RE: [SPAM] Stop the Madness!!!

[Guest guest]

What school system are you in? Just curious and I want to make sure I AVOID it at all costs!

I am enraged for you! I am trying to think of what you should do - I'm sure some of the more experienced people in our group will have good advice. I am seething and I don't know where to start but this is horrible and not acceptable and I don't know what to do to help. My first instinct is to get him out of there! I guess that is not logical but it is how I feel. It breaks my heart when they do not do what they SHOULD be doing and they cause so much damage. Your family is in my thoughts.........

Becky

----- Original Message -----

From:

Sent: 10/24/2006 8:00:00 PM

Subject: [sPAM] [ ] Stop the Madness!!!

Hi, everyone!

When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same week. The good news is the first one went fine.

Then there's the not-so-good news....

The second meeting dealt with "behavior issues" for my oldest son (nearly 7) who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a behavior problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's because he perseverates on cartoon characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the point of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his new "behavior changes." Basically, they were informing me that they were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be having more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to read him this social story from hell about how this was what was going to happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my "cease and desist" letter and informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior plan that would cause him harm. So, we called a meeting.

Here's what I learned:

They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and help come up with these "behavior changes" without my knowledge or consent. Had I not stopped them, they would have done this without having bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to perseverate so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety, no one knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when they started apologizing to me and saying that maybe they handled it wrong, but they didn't want to "stress me out" over it, so they thought they could just handle it at school. They have a "calm" room that he goes to when he's in full-meltdown mode. It is the size of a closet. It has no windows. His social stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy balls, teddy bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall so that he can see what he looks like when he's tantruming. I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do the assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many times she has observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!). So, I told them that was my point. Everyone in the room had preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no guess as to the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative behavior). They could produce no data sheets to support any of this. I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters into his lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I asked them to give this a try. I gave them information on his disorder so that they will understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing, screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or consent. When I observed my son in class, he seemed very stressed. The classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at recess. That's not like him. If I ask him anything about school all he says is, "I work." I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but it's a daily occurence at school.

I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the "behavior consultant" was from. I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out. She said they were great with kids who have severe conduct disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally different. She said she was afraid they would implement a negative behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case for his own good. So, I wrote a letter to this effect today in his communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using on a regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER.

The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the situation all wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way, perhaps using the "calm" room as a punishment instead of a safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy, trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying things that are demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me if they are mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they were...however, I never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior plan. So, I don't know what to think anymore.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,

--Suzanne

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[Guest guest]

Great job Suzanne, for standing up for your son! I think I would have exactly done the same thing!! I think you need to get an advocate as a next step perhaps and keep writing them letter. Send it certified - just in case. You never know with these school people. I am thinking about you... Ps. I found all my behavior mgmt handouts. Any way you can meet me this Thurs or Fri to pick up the copies? It's this whole binder. If you can't meet me, I will mail it to you by Sat. You have done everything to the T as far as what a parent can do - you were awsome, empowered with knowledge and took the wind out of their sails right away! Proud of you!!! Way to go! And...I hope your son is feeling better. Becky <rwulfe@...> wrote: What school system are you in? Just curious and I want to make sure I AVOID it at all costs! I am enraged for you! I am trying to think of what you should do - I'm sure some of the more experienced people in our group will have good advice. I am seething and I don't know where to start but this is horrible and not acceptable and I don't know what to do to help. My first instinct is to get him out of there! I guess that is not logical but it is how I feel. It breaks my heart when they do not do what they SHOULD be doing and they cause so much damage. Your family is in my

thoughts......... Becky ----- Original Message ----- From: Sent: 10/24/2006 8:00:00 PM Subject: [sPAM] [ ] Stop the Madness!!! Hi, everyone! When we last left our saga, I had two IEP meetings in the same week. The good news is the first one went fine. Then there's the not-so-good news.... The second meeting dealt with "behavior issues" for my oldest son (nearly 7) who has Asperger's and ADHD. Okay, he's never been a behavior problem. He is very sweet, kind, and polite. He tries to get along with everyone. So, why is he a behavior problem? Well, it's because he perseverates on cartoon characters when he's anxious, upset or bored. They said it got to the point of interfering with him getting his work done. After 7 weeks of school, they decided to tell me this with a letter detailing his new "behavior changes." Basically, they were informing me that they were going to take away all of his characters and that he would be having more outbursts and tantrums at home and school. But I was supposed to read him

this social story from hell about how this was what was going to happen, and that he WILL be happy. That's when I wrote my "cease and desist" letter and informed them that I felt this was a negative behavior plan that would cause him harm. So, we called a meeting. Here's what I learned: They brought in a behavior consultant to observe him and help come up with these "behavior changes" without my knowledge or consent. Had I not stopped them, they would have done this without having bothered to do an FBA and figure out what was causing him to perseverate so much. When I asked what they thought was causing all the anxiety, no one knew. I asked how they thought they could modify behavior when they didn't know the cause of it. That's when they started apologizing to me and saying

that maybe they handled it wrong, but they didn't want to "stress me out" over it, so they thought they could just handle it at school. They have a "calm" room that he goes to when he's in full-meltdown mode. It is the size of a closet. It has no windows. His social stories are taped to the cinder block walls, and there are therapy balls, teddy bears and mats in there. They also put a mirror in it on the wall so that he can see what he looks like when he's tantruming. I had to ask for a neutral third-party to come in and do the assessment...at first they balked, because that's what the behavior consultant is for. I asked said behavior consultant how many times she has observed my son this year. She flipped through pages of notes and admitted it was a lot (again, thanks for telling me!). So, I told them that was my

point. Everyone in the room had preconceived notions of why this was happening to my son, but no guess as to the antecedent (avoiding work, overwhelmed, controlling and manipulative behavior). They could produce no data sheets to support any of this. I gave them ideas on how to incorporate his characters into his lessons and gave examples of successes we've had with this. I asked them to give this a try. I gave them information on his disorder so that they will understand it better, and I requested that no assessments, testing, screening or observations of him be done without my knowledge or consent. When I observed my son in class, he seemed very stressed. The classroom is very crowded, he is fully-included, and he will no longer tell me about the kids in his class, the teachers, the therapists -- he mentions no one, unlike last year when I heard about lots of people. He does not want to eat lunch or play at

recess. That's not like him. If I ask him anything about school all he says is, "I work." I haven't seen him meltdown that badly in awhile. He is not like this at home very often, but it's a daily occurence at school. I was quite disturbed at what I saw of him in school. So, I called his child psychiatrist. She asked me where the "behavior consultant" was from. I told her PEP Cleveland. She flipped out. She said they were great with kids who have severe conduct disorders, but not a good fit at all for ASD kids...apparently, the methodologies used for each set of disorders are totally different. She said she was afraid they would implement a negative behavior plan and cause harm psychologically to my son. I told her they already tried that. She said she wanted the PEP person off his case for his own good. So, I

wrote a letter to this effect today in his communication notebook, which I was assured everyone would be reading and using on a regular basis...unlike what had been happening. THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE LETTER. NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER. The psych is concerned that the school might be handling the situation all wrong, due to bad advice from the behavior consultant. She is concerned they might be harming him in some way, perhaps using the "calm" room as a punishment instead of a safe-haven (after all, if it doesn't sound comfy, trust me...it isn't) and that they might be saying things that are demoralizing him. Of course, they aren't going to tell me if they are mistreating him, and I would be quite shocked if they were...however, I never thought they would have implemented a negative behavior plan. So, I don't know what to think anymore. Any suggestions? Thanks, --Suzanne Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and more.

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