& TO ALL

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I was so glad that you are at least thinking twice about this. I almost started crying when I saw all the replies that you got from this website caring about you and warning you on implants. That has to make you feel good that there are GOOD WOMEN who really truly care about other women and will give you the brutal truth!

I know you are bummed but like Colleen and many others said, they would rather be bummed and be able TO LIVE LIFE than have bigger breasts and be disabled. I think Colleen had a great point!

Let us know when you regroup this weekend and we truly care here!

Teri

----- Original Message -----

From: Serbe

Sent: Friday, October 17, 2003 12:17 PM

Subject: From

Thank you all so much, I'm still feeling very blown away by all of this, I am going away for the weekend but when I get back I am definately going to go over all this w/my boyfriend, I read most of the emails and printed the stories to read again, and probably again...I was under the impression that "saline was safe" ...just to clarify, it is the silicone shell that the body rejects? Does anyone know why the symptoms come...becasue the body rejects the foreign object or is the silicone shell toxic to the body? I know there are no actual clinical studies that prove it, but obviously it has to do with the implants but has anyone found a site that offers explanations/opinions? Well I am definately bummed,,,I was so excited about the BA but maybe I did find this site for a reason, I don't want to gamble with my health...I already have asthma and I am the biggest baby when I get sick, I am very lucky to have such loving and supportive family/friends but I wouldn't want to put them through it if I lost at Russian Roulette...especially my mom! I am an only child and she is supportive of the surgery but she definately wants me to know that she is only supportive if it is unharming to me...my response...of course mom, it's just salt water!...I am so glad to have read your stories, it isn't worth it, I just need to come to realization with it...I will touch base on Monday...I know I want to cry now becasue I really looked forward to having boobs I wasn't ashamed of, but I will keep reading your stories to help me stay strong...much love to all of you, you make me proud to be a woman!

Thank you again,

halvey70@... wrote:

Teri is right. I have been in your shoes. I was your age when I started saving for mine - it is all I thought about since Jr high. I was a AA - very small. Please read my story posted below - you would not want to be in my position right now. My life has been ruined and it can happen to you just like all of the other women in here. I now it is obnoxiously long, but at least take a few minutes to read what happened to me and keep it in your thoughts while you are making this decision - it is NOT something that can easily be reversed if you don't like them, like a haircolor. This is permanant and whether you like them or not it will alter your body forever and quite possibly the health of your future children. thanks - ShariMy Story:I am trying desperately to get over the anger and fear I feel for being so mislead and making such a stupid decision. I have had a lot of moments where I felt suicidal as I don’t feel that anyone around me really understands what I am going through. Most of my doctors agree that there may be a link but nobody really wants to come out and say “yeah - these things are badâ€. I find it amazing the amounts of info I have found throughout my research that no more is being done in our society to put a stop to this madness. So many innocent young girls are making that same mistake I did and they just don’t understand the impact it will have for the rest of their lives. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t have to fight the urge to just run my car off the edge of an overpass on my way to work just to get rid of all of the pain. Not just the physical pain but emotional. All of the anger at what I have done to myself and being lied to and the fact that nobody believes me, all of the fear that it isn’t going to get better, the fear that I won’t be able to become a happier and more energetic mom to my two year old and the fear that I will never be able to give him a sibling. The hurt that I feel having to wake up every morning and go to a high stress job as I can’t afford to quit when all I want to do is rest so I can get better. If my story can help others avoid this tragic life mistake then I feel better knowing that at have accomplished something good for a change.It has been less than a year since I started doing research on the subject and found the support groups. It is all making sense to me now but at first I didn’t know what and who to believe. To be honest with you I don’t know why I didn’t see the signs earlier – we have all been very mislead. In February of 1996 I went for my first consultation with the plastic surgeon. I was 25 and was a 34AA. I had always been petite and small busted and was sick of having all of my clothes altered and wearing padded bras all of the time. I just wanted to look normal – not large. When I went to see him I was examined and told that I was a good candidate for it. They treated me like a princess and were extremely nice. I was told that the saline’s were completely safe and harmless – on the “very rare†chance that I had a break that it would be harmlessly absorbed into my body as it was only water. My PS claimed that in 18 years he had only had 1 leak. The only other complications that were discussed were the normal risks w/ surgery – infection and anesthesia problems. When I got the paperwork to sign with numerous other warnings on it I asked questions and was assured that those were only because of the problems with the silicone – not saline. I bought into it and paid my money. The operation was in April. He recommended the armpit crease incision to avoid breast scars and putting them under the muscle as I was very small busted and they would look more natural. He also recommended texture implants as they had less of a risk for capsular contracture. (proved that one wrong with 6 months!) The operation was much worse than he had warned as far as pain but I figured that it was a small price to pay for looking good. Within a few months they still were not looking right. Not at all natural – very hard and high and painful. By January he scheduled me for another operation as I had developed capsular contracture - They had healed inside of very hard shells of scar tissue and were like rocks. They both had to be removed and reinserted. After that things went well for about two years. Then in May of 1999 I woke up one morning and when I looked at myself I looked lopsided. With in a few hours one of my breasts had completely deflated. I was very scared and called his emergency service. It took 5 calls but when he finally called back he assured me that it was completely safe and he would fix it. This was on Sunday – by Wednesday I was back in for surgery to have the implant replaced. Apparently the valve had failed and leaked. He said that this was very rare which of course I know now to be false. They would not show me the implant when I asked to see it after the surgery which made me wonder about them but I trusted him – he was my doctor, right? Shortly after this I started having a lot of headaches. I was treated for migraines, allergies – you name it. Nothing would work. Then I started getting severe cramping and muscle spasms in my neck and shoulders and had to be put on muscle relaxers. Then things just started getting worse – stress, anxiety. I saw numerous doctors and was treated with anti-depressants as they felt the anxiety was caused by the chronic pain. After this I was just always sick – always had a cold, sinus infections, ear infections – you name it. I hadn’t had three ear infections in my life up to 25 and then I was having 4 & 5 a year. every flu or virus that comes along – I get it. The headaches were getting worse and I started seeing chiropractors, neurologists, and massage therapists, and finally a pain management doctor as a last resort in January. During my exam he noted that I felt as I had a lot of scar tissue in my neck area and wanted to know if I had been in a bad accident. I stated that I had not but mention the implants. He then asked if I had ever had a leak. I think my heart probably stopped for a whole minute then – I had never thought of this. They had run test after test never giving me any answers. I thought I had some weird disease or something that nobody could identify. I constantly felt bad although I could not really describe it to anyone – sort of like always having the flu. Extremely tired and achy all of the time. I started researching and became extremely terrified after finding the different web sites with other women’s stories as they were almost word for word – ME – all of the symptoms and complaints. I could not believe this was happening. After all – I was assured that they were safe. After doing a lot of soul searching I decided to have them removed. I went back to my original PS to ask him to do it for me. I wasn’t happy with all of the problems I was having and I wanted them out. I mentioned all of the info I found out and said that I did not want to risk it anymore. His attitude completely changed at this point. He said that I needed to wait another 6 months as I would change my mind – he was sure of it. I said that there was no possibility of me changing my mind but he wouldn’t listen. I told him that I was scared and would gladly pay for the operation – I wasn’t asking for a freebie. He treated me horribly saying that I needed to be tested for cancer and other diseases as my illnesses were probably from one of those and he couldn’t operate if I had cancer. I assured him several times during the conversation that I would have all of the tests performed that he felt necessary to rule those out so he could do it. He continued to tell me that I would look horrible afterwards and would regret the decision. At this point in his office I started crying and was begging him to please put me on his schedule as he is pretty booked all of the time and in the meantime I would have all of the testing done he needed . He walked out of the room while I was talking to him – bawling at this point and never said another word to me. Gone was the nice guy saying that everything would be fine and I was going to look beautiful. I was so distraught after leaving his office that I could not even drive for an hour. I just sat in my car and cried.Within a week I had another appointment with a different doctor. Upon seeing him he agreed to remove them based on my findings and scheduled my operation. Within about three months I was under the knife for the 4th time – removal. I asked for the implants so I could have them analyzed and he agreed. I took them home with me and after a few days took a look at them. One was yellow with small chunks floating in it. The other (the newer one replacing the deflated on in 99) looked clear but the valve was black. The explanting PS said that this was tissue growth into the valve which was holding it open. I Sent them to Canada to a specialist to have them looked at which ended up showing that both had defective valves and were leaking – both were severely contaminated with micro organism growth. I gave a copy of the report to my explant PS who in turn agreed and wrote a letter in support of my insurance appeal that after reviewing the report he also felt that this was a cause of my symptomatic illnesses. It has been almost 5 months now and I have seen a little improvement – not much. I have had several infections in my rib cartilage which is still extremely painful. I am starting to wonder if maybe all of my scar capsules were removed as I am still very ill and my breasts feel a little lumpy underneath. If I can get to a point where I have enough money, I would like to go to Cleveland to see Dr. Feng for another operation to make sure all has been removed. I wanted to go to her in the first place but I did not have the extra money for the trip. My explant Dr. was wonderful and local and gave me a break as he knew I was paying out of pocket for the operation. I am just glad they are gone. My families’ finances have been very tight the last few years with all of the dr appts and medications. Hopefully as the days go by I will get better and better – it will be a tough road but one I am glad to be taking. I thank god everyday for helping me to find the truth and helping me to get through this.