RE: Re: New pics of me- M

[Guest guest]

Well, I guess I

already kinda knew what I would look like because I had been thin before. I

mean I knew I would have baggier skin but overall, the same me. I once read a

woman’s journal who said “I have been fat my entire life, how will

I know when I see the real me?” and that really was an “Ah ha!”

moment for me. Because I see my pictures now and I still see “fat girl”.

I don’t know if I will ever see a “gorgeous” or “pretty

person”. I have such a weird self image, really. If I look in the mirror,

sometimes I can say “Hmm, you don’t look too bad today”. And

sometimes I say “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” and want to go run and hide.

But when I was heavy, I always screamed inside my head “YUCK YUCK YUCK!”.

Now I can look and see some positive things. I can see my face outline now, I

can see my ribs if I suck it in. My butt is kinda big but goes with the rest of

me I guess. Anyway what I guess I am trying to say is, no matter how you look

on the outside, you will still be the same person on the inside. When you lose

weight, the inside person get’s to see a little more sunshine is all. J

Curtis likes to

say the inner me has peeked it’s head out and smiled. I guess I will get

better as time goes on, getting used to the new me. I am still amazed when I go

to sit in a movie theatre and my butt fits, or when I jump in my car, my

stomach or thighs do not hit the steering wheel.

Mills

DOB 3/1/05

280/165/160

5ft 6in size

8-10

http://www.tracyslapband.com

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006

6:35 PM

Subject: Re:

New pics of me- M

Dear ,

Dang girl, you are an inspiration to the rest of us!

Thanks so much for sharing your photos.

Here's my question, though. Obviously, you were a lovely young

woman, and you are a knockout now. Did you ever, at your heaviest

weight, look in the mirror and wonder what you would look like

underneath it all?

I ask because, even though I've only lost 56 pounds ( I should smack

myself in the head for the " only " part of that statement......Let

me

rephrase that to be HOT DAMN I've lost 56 pounds sinc mid-July) when

I look in the mirror I wonder if I will end up looking like the

woman that I was meant to be, underneath all of the excess adipose

tissue I've been carting around.

Or the really scary part....I was a " cute " teenager. You know, with

a great personality (ugh, the kiss of death) So, I've been

able to console myself all these years with the self-deception that

if it weren't for people being unable to see past my weight, I'd be

as attractive as anyone else.

What if I end up being a normal weight, and just ugly anyway? That

would REALLY suck! (Excuse my language, I've had a rough day and I

am in a fairly negative frame of mind...I've expended all of my

positive energy today on my patients, and I forgot to save any for

myself.)

>

> Well I have gotten brave and taken new pics even one of me in a

bikini top!

> YIKES! I wasn't too thrilled about it but hey, all in the name of

helping

> someone else right? I also did some photo shopping of my turkey

neck just

> for fun! Here is the link http://tracyslapband.com/photo.htm

>

>

>

> Mills

>

> DOB 3/1/05

>

> 280/165/160

>

> 5ft 6in size 8-10

>

> http://www.tracyslapband.com

>

[Guest guest]

you look GREAT do you here me GREAT so beleive it your beautiful. I know what you mean though i have the same problem as a matter of fact this week i've been seeing fat girl everytime i look in the mirror. I think because i haven't lost any more weight in a couple months and i have this you know (it's going to come back) thing in my head because it alway did before. I know it won't because i can't eat enough at this point for it to but i've noticed i've been eating things i shouldn't and not paying as much attention as i should. So i guess no matter how long you have been a bandster you are always learning and changing. You do look great though!!!!!!! Belinda Mills <tracy@...> wrote: Well, I guess I already kinda knew what I would look like because I had been thin before. I mean I knew I would have baggier skin but overall, the same me. I once read a woman’s journal who said “I have been fat my entire life, how will I know when I see the real me?” and that really was an “Ah ha!” moment for me. Because I see my pictures now and I still see “fat girl”.

I don’t know if I will ever see a “gorgeous” or “pretty person”. I have such a weird self image, really. If I look in the mirror, sometimes I can say “Hmm, you don’t look too bad today”. And sometimes I say “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” and want to go run and hide. But when I was heavy, I always screamed inside my head “YUCK YUCK YUCK!”. Now I can look and see some positive things. I can see my face outline now, I can see my ribs if I suck it in. My butt is kinda big but goes with the rest of me I guess. Anyway what I guess I am trying to say is, no matter how you look on the outside, you will still be the same person on the inside. When you lose weight, the inside person get’s to see a little more sunshine is all. J Curtis likes to say the inner me has peeked it’s head out and smiled. I guess I will get better as time goes on, getting used to the new me. I am still amazed when I go to sit in a movie theatre and my butt fits, or when I jump in my car, my stomach or thighs do not hit the steering wheel. Mills DOB 3/1/05 280/165/160 5ft 6in size 8-10 http://www.tracyslapband.com From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 6:35 PM Subject: Re: New pics of me- M Dear ,Dang girl, you are an inspiration to the rest of us! Thanks so much for sharing your photos.Here's my question, though. Obviously, you were a lovely young woman, and you are a knockout now. Did you ever, at your heaviest weight, look in the mirror and wonder what you would look like underneath it all? I ask because, even though I've only lost 56 pounds ( I should smack

myself in the head for the "only" part of that statement......Let me rephrase that to be HOT DAMN I've lost 56 pounds sinc mid-July) when I look in the mirror I wonder if I will end up looking like the woman that I was meant to be, underneath all of the excess adipose tissue I've been carting around.Or the really scary part....I was a "cute" teenager. You know, with a great personality (ugh, the kiss of death) So, I've been able to console myself all these years with the self-deception that if it weren't for people being unable to see past my weight, I'd be as attractive as anyone else.What if I end up being a normal weight, and just ugly anyway? That would REALLY suck! (Excuse my language, I've had a rough day and I am in a fairly negative frame of mind...I've expended all of my positive energy today on my patients, and I forgot to save any for myself.) >> Well I have gotten brave and taken new pics even one of me in a bikini top!> YIKES! I wasn't too thrilled about it but hey, all in the name of helping> someone else right? I also did some photo shopping of my turkey neck just> for fun! Here is the link http://tracyslapband.com/photo.htm > > > > Mills> > DOB 3/1/05> > 280/165/160> > 5ft 6in size 8-10> > http://www.tracyslapband.com>

[Guest guest]

It is kind of funny that mentioned the woman in the mirror. Sometimes I look at myself and I think, "My God, your face is getting too thin!" Then, the next time I look in the mirror and I think, "God! How come I don't look like I've lost any weight? Why do I still look so fat???" It is such a strange thing. Yes, I used to weigh 247 pounds. Yes, now I weigh 162. BUT, I still see the me that weighed 247 pounds! When I go try on clothes, I still find myself looking at the largest sizes first because I can't imagine that I can fit into a size 10 shirt! Then, when I put that size 8 or 10 on and it fits, I am completely shocked! I still think everyone is staring at me when I walk into a room because we all have felt those eyes looking at us with utter disgust...the fattest person in the room. I am still self-conscious when I meet new people because I am afraid they

will think I am so fat. I can't get it through my head that I LOOK DIFFERENT! I don't LOOK like I weigh 247 pounds anymore. The mind plays some terrible tricks on us! I guess I will always see the huge me instead of the thinner me. Did anyone see Shallow Hal? This reminds me of that movie a bit. Jenni Currie DOB 2/23/06 231/162/145wendyelam81 <welam@...> wrote: Hi and Belinda. First of all

, you are adorable. Absolutley adorable. So cute. I can only hope to achieve what you have. And you have given everybody a great example. You have been open and honest and sharing with your whole experience. Thank you for that. Thank both of you guys for sharing this particular little mind trap. I'm scheduled for Monday the 25th. This topic is not one I've given any thought too. I have been focused on what I need to do right now and for the next few weeks. And my long term vision was just to be skinny. I never prepared myself for still seeing the fat girl. You've given me the time to start thinking about that and to prepare for it. Thanks ladies. Your stories are what set me on my journy. I am greatful. .> >> > Well I have gotten brave

and taken new pics even one of me in a > bikini top!> > YIKES! I wasn't too thrilled about it but hey, all in the name of > helping> > someone else right? I also did some photo shopping of my turkey > neck just> > for fun! Here is the link http://tracyslapband.com/photo.htm > > > > > > > > Mills> > > > DOB 3/1/05> > > > 280/165/160> > > > 5ft 6in size 8-10> > > > http://www.tracyslapband.com> >>

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