Radio, awareness of ASD

[Guest guest]

Hi, everyone. I don't post too often, simply no time, but still try to at least

read these as I

can. I live in Akron. I am a single mom of three, two of which are on the

spectrum. (One

is my 12 year old daughter, for the poster that said she thought she was the

only mom

with a girl on this group!).

I, too, am always dismayed at non-autism supporters' comments, like this person

on the

radio. If we didn't have someone we love with autism, we would not be as in

'in-tuned' to

this population as we are now. We have to take some of this with a grain of

salt. Please

do not take what I am going to write as being insulting or anything. It isn't

meant to be.

My kids were runners and my 9 yr. old son with autism still speaks as if he is

is yelling

(even sounding angry at times, when he is clearly not). I, too, have been on

both sides of

the fence. I didn't take my children, when younger, to nice restaurants and

allow them to

scream just because they " had the right " to be there, too. My children do not

have the

right to ruin everyone else's nice evenings out. Those folks are paying for

their dinners

because they wanted a break and a nice evening out, also, or are taking a night

out away

from their own children. Of course, our kids need to learn to act appropriately

in a public

place or restaurant! But sometimes that means taking baby steps, or as Dr.

Jensen pointed out to me years ago, even if it means you ask to be seated, order

water and

then leave at that time, until you can work up to then ordering, then waiting

patiently, then

on and on. baby steps. My children were removed immediately and our food was

packed

up when they were little if they had horrible restaurant or public behaviors. I

had to

sometimes pay a sitter just to run simple errands, because my kids could not

handle more

than one 5 minute errand at a time. Nothing seemed to get done on MY schedule.

I have

seen many parents, even those with kids on the spectrum, decide that THEY want a

night

out, have no sitter and they are not going to let their child stop them from

dining out, and

so allow their child to scream, only for me to see that they didn't bring

anything to

entertain the child with, or they were too engrossed in their adult conversation

and

ignoring their child's need for whatever. We've all seen this with typical

kids, but it

happens with parents of kids on the spectrum also. I never had an adult

conversation in

public as long as my children were present, or we didn't get through a meal.

The radio person was simply stating their opinion, as we all are doing over

this. Yes, it

angers me, too, but I believe she just needs to be educated to some degree, but

that

doesn't mean it will stop her comments. She, like all of us, have the right to

speak our

minds freely. Maybe she should be invited to a meeting of the local autism

society, but

would any of us somewhere we'd be bashed on over and over again? I guess I have

become calmer over the years, and at times, have learned to just brush off

uneducated

people. You aren't going to change them anyways. I have learned to ignore

inconsiderate

people. Do what it takes to support your child and your family. NO one else

matters on

the short or long run.

Am I big on awareness? you bet. I am the one with the AUTISM license plate in

Summit

County (which some people find offensive that I put my children's disability on

my actual

plate). I have an " I LOVE SOMEONE WITH AUTISM " bumper sticker next to it on one

side

and another bumper sticker about finding the cure " . I am all about awareness,

always

have been. I tell store clerks and everyone in line that my child is on the

autism spectrum.

But now that they are older, and comprehending everything I say, I think it is

now

infringing on their right to privacy at times, and to not be labelled publicly,

and to not

display their disabiity so proudly. My plate will be changing when it expires

soon, and

available to anyone who wishes to have it next. This and my bumper stickers has

gotten

me to talk to people I would never have met otherwise, given me a chance to talk

to other

parents, grandparents, neighbors, etc. of families that live with or know

someone with

autism. I have had thumbs up at red lights, or someone pulling up alongside me,

honking

their horn, saying " I also have a child (or brother) with autism " . We are all

out there. It's

been a great public educator, in my opinion. I thought about the t-shirts

another group

member posted, even looked into an ebay business for it, with comments like, " I

stim,

therefore, I am " , or " Questions about autism?...just ask my mom " , and others.

They work

with small children, and on adults, but my daughter would be HORRIFIED now if

her

disability was made public for all to see. She says I have those things on my

car because

of her younger brother (certainly not her, too). He would not like them,

either.

We all need to support our children and love them no matter what, but not

everyone else

has to. They don't walk in our shoes, and until they do, most of them will

never

understand our sitiation, and don't care to, either.

I was appalled at the radio announcer's comments, but over the years, I have

just chalked

it up to, " What a sorry, insensitive, uneducated person that is! " and just feel

sorry for them

that they will never understand the kind of deep, deep love, patience, and

understanding

of others' weaknesses that we parents have been educated on with these kids of

ours.

This is not meant to antagonize anyone, it is simply my humble opinion, based on

my own

personal experiences. I love my chidren, know their rights, but we all have to

be

considerate of others' rights, too.

One reccomendation to the parent who posted that they have to walk by all the

empty

handicapped spots...if your child is a runner and it is dangerous for him/her to

walk any

distance safely to a store, your physician should be able to get you a

handicapped plate for

your vehicle. This was mentioned to me years ago. Just a thought. It seems

sometimes

that there are all these empty handicapped spots, but with 27% plus of the

population

being handicapped in some way, they still don't have 27% of the spots on the lot

earmarked as such.

Okay, everyone can blast me now.

S.