Patty and To all of you

[Guest guest]

Patty,

I am so sorry this is so long but I have been inspired by people like

Ilena Rose and her website. To have that much passion and self

cofidence to go out there and put herself on the line by ADMITTING

THAT GOD HAS A BIG ROLE IN ALL OF THIS AND FAITH HAS TO BE THERE, BUT

REALITY IS WE AS PEOPLE HAVE TO STEP IN AND FINISH THE PATH THAT GOD

PUT US ON TO FIGHT AGAINST THESE PEOPLE, NOT EACH OTHER'S VIEWS AND

EMBRACE what everybody brings to the table.

I appreciate your response to my email and I do respect your opinion

as I do everybody's on this website. I was not blasting you like you

thought, I actually read somebody elses email to her and just wanted

to respond because the same thing was said to me. I didn't even read

your email to Kay and it really didn't have anything to do with WHO

WROTE IT. My whole intention of sending that email was to share that

I understand that you and everybody is here to help and if we didn't

have faith in God, I really believe for the most part, we would not

be on this website if we didn't have faith in God that we all can

help each other here. I don't have a problem with tallking about God

or my faith in God, but what I do know is some people are not

comfortable with talking abou that and it really has nothing to do

with my feelings and everything to do with just knowing if somebody

is asking for help or telling us over and over that they have faith

in God I certainly would not address that again with THE RATES OF

SUICIDE AND other feelings that women feel when they dont feel people

are listening. That is all I was trying to say today. I have asked

for opinions and respected those given to me even if it was way off

to how I was really feeling.

I just found out that I did have silicone implants. My denial of not

wanting to believe what God WAS TELLING ME THRU MY BODY that I just

believed that when my implant leaked it deflated and when I looked at

it,it waa deflated. I looked at my picture with my attorney and it

was leaking the size was alittle off but it wasn't completly

deflated. I was in shock to even think that the implant could leak

and since I thought I had saline, I just thought it deflated. Well,

the sad thing is he really believed that he was doing me and my

deformed breast tissue a favor my giving me silicone for a better as

he would call it " left normal breast " . I was diagnosed last week

with MS due to my silicone implants that I only had for 5 years but

my silicone was so high in my body that my docter could not even

believe that I could not only hop on a plane and go to New York every

two weeks, that I could acutally wake up and work like I do. I have

to finish with a MRI to make sure that my calcifications isn't

cancer. The betrayal of what my doctor did happened and it happens to

more than what I thought. I expressed my concerns on what I thought

happened, and I understand the majority of women with silicone don't

get sick or leak until 7 to 10 years and that I probably didn't have

silicone. I asked for opinions and I got one and I totally respect

that.I was told that if I had silicone I probably didn't get that

sick because I didn't have them long enough, well, I did it sick and

sometimes we have to remember what worked for people or didn't work

back whenever doesn't always mean it works now. I

feel my body was violated because of WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS GOOD FOR ME.

The sad part about it, is he really believes he did what was right

and better for me. He is so blinded by his own insecurities of maybe

being wrong or having to admit that he was wrong and I was right

about him that he even lower himself one more notch by acknowledging

his fear of NOT LIVING BY WHO HE SAYS HE IS AND BEING A PERSON WITH

FAITH. People with faith in God, live their lives with no ego, and

respecting other peoples values and wishes, and maybe by being open

minded by trying different ways to heal, it sometimes makes their

life better and better with God. Well, I never will get that from

him!HA He is to small of a person to ever admit that.

Going past the Mentor plant after my attorneys appt, I realized that

for us to win this fight against these bad people, God is telling us

that the FDA and thse mega companies could really care less about us

and our lives. Every big corrupt corporation that got busted

(Enron) was BECAUSE PEOPLE REALIZED WHAT WAS HAPPENING and KNEW IT

WAS WRONG AND CAME FORTH TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING TO EVERYBODY. If

we had just thought that given it to God was all that God wanted from

them AT Enron, there would not have been a penny left but some people

were saved and when that happens GOD HAS RESTORED HIS FAITH IN US.

That is GOD giving it to people to give US FAITH IN EACH OTHER. For

me to just sit and be patient until maybe they listen, is something I

struggle with because I know it is wrong and I feel I am doing a

great injustice not sharing my story and getting in front of women

that I can share and show what has happened to me.

I got on this website because God directed me here and to find out

the things that were not right about my implants. I came here to gain

info and be educated on what I didn't know that I should have known.

I never felt I deserved this to happen to me but I have had to do

alot of soul searching why I felt that I needed my breasts to match

each other to feel better about myselfor to feel more wanted or more

important. As much as I said I was a strong woman who had self

confidence, if I wanted to help other women like I do, I first had to

figure out my own personal issues and at least be honst with myself.

I could either deny reality or face up and deal with the fact that I

did lack some self confidence on the way and figure out why and get

back on track. I think what we are doing with the FDA and writing

letters and so forth is great and it always is a positive thing.

I can totally understand the legal issue on the banned docter and it

makes sense why it is the way it is. I DID ASK IN ONE OF MY VERY

FIRST EMAILS why their was alot of conflict between her and everybody

because when I said I read everybody's email from day 1 and got to

know what other women went thru, I really did read everybody

stories! I asked that in my email and even being confused with the

backlash, I NEVER ONCE JUDGED THIS WEBSITE or thought the way you

felt was wrong, but I never got a response back from anyone about

that. THE EMAIL I GOT FROM CARRIE TODAY I WOULD have never and have

never sent anything like that without even knowing that I DID ASK AND

NOBODY REPLIED about the banned docter and because she didn't know

that I did ask or really didn't care to know because it was assumed

that I didn't. I have always replied to EVERYONE that has replied to

my messages and even supported women who was having a hard time

because people in their life wasn't supporting them. The worse

feeling in the world is to feel alone when you are not.

Thank you to everyone that gave me anwers to my questions,

Teri