FW: Re: My Guardian column on limb-lengthening

[Guest guest]

Re: Re: My Guardian column on limb-lengthening

Hi, Cara --

Great to hear from you, and I hope all is well with you and your family.

You make an excellent point about Dahlia. Did anyone see the print edition?

Is is possible that there was a photo of Dahlia there?

Like you, I have my own suspicions about the " totally up to Caitlin " angle.

Yes, I'm sure Caitlin got the final say, but this is after absorbing a

certain attitude in the home, no exposure to LPA, etc. The fact that she's

decided to stop after one round of surgery speaks to a certain ambivalence

as well. As Dr. Paley says, that's really unheard-of.

Dan

On Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 10:00 AM, Cara Egan Reynolds

<egan921@...>wrote:

> Great essay Dan. Thanks so much for sharing.

>

>

[Guest guest]

The one thing I would refrain from is this, and this is not a slam

towards any one on here, is to assume the following which may be

true... in fact, it could very well be.... BUT, on the flip side it

could very well NOT be as much.

1. Caitlin got her surgery due to pressure more from her mom than

her own.

We live in an age, my friends, where some kids, yes, lps kids and ap

kids, rule their parents and NOT the parents ruling their kids.

When I lived in rural New York state, and I am sure It's everywhere

and not just in the country, I met 15 year old girls who had 25 year

old live in boyfriends whether or not the mom agreed to it or if it

was even legal for that matter, they still did; 13 year old boys who

ruled their entire family, let alone just their moms, by saying,

" Listen, MOM, this is what is going to happen, and that's it, period! "

And mom did so in fear of her own son... I kid you not.

And other kids who are sooo spoiled and twisted in their own

perception of what is the 'norm', considered perfect and beautiful,

and yes maybe it was due to their parents holding the same

perception... and from the TV... and even this, their own peers... but

STILL, the KID, made their OWN decision. And aren't most kids, good or

bad, like this:

Like mom (or dad or both),

like daughter (or son)?

2. Caitlin and/or her mom made the decision due to this:

Now, this assumption may be TOTALLY true too, even in Caitlin's case,

but I really don't know, so I won't say. Maybe, she made this decision

due to her lack of exposure to LPA at an early age? Or even this, her

(possibly) lack of exposure to any other lp anywhere.... But who of us

really knows if this was it?

Because, again using the lps I met in rural, New York, of which at

least 90% were NOT members of the LPA, they were very often

independent, rugged lps who did not need anyone else, including

another lp, to make an informed decision concerning their bods/lives

and/or which jobs to have. Or to whatever else they needed or didn't

need in life as well. They just did it. Some amazed me so much as to

how independent they were, and without a solitary care as to what

anyone-be them in the LPA or in their own community thought of them

and their decision, they just were themselves with NO apologies:).

Why, because to most who knew them, they were Steve, Rob, Joe, Betty,

Liz, or Joan first and lp/dwarf second or last even.

And to any on here who may NOT believe me as to the teen girls (boys)

having live in boyfriends (girlfriends) in the same bedroom as them

too, sometimes with their parents approving and allowing it no less

and NOT out of fear of their own kid, and to the teen boys (girls),

some even younger than 13 who TOTALLY ruled their families, ask me to

take you upstate next summer, 2009, and you will see it's more

prevalent than you think. And why is that? Besides, due to a lack of

morals, guidance, example, discipline, and of course, direction..

well, NOT every family lives/thinks as you live/think.

Often times we get sooo insulated in our own lives, in our own minds,

we live and would like to think that everyone else MUST live and think

as we do, right? Because, after all, we are the arch typical 'norm' in

American society! Think again, my friends, as you may the 'norm' for

'you and yours', but you are not for everyone everywhere, even in (all

of) America. And that's where it gets dangerous saying and/or thinking

that others made the decision to have ELL or not have ELL done just

because, of course, you would not have due to your (supposed) rich and

meaningful life experiences and their (supposed) lack of them:P.

And if you think there are no lp kids who are either spoiled or

controlling to the core, haha, think again on that one too!!!!!!

We are all human, with the same great and bad qualities that all

can possess.

Finally, I joined the LPA at 17, with little exposure to lps prior to

seeing a few in a mall here and there, which when I did see them I

often hid from them, haha, as I didn't want to be seen by them, or

perhaps maybe it was the following too. Maybe I didn't want to be seen

as being one of them too? Who knows? I was only 12!!! haha In either

case, I did alright without the LPA, not being in it until I was 17.

And guess what? I didn't choose ELL and I could have.

luv, grady, and yes, like always:), you can take my opinions as yer

own, or trash them in the throne, haha, if you so choose.