni

[Dr-Aceves-bandster s] Help

I hope this has happened to someone and you can tell me its normalI was banded on May 28, 2007. Last night my port site looked infected under the tape that was put on at surgery. So I took off the tape and and the damn broke. I wasn't blood but it was a blood tinged liquid. It ran and ran for probley 10 minutes. I really was getting light headed. It finally stopped so I put neosporin and a bandaid on it and went to bed. During the night I got up and it had bled again all over my closes and the bed. I am not sure what to call the liquid. It is not full blood. It isn't pus either. Not sure what to do. My doctor is out of town and my insurance won't cover the an emergency room. Has this happened to anyone else. Oh by the way this morning it appears really good. No infection or anything. I havn't lost any weight either since Monday, a little discourged. Thanks Toni

Nina Eguia Patient Coordinator, Dr Aceves888 344 3916 , 619-962-8142nina_eguia (DOT) com

Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on Travel.

[Guest guest]

Sorry, my mistake I thought Yolanda said it was heat from that thing that melted the fat, I agree, if that is the case, melt it all while you are in there :)

Cyrena www.mylapbandjourney.com

(240) 230/181/150

DOB: 1/19/07

[Dr-Aceves-bandster s] Help

I hope this has happened to someone and you can tell me its normalI was banded on May 28, 2007. Last night my port site looked infected under the tape that was put on at surgery. So I took off the tape and and the damn broke. I wasn't blood but it was a blood tinged liquid. It ran and ran for probley 10 minutes. I really was getting light headed. It finally stopped so I put neosporin and a bandaid on it and went to bed. During the night I got up and it had bled again all over my closes and the bed. I am not sure what to call the liquid. It is not full blood. It isn't pus either. Not sure what to do. My doctor is out of town and my insurance won't cover the an emergency room. Has this happened to anyone else. Oh by the way this morning it appears really good. No infection or anything. I havn't lost any weight either since Monday, a little discourged. Thanks Toni

[Guest guest]

Cyrena...

I have been thinking and I believe Dr. Aceves is doing this ALL wrong! He could just change the procedure a bit and melt it ALL instead of making us burn it all off! I think we need to approach him as a group and suggest he change his technique! HA! Think he'll buy it?

I'm thinking not. ;o)

On 6/9/07, Cyrena Weeks <cyrenaweeks@...> wrote:

Sorry, my mistake I thought Yolanda said it was heat from that thing that melted the fat, I agree, if that is the case, melt it all while you are in there :)

Cyrena www.mylapbandjourney.com

(240) 230/181/150

DOB: 1/19/07

[Dr-Aceves-bandster s] Help

I hope this has happened to someone and you can tell me its normalI was banded on May 28, 2007. Last night my port site looked infected under the tape that was put on at surgery. So I took off the tape and

and the damn broke. I wasn't blood but it was a blood tinged liquid. It ran and ran for probley 10 minutes. I really was getting light headed. It finally stopped so I put neosporin and a bandaid on it and

went to bed. During the night I got up and it had bled again all over my closes and the bed. I am not sure what to call the liquid. It is not full blood. It isn't pus either. Not sure what to do. My doctor

is out of town and my insurance won't cover the an emergency room. Has this happened to anyone else. Oh by the way this morning it appears really good. No infection or anything. I havn't lost any weight either since Monday, a little discourged. Thanks Toni

[Guest guest]

I AGREE you let me know when and I'm so there for that meeting :)

Cyrena

[Dr-Aceves-bandster s] Help

I hope this has happened to someone and you can tell me its normalI was banded on May 28, 2007. Last night my port site looked infected under the tape that was put on at surgery. So I took off the tape and and the damn broke. I wasn't blood but it was a blood tinged liquid. It ran and ran for probley 10 minutes. I really was getting light headed. It finally stopped so I put neosporin and a bandaid on it and went to bed. During the night I got up and it had bled again all over my closes and the bed. I am not sure what to call the liquid. It is not full blood. It isn't pus either. Not sure what to do. My doctor is out of town and my insurance won't cover the an emergency room. Has this happened to anyone else. Oh by the way this morning it appears really good. No infection or anything. I havn't lost any weight either since Monday, a little discourged. Thanks Toni

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/4/2007 8:00:53 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time, Sheriducky@... writes:

and living in a small, stressful, chaotic, over-crowded house filled with people and their stuffmakes it next to impossible to even get around. with a yard that is very uneven and the neighborhood streets are too hilly for me to walk to or from the house.

I don't know if anyone asked - and I don't want to overstep my boundaries; however, are you able to move so you aren't in this situation and get into counseling to help you with the depression, etc. If this has already been addressed, I am sorry (trying to get current).

(( Hugs ))

See what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/4/2007 11:11:59 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time, debbypadilla@... writes:

If you had a friend who was in a relationship with someone who beatthem, you'd tell them to leave right? But yet many of us have this same relationship with(unhealthy) food and yet we never leave it.. wewelcome it with open arms because it whispersplatitudes in our ears of how good it will taste, thepleasures of the moment.. but how long before it'sback to beating you down.. like the abusive spouse? How often does it really make you feel good.. whendoes it really make you feel better? Thing about it..

One word: wow

You are so right Debby. Lots of people can say it lots of different ways, sugar coat it and make it all pretty, but it comes down to one thing. Food can't do *it* for us. There are a lot of gals on this list that swear by FLY lady in getting your home, etc organized and I'll say it again. Read her "Body Clutter" book - it may just help <any of us> work through the reasons "why" behind the "stuffing feelings, etc down with food"

See what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Debby, I just wanted to let you know that you are very encouraging and you make some very good points. I think you are right on. I know even though this letter was to someone else, it still touched me inside too. Thank you. ShirleyDebby Padilla-Hudson <debbypadilla@...> wrote: --- ri <Sheriduckyaol> wrote:> right now i need to just work on this severe> emotional pain before i > can even

think about trying to eat different.. I think you missed what I am saying. Part of theemotional pain you are feeling is from *NOT* takingcare of yourself. NOT making the right choices. Alsoall of the physical chemicals that continue to makeyou feel this way because of poor food choices andlack of exercise. It is a perpetual cycle you are in. Each day you cantake baby steps, do a little something more, and thennot only will you feel better physically and start themomentum in the right direction, but you will feelbetter emotionally because you are living in integrityand taking care of yourself. You seem to be under the impression that you need tofeel better emotionally before you can take care ofyourself, but it is the OTHER WAY AROUND. You musttake care of yourself and then you will feel better. All you have to do is take a baby step each day, buildon that, no matter how hopeless you feel.

Forceyourself to do it. Force yourself to take some kindof action every day.> well, right now i don't really care if i live or> die.. i'm *trying* > to choose 'live', that's why i'm trying to find some> help with this > emotional pain and severe depression. Because you are not really living the way you are now,so it is understandable you wouldn't feel like livingin the state you are in now. Only you can getyourself out of this, and you start by taking action.> really? you can't have *any* type of ice cream? not> even sugar-free, > dairy-free, whatever-free ice cream? > my mom and sister and nieces all eat 'rice dream',> which is sugar-> free and dairy-free. > just wondered.. I *can* have ice cream, I *can* eat what ever I want,but I *choose* not to because there are prices I haveto pay for my choices, and I am not willing to paythem.

I'd rather have a life than have any food. Itdoesn't matter what kind of ice cream, not only can I*not* do moderation with any ice cream in any form orfor that matter *any* kind of artificial sweetener, Ialso can't lose weight and I get problems with ithealthwise (due to candida overgrowth). Same alsogoes for fruit, nuts, grains, dairy, etc.> went downhill so much more. now i can't even stand> up for 2 minutes > without my back feeling like it's going to break if> i don't sit or > lay down, and my sides feel swollen all the time> now. everything is > all of a sudden like 10 times worse.. Yes I understand because I've been there. Get this,*you* are keeping yourself in that condition. Everytime you choose to eat bad foods, you choose the painyou are in. You have complete control over yourchoices.. noone controls that but you.> no, food doesn't make me happy, it

does comfort me> tho. well, when i > am able to eat.. sometimes i am too depressed andIt may feel "comforting" for the few minutes you eatit.. but then comes hours and hours of pain, emotionalissues, etc. Is that really worth it?> i'm not afraid of dying.. it would put out of my> misery. most of the > time i *want* to just die.. You want to die so that is why you continue to makethe choices you do. Because you don't see any otherway that it can better. I'm telling you that thesalvation is in giving up your love affair with food.> what i don't want is tro end up in a hospital, of> paralyzed or blind > from a stroke or something, that's what i'm afraid> of, not dying. That very well may happen to you if you don't stop..but you can choose YOU right now.> it does while im eating it.. it gives me the fix i> need for a while > so i

can make it thru.. So do drugs. Look at these before and after pictures:http://www.co.multnomah.or.us/sheriff/images/meth/roll%20overs/136060.jpghttp://www.co.multnomah.or.us/sheriff/images/meth/roll%20overs/136060%202.5%20years.jpgAre you going to let your addiction to food run yourlife?> not with the way things are right now.. i need help.The only help you need is your own!> i don't have a kitchen that is usable. except a> fridge/freezer. Then eat things raw.> the person that provides the food for me doesn't> have much money, he > only works part-time, so i have to get the cheapest> food most of the > time, like

from the $1 menu. which is fine,> mcdonald's $1 double > cheeseburger and $1 fries is fine with me. i pretty> much live on just > that. Doesn't the $1 menu have a side salad? Can't you getfood stamps?> i don't know, i'm just trying to get thru each day,> anyway i can.. i > cry most of the day, just sobbing from the horrible> pain. and if > eating something bad for me can ease that horrible> pain for a while, > then bring it on.. Lather, rinse, repeat. How long are you going to keepyourself in this cycle? What do I need to say to youto have you wake up and realize that you are CHOOSINGthis situation? You are choosing it by making badfood choices. You are choosing it by not doing whatyou can every day. You are choosing it eating thefood in the first place. You say you are surviving on the $1 menu, but are yousaying you are staying fat when

you are only eating asmall hamburger and french fries? You aren't eatingseveral of them? Are you having soda with that? Can you just drink water? Can you ask for a side saladinstead of fries? Can you cut down on the amount? Can you call a local food pantry or church to helpyou?> this is not the way i want it to be, i'm just trying> to survive. and > if it ends up killing me, i don't care. the only> thing i care about > right now is this unbearable emotional pain.. You feel as if you are a victim, but you are only avictim because you CHOOSE to be.> seriously, i appreciate the offer, i really do! and> hope i can take > you up on it someday! if the offer still stands.> that would be > awesome. but right now i think that would be too> much for me to > handle. > besides i still have the privacy issue. Are you saying that there is no

single time of day ornight that noone is at home? None of the people workor sleep? You can't talk me at 3am when everyone issleeping or in the middle of the day?> i cant talk to my family about my problems, so> letting them listen is > definitely *not* an option. seriously.. : / Then don't talk, LISTEN. As I stated I can talk toyou in such a way you wont' have to say much, and Ican phrase things in a way where you can answerquestions with just yes and no.> oh, they definitely do.. they remind me every single> day.. > i am not the only overweight person in my family,> but i am the > biggest and most unhealthy by far.. So you live with your family, and none of them willbuy you appropriate food?> but this isn't about weight right now, this is about> my emotional > state, that is what i cant talk to them about, or in> front of them. i

> keep most everything hidden from them. As I said above, your emotional state is a problembecause of your physical state. Not just because itsucks and is miserable being fat, but also because youmake bad choices so you feel bad about yourself, andbecause of all the chemical and physical factors thataffect depression.Luv,DebbySan , CA380/242/170-------------Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. --Helen KellerMy son Hunter Hudson (10/11/04) http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/Heal yourself with nutrition: http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Autos new Car Finder tool.

Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.

[Guest guest]

Thanks . It took me a long time to re-prioritize

food into it's proper place in my life -- like putting

gas in my car. I put quality fuel in my body so I can

count on performance.

When I think about enjoying my food, socializing with

my food, comforting with my food, I remember what it

was like being 380 pounds. I think of all the things

I'd have to give up just to eat what ever I want.

The hikes in the park, the bag of clothes from storage

that I can now wear that I haven't been able to wear

for 7 years, the clearing up of my arthritis,

psoriasis, high blood pressure, being able to breathe

again, being able to play with my son, etc.

I think that sometimes people don't really GET the

cost that they are paying every day all day for a few

minutes of pleasure with food.

A few minutes of pleasure for days, weeks, months (for

me) of misery. And every bad choice compounds upon

another until we are overwhelmed with how much work it

will take to lose weight.

I see this with my own mother who despite having a

small heart attack and stroke and being well over 300

pounds continues to eat for pleasure.

We need to eat, no doubt, and being hungry is no way

to live, but we don't need to eat junk when there are

plenty of quality things we can eat.

Then many of us justify it, saying we are getting

veggies when we are eating ketchup and fries. I

know how easy it would be for me to get caught up in

my food addiction again.. I have no denial in this

area, yet I still have to make that choice.. choose

life free of the food-slave.. every day, day after

day.

I make this choice through happy times and sad times,

boredom and frustration, etc. because my feelings are

fleeting and good times and bad times pass.

Socializing is possible without food. If I eat over

any of those things the results stay with me much

longer then the fleeting feeling.

I love flylady .. most of the stuff she does I already

do and try to show people how it works in relation to

other things besides cleaning.

I learned a long time ago the value of baby steps..

probably the biggest example was when I was in my

early 20's and 310 pounds. I wanted to learn to

rollerblade.

Rather than invest in an expensive pair of

rollerblades when I might not like it, I got a cheap

pair. For a week I spent 10 minutes a day just

*standing* in them, letting my muscles get used to the

new sensation.

For the next week, I rolled back and forth for 10

minutes holding on to a rail. At the end of three

months, I was speed-skating.. skating so fast I kept

up with bikes on the street, and was skating on

streets rather than sidewalks.

I got so good at balancing I rarely fell and when I

did I learned how to fall on my knee/wrist pads. I

didn't have a car so my rollerblades became my

transportation and I rollerbladed around 20 miles a

day!

The point where flylady talks about once you focus on

JUST keeping your sink shiny, it leads to other

things, is the same type of baby step I recommend to

people with exercise, dieting, time management, etc.

as it has worked really well for me.

One person I am mentoring right now, I gave her a list

of just three things to do each day and asked her to

commit to me to doing them.

The biggest problem I see often from people is that

all-or-nothing mentality. New years resolution

syndrome.. where people get all Gung-Ho about dieting

or exercising, make changes way too fast and then get

discouraged when they are overwhelmed.

I always encourage people to set very small sequential

goals. I might tell someone for 2 weeks to only focus

on getting a certain amount of water. After 2 weeks

of making it a habit, I'd ask them to do 3 minutes of

exercise 3 days a week for a month, etc.

OK I've rambled enough.. sorry this is so long.

Luv,

Debby

San , CA

380/242/170

> One word: wow

>

> You are so right Debby. Lots of people can say it

> lots of different ways,

> sugar coat it and make it all pretty, but it comes

> down to one thing. Food

> can't do *it* for us. There are a lot of gals on

> this list that swear by FLY

> lady in getting your home, etc organized and I'll

> say it again. Read her

> " Body Clutter " book - it may just help <any of us>

> work through the reasons " why "

> behind the " stuffing feelings, etc down with food "

--- ABrite@... wrote:

> If you had a friend who was in a relationship with

> someone who beat

> them, you'd tell them to leave right?

>

> But yet many of us have this same relationship with

> (unhealthy) food and yet we never leave it.. we

> welcome it with open arms because it whispers

> platitudes in our ears of how good it will taste,

> the

> pleasures of the moment.. but how long before it's

> back to beating you down.. like the abusive spouse?

> How often does it really make you feel good.. when

> does it really make you feel better? Thing about

> it..

-------------

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of

trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition

inspired and success achieved. --Helen Keller

My son Hunter Hudson (10/11/04) http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

Heal yourself with nutrition: http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Shirley,

I think that you are on the right path. I think maybe

some of the technical stuff in your case is probably

more of an issue for you then the head stuff.. based

on what I've read of you (and of course I don't know

you) but you seem to have a really great attitude,

maybe being applied to things that don't necessarily

work the best for your particular body type, genetics,

health conditions, etc.

Keep up the good work!

Luv,

Debby

San , CA

380/242/170

--- Shirley Cleaver <shiri.mama@...> wrote:

> Debby,

> I just wanted to let you know that you are very

> encouraging and you make some very good points. I

> think you are right on. I know even though this

> letter was to someone else, it still touched me

> inside too. Thank you.

> Shirley

-------------

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of

trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition

inspired and success achieved. --Helen Keller

My son Hunter Hudson (10/11/04) http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

Heal yourself with nutrition: http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Rita,

I bet they will spring back very soon with good care. Take them out, strain

them, and start giving them a fresh change of milk every day to watch the

magic happen. You'll notice the flavor improves day by day. Keep them at

room temperature.

Marilyn

On 6/22/07, Rita s <soaping@...> wrote:

>

> I joined a few months ago or weeks ago but had not said Hi to the group.

> My Daddy passed away and I just have not been with it.

>

> I have some Keifir grains and they set in the milk in the ref. for weeks,

> what do I do with them now? Are they still good or do I need to trash

> them

> and get more new ones and start over? If I can keep them, please tell me

> exactly what I need to do with them now..........

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/21/2007 12:39:21 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, debbypadilla@... writes:

One person I am mentoring right now, I gave her a listof just three things to do each day and asked her tocommit to me to doing them.

Do share: pray tell - what are the 3 things? :-)

The biggest problem I see often from people is thatall-or-nothing mentality. New years resolutionsyndrome.. where people get all Gung-Ho about dietingor exercising, make changes way too fast and then getdiscouraged when they are overwhelmed.

I fight this from time to time. If I know I can't get to Curves 3x that week, why bother, etc?

I always encourage people to set very small sequentialgoals. I might tell someone for 2 weeks to only focuson getting a certain amount of water. After 2 weeksof making it a habit, I'd ask them to do 3 minutes ofexercise 3 days a week for a month, etc.OK I've rambled enough.. sorry this is so long.

Don't be - it's good info - love your insights. I am usually tired by the end of the day, so don't have any mind-blowing epiphanies to share, but that's ok too

See what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Hi Debby, You are quite an encourager. That is definitely one of your strengths. Reading what you want to do with your degree, in my opinion FITS YOU WELL! I know when you become a success story you will encourage many others to become content with themselves and to reach their goals. Thanks, Shirley

Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos more.

[Guest guest]

> > right now i need to just work on this severe

> > emotional pain before i

> > can even think about trying to eat different..

>

> I think you missed what I am saying. Part of the

> emotional pain you are feeling is from *NOT* taking

> care of yourself. NOT making the right choices. Also

> all of the physical chemicals that continue to make

> you feel this way because of poor food choices and

> lack of exercise.

>

> It is a perpetual cycle you are in. Each day you can

> take baby steps, do a little something more, and then

> not only will you feel better physically and start the

> momentum in the right direction, but you will feel

> better emotionally because you are living in integrity

> and taking care of yourself.

>

> You seem to be under the impression that you need to

> feel better emotionally before you can take care of

> yourself, but it is the OTHER WAY AROUND. You must

> take care of yourself and then you will feel better.

> All you have to do is take a baby step each day, build

> on that, no matter how hopeless you feel. Force

> yourself to do it. Force yourself to take some kind

> of action every day.

>

> > well, right now i don't really care if i live or

> > die.. i'm *trying*

> > to choose 'live', that's why i'm trying to find some

> > help with this

> > emotional pain and severe depression.

>

> Because you are not really living the way you are now,

> so it is understandable you wouldn't feel like living

> in the state you are in now. Only you can get

> yourself out of this, and you start by taking action.

>

> > really? you can't have *any* type of ice cream? not

> > even sugar-free,

> > dairy-free, whatever-free ice cream?

> > my mom and sister and nieces all eat 'rice dream',

> > which is sugar-

> > free and dairy-free.

> > just wondered..

>

> I *can* have ice cream, I *can* eat what ever I want,

> but I *choose* not to because there are prices I have

> to pay for my choices, and I am not willing to pay

> them. I'd rather have a life than have any food. It

> doesn't matter what kind of ice cream, not only can I

> *not* do moderation with any ice cream in any form or

> for that matter *any* kind of artificial sweetener, I

> also can't lose weight and I get problems with it

> healthwise (due to candida overgrowth). Same also

> goes for fruit, nuts, grains, dairy, etc.

>

> > went downhill so much more. now i can't even stand

> > up for 2 minutes

> > without my back feeling like it's going to break if

> > i don't sit or

> > lay down, and my sides feel swollen all the time

> > now. everything is

> > all of a sudden like 10 times worse..

>

> Yes I understand because I've been there. Get this,

> *you* are keeping yourself in that condition. Every

> time you choose to eat bad foods, you choose the pain

> you are in. You have complete control over your

> choices.. noone controls that but you.

>

> > no, food doesn't make me happy, it does comfort me

> > tho. well, when i

> > am able to eat.. sometimes i am too depressed and

>

> It may feel " comforting " for the few minutes you eat

> it.. but then comes hours and hours of pain, emotional

> issues, etc. Is that really worth it?

>

> > i'm not afraid of dying.. it would put out of my

> > misery. most of the

> > time i *want* to just die..

>

> You want to die so that is why you continue to make

> the choices you do. Because you don't see any other

> way that it can better. I'm telling you that the

> salvation is in giving up your love affair with food.

>

> > what i don't want is tro end up in a hospital, of

> > paralyzed or blind

> > from a stroke or something, that's what i'm afraid

> > of, not dying.

>

> That very well may happen to you if you don't stop..

> but you can choose YOU right now.

>

> > it does while im eating it.. it gives me the fix i

> > need for a while

> > so i can make it thru..

>

> So do drugs. Look at these before and after pictures:

>

> http://www.co.multnomah.or.us/sheriff/images/meth/roll%

20overs/136060.jpg

> http://www.co.multnomah.or.us/sheriff/images/meth/roll%

20overs/136060%202.5%20years.jpg

>

> Are you going to let your addiction to food run your

> life?

>

> > not with the way things are right now.. i need help.

>

> The only help you need is your own!

>

> > i don't have a kitchen that is usable. except a

> > fridge/freezer.

>

> Then eat things raw.

>

> > the person that provides the food for me doesn't

> > have much money, he

> > only works part-time, so i have to get the cheapest

> > food most of the

> > time, like from the $1 menu. which is fine,

> > mcdonald's $1 double

> > cheeseburger and $1 fries is fine with me. i pretty

> > much live on just

> > that.

>

> Doesn't the $1 menu have a side salad? Can't you get

> food stamps?

>

> > i don't know, i'm just trying to get thru each day,

> > anyway i can.. i

> > cry most of the day, just sobbing from the horrible

> > pain. and if

> > eating something bad for me can ease that horrible

> > pain for a while,

> > then bring it on..

>

> Lather, rinse, repeat. How long are you going to keep

> yourself in this cycle? What do I need to say to you

> to have you wake up and realize that you are CHOOSING

> this situation? You are choosing it by making bad

> food choices. You are choosing it by not doing what

> you can every day. You are choosing it eating the

> food in the first place.

>

> You say you are surviving on the $1 menu, but are you

> saying you are staying fat when you are only eating a

> small hamburger and french fries? You aren't eating

> several of them? Are you having soda with that? Can

> you just drink water? Can you ask for a side salad

> instead of fries? Can you cut down on the amount?

> Can you call a local food pantry or church to help

> you?

>

> > this is not the way i want it to be, i'm just trying

> > to survive. and

> > if it ends up killing me, i don't care. the only

> > thing i care about

> > right now is this unbearable emotional pain..

>

> You feel as if you are a victim, but you are only a

> victim because you CHOOSE to be.

>

> > seriously, i appreciate the offer, i really do! and

> > hope i can take

> > you up on it someday! if the offer still stands.

> > that would be

> > awesome. but right now i think that would be too

> > much for me to

> > handle.

> > besides i still have the privacy issue.

>

> Are you saying that there is no single time of day or

> night that noone is at home? None of the people work

> or sleep? You can't talk me at 3am when everyone is

> sleeping or in the middle of the day?

>

> > i cant talk to my family about my problems, so

> > letting them listen is

> > definitely *not* an option. seriously.. : /

>

> Then don't talk, LISTEN. As I stated I can talk to

> you in such a way you wont' have to say much, and I

> can phrase things in a way where you can answer

> questions with just yes and no.

>

> > oh, they definitely do.. they remind me every single

> > day..

> > i am not the only overweight person in my family,

> > but i am the

> > biggest and most unhealthy by far..

>

> So you live with your family, and none of them will

> buy you appropriate food?

>

> > but this isn't about weight right now, this is about

> > my emotional

> > state, that is what i cant talk to them about, or in

> > front of them. i

> > keep most everything hidden from them.

>

> As I said above, your emotional state is a problem

> because of your physical state. Not just because it

> sucks and is miserable being fat, but also because you

> make bad choices so you feel bad about yourself, and

> because of all the chemical and physical factors that

> affect depression.

>

> Luv,

> Debby

> San , CA

> 380/242/170

>

> -------------

> Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through

experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,

vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. --Helen Keller

>

> My son Hunter Hudson (10/11/04)

http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

> Heal yourself with nutrition: http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com

>

[Guest guest]

hi jill...sorry for your positives...lots of expertise on this site...relax we are here to help .there is stregth in numbers and we have all been where you are...if you can post up any history you can...any drugs otc meds that have been recently?before 2/7/03 what was your DOC?...more purell or other exposure in the workplace?do you have or can you get us your exact numbers on your positives?if you will kindly review the posts you may have some other ideas just post em up...hang in there things will get better we can and will help you...regards,robin Jill Schroeder-Hall <jillypill@...> wrote: I've had neg etg tests for three years then all of a sudden the board/CA calls me and tells me i have had 2 pos tests 4/19 and 5/31..i had never even heard of etg...i have been sober and in recovery since 2/7/03...i am petrified that i wiil have another one as i have no idea what it could be..the only thing i can think of is my hair spray my parfume and spray suntan lotion..any ideas...what do i need to do ..i am getting two MRO's and letters from AA people , family and co-workers...Jill

[Guest guest]

You have had two positives about a month apart? your just being told

about them now? Maximus didnt send you home from work, make you do 90

in 90 and go to a DEC?

>

> I've had neg etg tests for three years then all of a sudden the

> board/CA calls me and tells me i have had 2 pos tests 4/19 and

> 5/31..i had never even heard of etg...i have been sober and in

> recovery since 2/7/03...i am petrified that i wiil have another one

as

> i have no idea what it could be..the only thing i can think of is

my

> hair spray my parfume and spray suntan lotion..any ideas...what do

i

> need to do ..i am getting two MRO's and letters from AA people ,

> family and co-workers...Jill

>

[Guest guest]

Hey RI. I am no therapist OR anything. If you would like to send it to me privately I would be glad to read it and try to direct you in the right direction. I am not a pro by anymeans BUT this I do know if I did not try to watch calories, and make better choices I would be 600 lbs. I have been yo yo ing for 10 years. So here I sit at 236. I struggle daily to figure out my triggers and get a better way of life. They say there is always an issue to overcome with food and obsesity. Just a thought. Have you ever check out OA on line. I know part of that is moving threw issues is big on there 12 step plan. Keep the faith.

NH. Start 4/5/07241.2/233.0See what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

--- Eileen <ebax@...> wrote:

> I have been meaning to post that I really appreciate

> your input. Although

> your personal program could be considered quite

> strict, you did the research

thanks so much Eileen.

> and tried different things until you figured out

> what would work for you. In

> other words, you DID YOUR HOMEWORK. You are gentle

I'm still playing and tweaking with things. I abused

my body so bad with yo-yoing in the past it's really

stubborn!

> with people, while

> reminding them that the " all-or-nothing " routine,

> whether it be food,

> exercise, supplements, whatever, NEVER works long

> term. It really DOES

> start with one step, like drinking your water, or no

> food after 8pm.

Thanks. Maybe some people can do it that way.. I don't

know. I think each person has their own obstacles and

they have to keep sharing, reading, learning and

trying to find their way around them. I do see most

people don't seem to do well with that all or nothing

attitude.

> Many overweight persons (me included) just want

> someone else to tell us what

> to do, or worse, take a pill, get cut open,

> whatever, to fix it NOW.

I want that too! The difference I guess with me is I

realized that all the *wanting* in the world isn't

going to get it for me.. it's the DOING that I have to

do. Besides.. this is so much more than about weight.

It's about emotional maturity, making the right

choices, taking good care of ourselves, self-esteem,

self-nurturing, long term health, values, and more.

I've always been a bit self-centered so putting myself

first wasn't a big obstacle for me, but I do have a

lot of responsibilities so I did have to learn to

manage my life and time effectively to be able to find

the time to do anything!

> Even when abused for years, mine intrinsically knows

> what works and what

> doesn't. It likes water, it likes MILD exercise, it

> doesn't like when I

> deliberately avoid the signals it sends me. It

> wants the thyroid Rx that I

> forget most of the time. When I was doing water

> aerobics, my ankle,

> arthritic for years, improved 95%. It also gets

> confused if I try to do

> much or too many things at once.

You know from my research thyroid issues and arthritis

are caused by an incorrect diet for a particular

person. I actually turned my thyroid issues around

and got rid of my arthritis just through nutrition.

Let me know if you want to learn more.

> I've been struggling to get to the gym, and there

> seem to be barriers

> everywhere, things like forgetting the workout

> towel, or the headphones to

> my Palm, or the frozen water bottles. Some of them I

Oh goodness.. I've had this too! I have a list of

things I take (water, towel, book to read, mp3

player/headphones) and it only has like 6 or 7 things

on it, and if I dont' read the darn list every time I

will forget something! Now I'm pretty good about it

though.

> minutes later, after a

> shower and getting dressed, I still have a face that

> makes me look like an

> end-stage alcoholic.

Ha ha.. yeah I hate that.

> a generally quiet

> residential neighborhood. I would not have to carry

> the bag, I would not

> have to figure out what to do with my hair, and I

> would not have a red puffy

> face when I get to work.

You know that's what it is about.. just figuring out

what motivates you. I always say if exercise makes

you uncomfortable emotionally or physically, all the

will power in the world won't make you stick with it

indefinitely. The key is to try to find creative ways

to enjoy it (like while watching your favorite tv show

or reading a book), fit it in your life, and do it

slowly enough so that you never have pain.

> So, that's my plan. We'll see how well this works.

Good luck.. keep us updated!

Luv,

Debby

San , CA

380/242/170

-------------

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of

trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition

inspired and success achieved. --Helen Keller

My son Hunter Hudson (10/11/04) http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

Heal yourself with nutrition: http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com

[Guest guest]

>> Ri and Debby... I wasn't sure who wrote who from this...

hi. sorry i wasn't clear enough in my reply.. i don't know how to

post in colors like you did.

i'm the one that said i just wish i was dead..

>> but I want to comment one what part. I am sure as I go through

the rest of my emails it will become more clear... but...

>

> Here is a section of this that really caught my eye...

>

> " i'm not afraid of dying.. it would put out of my misery. most of

the

> time i *want* to just die..

> what i don't want is tro end up in a hospital, of paralyzed or

blind

> from a stroke or something, that's what i'm afraid of, not dying.

>

> >> Don't let yourself get to the point where there is no

> return.. don't let yourself get to the point where you

> have hit your bottom like I did.. turn it around now..

> because I promise you that nothing tastes as good as

> being able to live LIFE.. to be able to walk, get out

> of your chair.. it's better than a million cookies! "

>

> I don't know if everyone has had thought like this, but you know,

I have. Actually... Not very long ago I felt that way. About

dieing... about " being put out of my misery " and that everyone else

could do a better job and would be happier without me.

yes, exactly, i'm sure everyone one would be alot better off without

me, i am a burden to my family.

thank you so much for replying to this, it helps so much to know

someone understands.

>> It is OVERWHELMING sometimes to be so overweight. I complicates

everything.

that's for sure..

>> people judge us for what is on the outside most often.

very true.

>> Sometimes people would even not listen to my ideas... because

they weren't valid, but when someone else voiced the same idea, it

became a great one. Its hard.

that's horrible.

>> I woke up one morning and had an inkling to give it all I have

one last time. I was also ready to go to doctors and see what they

could do for me... but it has to be God to put this idea for the

challenge with me. He knew I am an all or nothing person. For me I

have been working out everyday for the last week and a half and

everything except the swimming took everything within me to just do

it, but the point in me sharing that is I feel better. I still have

a long ways to go.... but even my husband can tell an inner

transformation.

that is very cool!

i just keep praying and try to stay close to god and just trust him.

>> I encourage you to give it all you got.

sometimes it takes everything i've got just to make it from one

minute to the next, everyday is a major major struggle, mentally and

physically, just to do the everyday normal things.

>> Life is worth living, but you have to get to a point where you

can see that. I have been through a lot in my life and for a while

the depression made it hard to see things clearly. Right now, I feel

like I am just emerging from a 10 year dark place. Its really

weird... but I feel like I lost 10 years of my life and I have a long

way to get to where I can feel comfortable in my skin completely.

i understand that, i feel like i've lost years of my life too, and i

still am..

>> I will be praying for you and I hope things get better. I have

been where you are and I know how it feels, but I wish for you to

experience life for what it should be.

thank you so much fpr your reply. it is *so* nice to know someone

understands even a little of what i got thru..

thank you.

ri

[Guest guest]

>i don't know how to

> post in colors like you did.

It depends on how you do your email. If you use a program like Outlook

Express or Thunderbird, or use an on-line program like or Google mail,

just choose Rich Text format and the buttons should appear to choose font,

color, bold, etc.

[Guest guest]

>> >i don't know how to> > post in colors like you did.> > It depends on how you do your email. If you use a program like Outlook> Express or Thunderbird, or use an on-line program like or Google mail,> just choose Rich Text format and the buttons should appear to choose font,> color, bold, etc.

oh, cool.

thanks!

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much Shirley, that means a lot. I of all

people know how hard this all can be. I've had all of

the obstacles people have had here and then some.

Insulin resistance, boredom eating, getting to such a

high weight I couldn't exercise even if I wanted to.

I was so heavy I couldn't stand long enough to cook

myself healthy meals, so I started for 2 months just

eating the healthiest microwave meals I could find,

until a bit of the pain from standing eased off some.

I've been through all the social situations, peer

pressure, holidays, etc.

One by one I have knocked down my obstacles.. many

times I had to find creative ways to get around them,

sometimes I had to set up strong boundaries with

people, like I no longer cook on holidays. Mostly the

only obstacle I'm dealing with now is just being

patient and waiting for my slow body to get the rest

of the weight off, and being happy in the moment.

When I hear people talking about their struggles I

relate to them, I feel them, I feel connected to them

stronger than any other area of life. I've been fat

since I was 6 years old. I know what it's like to

avoid doing things because you are fat, to be made fun

of, to hate the way clothes never fit, to wish you had

another body, to wonder why you've been dealt this

lot.

But ultimately there are no quick fixes, just

consistently making good choices day in and day out.

But making these good choices doesn't just help you

lose weight, it makes you feel empowered, it has

positive impacts all over your life in all areas.

So I try to stay strong, never giving in for a moment,

because just taking that step backwards might slide me

right back to the beginning. I don't cheat not

because I am strong, but because I am weak. I know

that if I let the food in, if I give into it, I could

so easily just start eating and eating again, just

like an alcoholic.

So I don't take that first bite. I constantly remind

myself what I could possibly be giving up if I did

that, how much better things are for me without that

food, without being so heavy. I remind myself that I

*can't* do moderation, no matter how much I wish I

could, that my body wants a certain kind of food and

no other, and I think what ever I have to to avoid

eating that food that doesn't work for me.

The wanting of food never goes away. I will always

*want* ice cream.. but I want all of the things I have

now MORE. I have to choose them every day,

consciously, willingly. Taking one bite of ice cream

for me is plunging head first into an abyss of despair

- willingly. I can't deny that I know what happens

when I go there.

I have a lot of strategies for any number of

obstacles. I'd be happy to share with people here if

they have any obstacles they want to throw out.. gives

me practice and helps keep me focused. So if any of

you would like to share with me your obstacle(s) let

me know. Like for instance if you cave late at night,

or you have a hard time dealing with holidays, or what

have you.

Luv,

Debby

San , CA

380/241/170

--- Shirley Cleaver <shiri.mama@...> wrote:

> You are quite an encourager. That is definitely

> one of your strengths. Reading what you want to do

> with your degree, in my opinion FITS YOU WELL! I

> know when you become a success story you will

> encourage many others to become content with

> themselves and to reach their goals.

-------------

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of

trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition

inspired and success achieved. --Helen Keller

My son Hunter Hudson (10/11/04) http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/

Heal yourself with nutrition: http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com

[Guest guest]

Probably genetic makeup. That's my take, also different estrogen levels. I am beginning to see a pattern here. Anybody else? Tracey Lets do something!!!lauta67 <lauta67@...> wrote: My name is and I'm a pharmacist living in Florida. I have had two + etg's within eight months (both over 4000). My clean & sober date is 12/2005. I spent 15 months in treatment and just returned home recently. My DOC's were opiates w/apap

and etoh. The 1st + egt occurred while I was still in treatment (half-way) house. I was called everything but a liar. I was horrified and shocked that this was happening to me (since my last drink was sometime in Nov 2005). Not realizing that apap was a possible culprit, I continued using it daily. I have since stopped. Thank God I found this website and I'm not alone. Any ideas why my etg's are so high???????

Fussy? Opinionated? Impossible to please? Perfect. Join 's user panel and lay it on us.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Wow, relatively speaking, 4000 is a whopper! But that could be to your advantage in that it shouldn't be terribly difficult to narrow down the source. Look at HYGIENE PRODUCTS...perfume, deodorant, hand sanitizers, hair spray. Remember that INHALED sources of EtOH bypass the first-pass effect and can therefore be much more dangerous in terms of their contribution towards EtG than ingested sources. Look at your DIETARY INTAKE. There's the obvious (cherries jubilee and rumballs) and there's the not-so-obvious (soy sauce, flavored coffees, any dessert rich in vanilla, marinated meats). You might consider keeping a food log which may help, when confronted with a positive test, to narrow down the source. READ LABELS on EVERYTHING! It will become second nature for you.

Lorie

Help

My name is and I'm a pharmacist living in Florida. I have had two + etg's within eight months (both over 4000). My clean & sober date is 12/2005. I spent 15 months in treatment and just returned home recently. My DOC's were opiates w/apap and etoh. The 1st + egt occurred while I was still in treatment (half-way) house. I was called everything but a liar. I was horrified and shocked that this was happening to me (since my last drink was sometime in Nov 2005). Not realizing that apap was a possible culprit, I continued using it daily. I have since stopped. Thank God I found this website and I'm not alone. Any ideas why my etg's are so high???????

[Guest guest]

hi angela...i would check LFTs for signs of chronic liver damage review post/paper on chronic long term liver damage in apap/opiates on as little as 4 grams /day..all the apap in your doc in high daily amounts could have caused liver damage contributing to high postives...exposure any other liver meds too supplements otc whatever..hang in there worse numbers than yours on this site still proven false positve also do you have your creatinine values?...regards,rlauta67 <lauta67@...> wrote: My name is

and I'm a pharmacist living in Florida. I have had two + etg's within eight months (both over 4000). My clean & sober date is 12/2005. I spent 15 months in treatment and just returned home recently. My DOC's were opiates w/apap and etoh. The 1st + egt occurred while I was still in treatment (half-way) house. I was called everything but a liar. I was horrified and shocked that this was happening to me (since my last drink was sometime in Nov 2005). Not realizing that apap was a possible culprit, I continued using it daily. I have since stopped. Thank God I found this website and I'm not alone. Any ideas why my etg's are so high???????