*EmpoweringYourSoulThroughMeditation* Benefits of Forgiveness, by Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj

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Sat Sandesh

March 2005

Benefits of Forgiveness

The following is a talk given by Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj.

Sat Sandesh

March 2005

As I travel, I find that no matter what country of the world I visit, people

are plagued by

the same troubles. When we read or listen to the news, we find that people all

over the world are struggling with the pain they suffer themselves, or the pain

of their loved ones, neighbors, or even fellow citizens of the world who have

been victims of some kind of injury or loss. The amount of pain in the world

causes many people to feel anger, hatred, and revenge to the perpetrators of

crime or injustice. I am often asked how we can deal with these situations.

In this connection, I would like to relate an anecdote. Once there was a

warrior who went to a wise monk and asked him, " What is the difference

between heaven and hell? " The monk looked at this warrior who was very

large, muscular, and had a savage look about him. The monk then replied,

" You ignorant brute. You are nothing but a savage. Why would I waste time

with you teaching you about heaven and hell? " When the monk said that, the

warrior's blood began to boil and he was filled with anger and hatred.

Suddenly, he could not control his temper and he started beating up the monk.

After a few moments, the warrior realized what a heinous act he was committing

and stopped. The monk smiled and said, " That fit of anger is hell. "

The warrior was so ashamed for his violent act and begged the monk to forgive

him. The monk again smiled and said, " Your asking for forgiveness is

heaven. "

This story describes in a nutshell the answer to the question about dealing

with all the violence, injustice, and evil in the world. We can choose to

respond in kind, which creates more of a hell, or we can respond with

forgiveness, which creates heaven in our own lives on earth.

We hear accounts of people who were victims or whose loved ones were victims of

horrendous crimes. Some people may have lost their child, a spouse, a loved,

one or both parents to death at the hands of cruel and heartless people. When

interviewed, some who lost loved ones shared their startling revelations. They

learned that their own lives were transformed by the power of forgiveness. They

found that their own physical, mental, and spiritual health improved through

the power of forgiving those who had wronged or hurt them.

The news once reported a story about two parents whose daughter was the victim

of a cruel murder many years ago, and they spent every waking day seeing that

the person responsible was brought to justice. They wanted to do everything

possible to see that the murderer was punished. It so happened that the crime

was committed by a young person when he was less than eighteen years of age.

Although a juvenile, he was sentenced to life imprisonment. The parents who

lost their child said that their lives were filled with hatred, anger, and

revenge towards the teenager. These feelings occupied all their waking

thoughts. It made them physically sick. They could not even focus on

spirituality because they were so angry with God for what had happened. Then,

one day they realized that they had spent many years in this state of anger.

They took the decision that not only had their child's life been lost, but both

of their lives were also being lost to anger, hatred, and revenge. Then, they

did the unthinkable. They decided to forgive the person who had committed the

crime. They actually went to the prison where the person was incarcerated and

told him they had forgiven him. They met the parents of the boy who committed

the crime and realized how much they too were suffering by what their son had

done. Instead of being angry with the boy's parents, they felt compassion that

they too had in a way lost their son as he was sentenced to prison. Through

forgiving the boy and his family, the parents experienced such a release of

their pain that they could not believe it. Suddenly, they felt a great burden

was lifted from their hearts. The person who had committed the crime when he

was a young man was also moved by their power of forgiveness and was

transformed by their love. They realized that through forgiving the

perpetrator, they had in a way saved their own lives from further

deterioration. Their health improved, they were able to function mentally

again, and they felt the love of God flow through them.

There are many cases we hear similar to this in which people draw upon inner

strength and forgive those who hurt them or their loved ones. They recognize

that their lives have changed for the better. Now, even medical researchers

bear out the physical and mental benefits of forgiving.

Let us look at how forgiveness can benefit us physically, mentally, and

spiritually. First, let us explore the physical benefits of forgiveness. The

first thing to recognize is that we do physical harm to ourselves when we are

caught up in the opposite of forgiveness: anger, hatred, and vengeance. These

feelings cause damage to the physical body. Doctors and researchers are coming

to realize that anger and hatred have detrimental effects on our body. Let us

analyze the reason. First, there are certain responses in the physical body

designed to help protect itself in order to preserve the species. When a living

creature senses danger, there are certain hormonal and chemical reactions with

the body that help it respond to danger. These hormones cause one to fight or

take flight. They are useful for giving the body strength and quick physical

responses such as running or protecting one's self. But if one interprets as

life-threatening problems of daily life that are not life-threatening then one

is responding with the fight or flight hormones for no reason. The result is

that we do not see a need to flee or fight, but we feel threatened. This is

converted into anger or rage. Thus, we are becoming angry over situations that

do not threaten our life. This causes the body to circulate the hormones needed

to run or protect one's self over minor situations that are part of daily life.

Because these hormones, such as cortisol, are circulating through us when we do

not need them, they end up causing damage to the physical body. We know for

example that real cortisone has side effects to the body and doctors recommend

them very cautiously. But the body's natural cortisal when we are angry or

under stress ends up circulating through us causing stress-related ailments. If

one is continually in that state of fear, anger, or stress those hormones cause

a breakdown in other body tissues. This is what causes stress-related ailments

such as digestive problems, headaches, heart problems, skin problems, and

breathing problems.

There are so many challenges of daily life that people are responding to with

the same release of fight or flight hormones if threatened by true danger.

People may become upset if someone cuts in front of them on the road, or

someone in the house leaves the toothpaste cap off, or if someone at work makes

a small mistake. Our reactions are out of proportion to the mistake that others

make.

Years ago, we may not have known the physical dangers anger and stress cause

our body. But once we know it, we need to think about whether it is worth

getting angry over trivial situations if it means we increase our risk of heart

attack, breathing problems, and digestive problems. The relation between anger

and our body is becoming clearer day by day.

The solution for protecting the body against the hormones released by hatred,

anger, and vengeance is simple: forgiveness. It is only through forgiveness

that we can calm ourselves down and avoid the reactions of hatred and violence.

If there are large-hearted people who could learn to forgive those who caused

tragedy and death in their family, can't we learn to forgive others for trivial

mistakes? There are times that someone is really doing something to harm us,

such in cases of abuse. In that case, we need to run and get out of the

situation. But a majority of the time we are responding to minor problems with

the same intensity as if our lives were threatened. Think about all the things

that make us angry. How many of them threaten our lives? How many are just minor

annoyances.

So let us use forgiveness when someone hurts us. In this way, we can protect

our body from the damage of hormones released because of anger. We will see a

reduction in stress-related ailments.

There is a second reason why lack of forgiveness rebounds on us. There is a

karmic reaction we must pay when we are filled with anger and hatred. Picture a

boomerang. When we throw it out, it comes back to us. Karma works the same way.

When we emit anger and hatred to others, it boomerangs back to us. The other

person may or may not be hurt by our anger, but we definitely will be. If we

have angry thoughts, the other person may or may not know it. They may sense

it, but they may not even realize it. Thus, the thoughts are coming back to us

in the form of karmic reactions, but may not even be hurting the other person

to whom we are sending those thoughts. Similarly, we may speak angry words, but

if the other person is calm and has control, it will bounce off them. Thus, we

do not hurt them, but cause those words to boomerang to us. Similarly, we may

even strike another person, but if they are someone like a Christ or Buddha,

they will either turn the other cheek or remain unaffected. As Buddha said to

someone who came to abuse him, " The gift of anger that you bring, I do not

accept. " Who is the anger left with? It is returned to the sender.

If we know this, we may think twice before sending out the boomerang of anger.

If we know it will come back to us, we can ask ourselves, " Do I want to

receive the consequence of sending out the anger? " If we know we will be

hurt, we may think twice or thrice before sending it to others.

The way to avoid sending out anger that will come back to haunt us is to

forgive. If we stop our thoughts, words, or deeds in their tracks and instead

forgive, we will receive back love and forgiveness rather than the fruits of

our anger.

The third reason that anger is harmful to us is that the other person may react

to us. We may set up a chain of violence from which we find it hard to escape.

Our anger may be due to reacting to them, but when we react, we continue the

chain. It may result in an even worse situation than the original injury. Few

people can believe how many people come to me with family problems, whether

between parent and child, siblings, or spouses who want a divorce. When they

tell me the situations that led to them wanting a divorce or family break-up

they are usually minor, trivial, and harmless. Yet, they have escalated due to

action and reaction to such a degree that one would think there was world war

three. If we look at world history, we also find situations between people of

one country and another going to war over disagreements that may have been

worked out peacefully. But instead, anger causes action and reaction that

escalates to wars where millions of people are killed. If we realize that our

reaction may cause the situation to escalate further, we may think twice before

reacting, and instead offer forgiveness. In this way we can prevent wars

between families, communities, and countries.

If we can learn forgiveness, we will find physical benefits, such as not

suffering harm to our body through the release of hormones responding to anger and

hatred. We will avoid future karmic reactions boomeranging back to us. We will

also not set in motion chain reactions that may cause us further harm.

Forgiveness also has mental and emotional benefits. First, when we are filled

with anger and hatred, we cannot concentrate on our work. Our productivity and

efficiency may drop because we are unable to keep our mind on our work. Instead

of paying attention to our job, we are thinking about who has hurt us, how they

have hurt us, why they have hurt us, and how we can hurt them back. This cycle

of angry thoughts ruminates in our mind and we cannot focus on our work. Thus,

we may make costly mistakes. Our boss may find the mistakes and think we are

not good workers. Some people may even lose their jobs from their inefficiency.

Sometimes the mistakes can cost others their lives. We know that drivers,

pilots, train conductors, or bus drivers can be in such a rage that they cause

an accident in which others are hurt or killed. A doctor or pharmacist whose

mind is not on their work can cause harm to their patients or customers. There

are numerous cases in which parents filled with anger lash out at their

children, causing physical abuse, and even death. The newspapers are filled

with incidents of people who cause harm because they are so filled with rage

that it effects their mental or emotional abilities to function in the world.

To avoid disastrous consequences, it is much better to forgive. Instead of

letting thoughts of hatred and anger possess us and ruin our lives, we should

stop ourselves and forgive the other person. In this way, we can keep our mind

free and clear of the detrimental effects of anger.

Medical researchers are finding another benefit to forgiveness. It has a

positive effect on our brain. We have seen how anger causes stress-related

ailments. Scientists are now discovering that the release of cortisol may

damage our brain. Through brain scans and medical tests, they can see that

continued exposure to the body's own cortisol and stress hormones can cause

build- up in the brain's blood vessels and nervous system that may cause

stroke, damage to parts of the brain, and maybe even Alzheimer's. They can even

image the brain of people under stress and see that certain parts of the brain

can malfunction causing anxiety, depression, and other psychological problems.

If we know that anger can cause irreparable damage to our brain and effect our

thinking and emotional states, then we may want to consider learning the art of

forgiveness. In this way we can protect the health of our brain and maintain

healthy emotions and thinking abilities.

Just as we may suffer the karmic reactions of anger on our own body, we can

also suffer mentally or emotionally from the anger we send out. People often

think of karma as something that is played out on the physical body. What we do

not realize is that we can suffer mentally and emotionally from our past

karmas. People who would go to Sant Darshan Singh Ji with emotional or mental

distress would sometimes be told that those are reactions they are burning off

from past karmas. Thus, if we have hurt others emotionally or mentally in the

past, we may be suffering those same problems ourselves as a reaction to what

we have done. There are many people who try to relieve themselves of emotional

or mental suffering but despite many types of help or treatment cannot. In such

cases, they may be due to past karmas that must be paid. One day they will be

paid off, but until then it causes tremendous pain to the person undergoing them.

We may not be able to do anything about our past karmas until they are paid

off, but we do have twenty-five percent free will in which we can avoid

creating new karmas that will come back to trouble us. Next time we are about

to let loose the snakes of anger on others to torment them emotionally or

mentally, we should realize that it will also boomerang on us. If we torment

others mentally or emotionally, one day we may also suffer the same fate. So

let us stop ourselves before we lay down new tracks of anger so we do not hurt

others and we will not be hurt mentally or emotionally.

Finally, if we hurt others mentally or physically, they may react to us and we

establish a negative atmosphere. We become contributors to the negativity in

the universe. It makes others want to react back to us negatively. Before we

know it, we have a toxic, poisonous environment in our homes, our offices, in

our communities, and in the world. Do we wish to aid to the poisonous

atmosphere or do we wish to bring about one of love? We can put a stop to the

pollutants of hatred and anger by the balm of forgiveness. If we do not react

to other people's negativity, and instead forgive them, they have no one to

react against. It puts a stop to the chain reaction. If we remain loving to

others, how long will they be negative to us? They will ultimately give up.

Either they will become loving back to us, or else they will move on to bother

someone else who is more responsive to their negativity. Thus, we have stopped

our own involvement with their negativity. In time they may be so moved by our

love and forgiveness that they may change their ways.

There is the story of Sant Kirpal Singh Ji Maharaj and a dacoit or thief in his

regiment. This thief would steal food from the soldiers. Because dacoits were

considered dangerous, no one would question him. Although everyone in the

regiment feared the dacoit, each day, like clockwork he would enter Sant Kirpal

Singh Ji's apartment and clean it.

One day, when Sant Kirpal Singh Ji returned home earlier than normal, he found

the dacoit cleaning his place. Sant Kirpal Singh Ji asked him why he was

cleaning his apartment each day. The dacoit said, " When I look at you I

start trembling; my past sins come to life. "

Even though everyone in the regiment feared this man, the dacoit was afraid of

Sant Kirpal Singh Ji. The dacoit told Sant Kirpal Singh Ji that he had

committed so many crimes in his life that he could not even count them. He said

he had killed over three hundred people. Then, he asked Sant Kirpal Singh Ji,

" Is there any hope for forgiveness for one like me? " Sant Kirpal

Singh Ji told him that there was hope, " There is hope for every person.

There is hope for the worst sinner. Repent. Pray. Do no more. " The dacoit

was so moved by this guidance that he decided to follow this way of living. He

gave up his old ways and turned to a life of goodness.

Through the power of forgiveness, we can experience mental and emotional

benefits. We will not suffer damage to our brain functioning. We will not be

setting up future karmic reactions. We will not set up a cycle in which others

can hurt us back emotionally or mentally.

The last benefit of forgiveness relates to our spiritual health. Medical

research can only chart the benefits to our body, mind, and emotions. But

saints and Masters, doctors of the spirit, describe from a spiritual vantage

point how forgiveness can provide spiritual benefits. As Sant Darshan Singh Ji

Maharaj said in a verse:

When the world listens to your message of love and compassion,

The flames of war will be transformed into flowers of peace,

And this life of ours will become a blossoming orchard.

First, they tell us about the harmful effects of anger on our spiritual

development. If our goal is to meet God in this very lifetime then the password

to God's abode is love. God is love and only love can reside in God's domain.

Thus, for us to be fit to reenter our eternal Home, we must become all love.

Anger and hatred are foreigners in the land of God.

Each time we participate in thoughts, words, and deeds of anger and hatred we

are strangers to God's land. Darkness can no longer exist where there is light.

Hatred can no longer exist where there is love. As long as we turn from love

and become agents of hatred and anger, we are unfit to enter God's residence.

How can we make sure we are fit to return to God? Our introspection diary is a

mirror for us to see whether we are made of love or of hatred and anger. Each

night we can reflect on the events of the day and see if we acted in love or in

hatred. If we are agents of hatred and violence, we know that we have to do

better the following day. It gives us a chance to reform ourselves so that the

next time we are in the same situation we can have a chance to act in love. In

this way, step by step, day by day, we can become more loving. If we find we

continue to act in anger and hatred, we can apply the balm of forgiveness to

change our way of thinking, speaking, and acting. Forgiveness is the remedy for

anger and will help us re-enter the domain of the Lord.

Another benefit of forgiveness is improving our meditation. Anger and hatred

are obstacles to our meditation. We know how difficult it is to still the mind.

The more activity in our mind, the longer it takes some people to become

concentrated in their meditations. Why do we want to add more fuel to a fire

that is already out of control? Anger and hatred add more fuel to our mind. If

we go through our day getting angry about everything that happens, those

thoughts will rankle in our mind when we try to sit for meditation. If we know

that these angry thoughts cause impediments to our meditation time, then why

engage in them? It would be far better to forgive those around us who are

making mistakes so we can maintain a calm mind during the day than to ruin our

meditations. Those who meditate with a calm mind have quicker withdrawal to the

eye focus. But if when we sit for meditation we spend the first half hour going

over how angry we are at this person and that person, half of our meditation

hour is wasted. Thus, we will have to sit longer and longer to begin to get

spiritual sights or sounds within. So, let us practice forgiveness as an

antidote to problems of stilling our mind in our meditation. We will start to

see faster results in our spiritual progress.

Another spiritual benefit to forgiveness involves decreasing our karmic load.

Spiritual progress is a balancing act between our meditations and lightening

our karmic load. Each day that we control our negative qualities is a day that

we are lessening our karmic load. We are paying off our karmas from the past

and we are avoiding creating new ones. Anger and hatred increase our karmic

load. It is like trying to wash clothes in the washing machine while we keep

pouring in more dirt and grime. The less karma we have, the less blemishes on

our soul. The more purified we become, the faster we can return to God.

Forgiveness is the best laundry detergent to purify ourselves of karmic debts.

If we know this, we will be less likely to create new karma through anger and

hatred. We can learn to forgive and we will find ourselves becoming lighter and

lighter and accelerate our spiritual progress.

Finally, one of the greatest benefits that forgiveness plays in spiritual

progress is that we become examples for others to emulate. Love and forgiveness

inspire others to love and make the world peaceful. When people see that even

when slapped on one cheek, we can forgive, they are moved to follow our

example. Saints who have been persecuted but responded with love and

forgiveness are remembered hundreds and thousands of years later. Why? Because

forgiveness against those who hurt us is the greatest example of godly love in

this world. By their acts they have inspired millions of people to follow their

teachings. If we are forgiving, we are one less person adding negativity and

hatred to the world. If each of us were forgiving, it would not be long before

the world becomes more loving and peaceful.

So we can benefit spiritually through forgiveness by increasing our spiritual

progress, by removing obstacles to our meditation, by reducing our karmic load

so we can return to God, and by inspiring others to love and making the world a

more loving, peaceful place.

We have many reasons from physical to mental and emotional to spiritual for

learning the art of forgiveness. If we do so, we will find we can transform our

physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual areas of our life and will

accelerate our speed of reaching our goal of reuniting our soul with God. §

Sat Sandesh, 19384 Smoots Rd., Bowling Green, VA

22427

SOS website: www.sos.org

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