Sigh...

[Guest guest]

Well, my friends...just the other day I found myself in one of those

upsetting situations we encounter out there, but this one became a

frightening one too. I had been too shaken to share this at first here,

yet in a way, need to, because I know you all understand.

Usually my grocery store experience is a rather happy one, since I

have been shopping there for several years and know everyone who

work there. In the produce section a very tall seventy-ish man noticed

me. He said he bet I wished I could be as tall as he was. I briefly smiled,

but felt uneasy. He then wanted to know if my family

was little. I said, " No. " He said my parents sure must have wanted to

get rid of me when they realized they had a midget! THAT is when I quickly

decided I DEFINITELY did NOT need any produce items and made a very quick

exit away from him. Only it got worse. I was in the cereal aisle. In the

same aisle as the cereal, are cookies. He followed. Suddenly, he slammed a

package of cookies onto the floor, and DEMANDED I pick them up because I

was close to the floor and

" could reach those. " When I didn't, he repeated his " demand. " There was

NO WAY I was going to pick those cookies up. I ignored him and focused on

trying to some cereal instead. Yet here he came again. He then began

taunting me, insisting I get myself a box of cereal off the top shelf, betting

I couldn't do it, could I? He then told me to watch how easy it was for

HIM and what did I think about THAT? As I made yet ANOTHER sudden exit, I

expressed what I thought of him, only I can't share it here. ; )

Anyway, it so happened a store employee was also in the same aisle. I

didn't know it till a bit later, but he went up to the front office and

told management this idiot was stalking me and being extremely rude. I had

proceeded on to the dairy section, but he followed me again. He said the

sight of me turns his stomach and midgets should never be allowed to

associate with normal people and we should all be institutionalized. At THIS

point my blood is really boiling, and I knew I needed help. I hurry to the

front office to get help. Yet thanks to that employee, management was

already on it. They surrounded the man and told him they were going to call

the

police if he did not leave the store immediately. He didn't like THAT. So

the manager responded

by beginning to punch 911 into her phone. He left. I shook. After I

finally managed to get the items I went in there for in the first place, I was

escorted out, just in case he was waiting in the parking lot, but

thankfully we didn't see him.

As you can imagine, I was a bit shaken after this encounter. His

rude invasiveness was one thing, but the aggressive way he came at

me was another. It was frightening. Then I wondered if I should have

called 911 myself, early on in the encounter. Which brings me to a

question...SHOULD one call 911 when we get someone like this who

is being so rude and then following us?

I SO wanted to head butt him right in the place where it would have

hurt most. ; )

Anyway, have any of you had an experience like this? If so, how

did you handle the situation? This is how we learn from each other.

I want to thank all of you for allowing me to share this with you.

Adelaide

[Guest guest]

Adeleide,

Wow. Yes, you've already heard that word from , but I'll say it again. I'm

so sorry that happened to you. I can understand your rage and the feeling of

shaking. You're body is in fight or flight mode and it can't decide what to do

first. I was getting the shivers just reading your story.

That store employee is an angel. At least, that's what I call those people that

help a person who is definitely in distress. Too often, we try to stay out of

confrontation. This person did a very good deed. Being in one aisle by

yourself with the enraged/deranged person no matter what height can be a bit

frightening, especially with that type of confrontation.

Yes, I would definitely have called 911 or start screaming or something.

Unfortunately, getting physical may be more at a disadvantage because they can

physically pick us up, and we have more to risk physically. . . c-spines and

such. If I was in the household cleaning supplies or something like that, I

would've probably found a weapon and used it in self defense. Oooh. . . even

lemon juice in the eye or bleach on their crotch. A bbq poker/fork in their

tenders. See, I'm getting creative, angry, and trying to make you smile a

little.

You did the right thing and I'm so happy there are good people out there like

that store clerk to help.

Sending you a hug from over here.

-Ellen

[Guest guest]

In all seriousness, I would carry a pepper spray if you don't already have one:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000UVTDLG/?tag=ababa-20

And if you like it in pink:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001EWNEC4/?tag=ababa-20

I have one, and they say that you should have it checked every year or so.

Your intuition and smarts are your best weapons too.

-Ellen

[Guest guest]

Hi Adelaide,

Sorry you had to go through that. My guess is this person has a mental

illness. It certainly does not give him the right to harass you, and I

think in a similar situation I would have called 911. Kudos to the store for

doing the right thing. You might want go to the police anyway and file a

report and give a good description of the person. That way, hopefully, if

he does have a mental problem social services will get involved and he will

get the help he needs.

As far as pepper spray goes, I am little leery of using it for a few

reasons. For one, if the person who assaults you is AP, how actually is an

LP going to be able to spray it in his face? The second is that many LPs

(such as myself) have grip problems and I'm just as liable to spray myself

as I them. Thirdly, I've done some field work in psychiatric hospital units

as part of my graduate program, and I was told by a security officer there

that they don't carry pepper spray because it often does not work on the

mentally ill, and may even have a reverse effect (causing rage). Their

preferred method is to work in pairs, and they are trained in applying

restraints. And finally, if the person only verbally abuses you (but

doesn't touch you), as horrible as it may be, if you cut loose with the

spray, *you* could be the one charged with assault. Crazy but true.

I think the escort idea (when possible) is a good idea. Also keep an

assault (rape) whistle handy (put it on your key chain). It may scare your

attacker away as well as draw people to you.

Hope things are settling down.

Bill

On Sun, Apr 17, 2011 at 4:58 AM, El <hey_elel@...> wrote:

>

>

> In all seriousness, I would carry a pepper spray if you don't already have

> one:

>

> http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000UVTDLG/?tag=ababa-20

>

> And if you like it in pink:

>

> http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001EWNEC4/?tag=ababa-20

>

> I have one, and they say that you should have it checked every year or so.

>

> Your intuition and smarts are your best weapons too.

>

> -Ellen

>

>

>

> Bill Bradford

(aka BJ, )