Re: The infamous Amazing me.

[Guest guest]

Hi Sabrena,

Great discussion, I've had thoughts about this as well. I personally hate it

when people give me praise or say I am inspirational for just living my life

doing ordinary things. I've had a few strangers use the word inspirational and

I've asked them why, I then try to explain to them that I am just like everyone

else, and they really need to look to someone else for inspiration. What bothers

me the most is when it comes from my family, the people who've known me my whole

life. When I was at my cousin's wedding another cousin who is 50 introduced me

to her boyfriend and said something like: " ya, she even has her own apartment! " .

I just looked at her and said I'm 29, why wouldn't I?? It's hard enough when

society (or AP men) don't see me as a confident, independent, 29 year old,

educated woman, but when your own family can't give you at least that, it can be

rough.

I have no problem with taking praise, but give it when I've actually done

something to deserve it. Driving a car and having an apartment is not praise

worthy. People with other disabilites do not inspire me because they are living

their life just as I'm trying to live mine.

I do have people who are inspirational to me, but they are people who have gone

above and beyond what they had to do. An example is my cousin who is going back

to Iraq and he's only 23. This will be his second tour and he supports the

mission totally and knows he may be sacrificing his life. He is an inspiration

to me, and others like him who stand up for his beliefs. That to me is a

personal example of inspirational, not a dwarf driving a car.

-

[Guest guest]

Sabrena and all,

I am a role model for other people who have lost their vision.

You see, I live in a condo by myself. I order groceries over the internet.

I do my own laundry, sort of clean up after myself.

I fight to keep my independence.

I have visually impaired friends that when their families want to take their

independence away they tell them about me. How I live by myself and take

care of myself.

I do have a cleaning lady that comes in every other week to straighten me

out. My daughter helps out when I get in trouble.

When my son was living in the area he helped out a lot.

Now what do I say to people that admire me? I will tell them that I am

living my life as a blind person. I even have told someone I am a role

model.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Ugh! I HATE the " amazing " myth. If I was 5'2 " none of what I do would be

amazing.

I usually respond that I'm just doing what everybody else is doing. No big

deal.

-marty (the lady one)

Marty -Merritts

Administrative Assistant Intermediate

UM School of Nursing

400 NIB, Room 4342

Ann Arbor, MI 48109-0482

phone: 734-615-3288

>>> " Sabrena and/or " <sabrenar00@...> 09/19/08 9:33 PM >>>

We are having an interesting conversation on another disabled list I am on

and I am curious to see what the people on this list think and feel...

How do you feel when an AP comes up to you and tells you that you are

" amazing " or an " inspiration " to them because as a dwarf, you can...? (you

can insert anything in the thing you can do category from driving a car to

raising kids to cleaning house to sky diving.)

Do you feel embarrassed or annoyed or grateful or what? How do you react

and what do you say to these people?

Sabrena

------------------------------------

===

[Guest guest]

I don't think size makes anyone amazing.. I am 4'9 " and I have done some great

things... Height had nothing to do with it....  LP's are amazing if they change

the world / laws for the better... BUT.... someone 5'8 is too.......

I think some look at LP's as amazing for adapting to a world built for taller

people...   They see the inner strength that they have never been forced to use

or find....

Re: The infamous " Amazing " me.

Ugh! I HATE the " amazing " myth. If I was 5'2 " none of what I do would be

amazing.

I usually respond that I'm just doing what everybody else is doing. No big deal.

-marty (the lady one)

Marty -Merritts

Administrative Assistant Intermediate

UM School of Nursing

400 NIB, Room 4342

Ann Arbor, MI 48109-0482

phone: 734-615-3288

>>> " Sabrena and/or " <sabrenar00comcast (DOT) net> 09/19/08 9:33 PM >>>

We are having an interesting conversation on another disabled list I am on

and I am curious to see what the people on this list think and feel...

How do you feel when an AP comes up to you and tells you that you are

" amazing " or an " inspiration " to them because as a dwarf, you can...? (you

can insert anything in the thing you can do category from driving a car to

raising kids to cleaning house to sky diving.)

Do you feel embarrassed or annoyed or grateful or what? How do you react

and what do you say to these people?

Sabrena

------------ --------- --------- ------

===

[Guest guest]

I agree with you in part , I think people that do things above and

beyond the mundane can be amazing but not so much those just going about

their business. Still, just because I am totally blind, people think I am

" amazing " because I can cook, clean the house, paint the house, garden, use

a computer, raise a challenging child on my own, and even sew. To me, those

are mundane things and I am able to do them just fine with a bit of

adaptation. But to the eyes of others who really have not been in my shoes

and who really have difficulty imagining what it is like to live life being

totally blind, (Or a dwarf, or deaf, or insert anything you want in here,)

it is amazing to them that I can do these sorts of things. At first, like

many of my blind friends, I felt a bit annoyed, but as I got older, I

started thinking that it is not such a bad thing. It gives people hope that

there is indeed life after blindness, which by the way, is the most feared

of all disabilities to get. Personally, I would rather be an inspiration

to people than someone to be pitied because of my disability. I have

learned through the discussion on our other list and this one as well, that

it seems better to just acknowledge and thank the person rather than just

say something like " It is nothing, " or something like that because the

person you are saying this to feels brushed off rather than being thanked

for having the nerve to even come up and say what they did. I have heard

stories where people have been hurt by such statements more often than not

so I try to just thank them and go on even though internally I sometimes

wonder what they think is so amazing about the things I do.

Of course it is more annoying if it is your own family that does this

because they have known you much better than a stranger so should know that

you are doing what you do just by adapting to the situations and not because

of some amazing power, but of course they can also have the same trouble

putting themselves in our shoes as anyone else I suppose.

Sabrena

----- Origin

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

 

I think people handle situations differently based on who they are as a person.

I don't feel I'm being up tight when I reject the inspirational comments at

all.  To me, someone saying I am inspirational for trivial things is the same as

pity, its just the other end of the spectrum. I'd rather have people mind their

own business and look at me like anyone else. I guess for me I wasn't raised to

view people differently or view them with inspiration or pity for their

difference or disability. I would never, never go up to someone and ask how old

they are, how tall they are, how they go to the bathroom, how they drive a car,

tell them they are inspirational, etc. I was not raised to do that and that is

how I would raise my kids. I would raise them that everyone is equal, one

doesn't deserve pity while the other one does, and to just learn that people do

things differently. How I react is how even my younger cousins react, they are

very respectful towards

differences, I've seen others kids stare while they don't. They are not about

pity, they understand everyone is different.

 

With that being said, that is not my universal reaction, if someone is

respectful and strikes up a conversation and can see I am not in a hurry or in a

convo with someone else, if they have a question then I would answer it. It

really has to do with how their approach is.

 

One example is when I was at a bathroom at a festival, I walk out and a little

girl about 3 had a comment about me, the mom got embarrased and told her to

shhhh.  I look at the mom and smiled and said it's okay, just let her know that

everyone is made differently and that's okay. I tried to let the mom know it's

nothing to be ashamed about, its an opportunity for her child to learn. I will

definitely have a convo if I feel it would benefit the parent in how to teach

their child about differences.

 

We each react differently,

 

-

[Guest guest]

That's right , it all depends on the approach of the other person, how

personal the question is, and how it is asked, as well as the time one has to

answer and stuff which can make the responses different for each circumstance.

Sabrena

[Guest guest]

I know they mean well but it is annoying because its ignorant, thinking

that any of us can do anything 'normal' is soo amazing. I usually get

stuff like that when I go out to clubs, " oh its so great to see you

out " lol Like I was given a 3 day pass from the institution...lol I

just smile and try to get away asap. I will say tho, I dance better

than any of them nimrods anyway, so yeah, its amazing, tee hee

The more we are out there just living our lives, the more ppl will see

and not see it as so rare and amazing.

Bonnie

>

> We are having an interesting conversation on another disabled list I

am on

> and I am curious to see what the people on this list think and feel...

> How do you feel when an AP comes up to you and tells you that you are

> " amazing " or an " inspiration " to them because as a dwarf, you can...?

(you

> can insert anything in the thing you can do category from driving a

car to

> raising kids to cleaning house to sky diving.)

> Do you feel embarrassed or annoyed or grateful or what? How do you

react

> and what do you say to these people?

> Sabrena

>

[Guest guest]

Had to smile at this one:-)))))

Reminds me of one day Lin and I were visiting our local HUGE mall with our

niece!

We were having a rest on one of the seats outside the store my niece (30)

had gone to spend money in. My sister (nieces mother) saw us and asked

where her daughter was.

Ready for this? She beat a hasty trip into the store to find her daughter

to tell her we were sat on a seat!!!!!!!!!

Our niece just turned to her and said " Yer? So? " :-)))))))))))

In other words my sister was asking why her daughter had left us alone!!!!!!

And THAT is family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fred

Re: The infamous " Amazing " me.

I know they mean well but it is annoying because its ignorant, thinking

that any of us can do anything 'normal' is soo amazing. I usually get

stuff like that when I go out to clubs, " oh its so great to see you

out " lol Like I was given a 3 day pass from the institution...lol I

just smile and try to get away asap. I will say tho, I dance better

than any of them nimrods anyway, so yeah, its amazing, tee hee

The more we are out there just living our lives, the more ppl will see

and not see it as so rare and amazing.

Bonnie