~~ Newsletter 08-10-'08 Forgiveness I: Benefits of Forgiveness

[Guest guest]

*The Allowance of The Flow*

In Joy

Tappin' Love as the Energy of Creation

And Celebrating Our Oneness in Our Uniqueness

A

newsletter by Dayawanti D'Sa,

Energy

Psychology Practitioner and Applied Kinesiologist

(¨`·.·´¨)

from

`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) my

(¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´heart

`·.¸.·´ to

yours

Sunday August 10th, 2008

08-10-'08Forgiveness I: Benefits of Forgiveness

This week, a series of articles and helpful information about forgiveness will be shared in this newsletter. The first is an article from my beloved Spiritual Teacher, Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj, on the benefits of forgiveness. It is taken from the March '05 issue of Sat Sandesh magazine. His teachings on meditation on the inner light and sound, and my practicing the same, have transformed my life completely and brought in much inner and outer peace and joy. I wish that same inner peace and joy for you. If you can find an SOS center in your area (see www.sos.org for details of centers ) , I encourage you to enroll in their free Jyoti meditation classes. Enjoy!

Love, Dayu

~~~

Benefits of Forgiveness

The following is a talk given by Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj.

As I travel, I find that no matter what country of the world I visit, people are plagued by

the same troubles. When we read or listen

to the news, we find that people all over the world are struggling with

the pain they suffer themselves, or the pain of their loved ones,

neighbors, or even fellow citizens of the world who have been victims

of some kind of injury or loss. The amount of pain in the world causes

many people to feel anger, hatred, and revenge to the perpetrators of

crime or injustice. I am often asked how we can deal with these

situations.In this connection, I would like to relate an anecdote.

Once there was a warrior who went to a wise monk and asked him, "What

is the difference between heaven and hell?" The monk looked at this

warrior who was very large, muscular, and had a savage look about him.

The monk then replied, "You ignorant brute. You are nothing but a

savage. Why would I waste time with you teaching you about heaven and

hell?" When the monk said that, the warrior's blood began to boil and

he was filled with anger and hatred. Suddenly, he could not control his

temper and he started beating up the monk. After a few moments, the

warrior realized what a heinous act he was committing and stopped. The

monk smiled and said, "That fit of anger is hell." The warrior was so

ashamed for his violent act and begged the monk to forgive him. The

monk again smiled and said, "Your asking for forgiveness is heaven."This

story describes in a nutshell the answer to the question about dealing

with all the violence, injustice, and evil in the world. We can choose

to respond in kind, which creates more of a hell, or we can respond

with forgiveness, which creates heaven in our own lives on earth.We

hear accounts of people who were victims or whose loved ones were

victims of horrendous crimes. Some people may have lost their child, a

spouse, a loved, one or both parents to death at the hands of cruel and

heartless people. When interviewed, some who lost loved ones shared

their startling revelations. They learned that their own lives were

transformed by the power of forgiveness. They found that their own

physical, mental, and spiritual health improved through the power of

forgiving those who had wronged or hurt them.The news once reported

a story about two parents whose daughter was the victim of a cruel

murder many years ago, and they spent every waking day seeing that the

person responsible was brought to justice. They wanted to do everything

possible to see that the murderer was punished. It so happened that the

crime was committed by a young person when he was less than eighteen

years of age. Although a juvenile, he was sentenced to life

imprisonment. The parents who lost their child said that their lives

were filled with hatred, anger, and revenge towards the teenager. These

feelings occupied all their waking thoughts. It made them physically

sick. They could not even focus on spirituality because they were so

angry with God for what had happened. Then, one day they realized that

they had spent many years in this state of anger. They took the

decision that not only had their child's life been lost, but both of

their lives were also being lost to anger, hatred, and revenge. Then,

they did the unthinkable. They decided to forgive the person who had

committed the crime. They actually went to the prison where the person

was incarcerated and told him they had forgiven him. They met the

parents of the boy who committed the crime and realized how much they

too were suffering by what their son had done. Instead of being angry

with the boy's parents, they felt compassion that they too had in a way

lost their son as he was sentenced to prison. Through forgiving the boy

and his family, the parents experienced such a release of their pain

that they could not believe it. Suddenly, they felt a great burden was

lifted from their hearts. The person who had committed the crime when

he was a young man was also moved by their power of forgiveness and was

transformed by their love. They realized that through forgiving the

perpetrator, they had in a way saved their own lives from further

deterioration. Their health improved, they were able to function

mentally again, and they felt the love of God flow through them.There

are many cases we hear similar to this in which people draw upon inner

strength and forgive those who hurt them or their loved ones. They

recognize that their lives have changed for the better. Now, even

medical researchers bear out the physical and mental benefits of

forgiving.Let us look at how forgiveness can benefit us physically,

mentally, and spiritually. First, let us explore the physical benefits

of forgiveness. The first thing to recognize is that we do physical

harm to ourselves when we are caught up in the opposite of forgiveness:

anger, hatred, and vengeance. These feelings cause damage to the

physical body. Doctors and researchers are coming to realize that anger

and hatred have detrimental effects on our body. Let us analyze the

reason. First, there are certain responses in the physical body

designed to help protect itself in order to preserve the species. When

a living creature senses danger, there are certain hormonal and

chemical reactions with the body that help it respond to danger. These

hormones cause one to fight or take flight. They are useful for giving

the body strength and quick physical responses such as running or

protecting one's self. But if one interprets as life-threatening

problems of daily life that are not life-threatening then one is

responding with the fight or flight hormones for no reason. The result

is that we do not see a need to flee or fight, but we feel threatened.

This is converted into anger or rage. Thus, we are becoming angry over

situations that do not threaten our life. This causes the body to

circulate the hormones needed to run or protect one's self over minor

situations that are part of daily life. Because these hormones, such as

cortisol, are circulating through us when we do not need them, they end

up causing damage to the physical body. We know for example that real

cortisone has side effects to the body and doctors recommend them very

cautiously. But the body's natural cortisal when we are angry or under

stress ends up circulating through us causing stress-related ailments.

If one is continually in that state of fear, anger, or stress those

hormones cause a breakdown in other body tissues. This is what causes

stress-related ailments such as digestive problems, headaches, heart

problems, skin problems, and breathing problems. There are so many

challenges of daily life that people are responding to with the same

release of fight or flight hormones if threatened by true danger.

People may become upset if someone cuts in front of them on the road,

or someone in the house leaves the toothpaste cap off, or if someone at

work makes a small mistake. Our reactions are out of proportion to the

mistake that others make. Years ago, we may not have known the

physical dangers anger and stress cause our body. But once we know it,

we need to think about whether it is worth getting angry over trivial

situations if it means we increase our risk of heart attack, breathing

problems, and digestive problems. The relation between anger and our

body is becoming clearer day by day.The solution for protecting the

body against the hormones released by hatred, anger, and vengeance is

simple: forgiveness. It is only through forgiveness that we can calm

ourselves down and avoid the reactions of hatred and violence. If there

are large-hearted people who could learn to forgive those who caused

tragedy and death in their family, can't we learn to forgive others for

trivial mistakes? There are times that someone is really doing

something to harm us, such in cases of abuse. In that case, we need to

run and get out of the situation. But a majority of the time we are

responding to minor problems with the same intensity as if our lives

were threatened. Think about all the things that make us angry. How

many of them threaten our lives? How many are just minor annoyances.So

let us use forgiveness when someone hurts us. In this way, we can

protect our body from the damage of hormones released because of anger.

We will see a reduction in stress-related ailments. There is a

second reason why lack of forgiveness rebounds on us. There is a karmic

reaction we must pay when we are filled with anger and hatred. Picture

a boomerang. When we throw it out, it comes back to us. Karma works the

same way. When we emit anger and hatred to others, it boomerangs back

to us. The other person may or may not be hurt by our anger, but we

definitely will be. If we have angry thoughts, the other person may or

may not know it. They may sense it, but they may not even realize it.

Thus, the thoughts are coming back to us in the form of karmic

reactions, but may not even be hurting the other person to whom we are

sending those thoughts. Similarly, we may speak angry words, but if the

other person is calm and has control, it will bounce off them. Thus, we

do not hurt them, but cause those words to boomerang to us. Similarly,

we may even strike another person, but if they are someone like a

Christ or Buddha, they will either turn the other cheek or remain

unaffected. As Buddha said to someone who came to abuse him, "The gift

of anger that you bring, I do not accept." Who is the anger left with?

It is returned to the sender.If we know this, we may think twice

before sending out the boomerang of anger. If we know it will come back

to us, we can ask ourselves, "Do I want to receive the consequence of

sending out the anger?" If we know we will be hurt, we may think twice

or thrice before sending it to others.The way to avoid sending out

anger that will come back to haunt us is to forgive. If we stop our

thoughts, words, or deeds in their tracks and instead forgive, we will

receive back love and forgiveness rather than the fruits of our anger.The

third reason that anger is harmful to us is that the other person may

react to us. We may set up a chain of violence from which we find it

hard to escape. Our anger may be due to reacting to them, but when we

react, we continue the chain. It may result in an even worse situation

than the original injury. Few people can believe how many people come

to me with family problems, whether between parent and child, siblings,

or spouses who want a divorce. When they tell me the situations that

led to them wanting a divorce or family break-up they are usually

minor, trivial, and harmless. Yet, they have escalated due to action

and reaction to such a degree that one would think there was world war

three. If we look at world history, we also find situations between

people of one country and another going to war over disagreements that

may have been worked out peacefully. But instead, anger causes action

and reaction that escalates to wars where millions of people are

killed. If we realize that our reaction may cause the situation to

escalate further, we may think twice before reacting, and instead offer

forgiveness. In this way we can prevent wars between families,

communities, and countries.If we can learn forgiveness, we will

find physical benefits, such as not suffering harm to our body through

the release of hormones responding to anger and hatred. We will avoid

future karmic reactions boomeranging back to us. We will also not set

in motion chain reactions that may cause us further harm.Forgiveness

also has mental and emotional benefits. First, when we are filled with

anger and hatred, we cannot concentrate on our work. Our productivity

and efficiency may drop because we are unable to keep our mind on our

work. Instead of paying attention to our job, we are thinking about who

has hurt us, how they have hurt us, why they have hurt us, and how we

can hurt them back. This cycle of angry thoughts ruminates in our mind

and we cannot focus on our work. Thus, we may make costly mistakes. Our

boss may find the mistakes and think we are not good workers. Some

people may even lose their jobs from their inefficiency. Sometimes the

mistakes can cost others their lives. We know that drivers, pilots,

train conductors, or bus drivers can be in such a rage that they cause

an accident in which others are hurt or killed. A doctor or pharmacist

whose mind is not on their work can cause harm to their patients or

customers. There are numerous cases in which parents filled with anger

lash out at their children, causing physical abuse, and even death. The

newspapers are filled with incidents of people who cause harm because

they are so filled with rage that it effects their mental or emotional

abilities to function in the world. To avoid disastrous

consequences, it is much better to forgive. Instead of letting thoughts

of hatred and anger possess us and ruin our lives, we should stop

ourselves and forgive the other person. In this way, we can keep our

mind free and clear of the detrimental effects of anger.Medical

researchers are finding another benefit to forgiveness. It has a

positive effect on our brain. We have seen how anger causes

stress-related ailments. Scientists are now discovering that the

release of cortisol may damage our brain. Through brain scans and

medical tests, they can see that continued exposure to the body's own

cortisol and stress hormones can cause build- up in the brain's blood

vessels and nervous system that may cause stroke, damage to parts of

the brain, and maybe even Alzheimer's. They can even image the brain of

people under stress and see that certain parts of the brain can

malfunction causing anxiety, depression, and other psychological

problems. If we know that anger can cause irreparable damage to our

brain and effect our thinking and emotional states, then we may want to

consider learning the art of forgiveness. In this way we can protect

the health of our brain and maintain healthy emotions and thinking

abilities.Just as we may suffer the karmic reactions of anger on

our own body, we can also suffer mentally or emotionally from the anger

we send out. People often think of karma as something that is played

out on the physical body. What we do not realize is that we can suffer

mentally and emotionally from our past karmas. People who would go to

Sant Darshan Singh Ji with emotional or mental distress would sometimes

be told that those are reactions they are burning off from past karmas.

Thus, if we have hurt others emotionally or mentally in the past, we

may be suffering those same problems ourselves as a reaction to what we

have done. There are many people who try to relieve themselves of

emotional or mental suffering but despite many types of help or

treatment cannot. In such cases, they may be due to past karmas that

must be paid. One day they will be paid off, but until then it causes

tremendous pain to the person undergoing them. We may not be able to do

anything about our past karmas until they are paid off, but we do have

twenty-five percent free will in which we can avoid creating new karmas

that will come back to trouble us. Next time we are about to let loose

the snakes of anger on others to torment them emotionally or mentally,

we should realize that it will also boomerang on us. If we torment

others mentally or emotionally, one day we may also suffer the same

fate. So let us stop ourselves before we lay down new tracks of anger

so we do not hurt others and we will not be hurt mentally or

emotionally.Finally, if we hurt others mentally or physically, they

may react to us and we establish a negative atmosphere. We become

contributors to the negativity in the universe. It makes others want to

react back to us negatively. Before we know it, we have a toxic,

poisonous environment in our homes, our offices, in our communities,

and in the world. Do we wish to aid to the poisonous atmosphere or do

we wish to bring about one of love? We can put a stop to the pollutants

of hatred and anger by the balm of forgiveness. If we do not react to

other people's negativity, and instead forgive them, they have no one

to react against. It puts a stop to the chain reaction. If we remain

loving to others, how long will they be negative to us? They will

ultimately give up. Either they will become loving back to us, or else

they will move on to bother someone else who is more responsive to

their negativity. Thus, we have stopped our own involvement with their

negativity. In time they may be so moved by our love and forgiveness

that they may change their ways.There is the story of Sant Kirpal

Singh Ji Maharaj and a dacoit or thief in his regiment. This thief

would steal food from the soldiers. Because dacoits were considered

dangerous, no one would question him. Although everyone in the regiment

feared the dacoit, each day, like clockwork he would enter Sant Kirpal

Singh Ji's apartment and clean it.One day, when Sant Kirpal Singh

Ji returned home earlier than normal, he found the dacoit cleaning his

place. Sant Kirpal Singh Ji asked him why he was cleaning his apartment

each day. The dacoit said, "When I look at you I start trembling; my

past sins come to life."Even though everyone in the regiment feared

this man, the dacoit was afraid of Sant Kirpal Singh Ji. The dacoit

told Sant Kirpal Singh Ji that he had committed so many crimes in his

life that he could not even count them. He said he had killed over

three hundred people. Then, he asked Sant Kirpal Singh Ji, "Is there

any hope for forgiveness for one like me?" Sant Kirpal Singh Ji told

him that there was hope, "There is hope for every person. There is hope

for the worst sinner. Repent. Pray. Do no more." The dacoit was so

moved by this guidance that he decided to follow this way of living. He

gave up his old ways and turned to a life of goodness. Through the

power of forgiveness, we can experience mental and emotional benefits.

We will not suffer damage to our brain functioning. We will not be

setting up future karmic reactions. We will not set up a cycle in which

others can hurt us back emotionally or mentally.The last benefit of

forgiveness relates to our spiritual health. Medical research can only

chart the benefits to our body, mind, and emotions. But saints and

Masters, doctors of the spirit, describe from a spiritual vantage point

how forgiveness can provide spiritual benefits. As Sant Darshan Singh

Ji Maharaj said in a verse:When the world listens to your message of love and compassion,

The flames of war will be transformed into flowers of peace,And this life of ours will become a blossoming orchard.

First,

they tell us about the harmful effects of anger on our spiritual

development. If our goal is to meet God in this very lifetime then the

password to God's abode is love. God is love and only love can reside

in God's domain. Thus, for us to be fit to reenter our eternal Home, we

must become all love. Anger and hatred are foreigners in the land of

God. Each time we participate in thoughts, words, and deeds of anger

and hatred we are strangers to God's land. Darkness can no longer exist

where there is light. Hatred can no longer exist where there is love.

As long as we turn from love and become agents of hatred and anger, we

are unfit to enter God's residence. How can we make sure we are fit to

return to God? Our introspection diary is a mirror for us to see

whether we are made of love or of hatred and anger. Each night we can

reflect on the events of the day and see if we acted in love or in

hatred. If we are agents of hatred and violence, we know that we have

to do better the following day. It gives us a chance to reform

ourselves so that the next time we are in the same situation we can

have a chance to act in love. In this way, step by step, day by day, we

can become more loving. If we find we continue to act in anger and

hatred, we can apply the balm of forgiveness to change our way of

thinking, speaking, and acting. Forgiveness is the remedy for anger and

will help us re-enter the domain of the Lord.Another benefit of

forgiveness is improving our meditation. Anger and hatred are obstacles

to our meditation. We know how difficult it is to still the mind. The

more activity in our mind, the longer it takes some people to become

concentrated in their meditations. Why do we want to add more fuel to a

fire that is already out of control? Anger and hatred add more fuel to

our mind. If we go through our day getting angry about everything that

happens, those thoughts will rankle in our mind when we try to sit for

meditation. If we know that these angry thoughts cause impediments to

our meditation time, then why engage in them? It would be far better to

forgive those around us who are making mistakes so we can maintain a

calm mind during the day than to ruin our meditations. Those who

meditate with a calm mind have quicker withdrawal to the eye focus. But

if when we sit for meditation we spend the first half hour going over

how angry we are at this person and that person, half of our meditation

hour is wasted. Thus, we will have to sit longer and longer to begin to

get spiritual sights or sounds within. So, let us practice forgiveness

as an antidote to problems of stilling our mind in our meditation. We

will start to see faster results in our spiritual progress.Another

spiritual benefit to forgiveness involves decreasing our karmic load.

Spiritual progress is a balancing act between our meditations and

lightening our karmic load. Each day that we control our negative

qualities is a day that we are lessening our karmic load. We are paying

off our karmas from the past and we are avoiding creating new ones.

Anger and hatred increase our karmic load. It is like trying to wash

clothes in the washing machine while we keep pouring in more dirt and

grime. The less karma we have, the less blemishes on our soul. The more

purified we become, the faster we can return to God. Forgiveness is the

best laundry detergent to purify ourselves of karmic debts. If we know

this, we will be less likely to create new karma through anger and

hatred. We can learn to forgive and we will find ourselves becoming

lighter and lighter and accelerate our spiritual progress.Finally,

one of the greatest benefits that forgiveness plays in spiritual

progress is that we become examples for others to emulate. Love and

forgiveness inspire others to love and make the world peaceful. When

people see that even when slapped on one cheek, we can forgive, they

are moved to follow our example. Saints who have been persecuted but

responded with love and forgiveness are remembered hundreds and

thousands of years later. Why? Because forgiveness against those who

hurt us is the greatest example of godly love in this world. By their

acts they have inspired millions of people to follow their teachings.

If we are forgiving, we are one less person adding negativity and

hatred to the world. If each of us were forgiving, it would not be long

before the world becomes more loving and peaceful.So we can benefit

spiritually through forgiveness by increasing our spiritual progress,

by removing obstacles to our meditation, by reducing our karmic load so

we can return to God, and by inspiring others to love and making the

world a more loving, peaceful place.We have many reasons from

physical to mental and emotional to spiritual for learning the art of

forgiveness. If we do so, we will find we can transform our physical,

mental, emotional, and spiritual areas of our life and will accelerate

our speed of reaching our goal of reuniting our soul with God. § Newsletter/Case-Histories

(non-posting group):/ -subscribe

Ezine:

CenteredInTheHeartSpace CenteredInTheHeartSpace-subscribe

Discussion forum:

PIVOTinJOY/

PIVOTinJOY-subscribe

* Thank you for

forwarding this to any friends or lists where there may be interest! *

This may be

forwarded in its entirety, for educational purposes only, but may not be used

for any workshops or reproduced in any other manual, book, CD, DVD or

publication or used for any commercial gain. For any other purposes,

please contact the Author, Dayawanti D'Sa, at pivot.in.joy@...