after a year struggles

[Guest guest]

Hi all, I have written in quite some time. It has been about 15

months for me now. the first year just flew by and the weight just

flew right off. But now it is a constant struggle to get one single

pound to shed. arghhhhhhhh It has been really frustrating. I have

actually been struggling with gaining a few pounds. I have been down

to 217 as my lowest and then I will jump up to 225. right now I am

sitting at 220. This is hard because I still have about 60 more

pounds to go before I reach my goal. so I cant stop now, I am to

close! And one of my frustrations has been the amount of working out

that I have been doing. we joined the YMCA about 6 weeks ago and I

go about 4-6 days a week. I started out doing about 45 minutes of

cardio and then about 1/2 hour of weights. But I wasnt loosing so I

stopped the weights for a few weeks because I thought maybe I was

bulking up to much or something. so now I am doing an hour of cardio

and throwing some weights in here and there for good measure. But I

can sit here and act all stumped by why I Have lost weight but when

It comes right down to it and I stare the issue right in the face it

boils down to food and calories again! I know in my heart of hearts

that through the holidays and all the craziness I just was consuming

way to many calories and for some of us we have to starve to loose

weight, bottom line! so I guess that is why they say to get as much

weight off in the first 12 months as you can because it gets harder

from that point on. I think a lot of things happen. One your mind

and reasons for eating really start to come back in full force.

during the beginning when you are first banded you are so focused

because you want to succeed and you are determined. they call this

the " honeymoon " phase. But after that first year you start to slip

back into some of your old habits. and you slack off in your food

area. oh a little of this or that wont hurt to bad. well calories

add up so darn fast! and 800 calories really isnt anything! so it

is way easy to eat very little and still go way over that mark. and

I Think for some of us we have a love affair with food. and that

starts to come back too! You can also find way to sort of trick your

band a little bit so that you an eat more when you want too. So, all

of this comes down to our ability to exercise some self control with

our food issues! and that is where I am at right now, coming back

into some control and taming that food beast. I think that this will

be a life long struggle for all of us! But we can do this! I am

happy that it is at the beginning of a new year, because it gives me

a jumping off point. or a starting point to re focus on my food

issues and get those last 60 lbs off. This journey has changed my

life in so many ways, and I am going to continue to allow it to

change me! so here I go. I am going to keep working my ass off at

the gym and by the way the ass is looking pretty freakin fabulous I

might say!! lol lol But it is the gut that is still hanging around!

I told my husband if I could just have that sucked out I would have

the perfect body!! lol lol it is the last to go and it is hanging on

with a vengeance!! lol :-) so lets do this people! and for all of

you that are past the year mark and you know what I am talking about,

then lets be a support to each other and keep this thing going. I

think it is much harder for the people who start at larger numbers

and I Know has always been a huge inspiration to me because she

started in the larger numbers too. Like I see those commercials all

the time where it says that the people lost about 120-130 lbs total

and I think " wow that is where I am at now, but I am not done yet " .

my total weight loss that I needed was almost 200 lbs, so that is a

much larger hurdle to climb over. But it can and will be done and

the victory will just be all that much sweeter!!! :-)

sorry so long, but I havnt written in awhile and I have really been

struggling, so I hope that maybe what I am going through will hit

home with someone else and we can help each other to get where we

want to be. But it isnt just about the destination, it is about the

journey! :-)

take care,

big hugs,

dob 10/6/06

(342) 322/220/160