From

[Guest guest]

,

Besides the shell being silicone I noticed you wrote its just salt water. Well the saline solution they use has a shelf life and is not designed to be in a constant body temp. of 98 degrees. It can harbor fungi, mold, bacteria, etc. that can eventually migrate into your body. Just another thing to consider.

Barbara

[Guest guest]

Thank you all so much, I'm still feeling very blown away by all of this, I am going away for the weekend but when I get back I am definately going to go over all this w/my boyfriend, I read most of the emails and printed the stories to read again, and probably again...I was under the impression that "saline was safe" ...just to clarify, it is the silicone shell that the body rejects? Does anyone know why the symptoms come...becasue the body rejects the foreign object or is the silicone shell toxic to the body? I know there are no actual clinical studies that prove it, but obviously it has to do with the implants but has anyone found a site that offers explanations/opinions? Well I am definately bummed,,,I was so excited about the BA but maybe I did find this site for a reason, I don't want to gamble with my health...I already have asthma and I am the biggest baby when I get sick, I am very lucky to have such loving and supportive family/friends but I wouldn't want to put

them through it if I lost at Russian Roulette...especially my mom! I am an only child and she is supportive of the surgery but she definately wants me to know that she is only supportive if it is unharming to me...my response...of course mom, it's just salt water!...I am so glad to have read your stories, it isn't worth it, I just need to come to realization with it...I will touch base on Monday...I know I want to cry now becasue I really looked forward to having boobs I wasn't ashamed of, but I will keep reading your stories to help me stay strong...much love to all of you, you make me proud to be a woman!

Thank you again,

halvey70@... wrote:

Teri is right. I have been in your shoes. I was your age when I started saving for mine - it is all I thought about since Jr high. I was a AA - very small. Please read my story posted below - you would not want to be in my position right now. My life has been ruined and it can happen to you just like all of the other women in here. I now it is obnoxiously long, but at least take a few minutes to read what happened to me and keep it in your thoughts while you are making this decision - it is NOT something that can easily be reversed if you don't like them, like a haircolor. This is permanant and whether you like them or not it will alter your body forever and quite possibly the health of your future children. thanks - ShariMy Story:I am trying desperately to get over the anger and fear I feel for being so mislead and making such a stupid decision. I have had a lot of moments where I felt suicidal as

I don’t feel that anyone around me really understands what I am going through. Most of my doctors agree that there may be a link but nobody really wants to come out and say “yeah - these things are badâ€. I find it amazing the amounts of info I have found throughout my research that no more is being done in our society to put a stop to this madness. So many innocent young girls are making that same mistake I did and they just don’t understand the impact it will have for the rest of their lives. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t have to fight the urge to just run my car off the edge of an overpass on my way to work just to get rid of all of the pain. Not just the physical pain but emotional. All of the anger at what I have done to myself and being lied to and the fact that nobody believes me, all of the fear that it isn’t going to get better, the fear that I won’t be able to become a happier and more energetic mom to

my two year old and the fear that I will never be able to give him a sibling. The hurt that I feel having to wake up every morning and go to a high stress job as I can’t afford to quit when all I want to do is rest so I can get better. If my story can help others avoid this tragic life mistake then I feel better knowing that at have accomplished something good for a change.It has been less than a year since I started doing research on the subject and found the support groups. It is all making sense to me now but at first I didn’t know what and who to believe. To be honest with you I don’t know why I didn’t see the signs earlier – we have all been very mislead. In February of 1996 I went for my first consultation with the plastic surgeon. I was 25 and was a 34AA. I had always been petite and small busted and was sick of having all of my clothes altered and wearing padded bras all of the time. I just

wanted to look normal – not large. When I went to see him I was examined and told that I was a good candidate for it. They treated me like a princess and were extremely nice. I was told that the saline’s were completely safe and harmless – on the “very rare†chance that I had a break that it would be harmlessly absorbed into my body as it was only water. My PS claimed that in 18 years he had only had 1 leak. The only other complications that were discussed were the normal risks w/ surgery – infection and anesthesia problems. When I got the paperwork to sign with numerous other warnings on it I asked questions and was assured that those were only because of the problems with the silicone – not saline. I bought into it and paid my money. The operation was in April. He recommended the armpit crease incision to avoid breast scars and putting them under the muscle as I was very small busted and they would look more

natural. He also recommended texture implants as they had less of a risk for capsular contracture. (proved that one wrong with 6 months!) The operation was much worse than he had warned as far as pain but I figured that it was a small price to pay for looking good. Within a few months they still were not looking right. Not at all natural – very hard and high and painful. By January he scheduled me for another operation as I had developed capsular contracture - They had healed inside of very hard shells of scar tissue and were like rocks. They both had to be removed and reinserted. After that things went well for about two years. Then in May of 1999 I woke up one morning and when I looked at myself I looked lopsided. With in a few hours one of my breasts had completely deflated. I was very scared and called his emergency service. It took 5 calls but when he finally called back he assured me that it was completely

safe and he would fix it. This was on Sunday – by Wednesday I was back in for surgery to have the implant replaced. Apparently the valve had failed and leaked. He said that this was very rare which of course I know now to be false. They would not show me the implant when I asked to see it after the surgery which made me wonder about them but I trusted him – he was my doctor, right? Shortly after this I started having a lot of headaches. I was treated for migraines, allergies – you name it. Nothing would work. Then I started getting severe cramping and muscle spasms in my neck and shoulders and had to be put on muscle relaxers. Then things just started getting worse – stress, anxiety. I saw numerous doctors and was treated with anti-depressants as they felt the anxiety was caused by the chronic pain. After this I was just always sick – always had a cold, sinus infections, ear infections – you name it. I hadn’t

had three ear infections in my life up to 25 and then I was having 4 & 5 a year. every flu or virus that comes along – I get it. The headaches were getting worse and I started seeing chiropractors, neurologists, and massage therapists, and finally a pain management doctor as a last resort in January. During my exam he noted that I felt as I had a lot of scar tissue in my neck area and wanted to know if I had been in a bad accident. I stated that I had not but mention the implants. He then asked if I had ever had a leak. I think my heart probably stopped for a whole minute then – I had never thought of this. They had run test after test never giving me any answers. I thought I had some weird disease or something that nobody could identify. I constantly felt bad although I could not really describe it to anyone – sort of like always having the flu. Extremely tired and achy all of the time. I started

researching and became extremely terrified after finding the different web sites with other women’s stories as they were almost word for word – ME – all of the symptoms and complaints. I could not believe this was happening. After all – I was assured that they were safe. After doing a lot of soul searching I decided to have them removed. I went back to my original PS to ask him to do it for me. I wasn’t happy with all of the problems I was having and I wanted them out. I mentioned all of the info I found out and said that I did not want to risk it anymore. His attitude completely changed at this point. He said that I needed to wait another 6 months as I would change my mind – he was sure of it. I said that there was no possibility of me changing my mind but he wouldn’t listen. I told him that I was scared and would gladly pay for the operation – I wasn’t asking for a freebie. He treated me horribly

saying that I needed to be tested for cancer and other diseases as my illnesses were probably from one of those and he couldn’t operate if I had cancer. I assured him several times during the conversation that I would have all of the tests performed that he felt necessary to rule those out so he could do it. He continued to tell me that I would look horrible afterwards and would regret the decision. At this point in his office I started crying and was begging him to please put me on his schedule as he is pretty booked all of the time and in the meantime I would have all of the testing done he needed . He walked out of the room while I was talking to him – bawling at this point and never said another word to me. Gone was the nice guy saying that everything would be fine and I was going to look beautiful. I was so distraught after leaving his office that I could not even drive for an hour. I just sat in my car and

cried.Within a week I had another appointment with a different doctor. Upon seeing him he agreed to remove them based on my findings and scheduled my operation. Within about three months I was under the knife for the 4th time – removal. I asked for the implants so I could have them analyzed and he agreed. I took them home with me and after a few days took a look at them. One was yellow with small chunks floating in it. The other (the newer one replacing the deflated on in 99) looked clear but the valve was black. The explanting PS said that this was tissue growth into the valve which was holding it open. I Sent them to Canada to a specialist to have them looked at which ended up showing that both had defective valves and were leaking – both were severely contaminated with micro organism growth. I gave a copy of the report to my explant PS who in turn agreed and wrote a letter in support of my insurance appeal

that after reviewing the report he also felt that this was a cause of my symptomatic illnesses. It has been almost 5 months now and I have seen a little improvement – not much. I have had several infections in my rib cartilage which is still extremely painful. I am starting to wonder if maybe all of my scar capsules were removed as I am still very ill and my breasts feel a little lumpy underneath. If I can get to a point where I have enough money, I would like to go to Cleveland to see Dr. Feng for another operation to make sure all has been removed. I wanted to go to her in the first place but I did not have the extra money for the trip. My explant Dr. was wonderful and local and gave me a break as he knew I was paying out of pocket for the operation. I am just glad they are gone. My families’ finances have been very tight the last few years with all of the dr appts and medications.

Hopefully as the days go by I will get better and better – it will be a tough road but one I am glad to be taking. I thank god everyday for helping me to find the truth and helping me to get through this.

[Guest guest]

hi

we were all under the impression that saline is safe - don't be too bummed. I

would give anything to be your age again and have a choice knowing what I know

now. I am not an expert by any means but based on all of my research and my

experience here is my answers to your questions:

Sterile saline packages are marked to be stored around 77 degrees and has a

shelf life of 18-24 months. Would you want to drink a glass of water that had

been in a 98-100 degree oven for 7-10 years? yuk - even if it was sterile I

don't think it can stay that way forever. I think that some people have a

reaction to the silicone shell just like the silicone leaking implants. The

same side effects have been reported by women that I have met as those from the

silicone problems back in the 80's. The other problem (which is what I believe

was my issue) is that the implants can become contaminated upon insertion or

leak and allow body fluids inside them and the organisms grow and reproduce then

leak back out, etc. They found over 12 different " breeds " of junk in mine that

could be identified. One that was removed had 30 cc's less fluid than was

reported going into it and both had tissue and mold growth inside the implant

and valve. They found staph, aspergillus, and other weird stuff in there that I

believe has caused alot of my problems.

you can go to " survivors of salines " website and www.explantation.com for more

links with medical info from doctors and scientists and magazine articles, etc.,

- this is where I found most of the info that made me understand I needed them

to be removed. survivors of salines has a TON of good links you may be

interested in. hope this helps

shari

[Guest guest]

,

I got saline implants when I was 19. I was like you, extremely unhappy with my breasts. Due to a congenital deformity, I never developed a right breast, yet I had a full B cup on the left. I wore a very padded bra with double padding on the right side around the clock...I even slept in it because I was so humiliated by my breasts. I thought implants were the answer to my problems...but they took my young life from me. I was bed-ridden for nearly three years with extreme fatigue, pain, depression and severe neurological problems. I can never get those years back and I will probably never be completely healthy again. I was explanted this past August and yes, I am back to having one breast again...but I can walk again...I can drive...I can have a conversation...there are still things I can't do like I used to, but hopefully if I take care of my body, one day I'll be able to. I am going through the process of getting on disability right now because I am still unable to work. I am 25 years old and I'm going to be on disability.

Nobody can tell you for sure that you will get sick from implants like we all did, but I can tell you straight up that IT IS NOT WORTH THE RISK. There are so many great breast enhancers and prosthesis out there that look so real and are so comfortable and no one ever has to know that they aren't real except you and your boyfriend...you can even swim in them!...I paid $60 for mine, I wear them everyday and I think they look great.

I'm so glad you have the chance to hear from us all before your surgery date so you can make an educated decision...which is something we weren't able to do. I hope you make the best decision for you.

Colleen

From: Serbe <nonstopmx6@...>

Reply-

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 10:17:12 -0700 (PDT)

Subject: From

Thank you all so much, I'm still feeling very blown away by all of this, I am going away for the weekend but when I get back I am definately going to go over all this w/my boyfriend, I read most of the emails and printed the stories to read again, and probably again...I was under the impression that " saline was safe " ...just to clarify, it is the silicone shell that the body rejects? Does anyone know why the symptoms come...becasue the body rejects the foreign object or is the silicone shell toxic to the body? I know there are no actual clinical studies that prove it, but obviously it has to do with the implants but has anyone found a site that offers explanations/opinions? Well I am definately bummed,,,I was so excited about the BA but maybe I did find this site for a reason, I don't want to gamble with my health...I already have asthma and I am the biggest baby when I get sick, I am very lucky to have such loving and supportive family/friends but I wouldn't want to put them through it if I lost at Russian Roulette...especially my mom! I am an only child and she is supportive of the surgery but she definately wants me to know that she is only supportive if it is unharming to me...my response...of course mom, it's just salt water!...I am so glad to have read your stories, it isn't worth it, I just need to come to realization with it...I will touch base on Monday...I know I want to cry now becasue I really looked forward to having boobs I wasn't ashamed of, but I will keep reading your stories to help me stay strong...much love to all of you, you make me proud to be a woman!

Thank you again,

halvey70@... wrote:

Teri is right. I have been in your shoes. I was your age when I started saving for mine - it is all I thought about since Jr high. I was a AA - very small. Please read my story posted below - you would not want to be in my position right now. My life has been ruined and it can happen to you just like all of the other women in here. I now it is obnoxiously long, but at least take a few minutes to read what happened to me and keep it in your thoughts while you are making this decision - it is NOT something that can easily be reversed if you don't like them, like a haircolor. This is permanant and whether you like them or not it will alter your body forever and quite possibly the health of your future children.

thanks - Shari

My Story:

I am trying desperately to get over the anger and fear I feel for being so mislead and making such a stupid decision. I have had a lot of moments where I felt suicidal as I don’t feel that anyone around me really understands what I am going through. Most of my doctors agree that there may be a link but nobody really wants to come out and say “yeah - these things are badâ€. I find it amazing the amounts of info I have found throughout my research that no more is being done in our society to put a stop to this madness. So many innocent young girls are making that same mistake I did and they just don’t understand the impact it will have for the rest of their lives. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t have to fight the urge to just run my car off the edge of an overpass on my way to work just to get rid of all of the pain. Not just the physical pain but emotional. All of the anger at what I have done to myself and being lied to and the fact that nobody believes me, all of the fear that it isn’t going to get better, the fear that I won’t be able to become a happier and more energetic mom to my two year old and the fear that I will never be able to give him a sibling. The hurt that I feel having to wake up every morning and go to a high stress job as I can’t afford to quit when all I want to do is rest so I can get better. If my story can help others avoid this tragic life mistake then I feel better knowing that at have accomplished something good for a change.

It has been less than a year since I started doing research on the subject and found the support groups. It is all making sense to me now but at first I didn’t know what and who to believe. To be honest with you I don’t know why I didn’t see the signs earlier – we have all been very mislead.

In February of 1996 I went for my first consultation with the plastic surgeon. I was 25 and was a 34AA. I had always been petite and small busted and was sick of having all of my clothes altered and wearing padded bras all of the time. I just wanted to look normal – not large. When I went to see him I was examined and told that I was a good candidate for it. They treated me like a princess and were extremely nice. I was told that the saline’s were completely safe and harmless – on the “very rare†chance that I had a break that it would be harmlessly absorbed into my body as it was only water. My PS claimed that in 18 years he had only had 1 leak. The only other complications that were discussed were the normal risks w/ surgery – infection and anesthesia problems. When I got the paperwork to sign with numerous other warnings on it I asked questions and was assured that those were only because of the problems with the silicone – not saline. I bought into it and paid my money. The operation was in April. He recommended the armpit crease incision to avoid breast scars and putting them under the muscle as I was very small busted and they would look more natural. He also recommended texture implants as they had less of a risk for capsular contracture. (proved that one wrong with 6 months!) The operation was much worse than he had warned as far as pain but I figured that it was a small price to pay for looking good. Within a few months they still were not looking right. Not at all natural – very hard and high and painful. By January he scheduled me for another operation as I had developed capsular contracture - They had healed inside of very hard shells of scar tissue and were like rocks. They both had to be removed and reinserted. After that things went well for about two years. Then in May of 1999 I woke up one morning and when I looked at myself I looked lopsided. With in a few hours one of my breasts had completely deflated. I was very scared and called his emergency service. It took 5 calls but when he finally called back he assured me that it was completely safe and he would fix it. This was on Sunday – by Wednesday I was back in for surgery to have the implant replaced. Apparently the valve had failed and leaked. He said that this was very rare which of course I know now to be false. They would not show me the implant when I asked to see it after the surgery which made me wonder about them but I trusted him – he was my doctor, right? Shortly after this I started having a lot of headaches. I was treated for migraines, allergies – you name it. Nothing would work. Then I started getting severe cramping and muscle spasms in my neck and shoulders and had to be put on muscle relaxers. Then things just started getting worse – stress, anxiety. I saw numerous doctors and was treated with anti-depressants as they felt the anxiety was caused by the chronic pain. After this I was just always sick – always had a cold, sinus infections, ear infections – you name it. I hadn’t had three ear infections in my life up to 25 and then I was having 4 & 5 a year. every flu or virus that comes along – I get it. The headaches were getting worse and I started seeing chiropractors, neurologists, and massage therapists, and finally a pain management doctor as a last resort in January. During my exam he noted that I felt as I had a lot of scar tissue in my neck area and wanted to know if I had been in a bad accident. I stated that I had not but mention the implants. He then asked if I had ever had a leak. I think my heart probably stopped for a whole minute then – I had never thought of this. They had run test after test never giving me any answers. I thought I had some weird disease or something that nobody could identify. I constantly felt bad although I could not really describe it to anyone – sort of like always having the flu. Extremely tired and achy all of the time. I started researching and became extremely terrified after finding the different web sites with other women’s stories as they were almost word for word – ME – all of the symptoms and complaints. I could not believe this was happening. After all – I was assured that they were safe. After doing a lot of soul searching I decided to have them removed. I went back to my original PS to ask him to do it for me. I wasn’t happy with all of the problems I was having and I wanted them out. I mentioned all of the info I found out and said that I did not want to risk it anymore. His attitude completely changed at this point. He said that I needed to wait another 6 months as I would change my mind – he was sure of it. I said that there was no possibility of me changing my mind but he wouldn’t listen. I told him that I was scared and would gladly pay for the operation – I wasn’t asking for a freebie. He treated me horribly saying that I needed to be tested for cancer and other diseases as my illnesses were probably from one of those and he couldn’t operate if I had cancer. I assured him several times during the conversation that I would have all of the tests performed that he felt necessary to rule those out so he could do it. He continued to tell me that I would look horrible afterwards and would regret the decision. At this point in his office I started crying and was begging him to please put me on his schedule as he is pretty booked all of the time and in the meantime I would have all of the testing done he needed . He walked out of the room while I was talking to him – bawling at this point and never said another word to me. Gone was the nice guy saying that everything would be fine and I was going to look beautiful. I was so distraught after leaving his office that I could not even drive for an hour. I just sat in my car and cried.

Within a week I had another appointment with a different doctor. Upon seeing him he agreed to remove them based on my findings and scheduled my operation. Within about three months I was under the knife for the 4th time – removal. I asked for the implants so I could have them analyzed and he agreed. I took them home with me and after a few days took a look at them. One was yellow with small chunks floating in it. The other (the newer one replacing the deflated on in 99) looked clear but the valve was black. The explanting PS said that this was tissue growth into the valve which was holding it open. I Sent them to Canada to a specialist to have them looked at which ended up showing that both had defective valves and were leaking – both were severely contaminated with micro organism growth. I gave a copy of the report to my explant PS who in turn agreed and wrote a letter in support of my insurance appeal that after reviewing the report he also felt that this was a cause of my symptomatic illnesses.

It has been almost 5 months now and I have seen a little improvement – not much. I have had several infections in my rib cartilage which is still extremely painful. I am starting to wonder if maybe all of my scar capsules were removed as I am still very ill and my breasts feel a little lumpy underneath. If I can get to a point where I have enough money, I would like to go to Cleveland to see Dr. Feng for another operation to make sure all has been removed. I wanted to go to her in the first place but I did not have the extra money for the trip. My explant Dr. was wonderful and local and gave me a break as he knew I was paying out of pocket for the operation. I am just glad they are gone. My families’ finances have been very tight the last few years with all of the dr appts and medications.

Hopefully as the days go by I will get better and better – it will be a tough road but one I am glad to be taking. I thank god everyday for helping me to find the truth and helping me to get through this.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I just started reading some of your posts....and boy am I glad you

found this site...I found it two years too late. I'm 21 years old

and received my saline breast implants two years ago, when I was

19. To sum up, I graduated college at the age of 20, played every

sport in high school, and was the epitome of health until I received

my implants. I too, thought I was too " bottom " heavy. I was

a " barely B " and I told my plastic surgeon to make me perfect. So,

to him, " perfect " meant going from a B to a D. I thought this man

knew everything; afterall, my friend had been working for him for 12

years, just got saline breast implants herself, and said no one had

ever complained of problems because " they are just salt water " .

Immediately after surgery, I began experiencing weird, shooting arm

pains. Then slowly, every joint/bone/muscle in my body was in

excrutiating pain. I was exhausted all of the time, had no energy,

experienced hair loss, had chest and heart, and rib pains, and had

trouble remembering things and thinking clearly (the list goes on

and on---before implants, I just had allergies).Then I was diagnosed

with rheumatoid arthritis and ankylosing spondilitis (arthritis of

the neck and spine). I lived in doctor's offices, I was bed-ridden,

and I was disabled (I've got the handicapped parking pass and am

waiting on my lawyer's appeal for my disability claim). My " safe "

saline breast implants cost me everything. The surgery to put them

in cost $4500, and to take them out was the best $6000 my parents

could have spent...yep, my parents, as I am still paying on the cost

to have them put in.

I never thought about my implants being dangerous. Almost all of my

doctors would consistently tell me that my health problems were not

related to implants. The fact is, these saline implants are encased

in silicone....and silicone is HARMFUL to your body! The silicone

shell IS enough to cause autoimmune diseases and various health

problems. I was tested for silicone poisoning, and I came up

positive. I had my breast implants removed a month ago today, and

my health has improved drammatically. I feel like I will eventually

get my life back, but it won't be without a fight and a continuous

struggle.

I have seen what saline breast implants are capable of, and I have

decided to do whatever I can to warn other women of the dangers.

Just last night I turned my restaurant check over and wrote a quick

note to the waitress.....just anything I can do to get this issue

out. Currently, I'm working with MTV to do a segement on the

dangers of plastic surgery (which should air in Feb. 2004). I wish

I would have found this site two years ago. I wish I had known what

I was getting myself into...but if women knew about all of this

stuff, breast implants wouldn't be in as high of a demand. I'm not

totally against plastic surgery; I'm against implanting foreign

objects into your body (and DEFINITELY if they are silicone)...it's

not natural, and unless it's absolutley necessary to live--I

WOULDN'T DO IT. My advice would be to see if a surgeon would

somehow be able to work with the breast tissue you have to enhance

your appearance. There just has to be a better option.

After my breast implants were taken out, my bra size is a 36C. Yep,

a whole size larger than the ones I was born with (to recap:

34B/34D/36C). This may have to do with the fact that our breasts

still grow in our early 20's...and it may have to do with the fact

that I had an awesome explanting (P/S that took them out) surgeon,

Dr. Melmed in Dallas, TX.

If you have any questions (no question is too small), I would love

to speak with you. You have a chance at life. Just think, it's not

COOL to have a large chest unless you can show it off, right?

That's the whole idea. Well, my large chest and I barely left my

bed, but with my smaller one, I could do anything.

Best wishes,

Kacey

972-342-9242

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Teri is right. I have been in your shoes. I was your age when I

started saving for mine - it is all I thought about since Jr high. I

was a AA - very small. Please read my story posted below - you

would not want to be in my position right now. My life has been

ruined and it can happen to you just like all of the other women in

here. I now it is obnoxiously long, but at least take a few minutes

to read what happened to me and keep it in your thoughts while you

are making this decision - it is NOT something that can easily be

reversed if you don't like them, like a haircolor. This is

permanant and whether you like them or not it will alter your body

forever and quite possibly the health of your future children.

> thanks - Shari

>

> My Story:

>

> I am trying desperately to get over the anger and fear I feel for

being so mislead and making such a stupid decision. I have had a

lot of moments where I felt suicidal as I don’t feel that anyone

around me really understands what I am going through. Most of my

doctors agree that there may be a link but nobody really wants to

come out and say “yeah - these things are badâ€. I find it

amazing the amounts of info I have found throughout my research that

no more is being done in our society to put a stop to this madness.

So many innocent young girls are making that same mistake I did and

they just don’t understand the impact it will have for the rest of

their lives. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t have to

fight the urge to just run my car off the edge of an overpass on my

way to work just to get rid of all of the pain. Not just the

physical pain but emotional. All of the anger at what I have done

to myself and being lied to and the fact that nobody believes

> me, all of the fear that it isn’t going to get better, the fear

that I won’t be able to become a happier and more energetic mom to

my two year old and the fear that I will never be able to give him a

sibling. The hurt that I feel having to wake up every morning and

go to a high stress job as I can’t afford to quit when all I want

to do is rest so I can get better. If my story can help others

avoid this tragic life mistake then I feel better knowing that at

have accomplished something good for a change.

>

> It has been less than a year since I started doing research on the

subject and found the support groups. It is all making sense to me

now but at first I didn’t know what and who to believe. To be

honest with you I don’t know why I didn’t see the signs earlier

†" we have all been very mislead.

> In February of 1996 I went for my first consultation with the

plastic surgeon. I was 25 and was a 34AA. I had always been petite

and small busted and was sick of having all of my clothes altered

and wearing padded bras all of the time. I just wanted to look

normal †" not large. When I went to see him I was examined and

told that I was a good candidate for it. They treated me like a

princess and were extremely nice. I was told that the saline’s

were completely safe and harmless †" on the “very rare†chance

that I had a break that it would be harmlessly absorbed into my body

as it was only water. My PS claimed that in 18 years he had only

had 1 leak. The only other complications that were discussed were

the normal risks w/ surgery †" infection and anesthesia problems.

When I got the paperwork to sign with numerous other warnings on it

I asked questions and was assured that those were only because of

the problems with the silicone †" not saline. I bought into it and

> paid my money. The operation was in April. He recommended the

armpit crease incision to avoid breast scars and putting them under

the muscle as I was very small busted and they would look more

natural. He also recommended texture implants as they had less of a

risk for capsular contracture. (proved that one wrong with 6

months!) The operation was much worse than he had warned as far as

pain but I figured that it was a small price to pay for looking

good. Within a few months they still were not looking right. Not

at all natural †" very hard and high and painful. By January he

scheduled me for another operation as I had developed capsular

contracture - They had healed inside of very hard shells of scar

tissue and were like rocks. They both had to be removed and

reinserted. After that things went well for about two years. Then

in May of 1999 I woke up one morning and when I looked at myself I

looked lopsided. With in a few hours one of my breasts had

completely deflated. I

> was very scared and called his emergency service. It took 5

calls but when he finally called back he assured me that it was

completely safe and he would fix it. This was on Sunday †" by

Wednesday I was back in for surgery to have the implant replaced.

Apparently the valve had failed and leaked. He said that this was

very rare which of course I know now to be false. They would not

show me the implant when I asked to see it after the surgery which

made me wonder about them but I trusted him †" he was my doctor,

right? Shortly after this I started having a lot of headaches. I

was treated for migraines, allergies †" you name it. Nothing would

work. Then I started getting severe cramping and muscle spasms in my

neck and shoulders and had to be put on muscle relaxers. Then

things just started getting worse †" stress, anxiety. I saw

numerous doctors and was treated with anti-depressants as they felt

the anxiety was caused by the chronic pain. After this I was just

always sick

> †" always had a cold, sinus infections, ear infections †" you

name it. I hadn’t had three ear infections in my life up to 25

and then I was having 4 & 5 a year. every flu or virus that comes

along †" I get it. The headaches were getting worse and I started

seeing chiropractors, neurologists, and massage therapists, and

finally a pain management doctor as a last resort in January.

During my exam he noted that I felt as I had a lot of scar tissue in

my neck area and wanted to know if I had been in a bad accident. I

stated that I had not but mention the implants. He then asked if I

had ever had a leak. I think my heart probably stopped for a whole

minute then †" I had never thought of this. They had run test

after test never giving me any answers. I thought I had some weird

disease or something that nobody could identify. I constantly felt

bad although I could not really describe it to anyone †" sort of

like always having the flu. Extremely tired and achy all of the

> time. I started researching and became extremely terrified

after finding the different web sites with other women’s stories

as they were almost word for word †" ME †" all of the symptoms and

complaints. I could not believe this was happening. After all †"

I was assured that they were safe. After doing a lot of soul

searching I decided to have them removed. I went back to my

original PS to ask him to do it for me. I wasn’t happy with all

of the problems I was having and I wanted them out. I mentioned all

of the info I found out and said that I did not want to risk it

anymore. His attitude completely changed at this point. He said

that I needed to wait another 6 months as I would change my mind †"

he was sure of it. I said that there was no possibility of me

changing my mind but he wouldn’t listen. I told him that I was

scared and would gladly pay for the operation †" I wasn’t asking

for a freebie. He treated me horribly saying that I needed to be

tested for

> cancer and other diseases as my illnesses were probably from one

of those and he couldn’t operate if I had cancer. I assured him

several times during the conversation that I would have all of the

tests performed that he felt necessary to rule those out so he could

do it. He continued to tell me that I would look horrible

afterwards and would regret the decision. At this point in his

office I started crying and was begging him to please put me on his

schedule as he is pretty booked all of the time and in the meantime

I would have all of the testing done he needed . He walked out of

the room while I was talking to him †" bawling at this point and

never said another word to me. Gone was the nice guy saying that

everything would be fine and I was going to look beautiful. I was

so distraught after leaving his office that I could not even drive

for an hour. I just sat in my car and cried.

>

> Within a week I had another appointment with a different doctor.

Upon seeing him he agreed to remove them based on my findings and

scheduled my operation. Within about three months I was under the

knife for the 4th time †" removal. I asked for the implants so I

could have them analyzed and he agreed. I took them home with me

and after a few days took a look at them. One was yellow with small

chunks floating in it. The other (the newer one replacing the

deflated on in 99) looked clear but the valve was black. The

explanting PS said that this was tissue growth into the valve which

was holding it open. I Sent them to Canada to a specialist to have

them looked at which ended up showing that both had defective valves

and were leaking †" both were severely contaminated with micro

organism growth. I gave a copy of the report to my explant PS who

in turn agreed and wrote a letter in support of my insurance appeal

that after reviewing the report he also felt that this was a cause

> of my symptomatic illnesses.

>

> It has been almost 5 months now and I have seen a little

improvement †" not much. I have had several infections in my rib

cartilage which is still extremely painful. I am starting to wonder

if maybe all of my scar capsules were removed as I am still very ill

and my breasts feel a little lumpy underneath. If I can get to a

point where I have enough money, I would like to go to Cleveland to

see Dr. Feng for another operation to make sure all has been

removed. I wanted to go to her in the first place but I did not

have the extra money for the trip. My explant Dr. was wonderful and

local and gave me a break as he knew I was paying out of pocket for

the operation. I am just glad they are gone. My families’

finances have been very tight the last few years with all of the dr

appts and medications.

>

> Hopefully as the days go by I will get better and better †" it

will be a tough road but one I am glad to be taking. I thank god

everyday for helping me to find the truth and helping me to get

through this.

>

>

>