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[Guest guest]

Hi all,

Today my surgery date was confirmed (8/8/06) and the jitters have

kicked in. I'm excited and scared at the same time. Can't really

think of much to write about at the moment, i guess because the mind

is going a hundred miles a minute. How did you guys deal with the pre-

surgey jitters?

Tony

[Guest guest]

Tony, I remember this well...I am 10 days post op today and feeling great. I had done so much research that by the time I got to the hospital I knew everything and anything that a person could want to know about the band, Dr. A, the process ect. I don't know if you have a similar personality type, some say I am anal, but it really helped me to know all there was to know. I began with the pre-op diet the week before surgery, at that time I weighed 247lbs. I weighed 236 the day of surgery. I waited until 7 days post-op to step on the scale, to my surprise...I was down to 222lbs. It is like a dream come true. Trust me, you have made the right choice! You are in the best hands with Dr. A and his folks there, don't worry at all. It was actually a really nice vacation for me! Good Luck! Kim Tony <tao_phantom@...> wrote: Hi all,Today my surgery date was confirmed (8/8/06) and the jitters have kicked in. I'm excited and scared at the same time. Can't really think of much to write about at the moment, i guess because the mind is going a hundred miles a minute. How did you guys deal with the pre-surgey jitters?Tony

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[Guest guest]

Dear Tony,

I think I convinced myself that the nervous energy that I experienced

preoperatively was a very nice low impact aerobic exercise....:)Gosh,

I must have been burning up a few extra calories a day just from the

racing thoughts alone! Myabe I was lucky, I never felt scared or

frightened, but I sure did have one heck of a constant adrenalin rush

about all of the possibilities that were awaiting me.

I found that it helped to continue to research, research, research,

and read the messages on the board here that were such constant

positive reinforcement confirming the validity of my decision to

proceed with the banding.

I also wrote in my journal, constantly. (Forgive me, but as a

psychiatric nurse, I have been programmed to work through issues ,

goals, thoughts and concerns by writing writing writing and then

writing some more. Some of my journal entries were simple lists of

the things that I wanted to be able to do once I had achieved a

more " normal " weight- skate again, ride a bike, SWIM, shop in a

clothing store without trying to inconspicuously determine if they had

sizes above XL. That's really funny to me after I've typed that out

here- can't you just picture a 5'3 " 276 pound woman trying to casually

check labels without being seen? I can even hear the Bond

soundtrack music in my head.....dum da dum.......dum de

dum.....furtively sneaking beind the racks to see if Kohls Department

store had suddenly started stocking clothing larger than a 3x.)

I also wrote about issues that had been painful for me in the past

that I couldnt find a way to joke my way through, that I was hopeful

to have experienced for the last time. And I wrote (ok, this sounds

like REAL psycho-babble here, but I am at work:) ) letters to myself

at the various ages and weights that I have been, trying to come to

grips with what my own eating patterns had done to lead me down this

path, and hoping to accept and forgive the 16 year old me that stopped

skating 6 hours a day when she discovered boys, the 17 year old me

that would eat, and then lie about it,the 24 year old me that would

diet diet diet and then eat a pizza and cry late at night because my

THEN husband would tell me what a disgusting c*nt I had become.....

I firmly believe that as much as this tool that Dr. A has provided me

with will allow me to change those self destructive habits, I have to

forgive myself for all of the choices that I have made in the past. So

I did that in writing. I may show it to my family some day, and I may

not, but I made myself think it, write it, and re-read it, and then I

said goodbye to that person. I'll keep the good parts of her, of me-

the strength and the sense of humor, and the compassion for others-

but the food obsessed wrangling with guilt and shame part of me is

going to have to leave- there will not be room for her in my new life.

Good GRIEF but I get rambling sometimes.......

SO think positive thoughts, keep patting yourself on the back for

making this decision, and be sure to keep writing about what those

racing thoughts and concerns are- either to yourself, or here, or

whatver you are most comfortable with. I even started a special

scrapbook- you know, like the " baby's first year " photo album, only it

will be my new ME's first year- the milestones each month, the new

skills and experiences that I have,foods tolerated, and so forth.

Hmmm...maybe instead of the first time I roll over, I can have a page

for the first time there is one less roll in my stomach?

Best wishes, and hang in there! You will be so proud of yourself!

P.

>

> Hi all,

>

> Today my surgery date was confirmed (8/8/06) and the jitters have

> kicked in. I'm excited and scared at the same time. Can't really

> think of much to write about at the moment, i guess because the mind

> is going a hundred miles a minute. How did you guys deal with the

pre-

> surgey jitters?

>

> Tony

>