Re: Unfair to , IMHO

[Guest guest]

Dawnita...Hmm, not sure I can agree with you on all your points. I don't see the value in chastising people for their opinions. People offer the best advice they can and not everyone will agree. That's okay, there is nothing wrong with that. There are lots of personalities posting and that is going to happen on EVERY board.

I see a great deal of value in a sleeve. I fully understand it isn't for you but that's the beauty of having choices in weight loss surgery. There are many bypass or sleeve folks that can't wrap their brain around being banded. They see absolutely no reason for it. It's just not for them.

I don't think there are enough sleeve folks for their own board at this point. My opinion only. I don't really care what procedure someone has, makes no difference to me, I will offer support and information regardless of surgery type. If folks with sleeves or thinking about sleeves post here, I see no problem with that. During the research phase I would love to see everyone ask a ton of questions, understand all their options, know all the procedures available to them and choose what is right for them.

I have realized recently since reaching goal as well as watching others that we tend to be newbies twice. Once before/after surgery and once upon hitting goal or losing a significant amount of weight. We are so thrilled with our choices and/or our weight loss, we want the whole world to experience the same. Sometimes it was really easy for me to forget that my way wasn't necessarily the right way for another. When you experience significant weight loss we want every obese person out there feeling the same thrill we do. We know our way worked for us thus, we want it to work for everyone.

Sometimes people feel a bit of personal threat when someone posts about their own surgery. We have a small fear that our surgery type may fail somehow, a slip, erosion, problem with restriction, etc., and when someone posts about positive experiences with a different procedure sometimes we get a bit of fear for something happening to our band, our procedure. It's a bit like, " Nonono! MY procedure has to be the best because that is the one I am depending on! " A little fear, per se.

I think all of that is perfectly normal. I'm not claiming we all go through the same things, I'm referring to those that actually experience those emotions. I don't think it is unusual in the least. We have all invested a great deal of time, money, and emotions in our particular procedure, we found what is right for us.

I like that bypass and sleeve folks are posting here. It gives newbies the opportunity to ask Dr. A patients about their experience with their surgery, their experience with Dr. A & staff, their weight loss journey. I think that holds a great deal of value. It gives people an opportunity to seriously research what the heck they are doing. There aren't as many sleeve folks here as there are banded, there aren't as many bypass folks as there are banded. To send them off to their own board would mean they have a small group as most WLS folks do not post at all. So they wouldn't get a huge variety of opinions and experiences if Nina segregated the boards. I think we are all in this together and I don't think we should promote or push one procedure over another as due to lifestyle differences and varying eating habits, one procedure may not be as effective as another for any given individual.

I'm all for providing ALL information about ALL procedures and letting someone decide what is right for them.Support... I know I do that. I'm not one to pat the head of another. If someone isn't doing something that is working for them I see no value in patting their heads and pretending otherwise. I know I have needed a dose of reality during my own journey and I got it. It's what made a difference for me. When someone told me to stop and think about what I was doing, stop making excuses about weight loss, etc., it made me think. I didn't need someone supporting my bad choices, I needed someone giving me a dose of reality and point blank confront my faulty thinking. Each person is different in what they see as support. Personally, I see little value in " nice nice " talk when someone is looking for confirmation their " not so great " behaviors are doing things the right way. They aren't going to get very far if they are making bad choices and someone is going along with it. I'll give the same reality I got during my own weight loss. It's one of the things that kept me going.

Now, anyone posting here for any amount of time knows that tact and diplomacy on line aren't my thing, not my forte. I try but quite frankly, I do much better speaking. So I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to express my thoughts the best way I know.

252/150/140Surgery/goal/currentBanded 12/06, goal in 10 monthsOn Jan 13, 2008 9:29 PM, dawnita3@... <

dawnita3@...> wrote:

I can't afford to go back to Mexico for fills either....and would not have had the success I have without them, now would I???

Much as I respect most of the people on this board, I think it was unfair to practically attack when she came to the board asking for help. I referred her to OTHER support boards where she might get the help she came here, yep, desperately searching for, and got shafted by a couple of you for her trouble.

There is NO " know all, end all " answer to most questions regarding the band...because it is so different for everyone. Circumstances change too. There are members here who have never posted a single photo of themselves either...that doesn't change the fact that they may or may not have had success with their bands.

I don't wish to cause offense here, either, but I also think that it is time for the " sleevey's " to have their own support board. Having both surgeries on the same support list is confusing for a lot of new people. I STILL would have chosen banding over the sleeve and I don't really understand why people would choose the sleeve over banding for any reason...but we made our choices, and yep, now we gotta live with them. I rarely post here anymore either...I am too busy living my life to the fullest...but I think a for a few, this board has BECOME their life..and they want to use it to control the lives of others as well..and I am pretty sure that was not it's intention.

BIG HUGS, AND GOD'S BLESSINGSDawnita MayLowpass, Oregon10/05/05 dob 240/130/120 5ft 3inches See Mylatest photos at: http://dawnita1961.myphotoalbum.com/

[Guest guest]

Dawnita~

I followed those posts, and it didn't seem to me that

anyone attacked for asking for support. It

seemed to me that asked for support and then got

snippy with the people who offered it! I can't afford

to got back to Mexico for fills either right now, but

I still understand that that is the ideal situation.

I would never ask for help and then only show

appreciation if the support I received was not what I

wanted to hear. It seemed disrespectful to me. That

is just My Honest Opinion, and probably no one really

cares, but I guess I wanted to say that I saw things

differently.

ps~ I went to your website. You are so LITTLE! I

love the pics of your family and the animals in the

snow. Did you guys get that thunderstorm last week?

--- " dawnita3@... " <dawnita3@...> wrote:

> I can't afford to go back to Mexico for fills

> either....and would not have had the success I have

> without them, now would I???

> Much as I respect most of the people on this board,

> I think it was unfair to practically attack

> when she came to the board asking for help. I

> referred her to OTHER support boards where she might

> get the help she came here, yep, desperately

> searching for, and got shafted by a couple of you

> for her trouble.

> There is NO " know all, end all " answer to most

> questions regarding the band...because it is so

> different for everyone. Circumstances change too.

> There are members here who have never posted a

> single photo of themselves either...that doesn't

> change the fact that they may or may not have had

> success with their bands.

> I don't wish to cause offense here, either, but I

> also think that it is time for the " sleevey's " to

> have their own support board. Having both surgeries

> on the same support list is confusing for a lot of

> new people. I STILL would have chosen banding over

> the sleeve and I don't really understand why people

> would choose the sleeve over banding for any

> reason...but we made our choices, and yep, now we

> gotta live with them. I rarely post here anymore

> either...I am too busy living my life to the

> fullest...but I think a for a few, this board has

> BECOME their life..and they want to use it to

> control the lives of others as well..and I am pretty

> sure that was not it's intention.

>

> BIG HUGS, AND GOD'S BLESSINGS

> Dawnita May

> Lowpass, Oregon

> 10/05/05 dob 240/130/120 5ft 3inches See My

> latest photos at:

> http://dawnita1961.myphotoalbum.com/

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Never miss a thing. Make your home page.

http://www./r/hs

[Guest guest]

I wasn't going to reply on this board anymore and probably won't often because I like you am living my life to the fullest at 36 years young. I just wanted to applaud you for two things...1. Taking several thoughts, feelings, and words out of my mouth and 2. Supporting me and what I was simply trying to relay to the others that seem to be obsessed on thisite amongst other things. So, many blessings to you sweetheart and I very much appreciated your message! Oh yea...my pics ARE on Dr. A's site...LOL..feel free to email me at anytime..................... From: dawnita3@... <dawnita3@...>Sent: Sunday, January 13, 2008 11:29 PM Subject: Unfair to , IMHOI can't afford to go back to Mexico for fills either....and would not have had the success I have without them, now would I???Much as I respect most of the people on this board, I think it was unfair to practically attack when she came to the board asking for help. I referred her to OTHER support boards where she might get the help she came here, yep, desperately searching for, and got shafted by a couple of you for her trouble.There is NO "know all, end all" answer to most questions regarding the band..because it is so different for everyone. Circumstances change too. There are members here who have never posted a single photo of themselves either...that doesn't change the fact that they may or may not have had success with their bands.I don't wish to cause offense here, either, but I also think that it is time for the "sleevey's" to have their own support board. Having both surgeries on the same support list is confusing for a lot of new people. I STILL would have chosen banding over the sleeve and I don't really understand why people would choose the sleeve over banding for any reason...but we made our choices, and yep, now we gotta live with them. I rarely post here anymore either...I am too busy living my life to the fullest...but I think a for a few, this board has BECOME their life..and they want to use it to control the lives of others as well..and I am pretty sure that was not it's intention.BIG HUGS, AND GOD'S BLESSINGSDawnita MayLowpass, Oregon10/05/05 dob 240/130/120 5ft 3inches[The entire original message is not included]

[Guest guest]

:

I know how you feel and please do not take offense to what anyone

sais on this board. This board is meant to support each other and

give information and advice..and mostly SUPPORT to each other. Those

that get angry should be ashamed as we all are here to help each

other. Emails are very hard to read..yo cannot hear the persons voice

so you have to " imagine " the tone they are using when reading

it..very dangerous. Cerena does a fabulous job of email writing..very

caring and she genuinely is a very kind and supportive person. We all

should use he example (I am sure there are others,but she has had the

most impact on me).

My advice would be to ignore those that are not supportive and kling

to those that are supportive..because there are plenty of those kind

of people on this sight. I often do not get responses to my questions

or emails...but when I first got he band, I had incredible support

from Biplay, Marilyn, Deborah and Cerena to name a few..all were so

awesome and will give you the BEST info and support. So please..dont

leave this great sight...we all need each other.

207/174/145

>

> I wasn't going to reply on this board anymore and probably won't

often because I like you am living my life to the fullest at 36 years

young. I just wanted to applaud you for two things...1. Taking

several thoughts, feelings, and words out of my mouth and 2.

Supporting me and what I was simply trying to relay to the others

that seem to be obsessed on thisite amongst other things. So, many

blessings to you sweetheart and I very much appreciated your message!

Oh yea...my pics ARE on Dr. A's site...LOL..feel free to email me at

anytime......................

>

> Unfair to , IMHO

>

> I can't afford to go back to Mexico for fills either....and would

not have had the success I have without them, now would I???

> Much as I respect most of the people on this board, I think it was

unfair to practically attack when she came to the board asking

for help.  I referred her to OTHER support boards where she might get

the help she came here, yep, desperately searching for, and got

shafted by a couple of you for her trouble.

> There is NO " know all, end all " answer to most questions regarding

the band..because it is so different for everyone.  Circumstances

change too.  There are members here who have never posted a single

photo of themselves either...that doesn't change the fact that they

may or may not have had success with their bands.

> I don't wish to cause offense here, either, but I also think that

it is time for the " sleevey's " to have their own support board. 

Having both surgeries on the same support list is confusing for a lot

of new people.  I STILL would have chosen banding over the sleeve and

I don't really understand why people would choose the sleeve over

banding for any reason...but we made our choices, and yep, now we

gotta live with them.  I rarely post here anymore either...I am too

busy living my life to the fullest...but I think a for a few, this

board has BECOME their life..and they want to use it to control the

lives of others as well..and I am pretty sure that was not it's

intention.

>

> BIG HUGS, AND GOD'S BLESSINGS

> Dawnita May

> Lowpass, Oregon

> 10/05/05 dob 240/130/120 5ft 3inches

>

> [The entire original message is not included]

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your very strong kind words . I fully understand what you are trying to relay and I most appreciate it. Bandsters need people like you throughout any phase of their journey. From deep in my heart, ThankYou!From: mrsdash1966 <krrecruiting@...>Sent: Monday, January 14, 2008 8:42 PM Subject: Re: Unfair to , IMHO : I know how you feel and please do not take offense to what anyone sais on this board. This board is meant to support each other and give information and advice..and mostly SUPPORT to each other. Those that get angry should be ashamed as we all are here to help each other. Emails are very hard to read..yo cannot hear the persons voice so you have to "imagine" the tone they are using when reading it..very dangerous. Cerena does a fabulous job of email writing..very caring and she genuinely is a very kind and supportive person. We all should use he example (I am sure there are others,but she has had the most impact on me). My advice would be to ignore those that are not supportive and kling to those that are supportive..because there are plenty of those kind of people on this sight I often do not get responses to my questions or emails...but when I first got he band, I had incredible support from Biplay, Marilyn, Deborah and Cerena to name a few..all were so awesome and will give you the BEST info and support. So please..dont leave this great sight...we all need each other. 207/174/145 > > I wasn't going to reply on this board anymore and probably won't often because I like[The entire original message is not included]