Re: Terrie

[Guest guest]

I am afraid I am not going to be able to make it again this year. I am

sorry it is something I have been trying to do for two years. Hope you

all have a great time, and let the rest of us who couldn't make it , know

what went on, and any new ideas you came across. Kathy

[Guest guest]

Hi Terrie,

What a loving message from you toward us. I only wish those in Washington DC and in the plastic surgeon's offices would feel our pain as much as you have, and shed some tears over the plight of all women harmed by these stupid medical devices, if they can even be called that. I know you don't hold any grudges toward anyone else in the breast implant industry, but I believe your letter shows that at least you care about letting them know what can happen with breast augmentation, because it isn't always pretty.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Can I post your letter on our testimony page?

Your experience mirrors that of hundreds if not thousands of other women, regarding the whole sales pitch with implants. I was told that they would go with me to my grave. I was not told about all the horrible symptoms of autoimmune illness. I was not told that there were memory problems, neurological problems, or any of the other illnesses. I was told about the complications, such as hematoma and rupture, and the whole connective tissue disease association was brushed aside as frivolous.

In your letter, you discussed alot of the trouble you had with CC and leakage, and I am so sorry you had to go through all that. I am sorry to hear that you recently replaced your implants too. The one thing I am concerned about, though, is the neurological signs you mentioned....the dropping of things out of your hands, the clumsiness, the forgetfullness, the saying of wrong words and slurring of words....these are all signs that something more insidious is going on inside your body that may lead to more complicated illness. Have you thought about removing the implants completely and letting all of this go?

I know how hard it is to think about going back to the way things were, especially if you had uneven breasts, but I think your health is more important than anything. It seems you've realized this too.

Please let us know how we can help more, and I hope you will feel comfort knowing we are here, and have already been down this dark path.

Patty

----- Original Message -----

From: easygoingchickie

Sent: Monday, September 01, 2003 9:01 PM

Subject: (unknown)

Terrie's storyI have read 90% percent of the messages from day 1 till today on this website this past week and have went thur some of your pain while going thru mine. I WANT YOU TO ALL KNOW THERE WERE TEARS THAT WERE FLOWING FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT TILL NOW. I HAVE NEVER FELT CLOSER TO PEOPLE THAT I HAVEN'T EVEN MET JUST BECAUSE I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME KIND OF PAIN YOU HAVE AND I NO LONGER FEEL ALONE. THAT IS POWERFUL!This is my journey thru BA and lengthy as it is(AND IT IS VERY LONG, BUT TRUST ME IT IS A LEARING EXPERIENCE FOR ALL), if somebody would have told me what I know now, I would not have this story to tell. In Feb of 99, I decided to go thru with BA. The consultation was all about making my breasts even and a cup size bigger. One of my breast was way smaller than the other and that was the reason I decided to go thru with it. I would finally have even breasts. He showed me three different implants. Never did he go over the specific type of implant or complications with each of the implants, only that the one he showed me would be a better fit than the others. Since I am very petite, he was going to place the implant under the muscle. I never thought to ask him about anything because I figured he would have told me(Big Mistake) and I have never heard anything bad on implants. I live in Dallas and trust me, with all the fake breasts here I would have heard something!HA I go in for the BA and that is when (15 to 20 minutes) before surgery his assistant gives me the paperwork and tells me to fill it out in the waiting room. At this point, I am excited and can't wait to finally look normal on top, so I can hardly stay focused and read the bold things but not Everything. I mean if Saline implants were bad he would have went over this with ME in person and informed me.(HOW NAIVE WAS I) I also had no idea that in 1999 the FDA had not approved saline implants. No one went over any of the complications, implant info, or that they don't last a lifetime.After surgery and alot of pain for weeks and bruising, my breasts (or I thought) were normal. They were high and full and EVEN! I thought that is want they were supposed to look like. He never went over complications like CC, inflactions and etc, so I thought everything was fine.(Wrong)After 3 1/2 years after my BA, last July (03) I woke up one morning and my right breast had completely deflated. I could not believe what had happened. Since he never told me this could happen, I am thinking I am some freak of nature. I called his office and made an appt. I go to PS office for him to examine deflation and he tells me I have CC on my left breast and if my right looked like my left that is what caused the deflation. I had never heard of CC before this and he explains and blames it on my scar tissure. My breast have looked like that for sometime, so I have had CC all that time and didn't even know it. He told me that I would pay Aeth. costs and my warranty would pay the rest. I didn't even know I had a warrranty because I had received no paperwork when I first got my BA. No inform consent form, no id card nothing. I was in so much pain when I left after BA that I just did not think of it. He said that fixing the CC on my left at the same time of replacing my impant on my right would be to much trauma and said that if the CC got worse on left he would take out later.(Big Mistake) After replacing my right implant, he gives me for the very first time paperwork ON THIS surgery. I get warranty papers and my copy of the disclosure form and id card for the right one he replaced. After swelling goes down on my right breast, the left breast is higher and not as big as my right breast. I go back for him to look at and he says the cc got worse on left and he would take out cc and not replace my left. He agains tells me it is my scar tissure. He said he would do this out of his pocket and pay the aest cost. I really thought he did this because he felt bad that I had such unlucky scar tissue. (I know very naive of me). I have the CC removed and after a month goes by, my left still looks smaller. Not as high as before but smaller. I go back 6 weeks after CC was taken out and say it looks like we might have to ad more saline in the left to match the right. He said OK if that is what you want to do. ( Of course, I would have to pay)He then mentions to me about participating in this study with Mentor. He said that in my case I would qualify and silicone implants would be my answer to all these problems. His assistant talks to me for 30 minutes about how great silicone is and that she and her daughters and everybody she knows has them and had no problems. They have improved with lots of research and silicone is much better now This is the only time since I got BI that they informed me on implants. (Too bad she forgot to tell me about the ones I HAD IN ME. I told her I was not and will NEVER be interested in silicone. My PS said give it alittle time for your breasts to heal before we add more saline in left because they are going to drop. I was moving up with my company and working long hours and when I wasn't working, I was out going out and doing something all the time, so I just let time go by thinking that I might not have to go thru another procedure and nature will take its course. (WRONG!)August of this year(03), I had noticed my left(go figure) had gotten quite abit smaller over the last two days. I called the office and told them and she told me his assistant would call me. Never heard from her that week. Called again, never heard from her, and then finally after two more days went by, I called again and said if she doesn't call me today, I will obtain an attorney to get this fixed. Of course, she called me that day. I told her that my left was deflating and she said email her a picture until the docter sees you next week. I go to take the picture(for my deflated left breast) and my best friend goes I swear your right breast just got bigger. She said that in 5 mintues from taking the first picture, it looked like it was swelling and my veins were all showing which was not normal for me. It happened just like that. I call my PS and tell her and she said the docter would look at it and call me back. At this point, I am going OUT OF MY MIND. When my PS assistant calls she got my pictures and said the PS said that the left breast was deflating and I told he about the right and she said he would have to look at when I got there next week to replace my left. She tells me that they are going to request 2 different type of implants and when I go in next week, he will see which type of implant to use. I decided to look at other plastic surgeons web sites and see what they use and see what articles could give me the best information about implants. I find out at this time that I have Textured implants by matching my ID on my card to this info on one ps website and article he wrote about implants and styles. I looked at other PS websites and in almost everyone it said that textured implants were hardly used by them because of the very high deflation and CC rate. The smooth saline implant is a much more effective implant. The textured implant had multiple reops because of the scar tissure attaching on the implant. I could not believe this. He NEVER mentioned that I had textured let alone the history on the implant and knowing that the textured implant would bring cc and deflation again to my breast, he REPLACED my first deflation WITH THE SAME TYPE OF IMPLANT. I go in for my THIRD REOP AND REPLACEMENT in ONE YEAR and I have my info from other PS in my folder and best friend with me. He tells me, AFTER I ALREADY KNEW THIS by getting the information MYSELF from these other PS websites, that he wants to replace my implants with smooth implants. He looks at my left, deflating, looks at my right breast( the one that has already been replaced last year) and says, there is something wrong but I can't tell my just looking at it(Later I find out that there was infections, etc.). I asked him why he didn't go over with me in 1999 when I had my BA the different kind of implants and the complications vs. what he thought was best for me. I told him that I just found out that the texture has a very high deflation and cc rate than smooth and that most docters use the smooth for less complications. He said that the the rate is not that much higher than smooth(which is bullpucky) but I said I don't care if it was only 1 to 5% higher(which it is much higher than that, I still would NOT HAVE GOTTEN TEXTURED IMPLANTS. What woman would pick a higher risk implant?HELLO? He says that smooth implants can have the same problems that I am having. Which is very ironic that is the first time he came out and said something like that, only because it was happening, and now I know implants don't last a lifetime. I said I am aware of that NOW after reading on my own, but the rate is much lower than the textured. I asked him why I never got my paperwork educating me on BA and my implants and the complications of that style, and why I never got a ID card from my original BA. If I would have known when my right breast deflated last year that I had textured, I would have replaced my left breast at the same time because as we know, the CC is what causes the deflation becaue MY SCAR TISSUE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T WORKING WITH TEXTURED IMPLANTS.. Why would I wait for that to happen and not have done it right then. He said what difference does it make because if I would have replaced the left, you still are having problems with the right. THE DIFFERENCE WOULD BE IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST WITH ME WHEN I WAS HERE LAST YEAR WITH MY DEFLATED RIGHT IMPLANT AND TOLD ME THAT YOU THINK WE SHOULD REPLACE WITH SMOOTH BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT I WOULD BE HERE AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH THESE TEXTURED IMPLANTS, I WOULD PROBABLY NOT BE SITTING HERE GOING THRU MY THIRD OPERATION IN ONE YEAR. Then it comes out, GET THIS ONE, HE DOESN'T EVEN USE MY PARTICULAR IMPLANT ANYMORE. Guess, he could not take all the reops he was doing. He had the NERVE TO SAY TO ME that hopefully, all this trouble is because I am unlucky, and that hopfully the smooth implants will work. Now, along with my scar tissure being the culprit, I am a freak of nautre. That next day, I went in to have them replaced and I just wanting this over with. That was two weeks ago(Aug 03) and I am still sore and can't tell if they will work.Last week while I was recovering, something in me was still telling me something was not right with all of this. I go to the computer and pull up saline implants(something I should have done way long ago) instead of the plastic surgeons site I had looked at before( which I only had time read about what type of implants they use) and I get thousands of thousands articles. I start pulling up some and that is when MY LIFE CHANGED. I found out after 4 1/2 years after BA that the shell of the implants are SILICONE and that the textured implants shell when the implant starts to deflate breaks off into little fragments in your body and since they have a higher risk of deflation, they are not recommended. I NEVER KNEW THAT THE SHELL WAS SILICONE and that without even having deflation and having other complications can lead to the all the unhealthy things that I read. I was so disgusted with myself on how I could have let this happen to me. Why did I sacrifice my body and health for even breasts THAT HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. Just the word silicone makes my skin crawl. If my PS would have told me in 1999 about the implants and the silicone shells, I would have RAN OUT OF HIS OFFICE SO FAST AND THANKED GOD THAT I KNEW BETTER TO NEVER GO BACK. I cried for hours and hours knowing now everything that was happening to me PHYSICALLY IN THE LAST THREE YEARS WERE DUE TO MY IMPLANTS. I had been getting worried because I thought something was wrong with me because I was dropping things out of my hands but I had a firm grip and being clumsy and forgetful, but I thought it was getting older and stress of long hours at work. My friends and I even joked that we were going to have to dye my hair black because the blonde was getting to my brain. I will sometimes say a word and sometimes it comes out slurred or just not right. I mentioned three months ago to my friends that my hair was coming out in little clumps and they said it was from stress. EVERYTHING AT THAT POINT MADE SENSE AND IT WASN'T ME AND MY SCAR TISSUE AND THAT I WAS ONE OF THESE UNLUCKY WOMAN. This happens all the time with saline implants THAT IS WHY MY PS AND HIS ASSISTANT PUSHED SO HARD ON THE NEW AND IMPROVED SILICONE IMPLANTS BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING AND THEY KNOW THE TIME IS COMING JUST LIKE THE OLD SILICONE IMPLANTS IN THE 80'S AND 90'S. The only reason why I didn't hear bad things when I got this done in 1999 is because we are just right now GETTING SICK AND GOING BACK AND BACK for reops.Even though back in 1999 when I got implants I wasn't told any of this and WOULD NOT HAVE gotten implants if I knew silicone was involved and that I would be back more than once to replace them. I will always say I take responsibility for what has happened to me because I still made a choice that was not a necessity but I WILL NOW make my choices very differently when it might affect the rest of my life and to be able to determine if it is a life decision. The fact is it DID HAPPEN and I believe EVERYTHING that happens to us, HAPPENS for a reason. Obviously, I know I have to have tests done to see how much silicone is in my body. I have had 2 DEFLATIONS AND CC IN BOTH BREAST FOR 4 1/2 years, I know it is in my body and the physical side effects have been happening since I have had my implants. To what extent I will find out. I know that I will now have to take my implants out and going thru 1 complete deflation and 1 other slow leak I got to see what the implants have done to my breasts. My breasts WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, something again that was never told to me. I thought they would look the same if the implants were not there. WRONG!!!!! I am a very petite woman who has little body fat. My breasts are so streched and saggy from the implant it looks like a 80 year womans breast on a 35 year old woman body. There were so many stretch marks it was disgusting. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LITTLE PERKY UNEVEN BREASTS. THEY ARE GONE FOREVER. I will admit at this time I am not looking forward to having my implants removed just for the sole purpose of, I have already expereinced what they will look like and FOREVER A REMINDER OF WHAT I HAVE DONE but I will get over that. What is more important is my health. I am only human and for awhile the way they will look will be depressing. The most important part of this journey is it has tested me on how I would react to a choice I made that wasn't a good one. This WILL NOT make me angry or bitter towards the world or other Plastic Surgeons. I know that not all PS are like the one I had and to say that would make me look ignorant for a choice I MADE that was not needed. I will not turn against other women that have had no problems and think we are crazy. They and everybody have their own opinion and trust me, their time will come and they will need women like us to help and support them not throw things in their face. We are all human and all think and work in different ways and I will always be a kind soul when a shoulder to cry on is needed even when they never could believe it would happen to them.See thru all of this that I have been thru and will have to go thru while my body recovers, I will not let this change WHO I AM. By body has changed but I refuse to let this change my spirtual and giving ways. I will not let this take my kind soul. I have a choice to live life or let this live my life. I choose to live life like I always have. I have chose to take responsiblity for my part in this and not be a victim but a kind soul to women and society that need to be more informed on what really happens. If I choose to be a victim it makes me ignorant of not taking responsiblity that I, myself, made this choice, and nobody listens to somebody or believes what they say is credible if they don't admit to the obvious. I want to share my story and inform other women and society WHAT REALLY HAPPENS when you go thru BA.I will always respect ones opinions or choices that they have made that are different than my own. People have come into my life that I have not understood their ways or choices but it never affected their kind ways for me or their good intentions for fighting for what is right for other people and taking their own time to do that. People don't waste time on things or people they don't care about. It just is harder to see with some people than others because we are all communicate in different ways and words.Wish me luck and pray for me as I will now be dealing with what this has done to my body. Thank God I have the best friends a girl could have because they have been there and now will be with me every step of the way and now I have all of you that truly understand what I am going thru.

[Guest guest]

What a touching story, and a tough journey all in one, hang in there trooper, I know you will be fine with your great attitude!

----- Original Message -----

From: *~Patty~*

Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2003 8:58 PM

Subject: Re: Terrie

Hi Terrie,

What a loving message from you toward us. I only wish those in Washington DC and in the plastic surgeon's offices would feel our pain as much as you have, and shed some tears over the plight of all women harmed by these stupid medical devices, if they can even be called that. I know you don't hold any grudges toward anyone else in the breast implant industry, but I believe your letter shows that at least you care about letting them know what can happen with breast augmentation, because it isn't always pretty.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Can I post your letter on our testimony page?

Your experience mirrors that of hundreds if not thousands of other women, regarding the whole sales pitch with implants. I was told that they would go with me to my grave. I was not told about all the horrible symptoms of autoimmune illness. I was not told that there were memory problems, neurological problems, or any of the other illnesses. I was told about the complications, such as hematoma and rupture, and the whole connective tissue disease association was brushed aside as frivolous.

In your letter, you discussed alot of the trouble you had with CC and leakage, and I am so sorry you had to go through all that. I am sorry to hear that you recently replaced your implants too. The one thing I am concerned about, though, is the neurological signs you mentioned....the dropping of things out of your hands, the clumsiness, the forgetfullness, the saying of wrong words and slurring of words....these are all signs that something more insidious is going on inside your body that may lead to more complicated illness. Have you thought about removing the implants completely and letting all of this go?

I know how hard it is to think about going back to the way things were, especially if you had uneven breasts, but I think your health is more important than anything. It seems you've realized this too.

Please let us know how we can help more, and I hope you will feel comfort knowing we are here, and have already been down this dark path.

Patty

----- Original Message -----

From: easygoingchickie

Sent: Monday, September 01, 2003 9:01 PM

Subject: (unknown)

Terrie's storyI have read 90% percent of the messages from day 1 till today on this website this past week and have went thur some of your pain while going thru mine. I WANT YOU TO ALL KNOW THERE WERE TEARS THAT WERE FLOWING FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT TILL NOW. I HAVE NEVER FELT CLOSER TO PEOPLE THAT I HAVEN'T EVEN MET JUST BECAUSE I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME KIND OF PAIN YOU HAVE AND I NO LONGER FEEL ALONE. THAT IS POWERFUL!This is my journey thru BA and lengthy as it is(AND IT IS VERY LONG, BUT TRUST ME IT IS A LEARING EXPERIENCE FOR ALL), if somebody would have told me what I know now, I would not have this story to tell. In Feb of 99, I decided to go thru with BA. The consultation was all about making my breasts even and a cup size bigger. One of my breast was way smaller than the other and that was the reason I decided to go thru with it. I would finally have even breasts. He showed me three different implants. Never did he go over the specific type of implant or complications with each of the implants, only that the one he showed me would be a better fit than the others. Since I am very petite, he was going to place the implant under the muscle. I never thought to ask him about anything because I figured he would have told me(Big Mistake) and I have never heard anything bad on implants. I live in Dallas and trust me, with all the fake breasts here I would have heard something!HA I go in for the BA and that is when (15 to 20 minutes) before surgery his assistant gives me the paperwork and tells me to fill it out in the waiting room. At this point, I am excited and can't wait to finally look normal on top, so I can hardly stay focused and read the bold things but not Everything. I mean if Saline implants were bad he would have went over this with ME in person and informed me.(HOW NAIVE WAS I) I also had no idea that in 1999 the FDA had not approved saline implants. No one went over any of the complications, implant info, or that they don't last a lifetime.After surgery and alot of pain for weeks and bruising, my breasts (or I thought) were normal. They were high and full and EVEN! I thought that is want they were supposed to look like. He never went over complications like CC, inflactions and etc, so I thought everything was fine.(Wrong)After 3 1/2 years after my BA, last July (03) I woke up one morning and my right breast had completely deflated. I could not believe what had happened. Since he never told me this could happen, I am thinking I am some freak of nature. I called his office and made an appt. I go to PS office for him to examine deflation and he tells me I have CC on my left breast and if my right looked like my left that is what caused the deflation. I had never heard of CC before this and he explains and blames it on my scar tissure. My breast have looked like that for sometime, so I have had CC all that time and didn't even know it. He told me that I would pay Aeth. costs and my warranty would pay the rest. I didn't even know I had a warrranty because I had received no paperwork when I first got my BA. No inform consent form, no id card nothing. I was in so much pain when I left after BA that I just did not think of it. He said that fixing the CC on my left at the same time of replacing my impant on my right would be to much trauma and said that if the CC got worse on left he would take out later.(Big Mistake) After replacing my right implant, he gives me for the very first time paperwork ON THIS surgery. I get warranty papers and my copy of the disclosure form and id card for the right one he replaced. After swelling goes down on my right breast, the left breast is higher and not as big as my right breast. I go back for him to look at and he says the cc got worse on left and he would take out cc and not replace my left. He agains tells me it is my scar tissure. He said he would do this out of his pocket and pay the aest cost. I really thought he did this because he felt bad that I had such unlucky scar tissue. (I know very naive of me). I have the CC removed and after a month goes by, my left still looks smaller. Not as high as before but smaller. I go back 6 weeks after CC was taken out and say it looks like we might have to ad more saline in the left to match the right. He said OK if that is what you want to do. ( Of course, I would have to pay)He then mentions to me about participating in this study with Mentor. He said that in my case I would qualify and silicone implants would be my answer to all these problems. His assistant talks to me for 30 minutes about how great silicone is and that she and her daughters and everybody she knows has them and had no problems. They have improved with lots of research and silicone is much better now This is the only time since I got BI that they informed me on implants. (Too bad she forgot to tell me about the ones I HAD IN ME. I told her I was not and will NEVER be interested in silicone. My PS said give it alittle time for your breasts to heal before we add more saline in left because they are going to drop. I was moving up with my company and working long hours and when I wasn't working, I was out going out and doing something all the time, so I just let time go by thinking that I might not have to go thru another procedure and nature will take its course. (WRONG!)August of this year(03), I had noticed my left(go figure) had gotten quite abit smaller over the last two days. I called the office and told them and she told me his assistant would call me. Never heard from her that week. Called again, never heard from her, and then finally after two more days went by, I called again and said if she doesn't call me today, I will obtain an attorney to get this fixed. Of course, she called me that day. I told her that my left was deflating and she said email her a picture until the docter sees you next week. I go to take the picture(for my deflated left breast) and my best friend goes I swear your right breast just got bigger. She said that in 5 mintues from taking the first picture, it looked like it was swelling and my veins were all showing which was not normal for me. It happened just like that. I call my PS and tell her and she said the docter would look at it and call me back. At this point, I am going OUT OF MY MIND. When my PS assistant calls she got my pictures and said the PS said that the left breast was deflating and I told he about the right and she said he would have to look at when I got there next week to replace my left. She tells me that they are going to request 2 different type of implants and when I go in next week, he will see which type of implant to use. I decided to look at other plastic surgeons web sites and see what they use and see what articles could give me the best information about implants. I find out at this time that I have Textured implants by matching my ID on my card to this info on one ps website and article he wrote about implants and styles. I looked at other PS websites and in almost everyone it said that textured implants were hardly used by them because of the very high deflation and CC rate. The smooth saline implant is a much more effective implant. The textured implant had multiple reops because of the scar tissure attaching on the implant. I could not believe this. He NEVER mentioned that I had textured let alone the history on the implant and knowing that the textured implant would bring cc and deflation again to my breast, he REPLACED my first deflation WITH THE SAME TYPE OF IMPLANT. I go in for my THIRD REOP AND REPLACEMENT in ONE YEAR and I have my info from other PS in my folder and best friend with me. He tells me, AFTER I ALREADY KNEW THIS by getting the information MYSELF from these other PS websites, that he wants to replace my implants with smooth implants. He looks at my left, deflating, looks at my right breast( the one that has already been replaced last year) and says, there is something wrong but I can't tell my just looking at it(Later I find out that there was infections, etc.). I asked him why he didn't go over with me in 1999 when I had my BA the different kind of implants and the complications vs. what he thought was best for me. I told him that I just found out that the texture has a very high deflation and cc rate than smooth and that most docters use the smooth for less complications. He said that the the rate is not that much higher than smooth(which is bullpucky) but I said I don't care if it was only 1 to 5% higher(which it is much higher than that, I still would NOT HAVE GOTTEN TEXTURED IMPLANTS. What woman would pick a higher risk implant?HELLO? He says that smooth implants can have the same problems that I am having. Which is very ironic that is the first time he came out and said something like that, only because it was happening, and now I know implants don't last a lifetime. I said I am aware of that NOW after reading on my own, but the rate is much lower than the textured. I asked him why I never got my paperwork educating me on BA and my implants and the complications of that style, and why I never got a ID card from my original BA. If I would have known when my right breast deflated last year that I had textured, I would have replaced my left breast at the same time because as we know, the CC is what causes the deflation becaue MY SCAR TISSUE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T WORKING WITH TEXTURED IMPLANTS.. Why would I wait for that to happen and not have done it right then. He said what difference does it make because if I would have replaced the left, you still are having problems with the right. THE DIFFERENCE WOULD BE IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST WITH ME WHEN I WAS HERE LAST YEAR WITH MY DEFLATED RIGHT IMPLANT AND TOLD ME THAT YOU THINK WE SHOULD REPLACE WITH SMOOTH BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT I WOULD BE HERE AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH THESE TEXTURED IMPLANTS, I WOULD PROBABLY NOT BE SITTING HERE GOING THRU MY THIRD OPERATION IN ONE YEAR. Then it comes out, GET THIS ONE, HE DOESN'T EVEN USE MY PARTICULAR IMPLANT ANYMORE. Guess, he could not take all the reops he was doing. He had the NERVE TO SAY TO ME that hopefully, all this trouble is because I am unlucky, and that hopfully the smooth implants will work. Now, along with my scar tissure being the culprit, I am a freak of nautre. That next day, I went in to have them replaced and I just wanting this over with. That was two weeks ago(Aug 03) and I am still sore and can't tell if they will work.Last week while I was recovering, something in me was still telling me something was not right with all of this. I go to the computer and pull up saline implants(something I should have done way long ago) instead of the plastic surgeons site I had looked at before( which I only had time read about what type of implants they use) and I get thousands of thousands articles. I start pulling up some and that is when MY LIFE CHANGED. I found out after 4 1/2 years after BA that the shell of the implants are SILICONE and that the textured implants shell when the implant starts to deflate breaks off into little fragments in your body and since they have a higher risk of deflation, they are not recommended. I NEVER KNEW THAT THE SHELL WAS SILICONE and that without even having deflation and having other complications can lead to the all the unhealthy things that I read. I was so disgusted with myself on how I could have let this happen to me. Why did I sacrifice my body and health for even breasts THAT HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. Just the word silicone makes my skin crawl. If my PS would have told me in 1999 about the implants and the silicone shells, I would have RAN OUT OF HIS OFFICE SO FAST AND THANKED GOD THAT I KNEW BETTER TO NEVER GO BACK. I cried for hours and hours knowing now everything that was happening to me PHYSICALLY IN THE LAST THREE YEARS WERE DUE TO MY IMPLANTS. I had been getting worried because I thought something was wrong with me because I was dropping things out of my hands but I had a firm grip and being clumsy and forgetful, but I thought it was getting older and stress of long hours at work. My friends and I even joked that we were going to have to dye my hair black because the blonde was getting to my brain. I will sometimes say a word and sometimes it comes out slurred or just not right. I mentioned three months ago to my friends that my hair was coming out in little clumps and they said it was from stress. EVERYTHING AT THAT POINT MADE SENSE AND IT WASN'T ME AND MY SCAR TISSUE AND THAT I WAS ONE OF THESE UNLUCKY WOMAN. This happens all the time with saline implants THAT IS WHY MY PS AND HIS ASSISTANT PUSHED SO HARD ON THE NEW AND IMPROVED SILICONE IMPLANTS BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING AND THEY KNOW THE TIME IS COMING JUST LIKE THE OLD SILICONE IMPLANTS IN THE 80'S AND 90'S. The only reason why I didn't hear bad things when I got this done in 1999 is because we are just right now GETTING SICK AND GOING BACK AND BACK for reops.Even though back in 1999 when I got implants I wasn't told any of this and WOULD NOT HAVE gotten implants if I knew silicone was involved and that I would be back more than once to replace them. I will always say I take responsibility for what has happened to me because I still made a choice that was not a necessity but I WILL NOW make my choices very differently when it might affect the rest of my life and to be able to determine if it is a life decision. The fact is it DID HAPPEN and I believe EVERYTHING that happens to us, HAPPENS for a reason. Obviously, I know I have to have tests done to see how much silicone is in my body. I have had 2 DEFLATIONS AND CC IN BOTH BREAST FOR 4 1/2 years, I know it is in my body and the physical side effects have been happening since I have had my implants. To what extent I will find out. I know that I will now have to take my implants out and going thru 1 complete deflation and 1 other slow leak I got to see what the implants have done to my breasts. My breasts WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, something again that was never told to me. I thought they would look the same if the implants were not there. WRONG!!!!! I am a very petite woman who has little body fat. My breasts are so streched and saggy from the implant it looks like a 80 year womans breast on a 35 year old woman body. There were so many stretch marks it was disgusting. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LITTLE PERKY UNEVEN BREASTS. THEY ARE GONE FOREVER. I will admit at this time I am not looking forward to having my implants removed just for the sole purpose of, I have already expereinced what they will look like and FOREVER A REMINDER OF WHAT I HAVE DONE but I will get over that. What is more important is my health. I am only human and for awhile the way they will look will be depressing. The most important part of this journey is it has tested me on how I would react to a choice I made that wasn't a good one. This WILL NOT make me angry or bitter towards the world or other Plastic Surgeons. I know that not all PS are like the one I had and to say that would make me look ignorant for a choice I MADE that was not needed. I will not turn against other women that have had no problems and think we are crazy. They and everybody have their own opinion and trust me, their time will come and they will need women like us to help and support them not throw things in their face. We are all human and all think and work in different ways and I will always be a kind soul when a shoulder to cry on is needed even when they never could believe it would happen to them.See thru all of this that I have been thru and will have to go thru while my body recovers, I will not let this change WHO I AM. By body has changed but I refuse to let this change my spirtual and giving ways. I will not let this take my kind soul. I have a choice to live life or let this live my life. I choose to live life like I always have. I have chose to take responsiblity for my part in this and not be a victim but a kind soul to women and society that need to be more informed on what really happens. If I choose to be a victim it makes me ignorant of not taking responsiblity that I, myself, made this choice, and nobody listens to somebody or believes what they say is credible if they don't admit to the obvious. I want to share my story and inform other women and society WHAT REALLY HAPPENS when you go thru BA.I will always respect ones opinions or choices that they have made that are different than my own. People have come into my life that I have not understood their ways or choices but it never affected their kind ways for me or their good intentions for fighting for what is right for other people and taking their own time to do that. People don't waste time on things or people they don't care about. It just is harder to see with some people than others because we are all communicate in different ways and words.Wish me luck and pray for me as I will now be dealing with what this has done to my body. Thank God I have the best friends a girl could have because they have been there and now will be with me every step of the way and now I have all of you that truly understand what I am going thru.