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[Guest guest]

Terrie's story

I have read 90% percent of the messages from day 1 till today on

this website this past week and have went thur some of your pain

while going thru mine. I WANT YOU TO ALL KNOW THERE WERE TEARS THAT

WERE FLOWING FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

IT TILL NOW. I HAVE NEVER FELT CLOSER TO PEOPLE THAT I HAVEN'T EVEN

MET JUST BECAUSE I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME KIND OF PAIN YOU HAVE

AND I NO LONGER FEEL ALONE. THAT IS POWERFUL!

This is my journey thru BA and lengthy as it is(AND IT IS VERY LONG,

BUT TRUST ME IT IS A LEARING EXPERIENCE FOR ALL), if somebody would

have told me what I know now, I would not have this story to tell.

In Feb of 99, I decided to go thru with BA. The consultation was all

about making my breasts even and a cup size bigger. One of my breast

was way smaller than the other and that was the reason I decided to

go thru with it. I would finally have even breasts. He showed me

three different implants. Never did he go over the specific type of

implant or complications with each of the implants, only that the one

he showed me would be a better fit than the others. Since I am very

petite, he was going to place the implant under the muscle. I never

thought to ask him about anything because I figured he would have

told me(Big Mistake) and I have never heard anything bad on

implants. I live in Dallas and trust me, with all the fake breasts

here I would have heard something!HA I go in for the BA and that is

when (15 to 20 minutes) before surgery his assistant gives me the

paperwork and tells me to fill it out in the waiting room. At this

point, I am excited and can't wait to finally look normal on top, so

I can hardly stay focused and read the bold things but not

Everything. I mean if Saline implants were bad he would have went

over this with ME in person and informed me.(HOW NAIVE WAS I) I

also had no idea that in 1999 the FDA had not approved saline

implants. No one went over any of the complications, implant info,

or that they don't last a lifetime.

After surgery and alot of pain for weeks and bruising, my breasts (or

I thought) were normal. They were high and full and EVEN! I thought

that is want they were supposed to look like. He never went over

complications like CC, inflactions and etc, so I thought everything

was fine.(Wrong)

After 3 1/2 years after my BA, last July (03) I woke up one morning

and my right breast had completely deflated. I could not believe

what had happened. Since he never told me this could happen, I am

thinking I am some freak of nature. I called his office and made an

appt. I go to PS office for him to examine deflation and he tells me

I have CC on my left breast and if my right looked like my left that

is what caused the deflation. I had never heard of CC before this

and he explains and blames it on my scar tissure. My breast have

looked like that for sometime, so I have had CC all that time and

didn't even know it. He told me that I would pay Aeth. costs and my

warranty would pay the rest. I didn't even know I had a warrranty

because I had received no paperwork when I first got my BA. No

inform consent form, no id card nothing. I was in so much pain when I

left after BA that I just did not think of it. He said that fixing

the CC on my left at the same time of replacing my impant on my right

would be to much trauma and said that if the CC got worse on left he

would take out later.(Big Mistake) After replacing my right implant,

he gives me for the very first time paperwork ON THIS surgery. I get

warranty papers and my copy of the disclosure form and id card for

the right one he replaced. After swelling goes down on my right

breast, the left breast is higher and not as big as my right breast.

I go back for him to look at and he says the cc got worse on left and

he would take out cc and not replace my left. He agains tells me it

is my scar tissure. He said he would do this out of his pocket and

pay the aest cost. I really thought he did this because he felt bad

that I had such unlucky scar tissue. (I know very naive of me). I

have the CC removed and after a month goes by, my left still looks

smaller. Not as high as before but smaller. I go back 6 weeks after

CC was taken out and say it looks like we might have to ad more

saline in the left to match the right. He said OK if that is what

you want to do. ( Of course, I would have to pay)He then mentions to

me about participating in this study with Mentor. He said that in my

case I would qualify and silicone implants would be my answer to all

these problems. His assistant talks to me for 30 minutes about how

great silicone is and that she and her daughters and everybody she

knows has them and had no problems. They have improved with lots of

research and silicone is much better now This is the only time since

I got BI that they informed me on implants. (Too bad she forgot to

tell me about the ones I HAD IN ME. I told her I was not and will

NEVER be interested in silicone. My PS said give it alittle time for

your breasts to heal before we add more saline in left because they

are going to drop. I was moving up with my company and working long

hours and when I wasn't working, I was out going out and doing

something all the time, so I just let time go by thinking that I

might not have to go thru another procedure and nature will take its

course. (WRONG!)

August of this year(03), I had noticed my left(go figure) had gotten

quite abit smaller over the last two days. I called the office and

told them and she told me his assistant would call me. Never heard

from her that week. Called again, never heard from her, and then

finally after two more days went by, I called again and said if she

doesn't call me today, I will obtain an attorney to get this fixed.

Of course, she called me that day. I told her that my left was

deflating and she said email her a picture until the docter sees you

next week. I go to take the picture(for my deflated left breast) and

my best friend goes I swear your right breast just got bigger. She

said that in 5 mintues from taking the first picture, it looked like

it was swelling and my veins were all showing which was not normal

for me. It happened just like that. I call my PS and tell her and

she said the docter would look at it and call me back.

At this point, I am going OUT OF MY MIND. When my PS assistant calls

she got my pictures and said the PS said that the left breast was

deflating and I told he about the right and she said he would have to

look at when I got there next week to replace my left. She tells me

that they are going to request 2 different type of implants and when

I go in next week, he will see which type of implant to use.

I decided to look at other plastic surgeons web sites and see what

they use and see what articles could give me the best information

about implants. I find out at this time that I have Textured

implants by matching my ID on my card to this info on one ps website

and article he wrote about implants and styles. I looked at other PS

websites and in almost everyone it said that textured implants were

hardly used by them because of the very high deflation and CC rate.

The smooth saline implant is a much more effective implant. The

textured implant had multiple reops because of the scar tissure

attaching on the implant. I could not believe this. He NEVER

mentioned that I had textured let alone the history on the implant

and knowing that the textured implant would bring cc and deflation

again to my breast, he REPLACED my first deflation WITH THE SAME TYPE

OF IMPLANT.

I go in for my THIRD REOP AND REPLACEMENT in ONE YEAR and I have my

info from other PS in my folder and best friend with me. He tells

me, AFTER I ALREADY KNEW THIS by getting the information MYSELF from

these other PS websites, that he wants to replace my implants with

smooth implants. He looks at my left, deflating, looks at my right

breast( the one that has already been replaced last year) and says,

there is something wrong but I can't tell my just looking at it(Later

I find out that there was infections, etc.). I asked him why he

didn't go over with me in 1999 when I had my BA the different kind of

implants and the complications vs. what he thought was best for me.

I told him that I just found out that the texture has a very high

deflation and cc rate than smooth and that most docters use the

smooth for less complications. He said that the the rate is not that

much higher than smooth(which is bullpucky) but I said I don't care

if it was only 1 to 5% higher(which it is much higher than that, I

still would NOT HAVE GOTTEN TEXTURED IMPLANTS. What woman would pick

a higher risk implant?HELLO? He says that smooth implants can have

the same problems that I am having. Which is very ironic that is the

first time he came out and said something like that, only because it

was happening, and now I know implants don't last a lifetime. I said

I am aware of that NOW after reading on my own, but the rate is much

lower than the textured. I asked him why I never got my paperwork

educating me on BA and my implants and the complications of that

style, and why I never got a ID card from my original BA. If I would

have known when my right breast deflated last year that I had

textured, I would have replaced my left breast at the same time

because as we know, the CC is what causes the deflation becaue MY

SCAR TISSUE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T WORKING WITH TEXTURED IMPLANTS.. Why

would I wait for that to happen and not have done it right then. He

said what difference does it make because if I would have replaced

the left, you still are having problems with the right. THE

DIFFERENCE WOULD BE IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST WITH ME WHEN I WAS

HERE LAST YEAR WITH MY DEFLATED RIGHT IMPLANT AND TOLD ME THAT YOU

THINK WE SHOULD REPLACE WITH SMOOTH BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT I WOULD BE

HERE AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH THESE TEXTURED IMPLANTS, I WOULD PROBABLY

NOT BE SITTING HERE GOING THRU MY THIRD OPERATION IN ONE YEAR. Then

it comes out, GET THIS ONE, HE DOESN'T EVEN USE MY PARTICULAR IMPLANT

ANYMORE. Guess, he could not take all the reops he was doing. He had

the NERVE TO SAY TO ME that hopefully, all this trouble is because I

am unlucky, and that hopfully the smooth implants will work. Now,

along with my scar tissure being the culprit, I am a freak of

nautre. That next day, I went in to have them replaced and I just

wanting this over with. That was two weeks ago(Aug 03) and I am

still sore and can't tell if they will work.

Last week while I was recovering, something in me was still telling

me something was not right with all of this. I go to the computer

and pull up saline implants(something I should have done way long

ago) instead of the plastic surgeons site I had looked at before(

which I only had time read about what type of implants they use) and

I get thousands of thousands articles. I start pulling up some and

that is when MY LIFE CHANGED. I found out after 4 1/2 years after BA

that the shell of the implants are SILICONE and that the textured

implants shell when the implant starts to deflate breaks off into

little fragments in your body and since they have a higher risk of

deflation, they are not recommended. I NEVER KNEW THAT THE SHELL

WAS SILICONE and that without even having deflation and having other

complications can lead to the all the unhealthy things that I read.

I was so disgusted with myself on how I could have let this happen to

me. Why did I sacrifice my body and health for even breasts THAT

HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. Just the word silicone makes my skin

crawl. If my PS would have told me in 1999 about the implants and

the silicone shells, I would have RAN OUT OF HIS OFFICE SO FAST AND

THANKED GOD THAT I KNEW BETTER TO NEVER GO BACK. I cried for hours

and hours knowing now everything that was happening to me PHYSICALLY

IN THE LAST THREE YEARS WERE DUE TO MY IMPLANTS. I had been getting

worried because I thought something was wrong with me because I was

dropping things out of my hands but I had a firm grip and being

clumsy and forgetful, but I thought it was getting older and stress

of long hours at work. My friends and I even joked that we were

going to have to dye my hair black because the blonde was getting to

my brain. I will sometimes say a word and sometimes it comes out

slurred or just not right. I mentioned three months ago to my

friends that my hair was coming out in little clumps and they said it

was from stress. EVERYTHING AT THAT POINT MADE SENSE AND IT WASN'T

ME AND MY SCAR TISSUE AND THAT I WAS ONE OF THESE UNLUCKY WOMAN.

This happens all the time with saline implants THAT IS WHY MY PS AND

HIS ASSISTANT PUSHED SO HARD ON THE NEW AND IMPROVED SILICONE

IMPLANTS BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT WE ARE EXPERIENCING AND THEY KNOW THE

TIME IS COMING JUST LIKE THE OLD SILICONE IMPLANTS IN THE 80'S AND

90'S. The only reason why I didn't hear bad things when I got this

done in 1999 is because we are just right now GETTING SICK AND GOING

BACK AND BACK for reops.

Even though back in 1999 when I got implants I wasn't told any of

this and WOULD NOT HAVE gotten implants if I knew silicone was

involved and that I would be back more than once to replace them. I

will always say I take responsibility for what has happened to me

because I still made a choice that was not a necessity but I WILL

NOW make my choices very differently when it might affect the rest of

my life and to be able to determine if it is a life decision. The

fact is it DID HAPPEN and I believe EVERYTHING that happens to us,

HAPPENS for a reason.

Obviously, I know I have to have tests done to see how much silicone

is in my body. I have had 2 DEFLATIONS AND CC IN BOTH BREAST FOR 4

1/2 years, I know it is in my body and the physical side effects have

been happening since I have had my implants. To what extent I will

find out. I know that I will now have to take my implants out and

going thru 1 complete deflation and 1 other slow leak I got to see

what the implants have done to my breasts. My breasts WILL NEVER BE

THE SAME, something again that was never told to me. I thought they

would look the same if the implants were not there. WRONG!!!!! I am

a very petite woman who has little body fat. My breasts are so

streched and saggy from the implant it looks like a 80 year womans

breast on a 35 year old woman body. There were so many stretch marks

it was disgusting. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LITTLE PERKY UNEVEN BREASTS.

THEY ARE GONE FOREVER. I will admit at this time I am not looking

forward to having my implants removed just for the sole purpose of, I

have already expereinced what they will look like and FOREVER A

REMINDER OF WHAT I HAVE DONE but I will get over that. What is more

important is my health. I am only human and for awhile the way they

will look will be depressing.

The most important part of this journey is it has tested me on how I

would react to a choice I made that wasn't a good one. This WILL NOT

make me angry or bitter towards the world or other Plastic Surgeons.

I know that not all PS are like the one I had and to say that would

make me look ignorant for a choice I MADE that was not needed. I

will not turn against other women that have had no problems and think

we are crazy. They and everybody have their own opinion and trust

me, their time will come and they will need women like us to help and

support them not throw things in their face. We are all human and all

think and work in different ways and I will always be a kind soul

when a shoulder to cry on is needed even when they never could

believe it would happen to them.

See thru all of this that I have been thru and will have to go thru

while my body recovers, I will not let this change WHO I AM. By body

has changed but I refuse to let this change my spirtual and giving

ways. I will not let this take my kind soul. I have a choice to live

life or let this live my life. I choose to live life like I always

have. I have chose to take responsiblity for my part in this and not

be a victim but a kind soul to women and society that need to be more

informed on what really happens. If I choose to be a victim it makes

me ignorant of not taking responsiblity that I, myself, made this

choice, and nobody listens to somebody or believes what they say is

credible if they don't admit to the obvious. I want to share my

story and inform other women and society WHAT REALLY HAPPENS when

you go thru BA.

I will always respect ones opinions or choices that they have made

that are different than my own. People have come into my life that I

have not understood their ways or choices but it never affected their

kind ways for me or their good intentions for fighting for what is

right for other people and taking their own time to do that. People

don't waste time on things or people they don't care about. It just

is harder to see with some people than others because we are all

communicate in different ways and words.

Wish me luck and pray for me as I will now be dealing with what this

has done to my body. Thank God I have the best friends a girl could

have because they have been there and now will be with me every step

of the way and now I have all of you that truly understand what I am

going thru.