Guest guest Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 Hmmmmm, Ruthie, I'm gonna crash your stereotype. As you know, Lin and I don't/haven't ever attended a conference or even a social of LP's, BUT, I do get excited when I see a fellow LP walking towards me, and yes, I always smile. BUT, rarely, VERY rarely, do I get a reciprocated greeting. Yer, I know, I'm so ugly:-) No, I don't hold your own love of being in a large crowd of L.P's:-) But there is another aspect to this problem. Lin and I are well known in the town, probably because it is a small town, and so rarely get a second glance. But, there was one time I bumped into a fellow L.P, who I hadn't seen for years. I noticed, as we stood in the street talking, that we got LOTS of looks from passers by. So is this part of the reason for the much talked about rebuffs? Singularly, we are used to what looks we get and we can cope with them. Do those LP's who look the other way, pretend we don't exist, do it BECAUSE they are fearful of the (assumed) extra attention they are going to attract by stopping to talk? I guess we could discuss this subject for ever:-) Fred re " what would you do? " Although I wouldn't want to stereotype too much, just the same, I'm guessing Caela is right, most LPs who avoid eye contact when encountering other LPs, probably don't seek social opportunities through LPA etc. On the other hand, when I do run into another dwarf in the city where I work especially I am extremely conscious of how many people have been watching our paths approach intersection. It amuses me, but I'm probably not the norm. I suspect some folks, event those that might go to LPA stuff, are fairly self-conscious about being seen downtown with another, esp someone they don't know. On the third hand, when in a large crowd of LP's, it's wicked awesome to go out to eat or dance or anything together, there's some anonymity and just plain kicks in being with 10-100 others and attracting a lot of attention and it's fun in a totally absurd way (mind me, this is a crowd where we're acting normal, nothing elfin, costumed or TV-like.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 Fred and all. I'm new to LPA. Only joined for the NY National in Brooklyn in '99. I had no association with LPA or any LPs previously. I figured if I did not go to NY I would never go. NY was only 90 miles from home. Well I was overwhelm to say the least. All those LPs like me. It took a few days to feel that I belonged. I've since gone to chapter, regional and nationals. Registered for CA this year. Why? Because in a group I'm now a LP. I see my self as others see me. In Nashville last year is saw a shirt that says it best: " You laugh at us because we are different. We laugh at you because you are all the same. " Each event I attend I enjoy meeting new people. This is a place where we can " let our hair down " so to speak. Try it, it's really worth it. BTW - I'll be 70 this year. I'm widowed, married an AH for 21 yrs., had fantastic jobs and friends. I would not change my life one bit. And now I have new LP friend. Enjoy! H Sent from my iPhone On Apr 4, 2011, at 5:32 AM, " Fred Short " <Fred@...> wrote: > Hmmmmm, Ruthie, I'm gonna crash your stereotype. As you know, Lin and I don't/haven't ever attended a conference or even a social of LP's, BUT, I do get excited when I see a fellow LP walking towards me, and yes, I always smile. BUT, rarely, VERY rarely, do I get a reciprocated greeting. Yer, I know, I'm so ugly:-) > > No, I don't hold your own love of being in a large crowd of L.P's:-) > > But there is another aspect to this problem. Lin and I are well known in the town, probably because it is a small town, and so rarely get a second glance. But, there was one time I bumped into a fellow L.P, who I hadn't seen for years. I noticed, as we stood in the street talking, that we got LOTS of looks from passers by. > > So is this part of the reason for the much talked about rebuffs? Singularly, we are used to what looks we get and we can cope with them. Do those LP's who look the other way, pretend we don't exist, do it BECAUSE they are fearful of the (assumed) extra attention they are going to attract by stopping to talk? > > I guess we could discuss this subject for ever:-) > > Fred > re " what would you do? " > > Although I wouldn't want to stereotype too much, just the same, I'm guessing Caela is right, most LPs who avoid eye contact when encountering other LPs, probably don't seek social opportunities through LPA etc. On the other hand, when I do run into another dwarf in the city where I work especially I am extremely conscious of how many people have been watching our paths approach intersection. It amuses me, but I'm probably not the norm. I suspect some folks, event those that might go to LPA stuff, are fairly self-conscious about being seen downtown with another, esp someone they don't know. > On the third hand, when in a large crowd of LP's, it's wicked awesome to go out to eat or dance or anything together, there's some anonymity and just plain kicks in being with 10-100 others and attracting a lot of attention and it's fun in a totally absurd way (mind me, this is a crowd where we're acting normal, nothing elfin, costumed or TV-like.) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 I think other things play into this. Some of us are naturally more outgoing than others (like FRED, for example); some of us are shy or less comfortable with social situations - especially an unanticipated situation. (I think I'm somewhere in the middle of that scale.) Like all people - some of us are social butterflies, some of us would rather read a book. :-) (Perhaps I'm a book-reading butterfly?) Also, I have experienced different levels of comfort with my dwarfism at different times in my life. At this point in my life (age 54), and I am incredibly happy within my skin, and anyone who has a problem with that is welcome to drop dead. But, like anyone's level of happiness, everything going on in my life at a given time has in part determined how I felt about my dwarf-skin. I met my first LP (besides me, of course) at age 19 - and yes, I had that OMG moment when I wanted to turn and run (not an option - my mother was right behind me). But I was very quickly comfortable and had a wonderful time getting to know other LPs. I was involved with LPA for a while, and it was a very important part of my young adulthood. But since then I have rarely lived near a group, or the group I lived near was more interested in partying (never my favorite scene), and conventions were NOT in the budget. Since the Internet made it so much more possible to meet ALL KINDS of people, that is what I concentrate on. As I become less mobile, that is especially valuable. I guess my point is . . . don't be too quick to judge. Maybe that LP you just spotted is shy, or some experience in their youth traumatized them about seeing another LP, or they have not yet reached that place of " Yes, I look that him/her, and that is COOL " . . . or they're just having a really crappy day. No one of us knows another person's whole story. Alyce :-) On Mon, Apr 4, 2011 at 4:32 AM, Fred Short <Fred@...>wrote: > > > Hmmmmm, Ruthie, I'm gonna crash your stereotype. As you know, Lin and I > don't/haven't ever attended a conference or even a social of LP's, BUT, I do > get excited when I see a fellow LP walking towards me, and yes, I always > smile. BUT, rarely, VERY rarely, do I get a reciprocated greeting. Yer, I > know, I'm so ugly:-) > > No, I don't hold your own love of being in a large crowd of L.P's:-) > > But there is another aspect to this problem. Lin and I are well known in > the town, probably because it is a small town, and so rarely get a second > glance. But, there was one time I bumped into a fellow L.P, who I hadn't > seen for years. I noticed, as we stood in the street talking, that we got > LOTS of looks from passers by. > > So is this part of the reason for the much talked about rebuffs? > Singularly, we are used to what looks we get and we can cope with them. Do > those LP's who look the other way, pretend we don't exist, do it BECAUSE > they are fearful of the (assumed) extra attention they are going to attract > by stopping to talk? > > I guess we could discuss this subject for ever:-) > > Fred > > re " what would you do? " > > Although I wouldn't want to stereotype too much, just the same, I'm > guessing Caela is right, most LPs who avoid eye contact when encountering > other LPs, probably don't seek social opportunities through LPA etc. On the > other hand, when I do run into another dwarf in the city where I work > especially I am extremely conscious of how many people have been watching > our paths approach intersection. It amuses me, but I'm probably not the > norm. I suspect some folks, event those that might go to LPA stuff, are > fairly self-conscious about being seen downtown with another, esp someone > they don't know. > On the third hand, when in a large crowd of LP's, it's wicked awesome to go > out to eat or dance or anything together, there's some anonymity and just > plain kicks in being with 10-100 others and attracting a lot of attention > and it's fun in a totally absurd way (mind me, this is a crowd where we're > acting normal, nothing elfin, costumed or TV-like.) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 Carole, as I see it (excuse the pun), the difference between being IN that group and being the person who observes the group, is a bit like the difference between the view of the surroundings one gets from being ON the train, and the view one gets watching the train go by:-) Such a comparison has dam all to do with the subject being discussed of course:-) Fred re " what would you do? " Although I wouldn't want to stereotype too much, just the same, I'm guessing Caela is right, most LPs who avoid eye contact when encountering other LPs, probably don't seek social opportunities through LPA etc. On the other hand, when I do run into another dwarf in the city where I work especially I am extremely conscious of how many people have been watching our paths approach intersection. It amuses me, but I'm probably not the norm. I suspect some folks, event those that might go to LPA stuff, are fairly self-conscious about being seen downtown with another, esp someone they don't know. On the third hand, when in a large crowd of LP's, it's wicked awesome to go out to eat or dance or anything together, there's some anonymity and just plain kicks in being with 10-100 others and attracting a lot of attention and it's fun in a totally absurd way (mind me, this is a crowd where we're acting normal, nothing elfin, costumed or TV-like.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 A few months ago I checked into a hotel in Charlotte NC, my LP buddy was meeting me there later to start the party at the Breakfast Club (also known as " that 80's club " ) for his birthday. The guy at the front desk was little and he started my check in process with a big smile and can I help you! After a minute or so general conversation I innocently asked if he had gone to the LPA convention in Nashville this past summer, and OMG his expression turned to instant anger. He turned away in disgust and said 'no way', and proceeded to toss me my keys. My buddy and I later walked through the lobby several times and he turned away each time to avoid eye contact. Oh well, he could have made a couple new friends but I guess he didn't see the point: treat everyone like a human first. That said, I have about a 50/50 good/bad level of talking with new people. People say I have a 'stay away' look on my face! Something I was born with I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 O.K...... but for my ten penneth, you asked for it:-) Not all Chinese come from China, Not all black people come from Africa So why on earth should you assume that this LP came from the tribe that inhabits conferences? He was being extremely polite and pleasant to you, you just blew it by being remarkably personal:-) Fred, who would probably react the same as that guy:-) Re: re " what would you do? " A few months ago I checked into a hotel in Charlotte NC, my LP buddy was meeting me there later to start the party at the Breakfast Club (also known as " that 80's club " ) for his birthday. The guy at the front desk was little and he started my check in process with a big smile and can I help you! After a minute or so general conversation I innocently asked if he had gone to the LPA convention in Nashville this past summer, and OMG his expression turned to instant anger. He turned away in disgust and said 'no way', and proceeded to toss me my keys. My buddy and I later walked through the lobby several times and he turned away each time to avoid eye contact. Oh well, he could have made a couple new friends but I guess he didn't see the point: treat everyone like a human first. That said, I have about a 50/50 good/bad level of talking with new people. People say I have a 'stay away' look on my face! Something I was born with I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Correction: I joined LPA in 2009. H . Sent from my iPhone On Apr 4, 2011, at 9:26 AM, Pheber <pheber1@...> wrote: > Fred and all. > > I'm new to LPA. Only joined for the NY National in Brooklyn in '99. I had no association with LPA or any LPs previously. I figured if I did not go to NY I would never go. NY was only 90 miles from home. Well I was overwhelm to say the least. All those LPs like me. It took a few days to feel that I belonged. I've since gone to chapter, regional and nationals. Registered for CA this year. Why? Because in a group I'm now a LP. I see my self as others see me. > > In Nashville last year is saw a shirt that says it best: > " You laugh at us because we are different. We laugh at you because you are all the same. " > > Each event I attend I enjoy meeting new people. This is a place where we can " let our hair down " so to speak. Try it, it's really worth it. > > BTW - I'll be 70 this year. I'm widowed, married an AH for 21 yrs., had fantastic jobs and friends. I would not change my life one bit. And now I have new LP friend. > Enjoy! > H > > Sent from my iPhone > > On Apr 4, 2011, at 5:32 AM, " Fred Short " <Fred@...> wrote: > >> Hmmmmm, Ruthie, I'm gonna crash your stereotype. As you know, Lin and I don't/haven't ever attended a conference or even a social of LP's, BUT, I do get excited when I see a fellow LP walking towards me, and yes, I always smile. BUT, rarely, VERY rarely, do I get a reciprocated greeting. Yer, I know, I'm so ugly:-) >> >> No, I don't hold your own love of being in a large crowd of L.P's:-) >> >> But there is another aspect to this problem. Lin and I are well known in the town, probably because it is a small town, and so rarely get a second glance. But, there was one time I bumped into a fellow L.P, who I hadn't seen for years. I noticed, as we stood in the street talking, that we got LOTS of looks from passers by. >> >> So is this part of the reason for the much talked about rebuffs? Singularly, we are used to what looks we get and we can cope with them. Do those LP's who look the other way, pretend we don't exist, do it BECAUSE they are fearful of the (assumed) extra attention they are going to attract by stopping to talk? >> >> I guess we could discuss this subject for ever:-) >> >> Fred >> re " what would you do? " >> >> Although I wouldn't want to stereotype too much, just the same, I'm guessing Caela is right, most LPs who avoid eye contact when encountering other LPs, probably don't seek social opportunities through LPA etc. On the other hand, when I do run into another dwarf in the city where I work especially I am extremely conscious of how many people have been watching our paths approach intersection. It amuses me, but I'm probably not the norm. I suspect some folks, event those that might go to LPA stuff, are fairly self-conscious about being seen downtown with another, esp someone they don't know. >> On the third hand, when in a large crowd of LP's, it's wicked awesome to go out to eat or dance or anything together, there's some anonymity and just plain kicks in being with 10-100 others and attracting a lot of attention and it's fun in a totally absurd way (mind me, this is a crowd where we're acting normal, nothing elfin, costumed or TV-like.) >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Hello all, That is ashame he acted that way and that was very unprofessional as well. It just makes me think he is uncomfortable with his dwarfism. I say that because of his reaction to your question about attending the conference. He could have just said he did not feel like going, or he's not into groups, or would rather not become a member and that would be the end of it, but to get up in arms about it says something. My mom was an LP and my dad was AH, we were never active in LPA and after her passing when I was 11 I had really no other contact with other LP's until my late teens. I did not join until I was 20 years old. I had no desire but it was really because I did not want to face the fact I was an LP. I was trying very hard to fit in at college, find guys to date like my friends, and be a part of the group. I finally broke down and joined LPA in 2000 and have happily been a member ever since. Being around other's like me doesn't make me feel more out of the norm, it's given me the best of both worlds and I wish others like the person you mentioned could understand that.  Unfortunately being around other LP's makes you realize what you really are and some just can't handle that. I'm an LP, it's not a big deal, I'm short, I got over that years ago, I'm happy with myself, and I am blessed to have LP's and AP's in my life. I wish everyone could just feel positive about their dwarfism. - ________________________________ From: " .Manasas@... " <.Manasas@...> dwarfism Sent: Mon, April 4, 2011 11:42:10 AM Subject: Re: re " what would you do? "  A few months ago I checked into a hotel in Charlotte NC, my LP buddy was meeting me there later to start the party at the Breakfast Club (also known as " that 80's club " ) for his birthday. The guy at the front desk was little and he started my check in process with a big smile and can I help you! After a minute or so general conversation I innocently asked if he had gone to the LPA convention in Nashville this past summer, and OMG his expression turned to instant anger. He turned away in disgust and said 'no way', and proceeded to toss me my keys. My buddy and I later walked through the lobby several times and he turned away each time to avoid eye contact. Oh well, he could have made a couple new friends but I guess he didn't see the point: treat everyone like a human first. That said, I have about a 50/50 good/bad level of talking with new people. People say I have a 'stay away' look on my face! Something I was born with I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 You are correct . I didn't anticipate his reaction which I did find unprofessional. A simple 'no sir' would have been better, but I guess he wanted to clearly send me the message that the topic was not going to continue. You would think that working the front desk of a very busy hotel would expose him to hundreds of people each day, increasing the chances of another LP encounter. His reaction should have been more practiced by now...maybe it was. Thinking about a few other encounters, it seems that LP's seem to be in three groups. What difference? Don't wanna talk about it! and super friendly. My best friend is super friendly to everyone until someone says anything about his height. Nashville was his first anything with other LP's. He walked into the lobby and said to me 'this is weird!' At first I thought how weird it was for him to say that, but them remembered my 'first time' walking into the lobby of the hotel in Detroit myself. It is all perspective, and what you get used to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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